Fallen
by Iwentdownwiththeshipbye
Summary: Beca has a religious, homophobic father who has been abusive in the past, leading Beca to think she needs to have secret relationships. Only her last relationship ended horribly and she's left to get her frustrations out by womanizing. Until she meets Chloe. Who sees right through her persona.
1. Chapter 1

_Beca Mitchell 03:12_  
 _Hey Jess, can you back me up on Saturday night?_  
 _Jesse Swanson 09:46_  
 _You got it, daddy getting sus?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 13:33_  
 _Yeah, he thinks going to the same college means we should be spending every minute together._  
 _Jesse Swanson 13:34_  
 _I'm pretty sure most couples do_  
 _Beca Mitchell 13:35_  
 _Yeah...real couples. Anyway, 7pm is when we need to be there._  
 _Jesse Swanson 13:35_  
 _You got it._

This was usually how it goes when Beca needs to use her best friend as a beard. Jesse was the only person (other than her exes) who knew that she was gay. Her father had caught her once, and then pretty much beat it out of her, or so he thought. She'd just never let him find out that she was still into girls, and Jesse was her back up. The perfect boyfriend.

Her father loves Jesse, probably because he thinks that Jesse's keeping her straight and a good little Christian. Which is the total opposite for Beca. She's come to hate Religion, and she seriously doesn't have an interest in the D.

 _Jesse Swanson 13:38_  
 _You still coming tonight?_

Beca stares at the message for a minute, trying to remember ever making plans with Jesse

 _Beca Mitchell 13:38_  
 _Yeah…. refresh my memory on what we're doing though_  
 _Jesse Swanson 13:39_  
 _You have the worst memory. My first RIFF OFF!_  
 _Beca Mitchell 13:39_  
 _Jesus, do I really have to?_  
 _Jesse Swanson 13:40_  
 _You need back up on Saturday, I need back up tonight. You just have to stand there and laugh at me, won't be hard for you to do_  
 _Beca Mitchell 13:41_  
 _In that case, bring it on_  
 _Jesse Swanson 13:44_  
 _I'll be at your dorm at 8:30 tonight._

Beca groans loudly, Jesse's love for a-capella is something that she'll never understand. Organized nerd-singing. Another thing she'll have to avoid telling her father, he might start assuming Jesse's queer. That's the last thing she needs to happen.

* * *

8:30pm rolled around fairly quickly that evening, and Jesse had shown up exactly on the minute (although Beca thinks he was just standing outside staring at his watch to time it). They got to the inground pool where the gathering group of nerd-singers were, and Jesse left Beca sitting on the edge of the pool, staring down at the group preparing their weird sing-off competition.

It became hard for Beca to focus once she caught sight of the group of all girls singing a Mariah song, her eyes settled on a redhead. Beca can usually hide her sexuality fairly well when it comes to being in public, but she couldn't seem to take her eyes off this girl. And at the first glance, it felt like she stopped breathing for a minute, which was definitely a new thing for her to experience, but totally understandable when she thinks about it. The redhead was beautiful, and the way she smiles when she's singing.

Beca had to actually get up and move away for fear that she was going to fall into the pool and break her legs or something horrifying. Also because she can't show interest in girls, especially not when she's at college where her father _works_. Not that this girl would even look twice at her.

Beca found a spot a few feet away from the edge of the pool, standing away from the small crowd of spectators near her so that she had a good view. The riff-off ended eventually, with Jesse's team being the victors. Then Beca watched as her best friend approached the girl group and started talking to a tall blonde and that same redhead. When he points up at her, she feels like everything around her just froze in time. The redhead had turned to look up at her and smiled. At Beca.

Even when the redhead had turned away, Beca's heart was still beating rapidly, making it hard for her to keep control of her breathing. Jesse started waving towards her, signalling her to go down to them. She shakes her head quickly, only prompting Jesse to roll his eyes and start using his voice to yell at her and say 'Get your ass down here'. Beca sees the redhead turning back again, so she spins around and walks to the guy near her, punching his arm gently and getting his attention "What's up, dude?"

"Do I know you?" The guy says, staring down at her as he holds onto a red cup of something Beca _really_ needs to acquire.

"Nope. But I kinda need-"

"Beca!" Beca slumps slightly and turns around to find Jesse standing next to her, giving her one of those looks that just says 'You're an embarrassment to everything ever'. "What's the problem?"

"Nothing, just hanging out with my buddy here" Beca reaches up to drape her forearm over this stranger's shoulder, which is really quite high up.

"Oh really? This is your buddy? What's his name?" Jesse asks her, which makes the cogs start turning in her brain. Surely this guy will be cool enough to go along with what she says.

"Drake. This is Drake" Beca glances up at the guy, who really doesn't look like a Drake, he looks more like a Chad, it only took her this long to notice the popped collar.

"Actually, my name's Brent" The guy says, completely hindering her plan.

"Nice try, Beca" Jesse says, reaching out to grab Beca's hand. He drags her all the way down into the inground pool, much to her discomfort. She could really feel her anxiety getting the better of her when she gets closer to the girl group. It wasn't bad enough that she sees so many attractive girls in that group, she has to be introduced to them and try to act like she's even _slightly_ good enough to talk to them.

"Ladies. This is Beca, the one I was talking about" Jesse's introduction was ominous as hell. Now her desire to turn and run was at full capacity. Which somehow goes into infinity plus one when the redhead turns around to look at her. From about two feet away now.

As soon as the redhead opened her mouth to speak, Beca didn't hear a thing. She could see the lips moving, but comprehending any sense of language just went out the window. And now that she was staring at the redhead, who had stopped talking, she realized she looks mental.

The first thing Beca hears when she becomes aware of her surroundings is the blonde next to the redhead saying "So Jesse says you're a great singer"

"Oh, not really...no" Beca manages to take a deep breath before she glances back at the redhead, eventually she'll be able to be her normal self. It'll just take her a minute until she gets used to this face in front of her.

"Oh stop being such a liar, Bec" Jesse smacks Beca's arm before grabbing her on the shoulder and pulling her body against him in a side hug. "She's just being modest. She's a kick-ass singer"

"I have a pretty good ability to sense good singers, you're totes on the list" the redhead winks at Beca, making her feel like she was about to choke on her heart.

"I hope it's a to-do list" Beca's nervous laugh escapes her in a really manic way. Now she looks like a freak. And if it wasn't for Jesse's help in laughing at her joke, she would have died right there.

The redhead's eyes narrow slightly with an amused smile that really was taking its toll on her. The longer this girl keeps eye contact, the more stupid things Beca's going to say.

Beca doesn't _usually_ have this kind of reaction to girls. Most of the time she's cool and calm, so this is new for her. Very new. Beca's used to being confident when it comes to flirting, and now she's just… nervous and that attempt at a joke really disappointed her.

"Well we're looking for more girls, if you want to audition" The blonde says, when Beca's eyes moved back, the blonde was looking her up and down, possibly trying to intimidate her.

"Thanks but… it isn't really my scene" Beca turns her eyes back to the redhead again, who was still smiling at her. It was easy for Beca to get wrapped up in a situation and end up taking _full_ advantage of it. This is how she usually ends up in bed with a girl, but she'd always have to get out as fast as she got in. There was no way she could risk a repeat of her attempt at a real girlfriend.

"Suit yourself" the blonde says while turning to the redhead "I have to go peel Amy off Bumper before she adds to our kicked out list of Bellas"

"Oh, Aubrey!" Jesse lets go of Beca's shoulders and takes off after the blonde, leaving her standing alone with the redhead and officially dying on the spot now.

"So will you sing for just me?" the redhead asks with raised eyebrows. Beca's eyes dart around at the mingling groups behind the redhead, catching sight of Jesse talking to Aubrey, Jesse who is _supposed_ to have her back.

"Ah.." Beca's eyes return to the redhead's eyes, feeling like they're just pulling her in closer. "I have laryngitis" she took a moment to mentally slap herself in the face, and even the redhead gaze her an incredulous look. "Okay. I don't have laryngitis. But… I do have… voice box cancer"

"Are you just going to make stuff up all night?" Beca's brain finally decides to switch on and boost up her confidence enough to give her the perfect reply.

"Well I'd rather make out all night, but something tells me I should get your name first" Beca's mental slap turns into a high-five, which turns into a high-ten when the redhead shakes her head while smiling.

"It's Chloe. You'd know that if you listened" Chloe's hand comes forward to her, sending her eyes down to stare at it for a moment before moving her hand up to shake it gently. She takes notice of the soft hands and turns their hands over to look at the back of Chloe's hand.

"Your hands are super soft, what do you do? Wash them in baby blood?" Beca looks up at Chloe, who had a slight expression change, Beca knows the look, this is the look that tells her to keep flirting and it'll go well for her.

"I have a very specific type of moisturizer" Chloe says with a smirk, their hands were still clasped together and Beca makes her move to start stroking her thumb against the back of Chloe's hand.

"Is your last name Bathory?" Beca asks as her eyebrow raises at the redhead. Chloe smirks back and nods. "Nice. Your ancestors passed down the secret to eternal youth then"

"Oh yeah. I'm actually forty years old" Chloe's hand moves out of hers slightly, but Beca feels fingertips against her palm, making her swallow hard. That's definitely a hint, right?

"So… you're a cougar then"

"Totally" Chloe winks again and Beca glances down at the redhead's hand dropping away from her, then she looks back up into Chloe's eyes.

"So… how do I get to be one of your victims?"

Chloe smiles and reaches up to tap a finger against Beca's nose "Take me out"

"Can't I just…. take you in?" Beca smirks as the hand drops from her face, Chloe looks back at her with a raised eyebrow, but the smile was less amused now.

"Is that what you usually look for?"

The furrowed eyebrow enquiring look on Chloe's face makes Beca start worrying that she was on the verge of offending the girl now, which is weird, considering the girl isn't homophobic, maybe she's just...monogamous. "Well why waste time? I think you're hot, you think I'm hot. Lets get heated" Beca says with a shrug.

Chloe's eyes move down slightly, which Beca can only assume means the redhead is staring at her mouth. "I don't give it up that easy. Sorry, you're gonna have to try someone else" Chloe's eyes return to hers, sending her a quick wink before the redhead starts moving away.

Beca stands there confused as she watches Chloe walking away. The redhead basically rejected her, but winked as she did it. Does that mean she's actually rejected, or was that some kind of hard to get game. Either way, Beca can't afford to get too involved with chasing a girl.

Beca stands on the spot alone for a while, staring around at the group of people laughing with each other, just generally enjoying life. Something that Beca could never fake. Life is not _that_ great. Her eyes settle on Chloe, watching the redhead smiling and probably having a conversation about how amazing everything is. She really seems like the kind of girl that Beca isn't. Which is usually the kind of girl Beca goes for anyway, but the regret from coming on so strong was seeping into her brain. She actually wanted to apologize the longer she watches, which is rare, usually she keeps the game up until the girl gives in.

"Hey. Sorry I took so long. I had to find out where Aubrey got the Bella bus. How'd it go?" Jesse says as he joins Beca at her side and nods over at Chloe.

"What? How did what go? I wasn't doing anything" Beca turns away from Jesse to look at the redhead again. "I came on too strong" she admits. He'd get it out of her anyway.

"Isn't that your thing? How do _you_ come on too strong? Did you grab a boob?" Jesse huffs at himself as he watches Chloe as well.

"I didn't grab a boob. I just… whatever. Why the hell did you tell them I wanted to join?" Beca crosses her arms over her chest and turns slightly to stare at Jesse.

"Because, dude. You need to make some friends here. And this is a group of _girls_. Just your kind of thing"

"Yeah, except _not_ my kind of thing because I don't want to be stuck in a group of girls if I'm trying to get it on with one once. Once, being the key word here"

Jesse sighs loudly and moves his hands up to Beca's shoulders. "Imagine if you could actually have something real. That chemistry was there"

"There was no chemistry, Jesse. That was me just wanting to bang her" Beca brings her hands up and swipes at Jesse's hands, knocking them off her shoulders. "I can't do that again"

"That was three years ago, Beca. You need to give yourself a chance at happiness"

"Yeah. My happiness will come _after_ college. When I'm far, far away from my father" Beca turns her head to look over at the group of girls, or one girl imparticular. She stares at Chloe for a few moments before dropping her gaze to the ground and turning back to Jesse. "There's nothing there" then she turns away to start walking.

Jesse was at her side again not long after. "There's something there. Otherwise you wouldn't be so worried about it"

"I'm not worried, dude. I'm just not interested in having a girlfriend hanging off me all the time"

"Hanging off you all the time? Please. You know that isn't what you're afraid of"

"Whatever, dude" Beca falls silent, walking beside Jesse until they reach her dorm building and say their goodbyes. She wasn't _mad_ at Jesse. He was right, but he always tried to change her mind about her stance on girlfriends whenever she even slightly showed an interest in a girl.

When Beca starts her nightly attempt at mixing, her mind was clouded in thoughts of Chloe for some reason, keeping her distracted from the songs. She couldn't even channel it _into_ a mix. She just kept going over and over the scenario, changing it every time in her mind and trying to figure out what she actually wanted. Thinking of bringing the redhead back here for one night _was_ hot, but then she'd have to devise a whole plan to take this girl out on dates and then break up with her fast. Which makes her a giant dick. But at least she'd have had Chloe.

As she leans back in her chair and stares up at the wall, she starts to go over the break up part of her scenario. The good one being Chloe totally understands and is in agreement. The bad one being Chloe hates her guts and ends up telling _everyone_ that Beca used her for sex, which ends in her father finding out and murdering her in her sleep. Plus, she actually doesn't want to see Chloe cry. Which is a scary thought when she's only said about three words to the girl. Although going over endless scenarios in which Beca beds and leaves this girl isn't any less weird.

Beca sighs loudly and looks down at her taskbar on the laptop, seeing a Facebook notification, which isn't blinking with a name and message. She reaches forward and clicks on the window, seeing a friend request notification. When she clicks on the section, she almost flies forward from the back of the chair.

 _Chloe Beale wants to add you to her friends list. Accept/Ignore_

"Dude" Beca clicks accept, then she realizes she needs to check her profile for _anything_ embarrassing. She gets two updates in when the message window pops up at the bottom

 _Chloe Beale 22:12_  
 _I'm glad you didn't ignore me for stalking._

Beca takes her hand off the mouse and looks around the room at nothing, she just really needed to make sure she wasn't going insane and hallucinating. When she looks back at the screen, the message is still there. "Okay.."

 _Beca Mitchell 22:14_  
 _I only ignore the unattractive stalkers._  
 _Chloe Beale 22:14_  
 _You're so shallow_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:14_  
 _Would you accept a friend request from a creepy old guy with no teeth?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:14_  
 _Maybe, a lot of my family members are old men with no teeth. Are you saying my family are ugly?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:16_  
 _Ah…. no. I'm not. I was really just trying to say you're attractive. Sorry._  
 _Chloe Beale 22:16_  
 _Shallow and gullible._  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:16_  
 _Thank god. I was about to crap myself._  
 _Chloe Beale 22:16_  
 _Ew. That's not so attractive. What are you doing up so late?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:16_  
 _This is my afternoon. I'm always up late, mixing inspiration only hits me at night, so I just kinda became an owl. Why are YOU up late?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:19_  
 _I've been fighting the urge to add you._  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:19_  
 _Is that so? Why the fight?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:19_  
 _Well my good side is telling me not to give in to you, but my bad side really wants to._  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:20_  
 _Please tell me this means your bad side won_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:20_  
 _I should probably go to sleep_  
 _It's late_  
 _I'll let you know when I figure it out ;)_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:20_  
 _Are you in bed right now?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:20_  
 _Yes?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:20_  
 _Where are your hands?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:21_  
 _Seriously?_  
 _Do you like making people uncomfortable?_

Beca leans back into her chair and clucks her tongue at the message. She needs to consider her next move carefully. If she pisses Chloe off, there goes every chance of getting Chloe in the sack.

 _Beca Mitchell 22:23_  
 _I'm sorry, I'm not really used to girls of your level talking to me_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:23_  
 _My level?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:23_  
 _You're kinda out of my league_  
 _That shallow thing again._  
 _Can't help it, but you're seriously A+ and I'm more like C-_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:23_  
 _You're A+ to me. Until you turn into a douche, then I'm not so sure I even want to talk to you._

"Fuck. Way to go"

 _Beca Mitchell 22:24_  
 _Okay. I'm sorry, seriously. I'll tone it down._  
 _Chloe Beale 22:24_  
 _Thanks_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:24_  
 _Favorite song?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:24_  
 _That's impossible._  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:24_  
 _Never heard that one, who sings it?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:24_  
 _LOL dork! I have too many favorite songs._  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:24_  
 _Give me anything to work with here?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:25_  
 _JoJo's Save my Soul, it came out not too long ago and it's amaaazing_  
 _I really do need to sleep now, Aubrey's going to be pissed if I don't wake up early_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:25_  
 _Is that your girlfriend?_  
 _Chloe Beale 22:25_  
 _You think I'd add you after you totally hit on me if I had a girlfriend? Is that something you would do?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:25_  
 _I would not, no. I just figured I'd make sure._  
 _Chloe Beale 22:25_  
 _She's my best friend. The blonde from tonight, again, you'd know this if you paid attention._  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:26_  
 _You're really distracting, seriously. You're gorgeous, I couldn't look away._  
 _Chloe Beale 22:27_  
 _See, that was nice. I like nice compliments, not gross ones._  
 _Goodnight, Beca_  
 _Beca Mitchell 22:27_  
 _Night._

"Score one for me." Beca smiles to herself and clicks over to YouTube to find Chloe's song, then immediately download it and shove it into a mix somehow. Only when it starts, Beca starts to wonder why this song was something Chloe had as a favorite, and if the redhead was trying to tell her something. Still. Beca was going to put it into a mix, as soon as she figures out a good song to mix it with.

 _Beca Mitchell 02:13_  
 _My Kind of Love will Save Your 3_

Beca sits back in her chair, staring at the sent audio file. She ended up deciding on mixing it with Emili Sande's My Kind of Love to challenge the depressing side of JoJo's song. Only now she thinks that was a little much. But she can't exactly delete the message. She taps her finger against the desk a few times and decides to close the window instead of freaking out about nothing. It was just a song. Just a song that will likely get her laid. Just laid and nothing else.

Beca opens the window again and clicks onto Chloe's profile. Then she stares at the profile picture for way too long and starts clicking through the pictures folders. She was now officially a creep, because she was smiling at Chloe's pictures.

* * *

Beca's head snaps up from the desk with a sharp breath in, then she looks around the room and back at her laptop, which was still on Chloe's page. She had fallen asleep going through the previous updates. Which involved way too many a-capella themed statuses. Her heart nearly stops when she sees the blue message with Chloe's name.

 _Chloe Beale 08:26_  
 _That….is really good! Oh my god. Did you make that?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 08:57_  
 _Yeah. You're welcome._  
 _Chloe Beale 08:57_  
 _You're up early for an owl. Thank you, by the way. That is seriously amazing!_

Beca looks down at the time and groans "No wonder I feel like I'm fucking dead"

 _Beca Mitchell 08:57_  
 _I just realized the time…. I fell asleep mixing songs. I do that sometimes. I'll talk to you later, I need my beauty sleep. Unless you feel like coming over?_  
 _Chloe Beale 08:57_  
 _You are quite persistent, Becs. Goodnight/morning_  
 _Beca Mitchell 08:58_  
 _lol… Had to try. Night, again._  
 _Chloe Beale 08:58_  
 _;)_

"Now what the hell does that mean?" Beca considers replying again, but closes out of everything and turns her laptop off, then she actually gets ready for bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chloe puts her phone back into her bag after messaging Beca and looks up at Aubrey as she talks to the girls. She did _want_ to pay attention, but she was really trying to decide whether or not she should pursue a friends with benefits situation with Beca. There was something about the brunette that made her want to know more. Or maybe it was because Beca was relentlessly trying to get her into bed. It was good to feel wanted, but she's already done the friends with benefits thing before and it was just so...boring. Boring and lonely, they're only ever there for one thing. There was no going out and holding hands and just being together.

"Chloe!" Chloe's head snaps up to Aubrey yelling at her. "Will you pay attention please? The costumes?" Chloe stands up quickly and rushes over to the bag near the whiteboard, unzipping it and taking out one of the blazers, a shirt and a skirt, then she turns around and tries to hold them all up at once, getting a loud sigh from Aubrey when she drops the shirt while trying to hold it under the blazer.

Chloe decides to just set the costume up laying on the floor instead, then smiles proudly at Aubrey and walks back to her chair. Aubrey stares at her for a moment with narrowed eyes before continuing the talk. Which is when Chloe zones out again.

She doesn't _mind_ friends with benefits. It's fun for a while, but she actually likes talking to Beca. Or so far anyway. They haven't really had much of a chance to really talk. And then there's the chance that Beca's not even suited for her at all, which is something Chloe was going to have to figure out. She reaches into her bag again to find her phone, leaving it hidden inside the bag so Aubrey doesn't freak out.

 _Chloe Beale 09:14_  
 _Do you maybe want to hang out later?_

When she turns the screen off and was just about to drop her phone, the notification light starts blinking at her, when she turns it back on, she smiles to herself.

 _Beca Mitchell 09:14_  
 _Yes yes, and some more yes. No funny stuff though. Keep those mitts to yourself._  
 _Chloe Beale 09:14_  
 _LOL Keep your filthy paws off my silky draws. Would you pull that crap with Annette?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 09:14_  
 _Wtf_  
 _Chloe Beale 09:14_  
 _Grease?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 09:15_  
 _Oh. Yeah, not that big on movies_  
 _You can educate me on it later. Now ssh I'm trying to sleep._

"Chloe! Jesus!"

Chloe sighs loudly and drops her phone into the bag, then she stands up "What, Bree?"

"Oh, so nice to actually see you. We're having a Bella meeting right now, maybe you're unaware" Aubrey starts waving an arm around and being dramatic, causing Chloe to turn her head away and wait for the mini-hissy fit to end. "Will you pay attention? Please."

Chloe huffs and moves forward to the blonde, standing at her side and turning towards the group, when she catches Amy's eye, she almost cracks up at the Australian making a jerking off hand movement and pointing at Aubrey.

* * *

Chloe was actually _nervous_. She only ever gets nervous before competitions, but this was just a hang out session. There was nothing to be nervous about. She's been standing outside Beca's dorm room for about three minutes already, trying to work up the courage to knock.

"What's the hold up?" Chloe spins around and finds Beca standing behind her and smirking back at her.

Chloe smiles softly and huffs at her stupid hesitation "I was just… I didn't really give you a time, I wasn't sure if you were in"

"Well I am now" Beca moves toward her and glances down at her lips before moving around her and unlocking the door before swinging it open and nodding sideways at the open door.

Chloe takes the hint and walks into the room slowly, swallowing the growing lump in her throat as she looks around. There was only one bed in the room and the desk had a laptop on it, which must be where Beca fell asleep this morning. The room was hardly decorated, it wasn't very homey at all. Chloe walks over and sits down on the bed.

"Interesting that you'd go right to the bed" Beca huffs out a laugh and walks across the room to sit down on the desk chair, all while keeping a stare on Chloe. Which didn't help her nerves at all.

"You're supposed to not do that" Chloe says with a twitch of her eyebrow before she continues scanning the room for any sign of personality.

"Right. Yes. So how's the singing going?" Beca asks, when Chloe's eyes move back over, the brunette is staring back at her body, probably disinterested in anything she even has to say.

"Well Aubrey hired Mike Tyson to come in and sing with us, but then he punched me and things just got a little hectic" Chloe smiles when Beca's eyes return to her, the brunette's expression was just complete confusion. "Just checking to see if you were paying attention rather than just staring at my bits"

"I was not staring at your bits. I was admiring the outfit"

"It's just a plain old dress. You missed me in my workout stuff" Chloe kicks her legs out off the bed and drops them again as she smiles over at the brunette.

"Oh man. I would cut off my left arm to have seen that" Beca smiles back at her and leans forward on the chair. "When do I get to see you in your workout gear?"

"When you sing for us and join the Bellas. You can see me in my workout gear _every_ practise"

"Yeah? Give me a song"

Chloe bites her lip and turns her head up to look at the wall while she thinks "I choose… Ain't No Sunshine" When she looks back at Beca, the brunette starts moving forward with the chair, stopping in front of her.

" _Ain't no sunshine when she's gone"_ Beca starts singing, which makes Chloe's heart skip a beat right away, sending it into a fast pace " _It's not warm when she's away"_ Chloe's eyes drop down to her lap, finding Beca's hands on her knees. " _Ain't no sunshine when she's gone"_ Then they start moving up, and Chloe furrows her brow slightly. " _Any she's always gone too long"_ Chloe watches Beca's hands moving further up, hitting the hem of her dress. " _Anytime she goes away"_

Chloe's hands spring forward to grab Beca's wrists, stopping them from travelling further, then she joins in on the song, harmonizing with Beca " _Wonder this time where she's gone.. wonder if she's gone to stay"_ Then she starts pushing Beca's hands back down to her knees " _Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and this house just ain't no home. Any time she goes away"_

Silence takes over the room for a few minutes after they finish singing together, then Chloe looks over at the door and pushes Beca's hands off her knees "I should probably go"

"But you just got here" Beca says, leaning forward to put hands on either side of Chloe in an attempt at blocking her in.

Chloe raises her eyebrow at Beca "You're doing that thing again. Where you go full steam ahead and don't care about how uncomfortable I am"

Beca leans back quickly, actually looking stunned by her slight rejection. "You're right. Sorry. I just..I get too far ahead of myself, I guess."

"Is that how you always get girls?"

"Yeah, pretty much"

Chloe nods and considers running out the door again.

"But you're kinda different, I guess"

Then Chloe doesn't want to run. At least not right now. Her eyes meet Beca's again "Why am I different? If this is some kind of… non-monogamous person thinks she's met the one, and then ends up cheating with like ninety people, I'm not here for that"

"I'm not...non-monogamous. I just can't...relationships are a lot easier when it's just sex" Beca shrugs and stares at Chloe differently somehow, like it wasn't sexual for once. "You, though.. mean don't get me wrong, I would _love_ to sleep with you.. but I think maybe it's best if you just kinda...stayed..away"

Chloe retracts slightly, shocked by Beca's sudden change of heart. "What? Where did that come from?"

"I just think it's better for us both if you just stayed away from me" Beca stands up and wheels the chair back to the desk before turning back to face her. "You're cool and all, but if we're not gonna have sex, there's really no point"

Chloe would have slapped Beca if she hadn't seen the hesitation in Beca's face before she said the second part. She stays seated as she stares up at the brunette "I know I just met you, Beca and I shouldn't make assumptions about people, but… you're not telling the truth right now"

Beca inhales deeply and turns away to look out the window. "Or it is the truth and you're just not worth the trouble"

Every word Beca says seems to just go through one ear and out the other, nothing was sticking, nothing was hurting. It was a weird feeling to be completely insulted and know that it means nothing at all. Chloe stands up and takes the few steps over to Beca, putting her hand on the brunette's forearm "Lets just...take all the pressure off and hang out. Stop being a twit"

Beca huffs out a laugh and looks back at her with a smile "Okay… you're right. No pressure. I'm sorry"

"I know you didn't mean it" Chloe smiles softly and turns to look down at the laptop "So, Grease?"

"Do we have to?"

"Yes!" Chloe reaches forward and presses the power button on the laptop, when she looks back at Beca, the brunette was staring down at her hand like it was a rubix cube. "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Just thinking about how ridiculous this movie is gonna be" Beca reaches around her side to pick up the laptop and move over to the bed.

Chloe follows and crawls onto the bed to sit next to the brunette navigating to Netflix and finding the movie. As soon as it started, Beca gave her a look that says 'I would rather be dead' and makes her laugh and nudge arms with the brunette.

Halfway through and she's leaning her head on Beca's shoulder and fighting to stay awake. She was really hating Aubrey for making her run extra laps for being an ass earlier.

When Chloe opens her eyes again, she finds herself lying down underneath the covers. She tilts her head up to follow the light source in the dark room and finds Beca wearing headphones and staring at her laptop screen and clicking away at it. Beca in her element was so different, she seemed so calm and less...erratic with her moods, which Chloe can only chalk up to Beca's insecurities. Chloe rolls onto her stomach and props herself up on her elbows to watch the brunette working, staring down at the slow moving lips to the lyrics of a song, then at the fingers tapping lightly against the desk.

The whole process seemed to take Beca forever before it was all finished and the brunette actually snapped back into reality. Chloe was still staring at her, which Beca still hadn't noticed, and didn't notice until the headphones were off. Beca had just set them onto the table and turned towards her, catching her stare. "Jesus" Beca almost jumped out of her skin, causing Chloe to smirk and move down to rest the side of her head on the pillow. "You scared the crap out of me"

"Sorry Becs. How long was I asleep?" Chloe looks up at Beca moving over to the side of the bed and start crawling over her to lay down on the other side of the bed. Chloe turns her head the other way to stare at Beca.

"Not long. Like five hours or something"

"Five? Oh my god" Chloe shifts onto her side to face her body towards Beca and smiles widely "Wanna play a game?"

"No? It's like three in the morning, I wanna sleep"

Chloe sighs and pouts, trying not to smile when she could see Beca giving in. "Just one?"

"Okay fine. One. What game?"

"Twenty-One Questions. First one - Cats or dogs?"

Beca smiles with a shaking head "Dogs"

Chloe smiles widely and perks up slightly "Favorite colour?"

"Black. Duh. You have to answer these too, you know"

"I can't choose though. I love dogs _and_ cats. And colors are so hard to choose. I really am starting to like black though" Chloe glances down at Beca's shirt as she moves her hand up to poke Beca's stomach gently.

"Well I'm glad you're turning over to the _dark_ side"

"You're a dork. Okay… next one.. What do you wanna be when you grow up?" Chloe leaves her hand on the bed in front of Beca's stomach, although the urge to move it forward and touch the brunette was greater when it's left there.

"A music producer. You?"

"Um.. I don't really know yet. But I like the idea of being a teacher, or maybe even a C.E.O. of a giant company so I can buy _everything_." Chloe pokes the brunette's stomach again, dropping it back onto the bed for her next question "Beach or woods?"

"Uh.. woods. I burn easy. I'm guessing you're a beach girl"

"I totally am! Okay… what country would you love to visit most?"

"Country? I dunno… I really want to go to L.A. that's where I plan on ending up, so I'm sticking to that for now."

"I wanna to go everywhere.. there's so much to see" Chloe sighs with a hum and sucks her bottom lip into her mouth while she thinks."Would you rather be rich or famous?"

"Famous. Because fame generally comes with money"

"I'd rather be rich, all that fame is just too much. You never get any privacy"

Beca falls silent for a moment "You're right. I'm changing to rich"

Chloe smiles and moves her hand to press it against Beca's stomach "Okay, if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?"

"Um, my insensitiveness and anger"

Chloe moves her hand up to Beca's side and smiles softly. "I'd get bigger boobs"

Beca laughs and looks down at Chloe's chest, for a little longer than needed. Chloe moves her hand to smack it against the brunette's arm. "Sorry, I was just assessing the problem. Which there isn't one, you have perfect boobs"

"Oh shush. You're just saying that because you wanna touch them"

"Please let the next question be 'Will you touch my boobs?'" Beca laughs again when Chloe's hand smacks against the brunettes arm again.

"What do you think is the sexiest thing about yourself?"

"Sexiest? Really?" Beca raises an eyebrow and sighs before giving her answer "I guess… the sexiest thing about me is…my music knowledge"

Chloe snorts and shoves her hand against Beca's stomach, moving the brunette back slightly "I mean physically"

"Yeah, nothing"

"There must be something. I can think of like ten things right off the bat that I find sexy on you"

"Give me some examples then, maybe I'll agree"

"You just want me to feed your ego" Chloe looks down at her hand against Beca's stomach as her fist closes around the material on Beca's shirt.

"It'll make me feel better" Beca smirks and drops a hand on top of Chloe's, sending the redhead's eyes down to stare at their hands.

"I like… your eyes" Chloe looks up from their hands into Beca's eyes "They're dark and really attractive. And your lips "Chloe's eyes move to Beca's mouth, then down to Beca's chest "And those" Beca laughs at her softly, then Chloe's eyes move to Beca's hand over hers "And then you have sexy moments where you _genuinely_ compliment me and seem like you really do like me"

Beca falls silent and moves the hand away from Chloe's, leaving her hand pressed against Beca's stomach. "What else?"

Chloe drops her hand onto the bed in disappointment. "I like the way you look at me when you don't think I'm a piece of meat that you can just screw and leave" Chloe sits up on the bed and sighs. "I don't know why you're so adamant about treating people like your personal.." Chloe takes a deep breath and stops herself before she lets her anger take over. "I'm not going to let you fuck me and leave me. So if all you plan on doing is treating me like that, then you might as well just... just tell me now"

Beca's hand touches her back and starts stroking back and forth "In the spirit of being completely honest..I got used to doing it over the last few years, it isn't something I like doing, but I need to"

"Why?" Chloe turns her head to look back at Beca, finding the brunette's serious face mixed with sadness.

"Because… I'm not good at trusting people" Beca looks away as soon as she starts talking, telling Chloe that the brunette was once again lying to her, but maybe there was a good reason for it.

"What happened to make you feel like that?" Chloe figured that question was a mistake when Beca's expression changed to a more steely gaze.

"I just met you"

Chloe turns her head back to look down at her lap. "I know. I'm sorry, that was stupid of me"

"I won't fuck you" Beca says, when Chloe turns to look back, the brunette stares back at her, seeming serious. "You're actually not what I expected"

"What did you expect?"

"Uh… I better not say" Beca smirks and tugs on the back of Chloe's dress "Come back"

After turning her head forward slightly and swallowing the lump in her throat, Chloe lays down onto her back, turning her head to the side to stare at the brunette. "Tell me"

"I just thought you would be this...crazy ditzy girl who would show up here and let me rock her world" Beca smiles when Chloe snorts and shoves her hand against the brunette's shoulder.

"You have the worst ego ever, don't you?" Chloe leaves her hand against Beca's shoulder for a few moments before a silence sets in between them while they stare at each other. "I can't figure you out"

"I'm trying to figure you out, the things that make you smile. Sometimes I just...step a little too far with the flirting"

"A little? You go from like… 'you look really nice today', to 'man I would hit that harder than the Big Bang'" Chloe smacks her hand against Beca's shoulder when the brunette snorts at her. "Shut up, you do"

"I wish I thought of that line. I mean you would have just fallen right in bed with me if I did, right?"

"Oh totally. You really missed out by not thinking of that yourself" Chloe smiles and moves her hand back from Beca, dropping it onto her own stomach. "But.."

"I know. But it works, the hardcore come ons"

"Yeah, they do"

Beca raises an eyebrow at Chloe and makes her turn away "But that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything. I'm not interested in being your fuckbuddy, Beca"

"Are you sure?"

Chloe turns back, furrowing her eyebrows "Don't do that."

"Don't do what? You just said it was working on you, so I could just…" Beca's hand finds its way onto Chloe's stomach, brushing her hand before it starts moving downward. Chloe's breath hitches and her arm moves quickly to stop Beca's hand.

"We can have sex, Beca….but that means you'll never see me again after"

Beca's hand stays still on her lower stomach for a few moments before it starts moving back and falls off her body. "Okay"

"Okay…" Chloe shifts onto her side, facing Beca and smiles softly "You can sleep now"

Beca huffs out a small laugh "Roll over"

"If you say you're about to take me up the butt, I swear to god"

Beca's laugh was louder this time, then there were hands on Chloe's body, pushing her and turning her to face the room. Chloe's eyes close as soon as Beca's body was against hers, her arm moving up slightly to grab Beca's arm snaking over her side. She hugs it to her chest and sighs softly.

Chloe smiles when the brunette settles into the position and breathes out against the back of her neck. She just hopes that this means Beca will be less inclined to hide behind her fake persona, because she could see herself in Beca's arms a lot.

Chloe waits a while until she could hardly hear Beca's sleeping breaths, then she rolls onto her back and turns to look at the brunette asleep. After admiring Beca's face for moments, she found a faded line across Beca's jaw line. Her fingers trace the line gently, it was definitely a scar, Beca must have tried to cover it up with makeup.

Chloe shifts onto her side so she can lean up and press her lips onto the scar, when she moves back, Beca's eyes are open, and now she regrets that decision. "Sorry" she whispers, laying back down onto her side.

Beca stares for a moment before falling back to sleep. Chloe smiles softly, wondering if Beca was even aware of what just happened.


	3. Chapter 3

Beca wakes up, then springs up to sit up in the bed and look around the room. Chloe was gone. "Fuck" she gets up quickly, grabbing her phone from the bed as she runs over the previous night to figure out what she'd done wrong. A lot of things, apparently, but it ended on a good note, or so she thought. They were _cuddling_ for fuck sake. Beca hasn't done that in a long ass time, and she can't even think about Chloe touching her laptop.

 _Chloe Beale 07:42_  
 _I didn't want to wake you, sorry I had to leave. Aubrey makes me go running in the morning._

:"Oh thank fuck. Still in"

 _Beca Mitchell 11:58_  
 _I hope you took pictures of yourself after you ran. Send please._  
 _Chloe Beale 12:03_  
 _LOL No! Perv. If you wanna see me sweaty, you're gonna have to get me sweaty_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:03_  
 _Jesus.. I thought you were trying NOT to get me in the mood_  
 _Chloe Beale 12:03_  
 _That's all on you. I'm perfectly capable of considering you more than just a bangbuddy_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:05_  
 _And I'm not? I can definitely think of you as more than a bangbuddy_  
 _Chloe Beale 12:05_  
 _Prove it._  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:05_  
 _I'll spoon you after the sex. It'll be totally romantic._  
 _Chloe Beale 12:06_  
 _LOL omg Beca, you're so never going to get me in bed_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:06_  
 _Believe me, Beale. If I wanted to, I would have had you already._  
 _Chloe Beale 12:09_  
 _Do you regret your decision last night?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:09_  
 _Not in the slightest._  
 _I'd take spooning you over sexing you any day._  
 _Chloe Beale 12:09_  
 _I totally don't believe you. I bet you can't wait to get up on this._  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:09_  
 _Are you saying you plan on letting me get up on that?_  
 _Chloe Beale 12:10_  
 _Ssh. Practise._  
 _;)_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:10_  
 _I see you're going to try using that as an excuse. Wanna come over tonight?_  
 _Chloe Beale 12:11_  
 _For what?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:11_  
 _You only asked be 8 questions last night. Still have another 13 to go. Then we can watch another one of your horrible movies so you can fall asleep on me again. I promise nothing more._  
 _Chloe Beale 12:11_  
 _Okay! Dinner?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:12_  
 _I'll grab some takeout_  
 _Chloe Beale 12:12_  
 _What, you can't actually be seen with me out in public?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 12:15_  
 _Yeah, I can I just thought it would be nicer to be just us._  
 _Chloe Beale 12:15_  
 _Just thought of my 9th question for you. See you tonight._

* * *

Beca spent the whole afternoon paranoid over this one question that Chloe has for her. Each possible one that she comes up with was worse than the last. Pretty soon she ended up trying to think of ways to talk around the topic of her parents.

She did _want_ to trust Chloe, even though she literally just met the girl. There was something about Chloe that just screams good person. Because Chloe _is_ a good person. She's not at all like the type of girls at her high school who lived to torture. Chloe was just genuinely happy, and happy to be genuine. Jesse was like that too. Maybe she should just think of Chloe as Jesse, ew. Gross. No.

The knock on the door pulls Beca from her thought process, then she looks down at the time, it was only 6pm. When she gets to the door and pulls it open, Chloe's standing on the other side in a blue dress that rips Beca's breath right out of her body and throws it into space.

"So...I know I'm early and you don't want to go _out_ with me" Chloe lifts up plastic bags, something that Beca hardly even acknowledges as her eyes move back up the dress. "I thought I'd be nice and bring the date to you" When Beca's eyes reach Chloe's, there was nothing but an amused grin on the redhead's face. "Not interested?"

"I thought… this was a friendly night" Beca has an overwhelming urge to kick herself in the shin when the grin fades from Chloe's face. "I mean. I'm all for the date thing, but it's… it's gonna be hard to focus.. with all that" Beca waves her hand up and down towards the dress.

"I was kinda hoping you'd dress up too and we could just… talk"

"I haven't dated in a long time. I'm.. I'll say something bad and you'll get annoyed and it'll just be a horrible thing" Beca steps aside when Chloe sighs and moves forward at her, handing over the bags of food.

"Shush. If you say something inappropriate I'll just smack you" Beca's eyes follow Chloe into the room, her nerves settle slightly when the redhead sits down on her desk chair and spins to look at her. An eyebrow raising as if she's waiting for Beca to do or say something. A few moments pass before the grin returns "Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna go get changed and feed me?"

"You're… Okay." Beca moves across the room to put the bags down onto the desk, pushing her laptop and headphones across to the wall.

"What were you gonna say?"

Beca looks down at Chloe, then over at the bags again so she can start pulling the containers out and avoid that "Nothing, just gonna say you're hot"

"Well I hope one day you can actually be _honest_ with me"

Beca smiles slightly and stops to turn around and face her body to Chloe's "Okay. I was going to say you're exactly what I needed. But...don't let that feed your ego. We know you've got a big one"

Chloe laughs softly and stands up from the chair, putting their bodies way too close together. Beca catches her breath in her throat and holds it when Chloe's mouth opens "Oh it's huge."

"We're still talking about your ego, right?" Beca's heart felt like it could burst from her chest at any second, her gaze drops down, which was a bad move because Chloe's cleavage is right there. Her eyes move up to the corner of the room where it meets the ceiling.

"Go get changed, perv" Chloe says quietly with a poke to Beca's stomach. Beca nods quickly and spins around to her wardrobe, walking across the room to start sorting through everything.

"I really… didn't come prepared for dating. I don't… even have anything that's on your level" Beca slides a few shirts across and feels Chloe against her back. She shouldn't have come on so strong, now Chloe is seriously throwing herself at Beca now. An arm moves out in front of her and takes a plaid shirt off the hanger.

"Put this on and come and eat" Chloe says in a whisper. Right against Beca's ear. She takes the shirt from the redhead and turns her head slightly when Chloe moves away back to the desk.

After Beca pulls the shirt on, she turns around to look at Chloe, who was staring back at her with a smile. A smile that doesn't say 'Come over here and eat me instead'. It just looks warm, inviting in a not dirty way.

"You look really nice in that shirt" Chloe says before sitting up straighter "Do you want the question now or after we eat?"

"Oh god. I forgot about that" Beca moves across the room and flips the lid up off one of the containers. "Ask me now. Might as well just...get it out there"

"Well… I just wanted to know.. if you're in the closet" Chloe leans forward to pick up one of the plastic forks as Beca stares down into the container. That would be one of the hard questions to answer, it was never just a simple 'yes or no'

"Yeah, I guess. Jesse knows, and obviously the girls I… liked" Beca pulls the container closer and turns her head slightly to glance at the redhead, it was obvious she wanted to ask further questions, so Beca tries. For once, to open up to someone without being pushed. "My father isn't good with it, or he's like super not good with it. So I just.. can't put it out there, not until I leave college and go to L.A."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But now I actually understand you more. I don't exactly live a very undercover life, I'm horrible at hiding my real feelings for people. But… if you're okay with it, maybe we can keep getting to know each other more? I will try my best to act..not into you around your father"

"I can't do that again. I mean not… I can't date" Beca turns back to the food and taps her fingers against the desk before she moves away to the middle of the room "This isn't gonna work out in your favor, Chloe. I'm going to do everything to sabotage us and then you're going to end up hurt and hating me. And that's only if we _don't_ get caught out by my father"

Chloe was watching her as she moves back and forth in a pace through the room. "What happened the last time?"

"God, you're so nosy. What's up with that? Why can't you just accept that all I want to do is fuck you and move on?" Beca stops pacing to turn to Chloe, she felt bad as soon as Chloe looked down at the floor. "If you don't, I'll just find someone that will"

"No, you won't" Chloe says while staring down into the carpet. Beca sighs loudly

"Yeah. I will. And you think I'd date you and not fuck around on you? Please." Beca stares over at the wall, which is a lot easier than seeing Chloe's hurt face.

"I know that you don't mean that." Chloe stands up and moves towards her, stopping in front of her. Beca feels the redhead's hands on her sides, making her eyes close.

"You _don't_ want to get involved with me" Beca's warnings go completely unheard when she feels Chloe's lips against her cheek.

"Yes I do. And you can pretend all you want that you don't want me to. I see right through it" Chloe's thumb rubs the spot on her cheek that was just kissed. Beca opens her eyes to Chloe and instead of making a move to kiss the redhead, she nods. "So let's just calm down and have something to eat. We don't have to talk about anything that you don't want to, okay?"

"How do you see when I'm bullshitting?"

"You aren't exactly subtle when it comes to switching personalities. And then after the first mean thing, you look at something other than me. Which I'm guessing is because you feel bad." Chloe smiles and moves back to the desk, picking up one of the containers before she sits down.

Beca walks across the room to pick up the other container and sits down on her bed, holding it on her lap and staring over at the redhead who was chewing "So you're out?"

"Well I was never really _in_. I don't really care about judgers. If I'm in love, I'm in love."

"So you've been in love before?" Beca pokes at the pork in the container and plays with it instead of eating it.

"Yeah, of course. Have you not been in love?"

"Nope"

"It'll get you when you least expect it" Chloe says, Beca looks up from the pork and catches the redhead's smile.

"So I hear" Beca stares for a moment, letting her mind linger on thoughts of having something real enough with Chloe to fall in love. Which is a horrible idea, so she returns her gaze back down, finally lifting the pork to her mouth.

* * *

The next movie that Chloe ends up choosing for them to watch is the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which is apparently another musical, and apparently _extremely_ gay. The longer Beca watched it, the more gay she felt, which is quite an achievement considering she's pretty much the gayest person ever. It also helped raise the gay when Chloe's fingertip started drawing on the back of her hand. Beca had put it on Chloe's leg with no intention of moving it up at all. Which was getting harder to control by the second, but she keeps it still. Her mind though, that was going everywhere.

"Do you like it?" Chloe whispers, Beca turns her head to look at the redhead and moving back when there was only an inch between them.

"It's… something. I'm getting through it, and you're still awake, so it can't be the worst thing" Beca swallows hard and turns back to the screen, there was almost a foot between them now, and her hand had moved off Chloe to rest on the bed between them.

Chloe's hand covers hers on the bed, and Beca's eyes move down to look at them. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah it's fine. I'm not gonna just…. bowl you over and eat your face off" Beca clears her throat and shifts uncomfortably on the bed. Her gaze moves back to the screen.

The rest of the movie was watched in silence with Chloe's hand over Beca's, keeping her mind anchored in thoughts of where it was going to lead, and why she's not going to let it actually happen. "So I should probably go" Chloe says, the hand moves off hers as the redhead starts shifting forward and standing up.

"Really? Why? Did I do something?" Beca lifts her laptop and puts it on the bed before she gets up to stand in front of the smiling redhead

"No, you didn't do anything at all, and that's _great_. I just have an early morning and you kinda kept me up late last night"

"I didn't keep you up, you fell asleep and then woke up all by yourself, okay" Beca smiles and pats her hands against the sides of her legs nervously "So… can we hang out again?"

"Yeah, definitely. Whenever you want"

"Whenever I want? So if I say now.."

Chloe laughs softly with a head shake "Not right now. It has to be a reasonable hour"

"So no booty-call hours. Got it. I don't wanna give off the wrong impression. Tomorrow? Same time? I might even find a better outfit" Beca feels her smile growing wider when Chloe beams at her.

"That'd be awesome. So I'll see you tomorrow, Six?"

"Six" Beca walks behind Chloe as they move towards the door, then she holds it open while the redhead walks out "Um… can I.." Chloe turns back to her and she almost feels like she was going to choke on her own nerves "Kiss... your cheek?" Beca swallows, at Chloe's surprised expression.

"I'd like that" Chloe's surprise turns into a smile, and Beca steps forward out the door, checking the corridor for people before she moves forward quickly to press her lips against the redhead's cheek, which ends in her freezing in the close her eyes. Chloe starts moving back slowly and her eyes open and drop down to the redhead's lips when they move apart and stop close together.

Beca inhales deeply and pulls herself from the moment, moving backwards and looking up at Chloe, before nodding at the redhead "So have a good night"

Chloe smiles at her and pokes her in the stomach before the redhead winks and starts walking. Leaving Beca to exhale and move back into her room. She was in deep shit and she knows it. She can't let herself fall for this girl, but the wheels are already in motion, so she needs to think fast.

She moves across the room and pulls her laptop back to the edge of the desk to find any and every misogynistic sexual song so she can blast it into her head and convince herself that it's real life. And it works well enough, she closes her eyes and tries to imagine sex with Chloe, only she ends up not running out in the fantasy. Her eyes open and she sighs, frustrated, then forces the fantasy to end how she needs it to.

Her eyes move down to the flashing window of Facebook telling her she has a message. From Chloe. "Great" she mutters as she clicks on the window to expand it.

 _Chloe Beale 21:01_  
 _Thank you for being so perfect tonight_

"Thank you for fucking my shit up" Beca says out loud to herself.

 _Beca Mitchell 21:02_  
 _No problem. Thank you too._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:02_  
 _I'm excited for tomorrow_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:02_  
 _I'm excited for tonight._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:02_  
 _What's happening tonight?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:02_  
 _I'm going to be all over myself after seeing you in that dress._

Beca sits back and waits a minute, then more minutes. The message was seen by Chloe, but there was no reply. In the end, Beca sighs and reaches forward to the keys again

 _Beca Mitchell 21:08_  
 _I was kidding_  
 _Chloe?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:16_  
 _Look, I didn't mean to run you off, okay, it was just a stupid comment. I'm sorry._  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:25_  
 _I'm coming to your room._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:26_  
 _Wait wait. Beca, I was in the shower. Sorry, I left the window open._  
 _And even though that was incredibly dirty and inappropriate, you don't need to be sorry for it, I know you're trying._  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:26_  
 _Jesus, you scared the shit out of me, dude._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:26_  
 _LOL I know, I'm really sorry. How can I make it up to you?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:27_  
 _What are you wearing?_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:29_  
 _A towel_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:29_  
 _Well that's all I needed, thank you._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:31_  
 _LOL shut up. You're so pervy._  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:31_  
 _You told me you're in a towel….when you could have lied and made me less perverted. So I think it's really your fault here._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:32_  
 _I hope you don't victim blame, that's really gross._  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:32_  
 _What?_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:32_  
 _People blame rape victims for dressing provocatively and asking for it._  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:33_  
 _What the fuck? Did you just call me a fucking rapist?_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:33_  
 _OMG! No. Not at all, Beca. You just said it was my fault for telling you I was in a towel. I didn't mean it to sound like you're forcing yourself onto me, you aren't. You were super sweet when you asked to kiss my cheek. I think that was one of the sexiest things I've ever even encountered._  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:34_  
 _What was so sexy about it?_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:34_  
 _Really? It was just… sexy. I think that was the first time I seriously wanted to be with you._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:36_  
 _Sorry. Too much?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:36_  
 _You want to be with me?_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:37_  
 _I do, but it's going to take a while before we are, you don't trust me yet_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:37_  
 _So if I trusted you, you would be mine?_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:37_  
 _In the blink of an eye._  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:37_  
 _I trust you_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:38_  
 _LOL no you don't! It's okay though, I'm working on you ;)_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:38_  
 _Work a little harder, I want to kiss you. not just on the cheek._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:38_  
 _I hope that doesn't mean something dirty_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:39_  
 _I really want to kiss you... on the mouth. With no intention of fucking. The more time I spend with you, the more I hate you leaving. I WAS just about to try and get dirty though, but I see it now, you're under my skin already. And I'm sure I'll fuck it all up somehow, multiple times if you give me another chance. I want to be something to you, something more than just...sex, or just friends._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:40_  
 _But just… not out in the open. Which is going to be hard for me. Maybe we can talk about this tomorrow?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:40_  
 _Yeah, okay. Goodnight  
_

* * *

Embracing her feelings is always a difficult thing for Beca, she likes the idea of being with Chloe, and she knows there's something there, but then she wises up to reality. Being with Chloe was impossible for her, at least in the real way. She can't be _out_ with Chloe, and it'll only be a matter of time before the redhead gives up on her completely. Chloe's used to being out and proud and all that. Beca can't even fathom the idea of being out.

Beca was walking back from class in the afternoon, holding onto the strap of her shoulder bag. Jesse had been texting her all through the class about her last two nights with Chloe. And Beca had to talk her game up, saying that she's been having sex with the redhead and nothing more was going on. It wasn't often that she lied to Jesse, she hasn't lied since the last time her father decided she needed to be hit for disagreeing with him about Jesus loving everyone. Which she only said because he said a guy on TV was going to burn in hell for being an 'F' word. Apparently Jesus only loves _straight_ people.

Beca slows her pace down to a stop when she sees Chloe and her friends walking into a building. She wrestles with her mind before she starts walking again and losing the battle with her hesitation. When she enters the place, it was some kind of gymnasium looking auditorium. The girls were in a group and mingling with each other, none of them had even noticed her standing and watching them talk.

Her eyes were fixated on Chloe, watching the way she smiled and talked, like she was so excited just to be able to converse with someone. Chloe had a way of making you feel like the most interesting person in the world by just showing a smiling interest. Only watching the way she talked to the girl in front of her started to push her into an angry mood. Chloe reaches out and touches the girl's arm and Beca clenches her jaw, was Chloe seriously hitting on someone?

"Can we help you?" Beca redirects her eyes to the blonde - Aubrey, a few feet away from her. "Are you here to actually audition?"

Beca turns her eyes back to Chloe, who was smiling back at her and approaching. Beca sighs loudly and looks back at the blonde "No I'm not. Just got lost" She starts backing up towards the door, keeping her eyes on Chloe following her out.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asks when they reach the double doors. Beca nods and turns away to finish her walk back to her dorm, stopping when she feels a hand on her arm. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing at all. I'm fine. I'll see you tonight, yeah?" Beca gives Chloe a fake smile and moves her arm away to walk. Chloe stays at the door, which she finds out when she looks back at the redhead and disappointing herself by doing it. She really needs to pull herself out of this crush.

* * *

Five O'clock rolls around fairly quickly, and Beca was on her way back from shopping for an outfit. In the end, she decided that instead of letting Chloe just move on to this other girl, she was going to actually take a stupid chance and show Chloe that she really could be normal, well mostly normal. She just had to make the night special somehow.

When she gets back into her dorm, she puts the shopping bags on the bed and turns one over, spilling out candles, 25 of them, to be exact. "Okay…" Beca scans the room and starts putting the candles on every solid surface she could find, a few on the desk, some on the ends of the bed, then on the window sill and replacing the books on the shelves with them.

After getting changed into her new outfit, black jeans, black t-shirt...black button down overshirt, she stares in the mirror at herself and starts seriously regretting her choice. "Fuck" She makes her way over to the closet and starts pulling through the shirts hanging, pulling off a grey button down shirt and swapping it for the black one, then makes her way back to the mirror. Only now it looks weird to have one light coloured shirt when everything else is black, so she goes back to the closet and changes the shirt for a dark grey plaid shirt mixed with light grey. Back to the mirror again. Shirt looks too messy. Closet. Red black and white plaid shirt. Mirror. Less messy, but still too messy. Closet. Dark grey vest. Mirror. Way too stupid with a t-shirt on. Closet.

Beca takes off the vest and puts it back on the hanger and sighs loudly, taking the black button-down back off the hanger and freezes when she hears a knock on the door. "Who is it?"

"Chloe, dork"

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck" she whispers as she rushes to the other side of the room to pick up the lighter she bought "Just a minute! One minute" She frantically sparks the lighter until it lights up and she can start lighting the candles, and it works well until she moves too fast and the lighter goes out. Every time she moves to the next candle "I swear I'm almost ready"

"That's fine. I have all night"

Beca huffs out a laugh to herself and moves across the room to the shelves, lighting each candle and moving slower between them. Then she stands in the middle of the room and looks around. It seems….romantic enough. She drops the lighter onto the desk and walks over to the door, opening it slowly and holding her breath.

"Wow" Chloe says, looking over Beca's shoulder. "What's all this for?"

"Uh… us. I guess" Beca shrugs and moves out of the way so Chloe can walk in. She waits a moment before she closes the door and takes the bags from Chloe, then moving over to the desk and putting them down after moving candles back.

"You did all this for us?" Chloe was still looking around when she looked back at the redhead.

"Yeah.. is it too stupid? It's too stupid right?" Beca leans forward quickly and blows out a candle, then she feels a hand on her arm and stands back up to look at Chloe and swallow her embarrassment.

"It's really nice, Becs. Don't worry" Chloe reaches past her to pick up the lighter and relight the candle. "You look beautiful, by the way" Chloe smiles at her and Beca looks down at her own clothes and then over at Chloe's perfect dress, and then up at her perfect hair. It would have been frustrating, had Chloe not been so good to look at.

"I've got nothing on you. You're really… gorgeous." Beca turns back to the food and flips the lid off a plastic container. "What is this?"

"It's red curry. I got it from the Thai place, do you not like Thai? We could… I could go get something else"

"No. No, Thai's good." Beca glances up at Chloe, who was still smiling at her. "So how was your day?" Beca asks as she pulls open the desk drawer and takes out bowls.

"It was good. Practise went well. Which you're missing out on, you should really join the Bella's. You'd be so good with us" Chloe starts playing with Beca's hair as she talks, sending goosebumps over her arms.

"I'll think about it" Beca smiles slightly and slides a bowl over on the desk towards Chloe before tipping the curry into the other bowl. "So… who was that girl you were talking to?"

"What girl?" Chloe's hand drops away to pick up the bowl. Beca watches the redhead move over to the bed and sit.

Beca turns back to the bowl and containers in front of her "That one in the auditorium, tall, hot, nice boobs" she stares down as she tips rice into the bowl, mostly because she wanted to seem busy, and she wouldn't have to see Chloe's face trying to think of a lie or something.

"Oh, that was Stacie. She's Bree's girlfriend. They've been together for like five or six months"

Beca looks up at the redhead and raises her eyebrows "Really? I didn't think Aubrey was… gay"

"Oh, she doesn't label herself. I think the only person who does is Cynthia, she's gay. Also Amy, she's straight. But all the other girls are just...free floating" Chloe smiles and points the fork towards Beca "Do you label yourself?"

"Yeah. Gay. Gay as hell, even. Just not around my father" Beca picks up the bowl and moves over to sit next to Chloe on the bed, turning her head to look over at the redhead "So… when you say everyone is unlabelled, does that mean you're…"

"I don't label myself" Chloe looks down to eat more, and Beca stares for a moment

"So.. you like guys as well" Beca's gaze drops down to the bowl in her lap. Too distracted by the fact she has to be jealous of guys as well now. It was hard enough to just let herself trust Chloe enough to _talk_ to her. Now she has to trust that the redhead won't start missing D.

"Is that a deal breaker?" Chloe asks, when Beca looks back up, the redhead was looking back at her, showing a concerned expression.

"When was the last time you...with a dude.."

"Is that something you need to know?"

"I dunno, I just… you like dick. I don't have a dick, how long until you start wanting the dick I don't have and then-"

"Beca. Seriously? You're freaking out because I like guys _as well_ as girls?" Chloe turns around and reaches the bowl over to put it on the desk, then does the same with Beca's bowl. When Chloe turns back to her, a sigh escapes the redhead that makes Beca look over at the wall. "Becs, you don't have to worry about me getting bored"

"Right. Because we aren't even a thing. You can really just… do whoever you want. Dick or no dick" Beca goes to stand and gets pulled back down by Chloe's hand on her arm.

"Do not talk to me like that. If I wanted to be anywhere else, I would be. You need to stop pushing me away so much, Beca. Because one day I _will_ be pushed away"

"Maybe I want that" Beca stares at a candle on the shelf across the room, trying to focus on the way the flame was moving instead of looking at Chloe.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Beca's heart feels like it drops a mile and she shakes her head slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on the candle.

"So talk to me about this"

"I don't.. have the right" Beca stands up and moves to the middle of the room before spinning around to look at Chloe "I don't get to be jealous of everyone you stare at because.. you aren't even mine. And yet I see you with someone, like that Sally girl-"

"Stacie"

Beca sighs when Chloe smiles slightly at her mistake "Stacie. I get… I got mad that you got to talk to her and touch her _outside_. Without feeling like this...secret. I got jealous of you touching her, and having the ability to touch her"

"Can't you just… be out around friends? We don't have to be in here every time we want to hang out"

"Yeah. We do." Beca looks over at the window sill, catching the reflection of the candle. "I can't go out and do the things you need me to do"

"Is your father really so bad with it that you can't even be near me outside?"

Beca takes a moment to stare out the window before she turns to the redhead and nods. "He's like.. the crazy religious guy who thinks the Old Testament is the law of the land. No homo."

"What about your mother?"

Beca's gaze drops to the floor, she feels the sadness rising, which is soon to be followed by her anger as a defense mechanism from her sadness. Her eyes close as she tries to control both of the rising emotions at once.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked"

Beca inhales deeply and exhales again. Then again when she feels her fists unclench. It takes her a few moments to open her eyes again and look at Chloe. "I have a step-mother. She's just as bad."

"So that thing you said yesterday, about the last time you dated, did you get caught by your parents?" Chloe looked hesitant as she asked the question, and Beca couldn't even feel angry at the prying.

"Yeah. My father" Beca holds onto the front of the shirt where the ends meet in the middle of her stomach. "I broke up with my ex pretty much right away. Never saw her again"

"She didn't understand that your father wasn't okay with you being gay?"

Beca exhales loudly and walks back to the bed to sit down next to Chloe. "It was a little more than that" When she looks over at Chloe, all she could see on the redhead's face was a question that didn't need to be asked. "His methods are extreme in teaching me what he thinks God wants"

"How extreme are we talking?" Chloe asks, Beca could almost see tears welling up in the redhead's eyes, so she looks away at the window again.

"He basically kicked my ass that day, usually it's less crazy. A few hits, locking me in rooms and stuff until I pray for hours and repent." Silence falls over them both, and Beca waits a while before she looks at Chloe, who looked a mix of confused and angry. "He just wants what's best fo-"

"Don't." Chloe stands up and freezes for a moment, then sits back down and looks back at Beca "Don't defend him" Beca looks down between them, actually feeling the shame of letting her father teach her in extreme ways. "Okay" Beca looks back up when Chloe starts talking again. "I get it now" Chloe turns back to look at her. "I want to punch him so bad"

Beca smiles and looks back down, then she feels Chloe moving forward and kissing her cheek. When the redhead starts moving away, Beca swallows hard and has to stop herself from capturing Chloe's lips. It really wasn't the time for a first kiss. Tonight was _supposed_ to be romantic. "I didn't...expect you"

"That's probably a good thing. You probably would have avoided me if you did" Chloe smiles and reaches up to brush the hair out of Beca's face, all while staring into her eyes.

"I'm glad I didn't" Beca moves up from the bed to grab the food containers again, handing one back to Chloe "So… we should actually get back to the good part of the date then"

Chloe takes the container from her and watches as she moves back to sit down "Can I ask… why you trusted me with that?"

"Because… I dunno, you're not like anyone I've ever encountered. I guess I just… took a chance" Beca pokes at a piece of carrot and brings it up into her mouth, glancing over at Chloe's stare and making her freeze with the fork in her mouth.

"Sorry, you're just really nice to look at" Chloe grins and shifts on the bed to bend a leg up on the mattress to face Beca more. "What do you think about watching Clueless?"

Beca swallows and looks down as she starts poking at chicken "I am clueless to Clueless, so...fire away"

"It's awesome, really. You'll hate it"


	4. Chapter 4

Chloe smirks at Beca as she watches the brunette falling asleep while Clueless was almost halfway through. She leans over slowly and kisses Beca's cheek before leaning forward and tapping the spacebar on the laptop to pause the movie and turn back to face Beca "Do you wanna watch something else?"

"No, it's fine. I'm good" Beca leans up from the slouched position, trying to act more awake.

Chloe laughs and turns back to the laptop, wheeling the cursor over the X and tapping out of the movie. Then she opens Chrome and goes to Facebook, which opens Beca's profile. Then she picks up the laptop and puts it onto her lap, when she glances over to her side, she sees Beca's eyes closed again. If she wasn't so worried about her father being on the page, she would have updated something along the lines of 'Chloe Beale is the sexiest living creature in the world' just to see Beca squirm. Instead, she sits there, tapping her finger against the laptop before she moves to the track pad and clicks on her message window to type to herself and reach for her phone on the desk to reply to herself.

 _Beca Mitchell 19:43_  
 _You're so pretty, Chloe_  
 _Chloe Beale 19:43_  
 _I know. Thanks Bec. You're pretty too. TOTES pretty._  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:43_  
 _I really am. I'm totes kissable too._  
 _Chloe Beale 19:43_  
 _I know! If you were awake right now, I'd probably kiss you_  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:44_  
 _I'm going to be so annoyed when I wake up and find out I missed out on your lips_  
 _Chloe Beale 19:44_  
 _I knguji_

"Jesus!" Chloe feels like she nearly flew through the ceiling when Beca grabbed her forearm and jolted forward. When Beca looks back at her with furrowed brows, the brunette settles again. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… yeah. Fine. What are you doing?" Beca rubs her face for a moment and looks down at the screen, seeing the message window open.

"I'm talking to you" Chloe smiles softly and moves the cursor to close the window, but Beca moves a hand out over hers and stops the movement. Beca was staring at the screen for a little longer than she anticipated.

Beca turns around after a few more moments to look at Chloe and smile slightly "I want… I want to kiss you, but.. I just had a bit of a nightmare and.."

"Really? Are you okay?" Chloe leans forward, picking up the laptop before she reaches over and puts it onto the desk, then returning to look at Beca.

"I'm fine. I think I just stressed myself out" Beca scans the room for a distraction, settling on the candle in the window again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Chloe's hand moves up to Beca's hair, raking her fingers through it.

Beca sighs and turns back to Chloe before getting up off the bed and moving over to the desk. Chloe watches as Beca starts typing and her eyes fall down to her lap. When she opens her mouth to talk, she sees the notification light on her phone and pushes the power button in. When she sees it's from Beca, she looks up at the brunette still typing.

 _Beca Mitchell 19:50_  
 _I can't use words most of the time and it's a problem for me. And I want to tell you what's going on in my mind but it's a scary place which will only make you cry. And I don't want that._  
 _I think I might be a little too far invested in this and I don't really know how far it goes for you, but I think..maybe it's better if we stopped seeing each other before it gets too rough._  
 _I'm sorry, or whatever. You're amazing. But I'm not. I'm the daughter of an abusive Christian who won't even hesitate to hurt one of us if he found out. And I'm not going to risk him hurting you over some fucking fictional book that was written 2000 years ago with the intention of brainwashing people into believing a bunch of shit._

"Beca… I'm not going to leave. And you can tell me endlessly about how horrible we are for each other, that won't make me believe you." Chloe chews at her lip when Beca types again, avoiding her gaze. She looks down at her phone again

 _Beca Mitchell 19:51_  
 _Please… don't make this harder than it needs to be._

Chloe sighs loudly and moves forward on the bed so she can get up and grab the arm of the chair then spin Beca to face her "Stop being such an idiot, Beca. I'm standing in front of you right now and offering to be with you no matter _what_. I know it can work, and yeah, it'll be a little difficult, but we'd be so perfect for each other if you didn't let your fucking neurosis take over. Open your eyes, Beca. You're not living if you're just shutting yourself in here and being alone"

"I'm not alone. I have Jesse"

Chloe huffs out a sarcastic laugh and stands up to look around the room "Really? Because the only other person here is _me_. The one person who has been actually trying with you, even through the stupid shit that you say to me"

Beca's gaze falls to the carpet "Are you trying to make me feel worse? Because it's working"

"No. I'm trying to make you…." Chloe stops herself and exhales "You know what, Beca? Fine. If you want me to go, I'll go. I can't keep playing these games with you" Chloe leans down to grab her phone and move towards the door, turning back to look at Beca once more before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

* * *

Chloe gets back into her dorm room in a huff and throws her phone across the room, seeing it bounce off the side of the mattress and onto the floor with a thud.

"You okay?" Chloe jumps at the sudden voice and turns her head to the side to find Aubrey standing at the closet hanging a jacket up.

"No. Beca's just… I don't know why the hell I bother" Chloe sighs and walks across the room, picking her phone up on the way to sit on her bed and look up at the blonde as she talks.

"Because you like her for some weird reason. But maybe she's a little too far gone?" Aubrey turns to the closet again and hangs up the jacket.

"What do you mean?"

"You know… damaged goods?" Aubrey glances over at Chloe with a raised eyebrow before turning back to the closet and moving things across.

Chloe reels back slightly at Aubrey's judgement. The last thing she expected to hear from Aubrey was that Beca was damaged goods and not deserving of love. "Seriously Bree? Damaged goods? What the hell makes you a genius in psychology?"

"I'm just saying that it's obvious she isn't all there. I'm on your side here"

"No. You're really not. If you were on my side, you'd be supportive and tell me that everything is gonna be okay. But instead, you're standing here and telling me that I'm not allowed to like her because she's damaged. She isn't too far gone. And it's really surprising to me that you'd be so narrow minded" Chloe shakes her head as she walks across the room to the door, ignoring Aubrey calling her name as she leaves. It takes her a whole minute to realize she left her phone on her bed. But there's no way she's going back in there.

Instead of spending the night walking around campus trying to figure out where she should go, she ends up back at Beca's door and knocking. When the door swings open, Beca smiles at her slightly

"I didn't think you got my message" the brunette says as Chloe stops herself from sending another attack in Beca's direction.

"I didn't, I left my phone in my dorm" Chloe draws in a deep breath after Beca's 'Oh' then she looks over Beca's shoulder at the candles still burning "If you really are serious about doing thi-"

"Beca" Chloe turns around when she hears a man's voice and turns back to Beca, who looks like she's about to have a heart attack, and it's quite possible the brunette isn't even breathing. "Who's your friend?" The man asks as he turns to Chloe with a strangely threatening look.

"Chloe" Beca says quietly. Chloe stares at the man as he eyes her down. Then he looks into the dorm room behind Beca and she can see the nerves rising on the brunette's face.

"We're waiting for Jesse and Luke" Chloe says, turning back to the man with a smile.

"I see. It's a little late for a date isn't it?"

"They work late at the station, so we kinda have to wait up for them. We don't have class in the morning anyway, so it's fine with me" Chloe smiles widely and turns to Beca, who was staring back at her in a stunned silence. When she turns back to the man again, he seems less scary. He even smiles slightly.

"I'm John Mitchell. Beca's father" He holds his hand out to her and she takes it in her fake happiness and shakes it.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Mitchell"

"Dr. Mitchell" He says as he takes his hand back again.

"Sorry.. Dr. Mitchell."

"It's nice to meet you too, Chloe." He looks over at Beca and Chloe really feels the urge to move in front of the brunette in protection. "Beca, I didn't mean to drop in like this, but I needed to get that book for Katie"

"Okay" Beca turns around and walks into the room, settling Chloe's nerves to have the brunette further away from this man.

"Katie's her step-sister" Dr. Mitchell says, getting Chloe's gaze back on him.

Chloe would _love_ if she could get away with saying 'Oh, do you beat her too?' but that's just going to end in a lot of pain. "Does she go here?"

"She will be soon. At least then I'll be able to keep a better eye on this one" He says with a smile when Beca returns and hands the book over. Chloe feels like her heart just fell out of a plane. "Have fun tonight girls" He says as he holds the book up and starts moving away.

Chloe glares at his back as he moves away, as soon as he's out of sight, Chloe turns to Beca, feeling her heart kicking back into gear when she sees Beca looking down, like she's ashamed. "Can I come in?"

"It's a bad idea"

"I know" Chloe moves forward and Beca stumbles back when she pushes her hands against Beca's sides to lead the brunette backwards and kick the door shut. "Okay." Chloe turns around and flips the lock over, then turns back to Beca and leans her back against the wall. "If you think there's even the slightest chance for us…. please just tell me"

There was a flash of frustration on Beca's eyes that causes her to look down in defeat, then Beca's body presses against hers and pins her to the door. Chloe had no time to react before lips were pressed against hers. There's a moment where the kiss breaks and Chloe lets out a breath that sounds more like a gasp. Beca moves away slightly and Chloe pulls her back again, cupping Beca's cheek and tilting her head to release her tongue from her mouth and touch Beca's lip, she feels the shaking lips part slowly and leans in closer, moving her tongue out to find Beca's meeting hers in a slow kiss that leaves her knees feeling weak.

Beca was the first to break the kiss and hover in front of Chloe's lips, breathing erratically against her lips. Chloe opens her eyes when the breath gets further from her and Beca's moving away to the middle of the room and turns around back to her, there was an uncertainty written across the brunette's face and Chloe's worry comes flooding back.

"I'm not used to this. I don't…. I'm not up and down like this. You make me feel like….everything at once and I can't understand it. I don't even know if I want to understand it" Beca moves her hand up to her mouth and nods for a moment before she moves her hand to her opposite shoulder and stares back at her. "I can't promise you that this won't end horribly"

"You also can't promise that it won't end perfectly. Like when we're a hundred and ten years old and still together. Then we somehow die at the exact same time" Chloe smiles slightly, even though she feels her tears welling up in her eyes.

Beca's hand drops away as she approaches Chloe quickly and wipes the tear from Chloe's cheek, that she hadn't even felt falling. "Please don't do that. This is supposed to be the moment in the movie where I chase you through an airport and kiss you and convince you to stay"

Chloe laughs softly and turns her head to bring her hand up and wipe the near tears on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, It happens sometimes. I'm an easy cryer"

"That's gonna get difficult for me" Beca says quietly, making Chloe turn forward and express her concern. "No, I mean… it's just going to be hard to watch, that doesn't mean it's going to stop me from… awkwardly asking.. you to be with..me" After the brunette clears her throat, Beca's eyes start moving away from her, finding any source of distraction possible.

"Look at me" Chloe waits as Beca's eyes close, then the brunette takes a long breath and looks back at her. "Ask me now"

Beca swallows visibly, keeping the stare between them strong. "Um.." Another throat clearing enters the room and Beca's anxiety starts getting worse, even to the point where there was heavy breathing.

Chloe's eyebrow twitches slightly in question when Beca's hand moves to the door behind her. Then there was a more desperate attempt to regain control over breathing. Beca turns her head down and Chloe reaches up to turn Beca's gaze back to her. "Bec. Calm down. Breathe." Chloe moves forward off the door, leading Beca backwards and sitting the brunette down on the bed and dropping to her knees. "Slower, Bec. In….out" Chloe looks around the room and jumps up to grab a bottle of water, then returning to the brunette and taking the lid off "Take a drink" Chloe watches Beca's shaking hand rising and holds the bottle up to Beca's mouth instead. Moving it down to the floor after the brunette takes a drink. "Keep breathing slow" she says as she puts the lid back on. The panic attack doesn't last long and Chloe stays on her knees in front of the brunette.

Beca starts breathing better again, their eyes were fixated on each other, but Chloe couldn't figure out what was happening in Beca's head. "Be my girlfriend" The brunette's voice was shaky from the panic attack, but Chloe smiles and reaches up to Beca's cheek anyway.

"Okay, but try not to do that to me again"

Beca huffs out a laugh and then a tear falls, which gets wiped away quickly by the brunette, who turns away so Chloe can't see that Beca was crying.

Chloe moves her other hand up to Beca's chin to turn the brunette's gaze back to her. Her hand moves to Beca's other cheek, her thumbs move across the cheeks beneath, wiping away tears as they fall. "Don't be scared of what this means, or how this may or may not go. I'm here with you now and that's where we should stay. In the current" Chloe leans forward and pulls Beca closer to press their lips together again. When she moves back again, she chews at her lip and drops her hands away. "But I'm still totally not banging you this early"

Beca's laugh bursts out and ends in the brunette shaking her head and turning away. "You're such a liar, you know you want it. Snot and all"

"You could probably use it as lube, I guess" Chloe smiles and gets up onto her feet to scan the room for tissues.

"That's gross. What are you doing?"

Chloe turns around to Beca again "I'm looking for tissues for your lube. Okay, now that I say it like that, it does sound kinda weird" Beca points over to the desk drawer and Chloe moves across the room to pull open the drawers, freezing when she sees a _lot_ of condoms. Her head moves back slightly and then she glances up at the brunette wiping at her cheek again and pushes the drawer shut, then opening the next one down and finding the tissues. When she lifts the box out, she finds something even more startling than a lifetime supply of condoms. reaches down slowly and picks up the piece of paper, then finds another underneath, each page has a different homophobic slur written in huge letters.

"Don't" Chloe looks up at the brunette standing next to her and drops the papers and holds the tissues up.

"Sorry. I'll leave it" Chloe shoves the drawer shut and Beca pulls out a tissue and moves away, leaving Chloe to glance down at the closed drawer. Beca seems to have a few things to explain now.

"They're from my step-mother" Beca says. There was a strong punching feeling against Chloe's heart that hits her with an anger, but with a long inhale, she calms herself down for Beca's sake.

"Why did you keep them?" Chloe knew that she would regret asking this.

"Because… it reminds me that I need to be hidden" Beca throws the tissue into the trash can and turns back to Chloe. "It isn't like I'm staring at it all day and being damn… I really hate me. I just… keep them in there and add to the pile"

"She still sends them?"

"Every birthday. Which means I'm due for another one next month. Yay" Beca moves across the room and looks behind Chloe while guiding her backwards to sit down. Then Beca bends down in front of her and kisses her in a different way, there was a little more of a lustful desperation behind the kiss and Beca starts pushing her back until she was pressed against the back of the chair. Beca moves forward onto the chair, straddling Chloe as they kiss.

A moan escapes Chloe's mouth that seems to kick Beca up a gear and send the brunette's hands forward against her stomach, adding pressure to make sure Chloe feels them slowly moving upward. Chloe turns her head to escape from the kiss and puts her hands over the brunette's, stopping them just as they were about to reach her chest. "Wait.."

Beca yanks her hands back from Chloe and she looks up at the brunette, who looked like she even surprised herself at the pace she moved. "Sorry. I… I lost control" Beca moves back too fast and slips off the edge of the chair, then hits the floor with a thud and ends up laying on the floor. "Added insult. Awesome"

Chloe smiles and leans forward on the chair to get the brunette to look back at her. "If it makes you feel any better, it was nice. Just a little more than I was expecting after talking about homophobia"

"Well maybe you reminded me how gay I am" Beca smirks and kicks her legs out under the chair to lay flat on the floor.

"That's so sweet of you to say" Chloe laughs and moves off the chair to get down to her knees and stop when Beca holds hands up at her.

"I don't want you to ruin your dress"

Chloe raises her eyebrows and looks down at the carpet "It looks pretty clean, Bec. I don't think it's going to bleach my dress"

"Just in case, you better lay on top of me"

Chloe shakes her head with a grin and moves to the side so she hovers over Beca and lowers herself down, catching the surprise on Beca's face just before she nuzzles into the nape of the brunette's neck with a soft exhale.

"I really didn't think that'd work" Beca says, Chloe closes her eyes with a hum when she feels a hand stroking her back.

"You're smoother than you think" she says into Beca's neck, her hand moves across Beca's other shoulder and traces the collarbone next to it. "I really like you when you're you"

Beca huffs slightly from underneath Chloe and then lays a hand over Chloe's drawing hand, stopping her movements. "I really like you too. You make me want to be me. Which… I haven't really been able to be for a while"

"Welcome back then" Chloe tilts her head up slightly to kiss Beca's neck and move back again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Is this number ten on the twenty-one questions? Or is it nine.. I can't even remember"

Chloe smiles against Beca's shoulder and nods slightly "Yes. You ready for it?"

"I guess. Should I be nervous for it?"

"I'm not...sure." Chloe moves her hands up to the floor beside Beca's head to lift her upper body up over the brunette "Why do you have a drawer full of condoms?"

Beca closes her eyes and groans "Oh my god, I forgot about those. Jesse had this plan to plant condoms in here so that if my father ever comes in, he'd find them and assume I was sexually active…. with dudes." When Beca's eyes open, Chloe's grinning down at the brunette. "Only… he never actually comes in here, and I have a thousand condoms because Jesse's an ass"

"So… you think your father would assume you _are_ sexually active, even though all of the condoms are still in their packets?" Chloe tilts her head slightly in a mock confusion.

"I never said this was a smart plan, or even my plan. You can blame Jesse for that" Beca sighs and averts her gaze downward. Chloe follows the brunette's eyes and sees the cleavage she's showing off from the new position. "Sorry" Chloe looks up again and Beca's eyes have returned to hers.

Chloe smiles and leans down, brushing her lips over Beca's before whispering "You can look all you want, Becs" then presses their lips together. It doesn't take the brunette long to go from zero to a hundred. Beca's hands move to Chloe's back and then she's being rolled over onto the bottom underneath the brunette. Then the kiss starts getting heated and Chloe's dress gets hiked up, prompting her to reach down quickly and stop Beca's hands again.

When Beca moves back up again, it's clear that there's a battle going on behind the dark blue eyes. "Shit" Beca gets up quickly and crosses the room. Leaving Chloe slightly breathless and blindsighted by the abrupt ending to a very abrupt beginning. She gets up eventually and finds Beca standing on the other side of the room with hands shoved deep into the jean pockets. "I'm sorry, again."

"What's.. up with that?" Chloe asks as she stares over at Beca. The brunette was showing a complete regret and Chloe starts moving across the room until Beca says 'Stop'

"Just… I need a minute. Or like five. Or maybe a cold shower" Beca's deep breath worries Chloe until it was released loudly. "I have some… self control issues. Obviously. Usually it's with my mouth, but… I go… over the line. And usually it's fine, like if I'm here with someone, it's usually to fuck them anyway and it doesn't.." Beca's voice fades away when Chloe looks away from the brunette. "Sorry, I mean… when I had.. someone.. I'd just try to get it over with because I can get...frustrations out and just get rid of them"

"That doesn't sound _any_ nicer, Beca"

"It isn't nice. I know that. But…. I mean I'm with you now, I won't even think about the condoms"

Chloe smiles slightly and looks back at Beca. She really shouldn't get mad at Beca's past, she doesn't have a right to. That was before her. Chloe nods and moves closer slowly "So… don't talk to any girls. Like ever. You can only talk to girls when I'm around, because I'm _super_ jealous"

Beca huffs out a laugh and shrugs "I can do that. I won't even order a coffee without you at my side keeping me in line"

"Oh yeah?" Chloe raises an eyebrow as she stops in front of the brunette, reaching forward to the button down shirt and grabbing hold. "Don't even talk to the coffee girl. _I'll_ order for you"

"I didn't realise you were so… crazy possessive" Beca's eyes dart downward and Chloe bites her lip in order to keep _herself_ in line now.

"Yeah. I am so totally possessive. I think I might even have to punch Jesse for buying you condoms" Chloe smiles when Beca smiles at her. "He's such a pervy jerkbag"

"You're… really cute" Beca says, leaning forward slightly. Chloe meets the brunette halfway and moans softly when their lips collide. Her hands move up to the sides of Beca's neck as she lets her tongue move out and across Beca's lips, waiting for them to part and grant her access to Beca's mouth. Her body involuntarily moves forward in reaction to Beca's tongue massaging against hers and the grunt front the brunette gets her smiling into the kiss and letting her hips rock just once before Beca's hands attach to her sides and pull them together.

Beca exhales into the kiss and turns them around until Chloe's back hits the wall with a thump. Then she figures out she's the one sending wrong signals by doing this. Beca isn't so good with restraining the urges. Chloe gasps when she feels a pressure against her and looks down to only see Beca's body pressed against hers. The brunette's mouth attaches to her neck and starts sucking, then she works out that it's a hand between her legs. Beca's fingers rub against her over her underwear and she clings to the back of Beca's shirt, clenching her eyes to try and find the strength to stop Beca from going too fast.

Beca exhales loudly again, moving the hand away and giving Chloe a chance to catch up to the situation, the hand moves underneath Chloe's underwear and causes another gasp to escape when a finger glides down and enters her. "Oh god… wait. Becs" The finger starts moving back and enters her again, then she leans her head back against the wall with a thud and tightens her fist around the shirt. "Beca"

Beca grunts against Chloe's neck and bites down on the area that was sensitive from the sucking. Chloe bites down on her lip hard when the finger starts moving faster inside of her, causing her to lose control of her hips and move against the brunette's hand. Beca's breathing was erratic against her neck, and Chloe knows that the brunette has completely lost control, but she's losing the battle with her body.

"Bend your leg up" is the first thing she hears Beca saying into her ear with a whisper. Then there was a whole new battle inside of her when she tries to refrain from listening to the brunette "I wanna fuck you" A second finger moves inside of Chloe and starts pumping fast, then Chloe drops her hand down to grip onto Beca's forearm in an attempt to stop, but then the brunette's fingers start curling inside of her instead, moving rapidly and inciting a loud moan from her.

"Wait!" Chloe bites down hard on her lip and Beca's speed quickens. Chloe gasps for air as she tries to stop her bucking hips and failing. She was getting extremely close and Beca must know it. She feels teeth clamping down onto her neck again and she has to tighten her grip around Beca's forearm again in a last minute attempt to stop before the shaking starts. Her body tenses when the orgasm builds into an explosive finish. Her hand stays tight around Beca's forearm as the brunette rides out the climax with her.

Chloe almost wants to cry from letting Beca lose control, her chest feels tight and that could possibly be from the orgasm, but it did hurt her heart. Beca leans back with a smirk that fades fast when she looks at Chloe. "Fuck. Fuck!" The hand moves away from Chloe, making her take a sharp breath. "I'm sorry. I'm…. shit. I'm sorry. I didn't.."

"It's okay. It's my fault for...failing"

"No, that's seriously fucked up. Oh my god, I am a rapist" Beca backs up slightly and Chloe sighs as she leans her head off the wall to look at the brunette

"Becs. You didn't rape me. If you raped me, I wouldn't be this… turned on" Chloe shifts slightly and smirks.

Beca sighs loudly and groans while moving over to the desk chair.

Chloe's smile turns into a sympathetic one when she watches Beca headbutting the desk softly. She approaches the brunette and touches Beca's shoulder. Chloe sits down on Beca's lap when the girl springs up from the position and she pulls Beca's arms around her front to make the brunette hug her. After leaning back with a sigh and moving her head back until they're cheek to cheek, she smiles "You're really good at that"

"Please don't"

"Beca, just because we… had a little moment of weakness doesn't mean that what we have isn't real. There's still a _lot_ more for us to do" Chloe smiles and turns her head slightly to rub her cheek against Beca's.

"I am so glad I don't have a dick. I would just be in pain all of the time around you"

Chloe laughs loudly and leans forward to turn her upper body and look back at her girlfriend "Well you have enough condoms"

"This is true. Maybe I'll grow one just for you. You do like the D"

Chloe narrows her eyes with a smile and leans closer to Beca, stopping before she reaches the brunette's lips "If you grew one, I'd only like yours. Because I'm yours and no one else's"

"Okay, see...that kinda talk makes me want to touch you" Beca's tongue moves out to wet her lips and stare down at Chloe's lips.

Chloe was just about to make a comment when she feels Beca's hand move out from under her own and turn her back around until her back was against the brunette again. She turns her head slightly in confusion until she looks down at the hand moving over her breast. "Beca"

"What?" Beca says softly, the rubbing hand moves up into the top of the dress and Chloe slaps her hand against Beca's sneaking hand, stopping the movement before she gets anywhere. A hard breath hits Chloe's shoulder and Beca's other hand drops down to her thigh, causing her to follow suit with her hand and catch it as it moves up quickly, trying to catch Chloe off guard again. Chloe was ready for it this time. "Chloe, come on. I know you want me"

"I do want you, Becs. But you're making it really difficult for me to feel secure around you without feeling like you're going to lose control" Silence hits the room and Chloe feels Beca relaxing behind her.

"Okay. How long do I have to wait?" Beca says, Chloe moves forward and Beca's arms spring up to pull her back and hold her down, tightening her grip around her stomach "Please don't move, I won't do anything, I promise"

Chloe decides to give the brunette a chance to prove herself and relaxes back down again. "I don't know how long… I just… I don't want you to.."

"No. I get it, I do. I treat girls badly, and I really… I don't want to do that to you. Even though I just fucking did"

Chloe moves her hand up behind her to Beca's cheek. "It's okay, that was both of us losing control"

"Which wouldn't have happened at all had I just not jammed it in"

A laugh escapes from Chloe "Jammed it in? That's so romantic"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but there wasn't anything romantic about me shoving a finger inside of you when you weren't even..ready"

"We both know _that_ isn't true. I was ready, I just…. wasn't prepared" Chloe's eyes move down when she feels Beca's hands tightening into fists. "Bec"

"I'm good. I'm good." Beca's voice sounds strained and Chloe isn't even sure which one of them Beca was trying to convince.

"Do you need me to get up?"

"No. I want to be able to hold you."

Chloe stays still, and silent until she feels Beca's tension leave again. "Do you wanna watch a movie?"

"Yeah, okay. Sure…. but how are we going to put it on if you're not allowed to move?"

"I'm not _allowed_ to move now?"

"Nope" Beca's arms tighten around her again, making her smile and blissfully sigh.

"What a pity. I was going to put on porn" Chloe laughs loudly when Beca's arms spread out to the side, releasing Chloe. "I figured that would work. Perv"


	5. Chapter 5

They didn't watch porn. Beca was tricked by the redhead, not that she really minded. Chloe has that playful smirk that makes Beca smile non-stop. The banter between the two started to flow easier to Beca. She actually managed to stop herself from launching at the redhead. For now, anyway. Chloe hadn't actually kissed her like she did earlier, so it was easy to avoid grabbing things she wasn't allowed to.

Beca was hardly paying attention to the movie on the laptop, her eyes kept making their way over to the side of Chloe's face, inspecting every millimeter until she had it all memorized. Chloe would eventually smirk, knowing that Beca was staring, then Beca would have to pretend to be looking at the wall behind Chloe, only to be laughed at.

It wasn't exactly Beca's fault. Chloe was _gorgeous_ for a start. And this movie just can't hold her attention, it was some blonde English woman who was sleeping with her boss and ends up in a love triangle. It was cliché and annoying, so she decides to start distracting Chloe.

The first move was simple, and got a chuckle from the redhead. She yawned and stretched her arms up, then dropped one across Chloe's shoulders in the smoothest move in history.

"Dork" Chloe says, not looking away from the screen, even when Beca pulled the redhead closer and pressed her lips to Chloe's cheek.

From the closer position she's in, her arm drapes pretty easily over Chloe's shoulder and downward over Chloe's chest. If she were to move her hand a few inches, she could grab a boob. And deciding to keep it humorous instead of making it dirty, she coughs loudly and moves her hand quickly, pressing it against Chloe's breast.

It only took Chloe a few seconds to smack her hand and shove it away with another laugh. "Stop trying to distract me, Becs. I'm invested in this. Bridget is about to have her dinner party"

"Wow… I better pay close attention. I don't want to miss tea and scones." Beca tilts her head and catches sight of Chloe's smile. She waits a few moments for Chloe to ignore her again, then leans closer to the redhead and takes Chloe's earlobe between her lips, tugging gently as she moves back. A quiet but long breath leaves Chloe and Beca smirks, letting her tongue release and move up the edge of Chloe's ear, then whispers into it "I wanna kiss you"

"You can kiss me… when you learn how to control your dirty hands" Chloe turns slightly and the smile was obvious over the redhead's face. Beca moves her hand forward and trails her fingertips up Chloe's arm lightly, looking down at the goosebumps forming.

"I can control my hands, can you control your desire?" Beca takes Chloe's earlobe between her teeth and tugs before letting it go and kissing the redhead's ear. "What would you do if I took control of your hand for about….fifteen minutes?"

"Fifteen minutes? Is that all the time you need?" Chloe smiles and turns to face Beca, which is all she ever needed the redhead to do. Beca smiles in return and tilts her head to the side, kissing Chloe gently before moving back and winking.

" _That_ is all I needed." Beca turns back to the screen and Chloe's the one staring at her now. Beca raises an eyebrow and looks back to the redhead with a questioning look.

"Something tells me...that you're going to be the sweetest and more adorablest girlfriend ever"

"Oh wow. Way to make me regret that kiss" Beca gives Chloe a look and smiles when the redhead laughs at her again. They meet in the middle to collide for another kiss, letting it linger before their lips part and tongues find each other. Beca groans lightly and starts to move forward, stopping herself and moving back, out of the kiss instead.

Chloe was smiling at her, seeming impressed by the move, then Beca exhales loudly and leans against the wall. "Sorry, Becs. I know it's annoying for you"

Beca turns her eyes to Chloe "No, it isn't annoying at all. Seriously. I could kiss you forever without sex if it means you stay here" Beca swallows when she realises her words just spilled out of her without thinking.

Chloe smiles wider and leans closer to press their lips together again and move back. "Thank you"

"How about you thank me with your lips some more?" Beca smirks when Chloe rolls her eyes and moves forward again, Beca deepens the kiss right away, letting her tongue find its way into Chloe's mouth. As soon as Chloe moans, Beca moves back quickly and turns away. "Okay….. so tea party"

Chloe laughs and reaches up to brush a finger against Beca's cheek "I am super into you right now"

"Dude. Trying to control my pants"

"Your pants aren't feeling me up, Becs. That's you and your hands"

"Okay. Trying to control me and my hands, so maybe…. turn down the sexy"

Chloe turns back to the screen with a grin and Beca looks down when she feels something moving against her leg, finding Chloe's finger stroking up and down. Beca stares intently at the finger, feeling that urge to just grab it and make it move to a better place.

Beca groans loudly as she turns back to the screen and thumps the back of her head against the wall, getting Chloe's smile back onto her. "Please don't look at me right now"

"Maybe you should have a cold shower"

"I'm fine as long as I don't look at you and don't touch you. Or even hear you." Beca grimaces when Chloe's sexy laugh sounds out into her ears. "Jesus, or even make you laugh. I really wanna take that hand of yours"

"And?"

Beca swallows hard and stares up at the wall for a few moments, then turns to Chloe. "And what?"

Chloe leans in closer, making Beca lean back away from her and getting another smirk from the redhead. "And then what would you do with it?"

"Okay you're the biggest tease in the world and I think I got myself into something bad" Beca smiles through her pained arousal and looks down at Chloe's chest.

"It tur.. hmm." Chloe leans back quickly and holds a hand up. "I'm sorry. That was… I'm _so_ being mean right now"

"Jesus fucking christ please finish that sentence" Beca says a little too seriously, getting a bursting laugh from Chloe and a head shake. "Ugh. You're killing me"

"I know, sorry baby"

Beca draws in a sharp breath and moves off the bed quickly before dipping on her knees and grunting. "Okay. Okay. If we're going to be all.." She starts pacing across the room and hears the movie pause. "In a thing… without the sex thing. Maybe you could like… not use that word, like ever. Fuck" Beca looks up at the ceiling and releases a long breath. "Nope. Nope. I'll be back" Beca rushes for the door and shuts it quietly behind her before she darts over to the bathroom.

Beca spends almost ten minutes constantly throwing water onto her face and looking at herself in the mirror to talk herself down in her head. Then she'd have another thought of Chloe and throw more cold water onto her face. When she gets back to the room, Chloe's standing and turns to her looking concerned.

"What happened? Was that totally horrible of me? I won't say it again, I-"

"No, no. It's… you..uh.." Beca closes the door and approaches the redhead slowly "You kinda got me beyond a point where… I could have really gone over the line again"

"By calling you baby?"

"Okay, see you're used to saying that, and I am not so used to _hearing_ _it_. And then you… say it to me and I'm just…. exploding with all this sexual frustration and… hearing it...coming from you and seeing it coming out of that mouth" Beca sighs loudly and throws her arms up before turning around again and leaving the room once more to walk over to the bathroom.

When she comes back into the room after another almost drowning herself session, she finds Chloe sitting on the bed, the look on Chloe's face is less concerned and more amused.

"Sorry baby"

Beca freezes and tilts her head in a slight frustration before she shoves the door closed and turns around to Chloe "Seriously dude. You're in for trouble now" Beca rushes forward and takes Chloe down onto the bed, with plans to pin the giggling redhead. Only Chloe somehow ends up getting on top of her and pinning her down instead. Beca looks up, completely confused with how that even happened, then she tries to pull her hands out of Chloe's vice grip. "Jesus"

"Bree makes us work out a _lot_. You're no match for me" Chloe was hovering above her and she couldn't even reach the redhead to kiss her if she tried. Her eyes move down to see the dress hiked up in Chloe's straddling position. Chloe must have noticed the stare wasn't moving back up and starts to move up, causing Beca to finally pay attention and look up into Chloe's eyes as the redhead moves down on top of her with a sigh. "You're going to be the best thing in my life, I can already feel it"

Beca swallows hard when she listens to Chloe's words, her hand moves up to the redhead's back and starts rubbing up and down slowly. "Are you tired?"

"Mm.. kind of, but I'm okay" Chloe sounded sleepy, or maybe it was from nuzzling into Beca's neck and muffling the words.

A few minutes of silence passes and Beca falls back into reality after losing herself to thoughts as she rubs Chloe's back with her hand. "Chloe" she says quietly, getting no response makes her smile and stare up at the ceiling as she continues moving her hand up and down. "You're already the best thing in my life" she whispers and then sighs. She'll probably never say that out loud when Chloe's awake.

* * *

Beca gets woken up suddenly by a tugging at her legs, and when she opens her eyes slowly, she finds Chloe standing without a dress on and folding up the jeans Beca _was_ wearing. She blinks a few times and lowers her gaze to the black bra that the redhead was wearing, then lower again to the matching underwear.

"Did I wake you?" Chloe says quietly, Beca's eyes spring up to meet the redhead's.

"It's fine… I just...um" Beca has to stare intensely at Chloe so she doesn't drop her gaze back down again. Chloe's body was really trying to scream at her though.

Chloe drops the folded jeans up on the desk chair and moves towards Beca. She sits up quickly and holds her hand up "I'm not gonna do anything, Becs. I just wanted to get you more comfortable before I shove you into bed"

Beca lowers her hand to her lap and looks down at her bare legs, then she raises her eyes to Chloe's body only a foot away from her. "Oh dude you are seriously… your body is fucking flawless"

"Thanks ba.. thanks." Chloe catches the word late enough for Beca to smile and look up at Chloe.

Beca starts pulling the button down shirt off and throws it onto the floor, then she reaches to the bottom of her t-shirt and pulls it up over her head to throw it on top of the shirt. Her underwear wasn't as impressive as the lace things that Chloe had on, but the redhead looked like she was having the same amount of trouble with control. "Do you want something to sleep in?"

"Maybe I should… it'll be safer" Beca nods at Chloe's quiet words and stands up inches from Chloe's underwear clad body. Beca draws in a long breath before she avoids touching Chloe and moves across the room to the drawers "It's okay. I'll wear this"

Beca turns around and sees Chloe pulling on the black button down shirt that she'd just taken off. She swallows hard when Chloe starts buttoning it up and smiling down towards the shirt. Beca's tongue moves out to wet her lips and she feels herself twitching and catching herself before she makes the move that was about to send her across the room to take Chloe onto the bed. Beca closes her eyes and turns back to the drawers. After a few deep breaths, she turns around and sees the redhead climbing underneath the covers.

"Are you gonna put something on, or just tempt me all night?" Chloe asks after she settles onto the pillow with a sly grin.

"I'm gonna tempt you all night. Maybe you'll be the one who gets shut down this time" Beca smirks and makes her way across the room, Chloe lifts the covers up for her to get under and move an arm and a leg over Chloe, hesitating as she hovers over the redhead on her hands and knees. They stare at each other for a few moments before Beca finishes crawling over the redhead and lays down next to Chloe.

"You're really sexy, Becs. I'm sorry if that's going to make you crazy, but… wow" Chloe turns to her after speaking, and Beca has to restrain her urges once again by closing her eyes. "Night Beca" Chloe's lips connect with her own and stun her. When she opens her eyes, Chloe's rolling over to face away from her. Beca shifts forward on the bed and hangs her arm over the redhead's side.

"Night Chlo"

* * *

 _"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female, it is an abomination" Beca says, as she gets up onto her hands and knees, the stream of blood hanging from her mouth as she looks down and cringes in pain. Her father stands over her with the Bible in his hand, flipping through pages and yelling '20:13' at her Beca sighs and gets onto her knees, sitting down on her feet in front of her father. Her whole body ringing with pain from her father's beating "If there is a man who lies with a male as those lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act...they shall surely be put to death"_

 _"Do you HEAR the words, Beca? You're detestable. You're disgusting" He swings the back of his hand down, connecting it with Beca's cheek and sending her head turning to the side. "We'll fix this Beca. You'll read every single word of Leviticus out loud. And you will ask for forgiveness for this disgusting sin. And if He forgives you, you will NEVER do this again. I will put you to death!" His arm swings up in a fist and Beca's eyes close as soon as it hits._

Beca springs up in the bed, gasping for air "Fuck", someone grabs her shoulder, and she doesn't have much time to think before she's spinning around onto her knees and grabbing the arm, forcing it down onto their chest, then she's met with blue eyes that send her crashing back to reality. her hands loosen around the grip on Chloe's arm, and her next reaction couldn't be held back.

Beca doesn't cry often, she actually fucking _hates_ crying, especially in front of someone else. Her moments are supposed to be only for her, but the nightmare, followed by her putting her hands on her girlfriend of like _twelve hours_ or some shit, it all hit her at once. Beca crawls off the bed and rushes out the door, running right into a larger body.

"Beca? Beca what's wrong?" She did hear that it was Jesse, and now _two_ people are seeing her cry. She shoves him back with as much force as she could muster and moves across the hallway to the bathrooms.

That dream was a warning. Beca knew it was a warning. If she stays doing this thing with Chloe, it would all happen again, probably worse. Beca walks into a shower stall and pulls the curtain closed. Then she switches on the shower and stands under the stream of water, turning it hotter then waiting a few moments before turning it hotter again.

At least she wasn't crying anymore. The hot water fills the stall with steam and she focuses less on the pain and more on the self loathing. The only person who really causes trouble for herself is her, screwing girls was an easy outlet, but falling for one? That was just stupid.

"Beca?" Her head moves out from under the water when she hears Chloe's voice, but she stays silent. A few moments pass and Beca turns up the hot water again, Chloe must have stopped looking. She takes a deep breath as she stands under the steaming water, her skin was glowing red at this point, which makes her feel a tiny bit better.

"Lord, forgive me for the sins that I've acted upon. Help me see the light and stop these feelings, help me stop wanting her. I know I haven't shown restraint since my last forgiveness, but I don't lay with them, Lord. Cast the devil's evil ways from me and I'll be a loyal follower to yo-"

"Beca" Beca closes her eyes and wonders if this was some kind of joke. If God really was real, he just sent Chloe into her shower stall. Chloe's arms move around her and turn off the water. Beca sighs and turns around to look at Chloe. "What are you doing to yourself?" Chloe says, looking down at her body after the burning water made her red. Beca averts her eyes to the curtain.

"I don't know" Beca looks down at herself and stiffens when Chloe moves forward to hug her. Yeah, if God was real, he was a real dick. Beca was trying not to give in to the hug, but the smell of Chloe draws her in, Beca would never be able to fight off the Devil. Her arms move around Chloe's lower back slowly.

"You scared me" Chloe says quietly and Beca closes her eyes in reaction.

"I'm sorry, I had a bad dream, I forgot you were there"

"Beca" Chloe moves out of the hug and stays close to Beca, staring into her eyes with a little too much concern for Beca to find it in herself to disrespect the redhead again. "You scared me by going from that to crying and running away. You don't have to run from me, especially if you're sad"

"I'm not sad, it just caught me off guard." Beca lets her hands drop away from Chloe and she reaches up to pull Chloe's arms off her shoulders.

Chloe looks disappointed, but there was no attempt at reconnecting their bodies. "Jesse's waiting for you in your room, I'm gonna go"

Beca clenches her jaw softly and she gives a silent nod. Chloe's brows furrow slightly, then the redhead moves out of the stall, leaving her in there alone.

It wasn't the smartest idea to run into showers in your underwear with no towel or anything. Beca looks down at herself again and she steps out of the stall. Her eyes scan the area and she finds the girl from the auditorium yesterday, the one who she thought Chloe was hitting on. Beca looks over at the exit, then back at the girl taking off her robe and getting into a stall. God really is a dick.

Beca can't remember anything about this girl, she thinks the girl's name is Sally or something like that. Her hesitation takes a turn for the worst when she starts moving towards the stall holding the tall brunette, stopping a foot from it. The girl inside was humming, like she was a Siren pulling Beca into her death.

Beca closes her eyes for a moment _This is the safe way. No strings means no death._ Beca takes a deep breath and finds her sleazy self confidence, then she pulls the curtain aside loudly and makes the girl jump and spin around. Beca steps in and closes it again.

"Um.. can I help you?" the girl asks, opening Beca up to a thousand answers to choose from.

"You can help me a lot, yeah" Beca's eyes travel down the girl's front, there was no attempt at all to cover anything and Beca smirks as she steps closer to the girl. "You wanna fuck?"

"You're forward. I have a girlfriend"

That's right. Beca remembers that now. "So do I. The joys of having the ability to stay quiet about fucking someone in the shower" Beca's heart starts pounding in her chest when her hand moves forward onto the girl's side.

There was an apprehensive demeanor from the taller girl when Beca's fingertips start moving up over the ribs and stopping at the base of the girl's breast. "I'm… we're a serious couple"

"Something tells me you're not so great at having a monogamous relationship" Beca says quietly, staring down at her hand as it turns up and her fingertip circles the erect nipple. "What's your name? Or we don't even need names, really… fuck it, right?"

The brunette looked like she was about to run away forever and Beca was shocked when there was a slow nod. Beca raises her eyebrows and surges forward to kiss the brunette and move them until she had the girl's back against the wall. The size difference wasn't much of a problem for her, she didn't have to go too far when she bent down to take the girl's nipple into her mouth on her way down the body in front of her.

* * *

Beca was oddly proud of herself for getting a girl to cheat on her girlfriend with her. It wasn't the first time she's had a girl who was in a relationship. There were plenty, people are just horrible at keeping it in their pants. So was Beca, apparently. She hasn't addressed the fact it only took her one night to cheat, but she wasn't exactly going to say anything. Not to Chloe, anyway. She told Jesse as soon as she got back to the room dripping from the second shower she just had with whoever the hell that girl was.

Jesse had invited Beca out to some a-capella competition thing, they were going out to the dinner with her father that night. Beca was backstage with him and the guys in the Treblemakers. The groups around her make it really clear that these people were nerdy. Jesse was definitely at home here. It was a few hours since she even heard from Chloe, and seeing her across the room when her group walked in was odd. She still had her confidence from making that shower girl give in, and then she sees the shower girl hand in hand with the blonde. _Shit. That's right.._ Beca grimaces when she remembers who exactly that brunette was dating. Chloe's best friend. "Well this is gonna be messy" she mutters to herself.

"What is?" Jesse says, when she turns to look at him, she groans and nods over at the girl group. "Oh, it's fine. We're gonna kick their asses, or are you talking about Chloe?"

"I'm talking about the girl on the other side of the blonde who is standing next to Chloe. That's the girl I fucked in the shower"

"Jesus, Beca. You didn't think that was a stupid idea?"

"Well I forgot she was dating the blonde"

"But you knew she was Chloe's friend?"

Beca rolls her eyes and starts moving forward towards the girls, hearing Jesse's sigh as she walks away from him into her possible death. Chloe was the first to see her and smiles so brightly it makes Beca's heart flutter. She hasn't had anyone have that reaction to her before.

"Hey!" Chloe moves forward to meet her in the middle and reaches up, but Beca quickly pushes the hands down.

"Not here. I… we can't" Beca scans the area to make sure her father isn't just going to jump out and throw fire at her.

"Right. Sorry. I almost got a little _too_ comfy. How are you? Are you feeling any better after this morning?" Chloe has a concerned look on her face and Beca's eyes move over the redhead's shoulder at the brunette who was glancing at her and looking away again. Beca smirks and returns her gaze to Chloe.

"Yeah. I'm great. I guess I just needed to get all my demons out. How are you?" Beca's eyes move down to Chloe's weird suit jacket and skirt outfit. "I hate this look on you, by the way"

Chloe laughs at her and gives her a gentle shove. "Shush. It's our traditional outfit. Bella's have been wearing this forever"

"Are you going to be getting me peanuts and warm towels?"

"If you want me to. Would you like a beverage as well?"

Beca steps forward, flinches and then backs up again when she noticed she was about to make a move on the redhead. Her eyes move around the groups again. "I don't suppose there's a broom closet or something where I can take you hostage"

Chloe laughs again and Beca looks back in time to see the redhead biting her lip. Beca's urge fires up inside of her and she looks over at the brunette again, then back at Chloe

"No seriously. Is there one? Because I really have to fuck you" Beca's eyes move down the front of Chloe, ignoring the ugly outfit.

"Bec. Control?" Chloe's supportive smile pisses Beca off, but she has to deal with it. With a long exhale, she nods at Chloe. The redhead beams at her again and turns around to lead Beca over to the group of girls.

Beca took note of how many times the nervous brunette would glance at her and then look away quickly. It was pushing Beca further into her sexual frustration to know that she can have this girl at any moment behind everyone's backs. Her civil conversations with the few girls in the group was so half-assed she wasn't surprised when Chloe took over and started saying how great of a singer Beca is.

"So why haven't you joined us then?" The blonde asks, Beca's eyes move to the brunette, and she could practically feel the heartbeat from the girl. Beca hides her smirk when she looks back at the blonde.

"Chloe's been trying. I think I might though. There's a lot you guys have to offer" Beca's smirk finally escapes onto her mouth and she looks over at Chloe, who was shaking her head in a playful smile.

"Well… I trust Chloe's judgment. So there's a spot for you if you want it" the blonde holds her hand out and Beca takes it in a handshake, letting her eyes bounce over to the brunette, who looks saddened now.

The girls were called onto the stage and all of them started squealing and making Beca take a few steps away so no one assumed she was part of that. Chloe grins at her and sends her a wink before they all skip away onto the stage.

"Dude. You are so screwed" Jesse says as he walks up to her side and stops.

"Nope. But that brunette's gonna be" Beca keeps her eyes on the group from the side of the stage.

"I thought you liked Chloe"

"Yeah, I do. But who knows how long it'll be before she lets me hit it"

"You know you're the worst, right?"

"I've been told" Beca feels Jesse's hand on her shoulder before he moves away from her. When she watches Chloe dancing and singing, she might actually feel a little bit bad. It'll catch up to her soon enough, but for now she needs to keep her head in the game.


	6. Chapter 6

Chloe managed to talk Beca into joining the girls for their post-competition party, having Jesse there helped, he was definitely on her side in getting Beca to join them. Chloe was practically skipping down the corridor on her way to Beca's dorm in a blue dress that she _knows_ Beca will enjoy.

Her timing was perfect when she catches sight of Beca walking into her dorm. She runs forward and catches the door before it closes. Beca turns around and smirks at her with a raised eyebrow. Chloe looks down at Beca's outfit, it's so typically Beca. Jeans, white undershirt, grey plaid shirt. Chloe smiles widely and closes the door so she can move across the room and hug the brunette.

Beca's arms snake around her back and hug tightly. A groan comes rumbling out of Beca and Chloe's actually surprised that there wasn't any groping or a particular reason for the noise. "You smell so fucking good"

Chloe laughs softly when she figures it out and she moves back slightly, catching Beca's lips in a quick kiss before she leans back and looks at her girlfriend "You do too. And you look totally hot"

"Oh right" Beca's hands move to her hips and shove her back from the brunette. " _That_ is a better outfit" Beca says, staring down at the dress. Chloe exhales loudly, she almost thought Beca was angry at her.

"Thanks ba...Beca"

Beca chuckles and pulls her hips back roughly, Chloe falls forward into the kiss from Beca, her mind was racing as she tries to get control over the tongue moving along hers in a more desperate, hard manner. Beca seems to be going for something that can't happen, again.

Chloe pushes her hands against Beca's ribcage and pushes the brunette back, breaking the kiss. Beca's eyes move down again and Chloe swallows hard. "We should..probably go to the party"

"Lets just stay" Beca tries to move forward and Chloe straightens her arm out, keeping Beca at a distance.

"Beca, please. I'm not.."

"Ready. I know" Beca turns her head away and closes her eyes for a moment. "Okay…" Beca's eyes open and return to her "Not horny anymore"

Chloe huffs a laugh and shakes her head "I don't believe that for a second, but thank you for understanding. I just… I want to be sure you're really…. serious about me" Chloe brings her bottom lip back between her teeth nervously as she searches Beca's face for approval.

Beca nods slowly and reaches up to Chloe's hand to take it away from the brunette's stomach, holding it softly. "I'm serious about you" There was a flash of a blank faced stare before a smile spreads across Beca's lips and settles Chloe's nerves.

"Kay. Lets go?" Chloe smiles and turns around, holding onto Beca's hand as she leads them out. She looks back when Beca drops her hand as she swings the door open.

"Outside" Beca shrugs and Chloe makes it clear she realized what it was about then she turns and walks out, without being able to hold onto her girlfriend's hand as they walked side by side. Which really sucks. She has to be separated from Beca at all times while they're outside. And it was _great_ being able to be outside with Beca. But going from kissing and cuddling to just...nothing was hard for her to grasp. She wishes she could read Beca's mind to know how it felt for the brunette.

Beca kept a foot away from her at all times, even when they got to the party. But she stays a foot away. She doesn't leave or move closer, which was strangely comforting to know that Beca wanted to stay close even when they can't touch.

"Becaw!" Both of the girls turn around to the yelling Jesse as he approaches them with three cups in his hands. "Got you guys some drinks because I knew exactly when you were gonna show up" Beca takes the middle cup so he didn't drop them and Chloe smiles at her before taking the cup Jesse offers. "You guys were pretty good today"

"Thanks. You were seriously amazing though. I'm not gonna be surprised when you guys beat us" Chloe says as she takes a gulp of the drink. Beca turns to her with a strange look, but nothing more came of it, Beca hadn't said anything.

"Well yeah. Of course we're gonna kick your asses" Jesse grins and takes a drink.

Chloe huffs out a laughter and looks over at Beca, who was clenching her jaw now. "Becs?"

Beca looks over at her quickly and the anger dissipates. "Hmm?"

"You okay?" Chloe moves her hand up and stops, then takes it back and moves the cup to that hand so she doesn't let herself touch Beca. Who looks like she really does need a good hand holding.

"Yeah. I'm good." Beca looks up at Jesse as he watches a rowdy group cheering, then she looks over at the group of guys as they start jumping and blasting Run DMC.

"Oh hot damn, Beca!"

"Don't say-"

"This is my jam!" Jesse laughs loudly and starts moving backwards towards the group, pointing at Beca until he starts jumping and turning around.

Chloe watches with an amused smile and turns to Beca shaking her head in second-hand embarrassment. "He's hilarious"

"He's an idiot" Beca says, turning her body towards Chloe and clinking their cups together before knocking back everything in the cup.

"Wow. Slow down. We don't wanna make it a rager as soon as we get here, baby" Chloe freezes when she holds the cup to her mouth and sees the smirk on Beca's face after she fails to catch the word "Sorry. It came out fast"

"I bet. Does it come out fast every time, or just when you're super excited?" Beca's amused smirk gets Chloe to roll her eyes and smack her hand against the brunette's arm. They stare at each other for a while after Chloe lowers the cup again, a different mood settling in between them.

"Can I ask why you got a little weird just before?"

"You can ask, but do I have to answer?" Beca turns her head away slowly, leaving Chloe to move her tongue around in her mouth while she tries to process Beca's apprehensiveness. Chloe's gaze joins Beca in looking away at the surrounding party goers. A sigh from Beca makes her look back and find the dark blue eyes staring back at her. "Look, I just… hearing him talk about kicking your ass just pissed me off, okay? And it wasn't even a good reason to get pissed, so I didn't say anything."

Chloe exhales and relaxes slightly, giving Beca a supportive smile "I'm sorry for bringing it up, it just worried me"

"I get it, it's okay" Beca reaches forward to take her cup and drink from it, then she lowers it, looks at Chloe again and decides to drink it all.

Chloe's eyes falter before she looks down. Beca was obviously going through something today, and now she was going to drink her way out of it. When she looks back up, Beca was putting a cup into the other.

"I'm gonna get us some more drinks. Do you want the same?" Beca waits for Chloe's small nod to move away. All she can do is stand there watching her girlfriend walk away to get more alcohol so she can get off her face instead of just _talking_ about what was going on.

"What up Gingernut" Chloe turns her head to look at Amy with Aubrey at her side.

"Hey guys! Beca's just gone to get some drinks" Chloe points off in the direction Beca walked off to as she smiles at the two blondes.

"Bumper's off in the group of homoerotic humping" Amy points off to a group and when Chloe turns to look, the Australian wasn't lying. The guys were actually dancing in a really weird humping motion. "I think they think it's called the Humpy dance"

"I'm pretty sure it's really obvious there's a T in there" Aubrey says, staring over at the guys "They just want any reason to get gay"

"Maybe that's why he wants to stick it up my poopshoot"

Chloe and Aubrey both turn to Amy after she talks and the amused smile on her face tells them that it was a joke. At least Chloe hopes it is. She doesn't need that visual. Chloe shakes her head and looks at Aubrey, taking the blonde's attention off Amy "Where's Stace?"

"She's.." Aubrey's eyes move over Chloe's shoulder "Talking to your girlfriend"

Chloe turns around and finds Beca talking to Stacie, she smiles when she thinks of her girlfriend trying to be friends with her friends. It was cute that Beca was trying. She turns back to Aubrey again "That's sweet, isn't it? I hope she joins the Bella's"

"Yeah.." Aubrey's eyes were still on the talking girls behind Chloe.

"Are you getting jealous? There's really no need" Chloe steps to the side to cut Aubrey's view off.

"Maybe there is" Amy says. Chloe furrows her eyebrows and turns around again, the two girls looked like they were just talking. There was no touching, no leaning in. No pervy staring from Beca. "They're talking about showers"

"How do you know?"

"I can read lips"

"Pff" Chloe says, giving Amy an incredulous look, then turning back to Aubrey, who was gone. When she turns around again, Aubrey was approaching Beca and Stacie.

"Is it weird that I wanna see this end in a fight?" Amy says, Chloe ignores her and follows Aubrey quickly. When she gets to the girls, there was an awkward tension in the air.

"Lets go dance, babe" Stacie says, taking hold of Aubrey's hand and dragging the blonde away.

The quick exit was making Chloe nervous, and when she looks back to Beca, the brunette was drinking and watching the two girls leaving. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Beca's hand moves out with the other cup and Chloe takes it without drinking.

"Are you sure?"

Beca takes a small step closer and keeps a stare locked on Chloe's eyes "I really wanna dance with you"

"Can we do that?" Chloe slumps slightly when Beca shakes her head.

"Told you it'd be fucking horrible with me" Beca shrugs and brings the cup back up to drink again. Chloe reaches forward to the cup, stopping Beca from turning into an alcoholic for the night.

"Lets go back to your dorm and dance" Chloe smiles softly and Beca shakes her head

"You shouldn't have to do that"

"I agreed to this relationship, Beca. I know the rules, and I know what it means to be with you. Please? I wanna dance with you"

Beca sighs loudly and takes the cup from Chloe, then walks away and drops them into the trash before turning to look at Chloe with raised eyebrows. Chloe smiles again and approaches Beca, who starts walking backwards and watching her as they move "You know… I really don't deserve you"

Chloe huffs out a laugh as she watches Beca, her eyes glance down to make sure there were no obstacles or people coming up behind the brunette and move back to the dark blue eyes staring back at her. "You totally do, Becs. You deserve a big hug from me for trying to make friends with Stacie, too."

"Oh, is that her name? I forgot it." Beca smirks at her and Chloe rolls her eyes.

"You have a horrible memory for names"

"I know. What's yours again? It's Jenny, right?" Beca points at her and Chloe swipes her hand up to smack the back of the brunette's hand.

"You're an ass"

"And you've got a great ass" Beca winks and stops walking for a moment to turn around and join her at her side to walk. "Remind me to get handsy when we're dancing"

"I don't think I'll need to remind you, your hands seem to have a mind of their own" Chloe's urge to move closer gets worse when Beca walks beside her.

"This is true, they do. And paired with my mouth? A total nightmare for any girl who I have my eyes set on" Beca glances over at her, making her look and catch Beca staring down at her chest. Chloe reaches up with her hand to cover the top of the dress and get Beca's eyes back up to meet hers. "What? I can't even look now?"

"Oh, you can look all you want, Becs. But I have a feeling _that_ look is going to be followed up by those hands getting a little too handsy"

"You can tell all of that by a look, huh?"

"You licked your lips"

"I had to lick something, at least it wasn't you" Beca smirks and turns to face forward "Yet."

Chloe laughs softly, nervously, really. When she looks up at the dorm building, she feels the hesitation building inside of her. The flirtation had ended up more like dirty talk, and that makes her think Beca was going to step over the line again. Then there was Beca's silence as they made their way inside. There was a cloudy sense of sexual doom when they approached the door. Chloe had to focus hard on keeping Beca in line from this moment.

When they walk into the room, Chloe closes the door and faces it for a few moments, catching her breath and turning around when music enters the room. Beca steps into the middle of the room and raises an eyebrow to Chloe. She swallows the lump in her throat as she approaches the brunette and moves her hands up to Beca's shoulders.

Beca's hands rest on her hip and starts to sway them to the slow song. Chloe recognized the song as soon as it started. It was the mix Beca made for her when they first met. Which she's had on repeat since. "Chloe"

Chloe tenses slightly, readying herself to reject Beca's attempt at initiating sex "Yes?"

"I, um… I really want this to work between us. And I know it's early as hell, but.. Would you consider doing something for me?"

Chloe chews at her lip for a second before she nods and feels Beca's body moving away. She watches as the brunette pulls out a drawer and reaches in. The condom drawer, no less. "Bec.."

Beca turns back to her and stuns her into silence when she moves forward holding a ring. "It isn't an engagement thing or anything like that, I'm not a freak. It's… it's supposed to be a promise ring, but I'm not really… well neither of us are virgins, that ship has long since sailed. It's… to me, a promise that you're going to be just mine. And to you, it can be a promise that… I really, really like you even though I can't show it at all when we're around people"

Chloe's heart was beating rapidly when she watches Beca's mouth talking. She heard the words, but they just haven't quite processed yet, and they still didn't process when Beca was pushing the ring onto her _wedding_ _finger_. Chloe stares down at it and a long silence sets into the room.

Beca reaches forward again and tugs on the ring, making Chloe pull her hand back, pressing it against her chest to keep it from Beca. "I thought… you didn't wan-"

"I want it. I do. I really do. I really, really do" Chloe moves her other hand up to touch the ring on her finger, making sure that it wasn't just some hallucination. "I promise to you that I'm yours. Just yours"

"And I promise you.." Beca moves forward again, stopping inches from Chloe's lips. "That I really wish I could be with you all the time, no matter who was around"

"I know you do, Becs" Chloe's eyes drop to Beca's lips just before Beca closes the gap between them in a gentle kiss that ends up after a moment.

Beca's hands move back onto Chloe's hips "Now lets finish this dance" Chloe's eyebrow twitches with her amused smile growing. Beca hadn't been sexual at all, it was slightly weird.

Chloe rests her forearms on Beca's shoulders, moving her thumb to play with the ring as they start swaying again. No one has given her a ring before. Beca was going to constantly surprise her, she can just feel it. The candles on their date, the ring, putting up with her movies. Or just putting up with her in general. Beca didn't seem like the type to ever be around people like Chloe, and the difference made her weary at first, and rightfully so, Beca was a turd at first, but Beca embraced it, literally. Beca moves closer in that moment and Chloe's arms wrap around the brunette's neck in a still hug.

Chloe's eyes close when the hug shows no sign of ending and she turns her head to face down into Beca's neck.

"I have the perfect mix in my mind"

"Hmm?" Chloe asks against Beca's neck

"A song mix. I need...can you just give me a bit?"

Chloe moves her head up to look at the brunette and reluctantly takes her arms from Beca, watching her smile and move across the room to the desk. The music shuts off and Chloe's disappointment doesn't last long, Beca actually looks excited as she clicks around on the laptop. Chloe sits down on the bed, keeping her eyes on her girlfriend.

Beca pulls on the headphones and her eyes dart around the screen while clicking and moving the mouse around. Chloe leans to the side on her hand, enthralled by Beca's mixing mode.

Beca looked content when she mixes, happy, even. Not that Beca wasn't happy outside of mixing, but there were moments when sadness would shine through the dark blue eyes. Beca was a constant happy when she mixes though, there was never any sign that Beca was going through something. Which Chloe forgot to ask about, but maybe she won't need to now.

* * *

Chloe ended up moving back and sitting against the wall as she watched Beca work, she could hear tiny bursts of music when Beca would replay a part over and over again. The music was nowhere near loud enough for her to actually know what anything was. Beca looks adorable though, she'd whisper something under her breath and start clicking again then play it back.

Chloe doesn't know how much time went by until Beca takes off the headphones and leans back into the chair. "That was harder than I thought it'd be" Beca says, turning to meet Chloe's stare. "Sorry"

"It's okay, when inspiration strikes, you need to go for it. I'm just glad I got to see you in your element. Definitely sexy" Chloe smiles widely and looks at the laptop "Can I hear it?"

"Not yet.. it's still a little…" Beca moves her hand up and pushes the laptop back slightly "Unfinished. Come here"

Chloe pushes her hands into the mattress to move forward and stops herself, narrowing her eyes at Beca "Why?"

Beca shrugs with a smirk. Chloe takes notice of Beca pushing the laptop off to the side and she relaxes her arms to stay seated on the bed. "Come on, Chloe. I'm not gonna fuck you on the desk"

"I don't know about that, you have that look in your eye"

"I don't have a look in my eye"

"You definitely do. I know that look" Chloe looks down at the bed "Besides, this bed is totally comfy"

Beca reclines the chair slightly and pats her lap. "I'm more comfy"

"I agree. But you're less safe"

"Less safe? What are you worried about me doing?"

Chloe takes her bottom lip between her teeth as she watches Beca's confusion "It isn't… what you'd do, Beca"

"Oh, yes please"

Chloe huffs out a laugh and turns away. "I am so not coming over there"

Beca sighs loudly, and Chloe can almost hear the smile on the brunette's face. "Alright, but you're missing out. I'm gonna have to just feel myself up and imagine they're your hands"

"You wanna borrow the ring for..what was it, fifteen minutes?" Chloe grins over at Beca

"Nah. I can imagine it's last night when you were against the wall and...oh man. Now I've turned myself on" Beca shifts on the chair and grimaces.

Chloe laughs and finds even _more_ reason not to move off the bed. "Sucks for you, babe"

"God, you're the least supportive girlfriend ever" Beca strains when she talks and leans forward on the chair.

"I'm very supportive, I'm just not humoring your dirty mind"

Chloe's smile fades a little when Beca starts taking off her plaid shirt. "What are you doing?"

"It's hot in here" Beca says, reaching a hand out with the shirt in it and dropping it to the floor.

Chloe's eyes follow Beca's hand, swallowing when the brunette starts playing with the bottom of the white top. "No it isn't"

"It is if you're in my mind" Beca's voice hits a deeper tone and Chloe looks up to the dark eyes staring back at her. "You wanna come over here yet?"

Chloe shakes her head slowly and she has to avoid looking down at Beca's hands moving, her breaths become deeper when she hears the zip moving. "Bec… don't"

"I'm not doing anything to you, I'm just… getting a little sexual frustration out" Beca's tongue darts out and back in again, then the brunette pushes a hand into the top of the open jeans. Chloe's palms push into the quilt cover and her fists close around the material. Beca exhales loudly and Chloe's mouth opens, then hangs open when her eyes drop to the moving hand under the jeans.

Chloe was speechless for once. She was rarely speechless. Her heartbeat was so rapid that it made her hands shake with fistfuls of sheets. Beca lets out another loud breath and leans back into the chair. Chloe still couldn't find words. Even when Beca's hips start moving and moaning quietly. All she could do was stare.

"Chloe" Beca's eyes were closed when the whisper escapes, so she missed Chloe's face flushing into red. "Right there" Chloe swallows hard and lets out a shaky, long breath. "Fuck"

Chloe's urge to fly across the room and replace Beca's hand with her own was ridiculously hard to control. Especially when Beca's movements gain speed. Chloe can't let go of the sheets, as soon as she does, she's going to give in, this was keeping her anchored.

A loud groan escapes Beca and Chloe's heart stops when the brunette's back arches against the arm pointed down into the jeans. "Fuck!" Beca's hips start bucking rapidly and then slow down with Beca's breathing. "Oh, shit" Beca's tongue moves out again, wetting the lips that Chloe was craving right now.

When Beca's eyes open and find Chloe's stare, the knowing smirk makes Chloe drop her gaze to her lap and swallow.

"You're really good at that, Chloe"

"Don't….talk. Just… just for a minute" A quiet laugh comes from Beca and Chloe has to close her eyes to focus, which becomes impossible when she feels the mattress dip. Her body tenses against the wall, then there's a tongue against her lips, making her mouth open and let it in. The kiss was welcomed with an exhale through her nose and a loud moan. Her hands cling tightly to the sheets in an attempt at control. Beca's hand presses against her breast and Chloe turns her face away quickly, breaking the kiss. "Stop stop stop"

Beca's hand moves away from her and Chloe lets out her erratic breathing after holding onto it. Her control was slowly coming back again and Beca's hand moves up to the side of her neck, forcing her eyes closed. "I've stopped, Chloe. It's okay"

Chloe takes a few minutes to calm back down from her almost second mistake. When she relaxes her hands and looks at Beca, the brunette looks back at her with a guilty smile. " _You're_ the least supportive girlfriend"

Beca laughs softly and kisses Chloe quickly, moving back just as fast and turning to sit next to Chloe against the wall. "Sorry, but at least I didn't direct my frustration at you, right?"

"You kinda did. You did that with me sitting _right_ here" Chloe turns her head to the side to watch Beca's proud smile grow.

Beca shrugs happily and looks back at Chloe "Now you know what I do when you leave"

"I hate you" Chloe huffs and turns away "Butthead"

Beca's lips press against Chloe's cheek for a moment "You wanna dance some more?"

"Mm. Okay." Chloe shifts forward on the bed and looks back when Beca stands up and moves against her. "Aren't you gonna turn on music?"

"You're all the music I need, sing something"

Chloe smiles softly and wraps her arms around Beca's neck when the brunette moves closer. "Um… I don't know what to sing"

"Know the words to Nine Inch Nails Closer?"

"I am _not_ singing that"

Beca chuckles and squeezes Chloe's hips gently "There's gotta be thousands of songs in that head of yours"

"There is, but I can't really think after seeing…" Chloe smacks her hand against the brunette's back when she sees the smirk again.

"That really was a great idea. I bet you're incredibly turned on right now" Beca's eyes move downward

"Beca" Chloe warns, getting her girlfriend's eyes back on her "No. Bad."

"I know, I know. Keep my hands off your draws or whatever that was"

"Keep your filthy paws off my silky draws" Chloe smiles widely at Beca's attempt at a Grease reference. "You're so cute"

"You're fucking sexy" Beca brings out a sigh from Chloe.

"Why is everything so dirty to you?"

"Because I saw you watching me and now all I can think about is having you against that wall and it's actually causing me pain not being able to" Beca's smirk fades when Chloe's disappointment shows. "Hey, I wasn't actually serious. I just… you know, I thought it was funny or something. You were smiling at my attempts to get your hand down my pants and-"

"I'm not upset at you, Beca. I'm upset at me. I've been really… I've been too sexual, I guess. I wanna be a good girlfriend for you, not one that keeps you frustra-" Beca's lips land on hers, taking her out of her mind.

Beca moves back slightly, leaving their lips almost touching "Shut up Chloe, you're fucking awesome" Their lips meet again and Chloe smiles into it, it only takes Beca six words to make her feel completely better again.


	7. Chapter 7

Beca opens one of her eyes and then the other, she was on Chloe's side of the bed, and she feels the redhead pressed against her back. This was an odd, but welcome change. She felt different being the little spoon though, like she was submissive somehow. Beca sits up slowly, moving her legs out off the side of the bed. Her eyes move back to look down at the sleeping redhead before she stands and moves over to turn her phone on and look at the time. 2:30am.

She swipes at her phone and glances over at Chloe before tapping into a text message 'Are you awake?' Beca holds the volume down to silence her phone after she sends it so she doesn't wake her girlfriend.

 _'yeah, whats up?'_

She moves over to sit down on the desk chair, holding her phone out in front of her in her hands. 'Just thinking. Where are you?'

 _'bree's room'_

'Can you get out of there?'

 _'beca we shouldnt do this'_

'Shower stall. 10 minutes'

Beca looks over at Chloe again and swallows her guilt down before deleting the messages and getting up to move out of the room slowly.

Beca walks into the bathroom and stands at the sink, staring at herself in the mirror "What the fuck are you doing, idiot" she mutters to herself, she looks down at the water and turns on the heat, waiting until it steams in front of her. Then she pushes her wrist underneath the stream and draws in a sharp breath when the water burns her. Her fist clenches and she waits a moment until she shakes from the pain and has to pull back. Her wrist was red and shaking as she holds it up in front of her. The sound of the door closing pulls her attention away and she turns to find Stacie rushing towards her, Beca actually expected the brunette to punch her, but they end up kissing against the sink.

Beca pushes forward and leads Stacie backwards until she's pressed against the wall, her fingers pull at the cord knotted into a bow around Stacie's pyjama shorts, and her hand pushes its way inside the brunette's underwear. A moan escapes from Stacie as soon as Beca enters her with a finger. "Didn't take you long to come in here"

Stacie's hands slide up the wall slowly, coming to a stop when Beca's other hand moves up and pushes against one of the wrists, half pinning the brunette to the wall. "I… I can't do this" Stacie says, Beca smirks and feels the arousal on her finger growing, allowing her to add a second finger, which the brunette takes with a louder moan.

"Is that what you came in here to tell me? You can't get fucked like this anymore?" Beca whispers against Stacie's neck before biting down. The taller girl loses control and starts grinding against Beca's hand as she curls her fingers and thrusts faster.

"Yes!" Stacie was louder this time around, she was quiet when Beca fucked her in the shower, but this time Stacie was embracing the sex. Beca releases her bite and looks down hoping that the mark doesn't stay for long otherwise Stacie was definitely never gonna fuck her again. Risk of being caught out and all.

The pool of Stacie's arousal starts flooding Beca's palm when her fingers start curling and pulling Stacie closer to her orgasm. Beca's grip around Stacie's wrist tightens when the moaning starts getting out of control and Stacie's body tenses.

The orgasm must have ripped through Stacie's body hard, the taller girl's body was twitching as Beca helps ride it out with her fingers. Stacie's hips stop rocking and they stare at each other for a moment, Beca smirking as she takes her fingers out of of Stacie. "Thanks" she says as her hand comes out of the shorts.

"Why are you doing this to Chloe?"

Beca inhales deeply and lets go of Stacie's hand before she moves across the room to wash her hands. "Why are you doing it to whatshername?"

"Aubrey."

"Yeah." Beca looks up into the mirror at Stacie, smirking to herself when she looks back down again, soaping her hands up.

"This isn't something that I'm proud of doing. I have problems with controlling my need for sex, and then you just….show up almost naked in my shower and… this. I don't do this"

Beca raises her eyebrows and looks up again while rinsing her hands off. "Really? Because it seems like you've done it twice now"

"It can't happen again"

"Hm." Beca shakes her hands and turns off the water, then she turns around and leans against the sink. "I guess I won't be seeing you in here tomorrow then"

"You won't be" Stacie takes a second to stare back at Beca before moving out of the bathroom, leaving Beca huffing out a laugh and looking down at her wrist, then her smile fades. The guilt was worse this time around, not horrible enough to go spouting off about fucking someone else, but it was there, hanging over her head. Beca pushes off the sink and turns around to reach for the heat again.

* * *

Beca closes the door quietly and turns around to find the redhead still asleep, she watches for a moment, feeling the guilt cloud growing. Then she shakes her head quickly and moves across the room to her laptop, bringing it back to the edge, she puts her headphones on and clicks on her misogyny playlist. This is the one she runs to every time she feels bad for having sex. The one that puts her in the mindset that she needs to be in to get away with using women.

She leans back in the chair and closes her eyes, letting herself think about sex with Stacie and then sex with Chloe after. Then the other way around, and even both at the same time, which gets her smirking. This was the sign she needed. She was in the zone again. She takes her headphones off and shuts her laptop down, then crawls over the bed to get in behind Chloe, wrapping her arm over the redhead's side and holding her possessively.

She knows she's got problems. And she doesn't think of herself as an abuse victim all of the time, but when she watched her father using her mother as some kind of slave for him, she grew an understanding about how relationships tend to work. Until her mother was gone. Then he replaced her with her step-mother and treated her exactly the same. But her step-mother was as far into religion as he was and knew where a woman's place was. A stay at home baby-maker who cooks and cleans and never strays from the Bible. They had a daughter that Beca surprisingly gets along with. They both agreed their parents were fucking nuts, but at least her sister wasn't gay.

Which is just a whole new level of fucked up. She acts like a man when it comes to women, using them for sex and then asking for forgiveness. She was basically a gay girl version of her father, sticking it into any woman he can and then repenting and going home to his wife.

Beca clenches her jaw at her realization and rolls onto her back so she doesn't have to stare at the back of her _girlfriend_. Who she just ironically gave a fucking ring to. She was her father without his need to beat his wife. Not yet anyway. How long would it be until she turns into him completely? She just spent a shower _praying_ yesterday.

Beca turns onto her other side and stares at the wall, then punches the wall, the pain rings out into her fist as she holds it against the wall. Her eyes closed, letting herself focus on the punishment, when the pain subsides, she punches the wall again. The process lasts until Chloe sits up behind her and she pulls her hand back quickly, hiding it under the covers.

"What is that?" the redhead asks, turning back to look down at her with a sleepy look. Beca smiles slightly at the sight of Chloe looking down at her with messy hair and tired eyes.

"What was what? You were dreaming" Beca watches as Chloe hums and plops back down onto the bed with a sigh. Beca huffs a laugh in reaction and sighs after a moment, turning over towards Chloe and wrapping her arm around the redhead again.

* * *

"Beca!" Beca's eyes spring open and she looks up at Chloe above her, the concern written across the redhead's face made her look like she was about to wrap Beca in bubble wrap or something.

"What?" Beca goes to move her hands up to rub her face and feels a resistance on one, Chloe has hold of it and lifts it up.

"This, Beca" Chloe's voice was stern, and kind of sexy, really. Beca smirks up at the redhead "No. Don't do that, not now"

"Don't do what? You're hot" Chloe shoves at her hand and gets up off the bed, then Beca sighs and sits up, moving to the edge of the bed and moving her legs off the side. "What's your problem?"

"What did you do to your hand?" Chloe says, standing in the middle of the room and looking super serious.

Beca leans back onto her hands "I hit something accidentally. It's really no big deal"

"How do you hit the wall accidentally, Beca?" Chloe's voice changes into a more irritated tone and Beca turns to look behind her, finding the marks on the wall from her knuckles.

"Okay. So I didn't hit it accidentally" Beca turns back to Chloe and stands up off the bed "I hit it on purpose. I got… I was having a nightmare and just… blam"

"Oh." Chloe looks down between them and does her nervous little lip chew thing that makes Beca smile.

"It's better that I hit the wall and not you, really. I'd take that over anything. I'd seriously fucking hate myself if that happened. And I kinda do just because of the last one" Beca approaches the redhead slowly and moves her hand out.

Chloe takes her hand and offers a small smile. "I'm sorry, I thought… I thought after yesterday, you were doing it to hurt yourself"

"What happened yesterday?"

"The shower thing? When you were practically burning your skin off"

Beca laughs and tugs on Chloe's hand, bringing the redhead closer. "That was an accident, I didn't think it was that hot and I was just… in my head"

"Promise?"

"Promise" Beca leans in quickly and kisses Chloe. She couldn't risk looking disappointed in herself for lying. Adding to the list of shitty things that she's doing. She wants to change for Chloe. But the list was growing longer and it felt impossible at this point.

Chloe moves back and smiles "Do you wanna go get coffee?"

"Yeah. Sure. Let's go shower and change and meet back here in ...tweenty?" Beca draws out the last word with a questioning look and Chloe huffs a laugh and nods. "Awesome. Don't be late or I'll be forced to spank you"

"You can't do anything without one pervy comment, you know" Chloe leans in and kisses Beca's cheek lightly "I love it" the redhead whispers before moving back and leaving before Beca can fire back with a reply. She'll let Chloe have that one.

* * *

Being outside with Chloe was hard, only for the constant worry that they looked _together_. She was repeatedly making sure that she was far enough and never, ever came into contact with the redhead. Which is a lot harder than it sounds when she makes Chloe laugh, or even smile. Being outside might make the urges worse for her. The need for freedom, or whatever. It sucked.

They were sitting outside at a campus café with their coffees on the table in front of them, Chloe made the joke about Beca needing to order because the redhead wasn't _allowed_ to. And although Beca laughed it off, she was reminded of her turning into her father.

Beca stares out at the courtyard, watching the students walking around, then she sees a guy and does a double-take when she realized it's her father. "Fuck. Shit!" Beca stands up quickly and grabs her coffee, rushing inside. Chloe watched her leave in confusion, Beca could see it through the window when she stands inside the café freaking out because now she's trapped _inside_.

She sees Chloe looking around and stand up, then her breathing holds. But instead of moving inside, Chloe picks up her coffee and walks away _towards_ her father. She steps forward as if she was going to stop the redhead, but she can't. She stands there frozen and watches her father and Chloe talk to each other. Chloe somehow ended up on the other side of her father, getting him to turn and face away from the café. Beca took a moment to realize what the maneuver was, then she moves outside and around the building until she's out of sight and now freaking out about not being able to make sure Chloe's safe from her fucking _father_.

"Shit." She whispers harshly to herself as she throws the coffee into the café dumpster and looks down at her shaking hands, then turning her hand over to look at the cuts on her knuckles.

Minutes pass, a lot of minutes pass when Beca hears her phone sound off, she grabs it from her pocket quickly to check the text from Chloe _'He's in the café so I'm walking back to the dorm. Where are you? Are you okay? Please be okay'_ Beca swallows and walks behind the café, checking the side of the building before she steps out and walks quickly.

'On my way. I'm fine. Are you?'

 _'I'm good. We just talked about Luke'_

'I'm sorry'

 _'It's okay, really. Walk faster though, I'm bored'_

Beca laughs down at her phone 'I'm freaking out here and you're cracking jokes?'

 _'Baby, you don't need to freak out. We're just two friends getting coffee while our boyfriends are in class'_

'He won't see it that way, Chloe'

 _'He might'_

'There's no way he'd trust me around a girl again. I'm walking into the building now, gimme a minute'

Beca enters the corridor and freezes when she sees Aubrey and Stacie at her door talking to Chloe. She jumps back around the corner, peeking out to watch the three of them. It isn't like Stacie's just going to pop up and say she's fucking Beca. But it's fucking awkward to see the girl you're dating and the girl you're fucking talking. And then with added awkward, Aubrey was there.

Beca watches for a few minutes and sees Chloe looking down at her phone and typing. "Damn it Chloe, just get the fuck rid of them" she whispers as she moves back behind the corner and looks down at her phone ' _Becs, where are you?'_

'Peeing.'

 _'I didn't see you go into the bathroom'_

'I'm in the bathroom near the building entrance'

 _'Omg you're so slow'_

'And you're slowing me down by talking to me before I can release my stream'

 _'LOL gross hurry up'_

Beca sighs and peeks out from the corner again, seeing Chloe's smile makes her smile and then stop herself from smiling. This was no time to think your girlfriend is perfection when she's three feet from _Stacie_. Beca's jaw clenches and she moves back again, leaning her head back against the wall. Then moving her head forward and back again. "What the fuck do I do?" she whispers to herself, then she looks over and catches the eye of a blonde girl watching her with an amused grin.

Beca stares for a moment, shocked that she's even considering this right now. Her heartbeat hurt when it punched against her chest. She turns slightly and looks towards the corner, then moves off the wall and walks right by the girl, heading out of the building instead. She couldn't be near any temptation.

* * *

 _'Beca, seriously where are you?'_

 _'I can't find you in the toilet, is this a game of hide and seek?'_

 _'Your non-answer doesn't even tell me'_

 _'I'm starting to worry, Becs, please'_

 _'I'll be in my dorm. Please message me, or call me, or even show up'_

Beca groans as she walks into the bathroom after going all over the campus to avoid being anywhere near the three girls. Surely by now, they'd be gone. She stands at the sink again and turns on the hot water, preparing herself by staring down at it starting to steam.

"You okay?"

Beca opens her eyes and looks at the mirror in front of her, catching Stacie's stare back at her reflection. "Yeah. You?" The bathroom had a few other girls in it, so the possibility of her taking Stacie against that wall again was slim.

"Yep" Stacie says, awkwardly shifting her weight to the other leg. "Look, about last night"

"Not gonna happen again, I get it" Beca shrugs and turns off the water before turning around to face the taller girl.

Stacie glances around the bathroom and then back to Beca "Please don't say anything, if Bree found out"

"I won't. Ever. Believe me, the last thing I wanna do is tell Chloe that I fucked her best friend's girlfriend" Beca says quietly, approaching the girl so Stacie could hear her.

"Yeah, and the last thing _I_ need is for you to fucking say it out of anger at one of us. I'll keep my mouth shut if you do"

"You think I'm going to get pissed and say _Oh hey. I fucked Stacie twice_? I'm not a giant fucking asshole"

"Really, Beca? Because you fucked me twice behind Chloe's back, don't you think that makes you an asshole?"

Beca reels for a minute before she moves forward and grabs Stacie's top, then walking and pulling the brunette into a stall and closing the curtain. Their lips meet in a rough kiss that ends in Stacie being slammed against the tiled wall. Beca was on her again after a second and working her way into Stacie's underwear under the skirt. "I'm not the only one fucking behind someone's back, Stacie" she says as she enters the brunette.

* * *

Beca had to listen to the playlist as soon as she sat down at her desk and it took over an hour to work, trying to blast new feelings into herself. She ends up texting Chloe eventually 'Hey. Sorry. Call from Jesse, he needed some emergency help. Sorry I didn't text, he was upset'

 _'Oh no. Is he okay?'_

'Damn, were you sitting on the phone? Is that what you do when I'm not there?'

 _'Beca. Is Jesse okay?'_

'He's fine. Back to the vibrator phone'

 _'I'm glad to hear it. I got really worried'_

'I said I was sorry. Come down here and let me kiss you better'

 _'I guess I can do that'_

'Your enthusiasm makes me feel so hot'

 _'LOL good. That was so my intention ;) see you in a minute baby'_

Beca turns off the playlist and takes her headphones off. She walks over to the door and pulls it open, then leans against the open door until Chloe comes into view and makes her smile. Beca nods toward the room and Chloe walks by her with a shaking head. Beca closes the door and rushes up behind the redhead, wrapping her arms around Chloe's stomach.

"That isn't a kiss, Becs" Chloe says, holding her forearms over Beca's.

"Oh, my bad. Where do you want my lips?" Beca kisses the back of Chloe's shoulder, hitting the material from the dress Chloe has on.

"I get a choice? Hmm.." Chloe relaxes back into Beca's arms and turns her head slightly "Kiss my neck"

Beca hesitates for a second, suddenly feeling that cloud of regret moving closer towards her mind. She leans down and places a kiss against Chloe's neck, getting an exhale from the redhead that gets her to loosen her arms and drop them from Chloe. "So now that's out of the way, how about we watch something?"

Chloe's pout when she turns around makes Beca raise her eyebrows with a grin "Really?"

"I thought you were gonna make it up to me, not just give me a little peck and leave me hanging"

Beca sighs softly and steps forward, leaving her hands at her sides when she leans in and kisses Chloe's neck, parting her lips slightly to kiss it again. Her tongue releases from her lips and moves up the length of the redhead's neck until it reaches the jawline, which she kisses. When she moves back again, Chloe looks back at her with that sexual desire that Beca was expecting to see. Beca backs up again before Chloe can act on it "How's that?"

" _So_ much better" Chloe smiles and reaches up, wiping at the line where Beca licked.

"Not gonna keep that for a reminder?" Beca says, moving around Chloe to the desk so she can pick it up and move to the bed. Chloe joins her after she's settled and sits close enough so their arms were touching. Beca feels more like shit now than she did before. Three times. First time could have been just written off as her freaking out. But three? She was really embracing turning into her father.

"Hey" Chloe brings her out of her mind and she looks over at the redhead "What's wrong?" Beca notices that she's been frowning and tries to smile as she clicks at her laptop

"Nothing. I'm good, just thinking of something to watch. But I don't do movies, so… you know, coming up dry" Beca taps her fingertips against the laptop before picking it up and moving it onto Chloe's lap, avoiding looking up at her girlfriend.

"Beca"

"Please just…. choose something" Beca had to hold her irritation down, she could feel it rising and when she catches sight of the back of her hand, it reminds her that she needs to keep herself in check, it was risky to lose it around Chloe. If she did _anything_ to Chloe, she'd die.

"No." Beca looks up at the redhead, seeing Chloe's arms crossed over her chest in protest. "I'm not going to do anything until you tell me what the hell is going on with you. You've been in this weird downward spiral for like...twenty four hours. You talked to me before, you opened up to me and now you're just… you're gone again and it's scaring me because you've been burning yourself and punching things"

Beca turns her gaze down to her lap with a sigh. Chloe isn't stupid and it won't take the redhead long to figure out what Beca's been doing, but she'll draw it out anyway, waiting until that very last second. "I, um.. I'm my father" Beca swallows as she stares down at her knee.

"What do you mean?" Chloe's voice was soft, completely different to her little freak out.

"I mean… I'm my father. I am him." Beca swings her arm up in frustration and starts shifting towards the edge of the bed, standing up so she can start pacing back and forth as she talks "He's abusive, I'm abusive, mostly just to me, but how long is it going to be until it's not just to me? And then I fucking _prayed_. I prayed for this feeling to leave. I wanted to stop falling for you and I tried to fucking pray it away. Only it didn't fucking work because it's all bullshit! Everything is fucking bullshit!" Beca swings her arm out against the closet door, smacking her palm into it with a thump. Then she exhales loudly. "He uses the Bible as an excuse to use women as these half beings, just there for being mothers and wives. He's an adulterer but that's fine because at least he's lying with women and not men. And then he asks for forgiveness and assumes it's fucking granted because that is _all_ Christians do" Beca smacks the door again, then curls her fingers into a fist and punches it instead.

Chloe's arms pull her back from the door and tighten around her when she tries to pull them away from her, Chloe keeps her in the middle of the room away from everything. "Beca, stop. Stop!" Beca stops struggling against the grip with a sigh. "You aren't your father, Beca. And I don't know why you're trying to be like him"

"I'm not _trying_ to be like him" Beca clenches her jaw in anger and tightens her fists.

"Yes you are. You were completely different before, you're just… you're hurting yourself now and sleeping with people because you think you're not good enough to be yourself with me"

Beca swallows hard and her anger dissipates completely. "You know?"

"I do now" There was a disappointment in Chloe's voice that stabs Beca in the heart, then Chloe's arms tighten around her. "And I know that you care about me. If you need this to be open, we can talk about it"

There Chloe goes again, reminding Beca that her girlfriend is _way_ too good for her. Chloe was selfless, caring, outgoing and beautiful. Everything that Beca isn't. Beca's body slumps and she reaches up to pull Chloe's arms off her and turn around, not giving a shit anymore if Chloe sees the tears "I don't want that. I don't want to be fucking around. I want to be everything that you deserve, but I'm not. I'm just… not"

Chloe's hand moves up to Beca's cheek and keeps her stare "Beca, you _are_. You're everything that I need and want. I don't mind it that you need to get your frustration out with other girls. I know it's been hard for you that I haven't wanted sex so early"

"You don't mind me fucking other people? Seriously" Beca's irritation shines through in her voice and Chloe's gaze drops away, along with the hand on her cheek.

"Of course I do, but obviously it doesn't matter whether I'd be okay with it or not, so I can either accept it and keep trying, or I can walk away from something that I'd miss too much" Chloe looks back up at her and Beca can't look away.

"I can do better" Beca says, reaching her arms up to Chloe and getting them caught by the redhead's hands

"Don't...rush yourself. If you feel like you're… I don't… I don't want to be cheated on, Beca. It hurts a lot" Chloe turns to look away when the tears well up. Beca's heart feels like it just got thrown into a stampede of elephants. "But… you're not me and it's hard for you.. so. If we can just… come to an agreement. Maybe… you don't sneak out when we're together so you can.."

"I won't. I won't, I promise" Beca feels Chloe's hands moving off hers, giving her the opportunity to put them on Chloe's hips. "I swear to you, I won't leave your side"

"You can leave my side, Becs. Just…. don't let me know about them" Chloe's tears start falling, each one of them gives Beca a new reason to hate herself. Her hands beat Chloe's up to the redhead's cheek, wiping the tears away with her thumbs.

"You'll never have to worry about that, okay?" Beca moves forward when Chloe nods with a loud sniff, taking the redhead into a hug. "I promise"


	8. Chapter 8

Chloe felt pressured by herself to stay in the dorm room, mostly through fear that if she left, Beca was going to go out and find whoever she's been meeting up with. It wouldn't have been so obvious had Beca not been texting someone when she had her eyes closed, and yes it was wrong to pretend to be sleeping, but as soon as Beca left and came back into the room silently, she knew. There was something completely different about Beca, so she just kept her eyes closed to Beca, and the situation.

She didn't want to know who it was, or how many people. Whether Beca had a specific favourite, or if she just goes out and picks up anyone. It hurts to think of Beca with someone else. Chloe was one of them, she let Beca touch her too fast and then held out, now Beca's going out to find someone who _will_ have sex.

Chloe couldn't pay attention to the movie, and she doesn't even look at Beca after thinking about the brunette having sex with someone. It made her feel sick. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed of every last drop. And the tears are returning to her eyes, but she doesn't move, she lets them fall so Beca doesn't know.

And she would have hidden it a lot better if she didn't sniff. Beca paused the movie and Chloe had to move off the bed so Beca couldn't touch her. She wipes at her eyes as she stands alone and avoids the brunette's stare. "I'm fine, I just need to… I need to go. Just for tonight"

"Okay. I understand"

Chloe looks down before she turns to Beca, putting her sadness on display to her girlfriend "Are you gonna.."

"No. No, I'm going to stay here all night. I won't see anyone or do anything"

Chloe nods slowly, she wasn't sure if she even trusted Beca anymore. There was a moment of hesitation that passes and allows her to move out the door.

* * *

Aubrey wasn't in the dorm when Chloe walked in, and she was thankful for that. Chloe makes her way to the bed and kicks off her shoes, then climbs in, not bothering to get undressed first. She hated being sad, there weren't a lot of people that could make her sad, but Beca's proven a few times that she's one of those people. Just not like this.

"No, I said Tuesday!"

"You said Thursday, Aubrey. Jesus fuck"

"Why are you being such an asshole lately? Are you due to fucking bleed or something?"

"Oh shut up. Call me when you're less confrontational"

The door slams after Aubrey's argument and a long sigh enters the room. She hears the blonde moving around for a while afterwards and doesn't move. She can't move, really. Her sadness was keeping her stuck to the bed.

"Chloe? Are you awake? Well I'd be surprised after that" The mattress dips after a moment and Chloe's hand moves up quickly to wipe her tears, only it was too late and Aubrey was pulling her shoulder back to turn her onto her back. "What happened?"

Chloe's heart feels like it explodes all over again and she sits up to hug the blonde tightly. "She's been sleeping with people" she says into Aubrey's shoulders, which was quickly followed by sobbing and tears.

* * *

Aubrey ended up staying with her that night, and in some way it helped that she was mad with Stacie. Neither of them had any distractions and they could wallow in peace.

Chloe's wallowing lasts days though. She doesn't talk to Beca at all, and avoids Facebook, she avoids her phone completely, really. She turned it off the night she spent with Aubrey and hasn't had it back on since. Day three was when she took a chance and turned it on, but there weren't any messages missed. Chloe drops the phone onto the floor and sighs as she lays against the pillow. A new reason to cry was there, but all she could do was lay there with a blank stare at the wall.

Day four was her acceptance day. Accepting that maybe things weren't as good as she thought they were with Beca. If they were good, Beca wouldn't have needed to go find sex from some easy girl. She should have just had sex with Beca, become one of those flings that Beca only used a few times a week. Then she wouldn't be so cut up, she'd be fine because Beca wouldn't have got under her skin.

Chloe leaves the dorm on day four, she decided she was going to attend the practise today, and thanks to her acceptance and growing anger, she feels better about being outside again. The sun was shining, there weren't any clouds and it was warm. When Chloe looks back down from the sky, Beca's stopped a few yards away. That wasn't something Chloe anticipated.

Beca's eyes drop to the ground and Chloe approaches her slowly, reaching out as she passes and brushing her fingertips over Beca's hand and continues walking instead of talking. She just hopes that gives her a little more time.

When she walks into the auditorium, she finds all of the girls nailing the routine, she smiles at the group as she walks in and Stacie waves to her, getting Aubrey to turn around in curiosity. Chloe joins the blonde's side while she watches.

"You've been crying" Aubrey says, Chloe felt the blonde's hand brushing hers before holding it and intertwining their fingers.

"I saw her" Chloe says, she knew there was going to be judgment from the blonde soon, whether it was now or later. Aubrey thinks that 'once a cheater, always a cheater' are words to live by.

"I would have hit her with a brick. And I still want to" Aubrey's voice was full of annoyance whenever Beca was the topic. She's ruined any chances of Aubrey and Beca being friends, so that kinda sucks.

"I know you do, but.."

"I know" Aubrey turns to her and gives her hand a little squeeze before she lets go and moves forward, clapping and getting everyone's attention.

"Intruder alert" Amy says, pointing over at the doors. Chloe turns around and finds Beca standing a few feet away.

"I want to join" Beca says, Chloe stares at her, completely taken aback. When she looks over at Aubrey, the blonde was staring back at her, and nods. She had the control of whether Beca gets to stay or go, and it feels like this was going to mean from her life as well.

Chloe feels her palms getting sweaty when the pressure rises from the silent group.

"Chloe, I won't d.." Beca looks over at the group and tenses slightly, then returns the gaze to Chloe. "I'll.. be loyal to the Bella's. I won't even _think_ about joining a band, or singing with anyone other than you. You're the only person that I… You're the _group_ that I want to be in. With… in. Just-" Beca sighs and moves closer to Chloe, stopping right in front of her "Just let me fix this. Come back to me and I'll… I'll even tell my father about us, I'll tell him that we're-"

"Don't. Don't do that, Beca. You know that won't work well"

"Well I deserve it anyway" Beca's gaze drops from her and Chloe moves her hand onto Beca's forearm.

"Please don't do that. Stop hurting yourself before it kills me" Chloe bites her lip when Beca's eyes move up again. "I don't want you in pain, Beca"

"Then let me do this" Beca moves forward and kisses Chloe. In a public setting. Even though it was just the Bella's, that was something that sets something off inside Chloe. Beca moves away from her after a moment and Chloe exhales loudly, licking her tingling lips.

When she opens her eyes, Beca's still there, and still looking like she's about one step away from begging. Chloe moves her thumb to touch the ring around her finger and nods at Beca "If you...can promise that you won't be as...self destructive, or at least try.. you can join us"

"I won't. I promise." Beca moves a hand forward and Chloe doesn't wait before she takes it in her own.

Chloe nearly jumps out of her skin when Amy woos loudly, sending it echoing through the auditorium. When she looks over, the girls were smiling, except Aubrey, and Stacie. She hadn't told Stacie, but Aubrey probably would have. She turns her head back to Beca and smiles softly "Okay, so we can't really let you join the next competition, and maybe not the finals, depending on how quickly you pick up the routine but...welcome to the Bella's"

* * *

To say that Beca was an awkward horrible mess of a dancer was an understatement. Chloe had never seen anyone that stiff before, it was cute but frustrating after a while, the worst part is that Beca would end up smirking, and Chloe starts thinking it was on purpose. A light smack against Beca's arm resets the girl into taking it seriously though.

She'd occasionally look up and find Aubrey watching them pretty closely, making her feel bad about giving Beca a chance, and she knows the blonde doesn't mean to make her feel bad, it was really just herself making her feel bad. It may have been a huge mistake to give Beca another chance, but she has to try. What's the use of starting something and not finishing it?

"So.." Beca starts when Chloe tries to move the brunette's arms up in the air. "Can we talk?" Chloe's hands hold Beca's arms up while she looks into the dark blue eyes in front of her.

"Yeah, we need to" Chloe moves Beca's hands outward and then down. "We need to draw some boundaries"

"Are we talking boundaries as in this stupid dance, or between us?" Beca's smile brings out one of her own and she shakes her head as she takes Beca's hands back up.

"Between us. Your stupid dancing is too ridiculous for boundaries"

"Thanks coach" Beca winks at her and sends goosebumps over her body, then she guides Beca's hands down slowly. "What kind of boundaries are we talking?"

"Well for one, no hurting yourself. And that goes for boiling showers as well" Chloe moves Beca's hands out to the side. "And if… you need to sleep with someone"

"I won't"

"Beca" Chloe waits a beat and looks out at Beca's arm, then the other and takes them up higher when she returns her eyes to the brunette's "If you need to sleep with someone and I'm not ready, I want you to be...smart. Don't just…. don't go for anyone, okay?"

"Please stop. I don't want anyone else"

"It's okay, Beca. I get that you need certain things, and I'm not.. ready for that. So if you-"

"Could you stop? Please." Beca's arms drop from hers and Chloe moves her hands down to her sides in defeat. Beca looks over at the group and starts talking lower to Chloe. "Just stop. I know that you aren't okay with it"

"Just because I don't want you to be with other people, doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. We both know that the chances of it happening again are high, if we just prepare-"

"God, you're like a fucking dog with a bone with this."

"I'm sorry, Beca. I'm just trying..to be supportive"

Beca sighs and moves forward and turns Chloe's face up with a hand on her cheek. "I need to focus on fixing this. I only want you. I don't want to fuck other people"

"But you _do_ fuck other people. I'm trying to make you see that… if you fuck up, I'm… it's okay"

Beca's hand drops away and Chloe watches the brunette take a few steps away then turn back. "Okay. Okay fine. I'll agree to this because I'm going to show you how wrong you are"

Chloe nods and Beca returns back to her, looking a lot less annoyed now. "Thank you"

"Yeah" Beca takes Chloe's hands and raises their arms up again "Show me that thing again"

"I just showed it to you like five times"

"And you were talking to me the whole time, so I missed all of it"

Chloe's smile creeps across her face, then she starts moving their hands together again, keeping her eyes on Beca's.

* * *

Everything kind of falls back into the same routine after Beca showed up and asked for her forgiveness. They go back to Beca's dorm and have dinner, watch a few movies and flirtatiously banter through the night. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened, yet Chloe feels strangely stronger about Beca than she did before. Like she needed to realize just how invested she was in the brunette. Which is probably too much.

Every night until Saturday, they were spending time together, then she sat on Beca's bed, watching her girlfriend getting ready for her dinner with her father. It was a daunting experience to go through, knowing that Beca was struggling with feeling as though she was too much like her father. She was half expecting Beca to come back in a horrible mood.

"Is this too gay?" Beca says, when Chloe looks up, the brunette had _three_ plaid shirts on. Chloe laughs loudly and shakes her head

"It's not the shirts that are too gay, baby"

"Oh, ouch. You think I'm too gay?" Beca moves across the room, approaching Chloe slowly.

Chloe leans back onto her arms, staring up at the brunette. "Yes. Just a little bit over the limit, but that's okay"

"What tipped me over?"

"I think it was when you gave me this" Chloe holds her hand up with the ring and smiles "I just think it's a little gay to ask me to marry you after a day"

Beca laughs and moves forward to straddle Chloe's lap. "Well you _did_ say yes pretty fast"

Chloe leans forward and meets Beca halfway for a kiss, humming when she moves out of it and leans back on her hands. "I'm not gay though, so it cancels out my limit"

"Oh please. Just looking at me makes you gay" Beca smirks and moves up off her lap to walk back to the closet and take off the shirts.

"Is that how the gays get us?"

"Yep. That's why I have so many appliances"

Chloe furrows her eyebrows in confusion and starts looking around the room until she hears Beca chuckling at her.

"It's a joke, Chloe. Whenever we recruit a new member into the secret Gay community, we get a toaster or something. It's just… it's a joke"

"Oh. That's a weird joke, I didn't laugh at all"

Beca huffs and shoves a shirt into the closet before turning back to her with a smile "You're a dork"

" _I'm_ a dork? You're a dork. A _gay_ dork" Chloe laughs softly and watches Beca approaching her again.

"Oh yeah? Would a gay dork do this?" Beca jumps forward and Chloe's arms move out just in time for the brunette to tackle her backwards onto the bed and pin her down.

"Yes? That's exactly what a gay dork would do, Becs"

"You know… I think you may be right. I'm totally a gay dork" Beca feigns surprise and leans down to press their lips together. Chloe's skin tingles when Beca's hands start moving down her arms slowly.

Beca's tongue starts moving along her lips until she parts them and meets the brunette's tongue with her own, moaning lightly at the contact. Chloe loses all track of time when the kiss stays at a steady pace, Beca makes no move to further it into something else and Chloe would have tried to make herself do it had there not been a knock on the door.

Beca sits up quickly and looks towards the door before climbing off Chloe "Who is it?"

"Jesse, dude. Open up, I don't mind seeing you all up on Chloe"

Beca snorts and opens the door for Jesse to walk in. "I was not all up on Chloe"

"You have kiss lips, Beca. Don't lie" Jesse looks over at Chloe with a smile "Hey, how are you?"

"I'm really good, how are you? Excited for the semi-finals?"

"Ugh. Almost too excited. Our practises have been non-stop"

"So have ours! Aubrey is relentless. She's been making them daily, and then she tries to make us all do cardio _daily_. Amy's nearly dead already"

Jesse laughs and sits down on the bed next to Chloe, patting her knee with the back of his hand "At least you guys can run circles around us, right?"

"Dude." Chloe looks up at Beca and the smile fades slightly "Don't touch her"

"Beca" Chloe's surprise was heard clearly through her voice and Beca holds a hand up to _silence_ her. This just annoyed her.

"Relax, Beca. I wasn't grabbing her"

"Don't fucking do it at all, Jesse"

Jesse holds his hands up, surrendering to Beca's request. Beca turns away to walk over to her desk chair and start putting shoes on, then he turns back to Chloe and gives her a smile as if this kind of thing has happened before.

Silence fell over the room, complete silence, until Beca finishes getting ready.

"I'll see you when I get back" Beca says, kissing Chloe's cheek quickly and sending a look over at Jesse's back as he walks towards the door.

After they're gone, Chloe takes a minute to try and figure out what that was. As nice as it was to be defended, _that_ was different. That was like Beca was almost a little too possessive. Jesse wasn't even close to a threat, and he was Beca's best friend. That was all too strange, she'll have to talk about it with Beca when they get back. But for now, Chloe forced Beca to make a playlist of her mixes and Chloe makes her way over to the laptop to start it.

An hour later, Chloe wasn't even close to being finished with the mixes, she was on Beca's bed playing with her phone and hears a knock on the door. At least she thinks it was a knock. She waits a few moments and a louder knock comes from the door. So she gets up and turns the music down just in case it was a neighboring roommate and walks over to the door.

When she pulls it open, Stacie's on the other side. The confusion on her face was matched by Stacie, then the brunette smiles "Hey. I came here to find you, I thought Beca would have answered"

"Oh, she's at her father's place for dinner. You wanna come in?"

"No… no, I just came over to see if you wanted to have dinner with Aubrey and me tomorrow"

"You came here to ask me that? You're so dopey" Chloe reaches out and touches Stacie's arm. "Yes and yes. Can I ask Beca? She may not want to come, the public thing and all"

Stacie takes a moment before she talks again "Well.. I kinda wanted it to be just us, like old times, you know?"

Chloe smiles softly and leans against the doorframe. "Okay, I'll keep my lips sealed. What time?"

"Six? We'll go to that Thai place that you and Bree seem to be in love with. Just like old times" Stacie smiles quickly and starts moving away "I'll see you tomorrow, Chloe"

"Kay! Bye!" Chloe waves and moves back into the room, closing the door quietly and making her way back to the laptop to turn it up a little louder.


	9. Chapter 9

"I don't think that's a good idea at all, Beca. Those groups are unruly, there's a lot of sinning" Beca's father holds his fork up as he talks, pointing it towards Beca after she finishes telling him that she joined the Bella's because Jesse was in a rival group. Apparently that makes no difference though. "You're going to have to apologize and say no"

"Yes sir." Beca says, turning down to look at her plate.

"Well, actually the head of the Bella's is a Christian girl. She's really nice" Jesse says, Beca looks up at him, stunned at his stupidity.

"Is that so? Beca?" When she turns to her father's questioning stare, all she can do is nod. "I see. Are the songs Christian?"

"No… I mean, I don't think so, I think it's just… just songs from the radio" Beca reaches for her water and takes a gulp, trying to cover up her nerves by moving.

"Well I'd like to meet the captain, and then we'll see"

"Chloe's one of the co-captains, but...the one Jesse's talking about is her best friend, Aubrey"

Her father stares for a moment, scaring the shit out of Beca. If he knows about them now would be the time he'd make it obvious. "Well in that case, I'd love to come to one of the performances and see you girls singing to Him"

"When I learn the routines, I'll let you know" Beca looks down at her plate and sticks the fork into a piece of chicken.

"Very good. And as for Chloe, I like her. She's a good influence. A good Christian girl. I'll allow you to be friends with her"

Beca stares across the table as she chews the chicken and feels Jesse's foot nudging her leg under the table. "Thank you, I'm happy to hear that"

"I saw her not too long ago and we bonded over our favorite verses. Do you know what she said?" Beca shakes her head and her father's smile was actually a proud one. "John 15:13. Greater love has no other than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" He smacks his hand lightly against the table "Do you know what that means, Beca?"

"That… she likes Jesus?"

"No! That means she read the Lord's words. No one quotes John. They always go with a ridiculous stand out quote from Leviticus or Genesis. This girl quoted _John_. Amazing!"

Beca was almost too shocked to eat after that and when she looked over at Jesse, he was trying everything he could not to smile, or laugh. He looked like he was straining and Beca looks back down at her plate again.

* * *

The ride back was weird. Her father was talking to Jesse about a-capella and asking him all about what their groups stand for, what they win, what they sing, what other groups sing. Just a bunch of questions all so he could turn it all around and talk about Chloe again. Then she hears it. Something that makes her want to _punch_ her father.

"She's a very good looking girl. That Luke is a lucky man. I bet she's not chaste"

Beca clenches her jaw and squeezes the seat under her knees. Focusing on her breathing was difficult when Jesse agrees and _laughs_. Her eyes close as her father and best friend talk further about how good looking _her_ girlfriend is.

"If I was twenty years younger"

Jesse laughs. "Yeah"

"Or maybe she likes older men. How old is this Luke? We should invite them both over"

"I can ask Luke, I'm going to work tomorrow"

"Excellent! Beca, ask Chloe to dinner…. Beca!"

"Yes sir" Beca didn't even care if the contempt in her voice was heard. And it obviously went unnoticed.

"Such a nice girl, that Chloe"

By the time they got out of the car, Beca was about ready to kick the shit out of everything. Starting with her pervert father. She slams the car door and hears her father yelling 'hey!' through the window. Then Jesse gets out and the fucking show has to go on. She sighs and moves forward, kissing him quickly and then taking his hand as they walk away together

"Fuck you, Jesse."

"I'm sorry, Beca. I didn't know how to react to that. That was all nervous laughter, believe me"

"I fucking hate him so fucking much"

"Beca, you need to relax"

"How the fuck am I supposed to relax, dude?" Beca stops and turns to him, looking back to see her father's car in the distance already. "That guy wants to _fuck_ Chloe. My girlfriend Chloe." Beca takes her hand out of Jesse's and exhales loudly through her nose. "And I have to just fucking sit there and listen to him talk about her like that"

"I know, Beca. But you have to remember that everything he says is bullshit. You know he won't even get _close_ to Chloe."

"He wants me to invite her over so he _can_ " Beca's disgust was rising and she looks over to her side towards the building, finding Chloe sitting on the bench outside and looking down. "What the fuck is she doing out here?" Beca starts walking, and Jesse wasn't far behind

"Beca, don't take your anger out on her"

"I'm not, dude" When Beca gets close enough, she sees the redhead has tears on her cheeks, sending her anger extremely far away. "What happened? Chloe?" Beca goes to kneel down and stops when Chloe stands up.

Chloe looks up at Jesse first, then back at Beca "When were you going to tell me?"

Beca falls silent for a moment, hoping that Stacie didn't open her fucking mouth. "About.. what?"

"Seriously, Beca? I just _saw_ you. You told me so many times that you were gay"

"What are y-" Beca stops and looks over at Jesse, then back at Chloe and she shoves her arm out into Jesse's arm, pushing him away from her "Dude, no. That was not what it seems."

"Jesus, Beca" Jesse says after he stumbles to catch himself

"We've been fake dating to keep my father off my back. I didn't mention it because it _seriously_ is a non-issue" Beca watches Chloe's face and reaches up to wipe the redhead's cheeks when the belief sets in. "I'm sorry"

"I feel so stupid now" Chloe looks down again and Beca goes to step forward, stopping herself for a moment and then closing the distance to hug the redhead. "What are you doing?"

"Hugging you?"

"We can't, Beca"

"Well.. there's a few things I need to tell you" Beca starts to move back, watching the confusion make its way back onto Chloe's face.

"Thanks Jesse. No problem, Beca. I'll see you tomorrow? Yeah sure!" Jesse says, having a conversation with himself. Beca sighs and turns around to glare at him, "I'll catch you later, Beca"

"Thanks, dude" Beca says, smiling when he holds his arm up and says 'yeah yeah'. Then she turns back to her girlfriend. "Let's go in"

* * *

Beca's said weird things before. A lot of weird things. But this one… would be the weirdest. She already told Chloe about the dinner conversation and that her father says they can be friends.. but the car conversation needed a little warming up to. And it took her about two hours, and they were halfway through something called Death Becomes Her when she found the courage

"My father thinks you're hot" Beca doesn't look away from the screen, and she doesn't even need to.

"What? Ew! What?" Chloe sits for a second after Beca's silence, then the redhead moves forward and gets off the bed to start shaking her hands like they were wet "Ew! Ew ew ew. Ew. He said that?"

"Kind of. He said you're a very attractive girl. Luke is lucky, you're not chaste and then told me to invite you over. So basically he wants to fuck you. Also he wants to know if you're into older guys" Beca stares up at Chloe, who looks like she's between throwing up and killing herself. Beca smirks slightly.

Chloe catches that smirk and points at her "You're such an ass! You're fucking with me!"

"I'm not. It's just funny seeing your reaction to my father wanting to bone you"

"Oh my god! Stop saying that. Ugh! God I feel dirty just knowing that, why did you tell me?" Chloe starts wiping her hands on her jeans and grimacing in disgust.

Beca chuckles and leans forward to pause the movie and push the laptop off her legs onto the bed before she gets up and waves Chloe to move closer. Chloe's arms wrap around her neck and they fit together in a perfect hug. Beca closes her eyes tightly and breathes in Chloe's scent. "I'll never let anyone touch you"

There's a few moments of silence before Chloe's voice enters her ears "We need to talk about that"

Beca's heart drops, her mind immediately takes her into the worst case scenario where Chloe says she's already _been_ touched. And they weren't talking for four days.

"That thing earlier in here, when Jesse touched my knee" Chloe starts moving back from the hug to look at Beca, who was relaxing a little after her stupid self heart attack. "I don't think that was really necessary, Becs"

"Well I don't think it was necessary for him to touch my girlfriend. It isn't necessary for _anyone_ to touch you except for me"

Chloe blinks at her a few times and then the hands start moving off her shoulders "Beca, you can't say that. What if I'm upset and Aubrey hugs me?"

"That's different, if you're upset and it's Aubrey.. that's fine"

"But just not Jesse?"

"Jesse has no fucking right to hug you or even put his hands on you"

The silence fills the room and Chloe's contemplation over her next words leaves Beca hanging. "So Aubrey's allowed to touch me, but no one else?"

"No one else."

"I think…. that might be a little possessive"

Beca's anger was kept at bay by the scared look on Chloe's face when the words come out. Beca takes a step back and makes her way over to the desk chair, groaning as she sits down. "Okay. Give me a good reason why you're so desperate for people to touch you then"

"I don't _want_ people to touch me. But sometimes a situation calls for it"

"So a situation calls for it, you hug them, they wanna fuck, you end up-"

"Beca, that isn't something that happens"

"Really Chloe? Because I'm _pretty_ sure that's how I first fucked you"

Chloe gets visibly annoyed and turns around to leave.

"Yeah, fine. Go let everyone touch you!" Beca slumps back into the chair, watching the door slamming shut as Chloe leaves. Beca sighs loudly and sits for a few minutes before she looks over at the desk and grabs her phone. 'Come over'

 _'did chloe leave?'_

'Yeah, so come over'

Beca waits almost ten minutes before the knock on the door gets her up and moving across the room. She reaches out and pulls Stacie into the room, shutting and locking the door behind her. When she turns around, Stacie was moving towards the bed and reaching for her laptop "Don't touch that" Beca moves forward and takes the laptop, moving it over to the desk.

Stacie sits on the bed, watching Beca's moves as she walks to the sitting girl. She shoves Stacie back and climbs on top of her, smirking down at the girl "How long do you have?"

"All night. I just left Bree's room when Chloe got back"

Beca moves up to straddle Stacie's lap and starts pushing the top up off the taller girl's stomach "I need this off. I need it all off." Beca leans forward, catching herself on her arm and hovering over Stacie's lips "I have to fuck you"

* * *

When Beca wakes up, she remembers her night, and looks over to the empty bed beside her. It wasn't the first time Stacie was in her room and left before Beca woke up. She's done it twice already. Beca sighs as she stares up at the ceiling, even when Chloe says it'd be okay, she feels like shit. It was out of immaturity and anger and she can't fucking help it when she reacts.

Beca rolls over towards the wall and shifts closer to it, holding part of the sheet over her hand to punch the wall hard enough for pain to ring out into her hand. It didn't leave a mark when she did it this way, so Chloe hopefully won't notice.

After a few punches, Beca gets up out of bed and moves to the desk, dropping onto the chair and starting up her laptop. As soon as it loads, she opens Facebook to start her groveling procedure.

 _Beca Mitchell 11:20_  
 _I'm sorry, okay. I let my anger take over and I said something stupid. Another day that ends in Y. I am sorry though. When we… that was completely different, I know._

Beca waits for a while and sighs when no reply comes, so she gets up and grabs her shower supplies. When she opens the door, Chloe was standing on the other side with her fist up about to knock. "Wow. Timing"

"I just saw your message" Chloe says. Beca nods at her and moves to the side, letting Chloe into the room and forgetting all about her night until Chloe sits on the bed. "I'm sorry I stormed out on you"

"Yeah. No problem" Beca stares down at the bed for a moment and then looks up at Chloe. "I should uh.. shower and all that. I'm gonna go get some food, you wanna join?"

"Seriously? In public?"

Beca laughs softly and nods "Just… you know, the normal way though. Touching bad still"

"Okay, I can handle that" Chloe says with a smile. "I'll wait for you"

"Come with me" Beca says, needing Chloe to get away from the bed. When the redhead raises an eyebrow, she rolls her eyes "Not like that, I just wanna talk to you while I shower. Please?"

"Okay, okay. Pushypants" Chloe gets up from the bed and smiles as she passes Beca, giving her a poke to the stomach. "You're lucky you're so cute"

"I know" Beca says, glancing back at the bed before she leaves the room.

* * *

The whole time during her shower, she couldn't focus on anything other than Chloe sitting on the bed which Stacie was on. Chloe pulled her out of her self loathing by making a comment about her lack of conversational skills after saying she wants to talk to Chloe. And thinking anything to talk about on the spot while you're hating yourself is hard. She ended up talking about puppies, but at least Chloe was a dog nut and took over the conversation to start listing the cutest breeds, which seemed like an endless list.

They got food together, and Beca was still quiet, all she could think about was getting Chloe to give her enough time for her to strip the bed and reset her life once more.

"You've been really quiet today, are you still feeling bad about last night?" Chloe asks as they walk with about a foot between them.

At least Beca doesn't have to lie about this. "Yeah"

"Well you don't have to. I know you only said it out of anger"

Beca looks over at the redhead as they walk, finding nothing but Chloe's bright eyes staring back at her, an obvious affection shining through, which only heightens her guilt. "I, um.. I acted out. After you left"

Chloe's expression changes slightly, and so does the direction of the previously affectionate gaze. "Okay. I don't want you to tell me when it happens, Beca. If you need to boast, you're talking to the wrong person"

"I'm not boasting. I feel like shit" Beca watches the path as they walk "I really feel like shit. And the only way I can punish myself is to feel guilty"

"I know...you want to hit something, or.. hurt yourself somehow, but your promise means a lot to me" Beca feels Chloe's hand on her forearm, stopping her pace and turning her to face the redhead "I don't care if you sleep with people, Bec. You don't need to feel guilty and do something stupid"

"You say that you don't care, but you _do_. I see you looking all sad, and then I just…. I say to myself that I'll never touch another person again, and for some fucking reason, I just...turn into this fucking asshole and.."

"Beca, stop tearing yourself down. Yes it's hard for me to think of you with other people, but really… I'm okay. I'm okay because that's you, and I want to be with you. Creepy possessive or not"

Beca smiles slightly and looks down "Which is fucking gross and selfish"

"I'm not going to lie, it is selfish. But I'm not… I don't have the same need for… whatever it is you're seeking in people. I'm happy just to go to your dorm and kiss you while we watch movies and just be together"

Beca looks up again and finds Chloe's smile, settling her guilt for another day. "I just wish I could be better for you"

"I know, baby. And maybe one day… when we move a step further, I can be everything that you need. Until then, this is how it has to be, so…. stop being a turd and embrace having your cake and eating it too" Chloe squeezes her forearm gently and turns to lead her forward again.

The touch was kind of like Chloe was holding her hand, it wasn't _as_ intimate, but there was touching. Outside. With every chance that they could be seen, and even though Beca feels like her nerves were eating her stomach from the inside out, she doesn't move away from it.

When they get to her door, Chloe turns to look at her while leaning against the wall next to the doorframe. "So… I have a dinner date with Aubrey and Stacie, can I come over after?"

"Yeah. Sounds fine. I'll text you?"

"Are you actually going to text me, or is this going to be something that could possibly break your promise?"

"I swear it's nothing like that. I'm… I'm okay now, feeling less…. shit at life"

Chloe looks contemplative for a minute and ends up nodding and moving forward to kiss her cheek and turn to walk away. Which gives Beca the chance to clean those fucking sheets and hate herself some more.

* * *

Chloe showed after dinner with Aubrey and Stacie. They had their usual routine which ended in playful banter and kissing that went nowhere, which was a lot easier for Beca to handle, especially since she's been straying, so to speak. All she has to do is think about Stacie and it cockblocks her right away, which is probably going to become a problem one day.

While she watches Chloe's back as she sleeps, all she can think about is how much she cares about the redhead. All of her feelings were controlled by Chloe, but to an extreme effect that shows just how shit of a person she is. Even from day one, as soon as she threw herself at Chloe in her disrespectful way, it showed how much of an asshole she is. But Chloe stayed. This whole time, even through the pain, Chloe stayed. Beca can't figure out why that is, but all she knows is that she doesn't want Chloe to leave. And if anyone finds out about Stacie, there's no way that her girlfriend will stay.

The only problem with that is her inability to stop. And it was just so _easy_ with Stacie. They'd see each other, get it over with and then it's all over and they're relaxed again, getting their pathetic fix. Beca just doesn't know what she needed it for. Lashing out when she's angry makes sense, but there were times when she wasn't angry at all, she just craved it. Like the womanizing asshole she is.

The longer she lays awake behind Chloe, the worse she feels, throwing herself right back into the ditch that she dug for herself. She hadn't realized over time how bad she's let herself become, she thought of the sex as a way for her to get out her attraction to girls, but it was control. She wanted to be in control of everything, and now she wants to be in control of Chloe. Just like her father. Controlling everyone to be what _he_ needs them to be. Beca doesn't want to be him, but thinking of anyone even near Chloe incites a rage in her that she's never felt before, not this strongly.

Beca can't help it when she moves closer and trails her arm across Chloe's forearm until she hits the hand and feels for the ring. As soon as she finds it, she settles in her self-induced anger and sighs. Her anger turned into guilt pretty quickly, sending tears onto the pillow while she leaves her fingertip against the ring.

* * *

Beca groans softly when she wakes up to a rapid pressing against her cheek and smacking noises. When her eyes open, she sees Chloe smiling and moving up into a standing position next to the bed. "Get up, baby, we have practise in an hour" Chloe says, making Beca groan again and pull the covers up over her head.

"I didn't sleep well, tell them I have AIDS" Beca smiles slightly when Chloe's laughter fills the room, and her heart.

"No chance. You joined us and now you're _stuck_ with us. And by us, I mean me. So get your cute little butt out of bed or I'll have to drag you out"

Beca's laughs softly and holds the covers tighter in preparation. "I'd like to see you try"

"If you don't get out of bed, I might think you're ready to give up on me"

Beca's smile wipes off her face and she sits up, letting the covers drop from her so she can find Chloe's smirk "You're fucking evil for that"

"I know, baby. But I don't wanna be late. Come on" Chloe moves forward and pulls the covers off her lap, so Beca brings her legs back and kneels up, taking Chloe's cheeks into her hands and kissing the redhead deeply until she feels the girl leaning into the kiss for more. Beca moves back to break the kiss with her own smirk and pats her hand against Chloe's cheek lightly before moving around her girlfriend and standing up. "That was… a good attempt at getting back at me" Chloe says, turning to sit down on the bed and watch Beca as she picks out an outfit with a defeated sigh.

"You're kind of a jerk" Beca glances over and shakes her head when she finds Chloe's proud grin. "A major jerk, even"

"I am happy to admit that I'm a jerk" Chloe says as she leans back onto her arms. "And you're 'off' so together….we're a jerkoff"

"I take it back, you're just a dork" Beca turns to her closet with a laugh.

* * *

When they walked towards the auditorium together, Beca's happiness disappears when her eyes find Aubrey and her father talking outside. Her chest tightens and Chloe's concern shows. Beca knows that the redhead wants to reach out, but there's no chance of that happening.

"and then I had to search all of the drawers just to make sure- Oh hey guys!" Aubrey says, and as soon as her father turns around, the blonde shoots them a look.

"Beca. Chloe, you look lovely" And it only took him one second for Beca's urge to punch him to return.

"Thanks, Dr. Mitchell" Chloe says, Beca looks over at her awkward girlfriend and can't even defend her.

"What are you doing here?" Beca was trying to stay as calm as she possibly can, and her tone _may_ have sounded annoyed, but there wasn't a lot she could do about it when her father's staring at her fucking girlfriend.

"I just wanted to have a little chat with Aubrey here" Her father says, putting his hand on Aubrey's shoulder "Just to make sure everything is in order" which translates to 'just to make sure you're not lying' Beca stares at the lingering hand on Aubrey's shoulder, pissing her off on a whole new level.

"Well we need to practise, so.."

"Right! Yes. You ladies have fun. Will we be seeing you on Saturday, Chloe?" Her father redirects his gaze to the redhead and Beca clenches her jaw.

"Oh, thank you, but I have plans on Saturday night. Another time?" Chloe's smile warms her heart for a second, it was gone again when her father talks again.

"Yes! Lovely. Bless you all" he says before he starts walking away.

Beca turns to watch his back getting further from them, wishing she had a brick or something to throw.

"What was that about?" she hears Aubrey saying

"Nothing, Bree. It's fine" Chloe says. Beca turns to look at her girlfriend and smiles slightly, Chloe really was too good for her. When she looks at Aubrey, the blonde was staring at her as if trying to figure her out.

"Okay then" Aubrey looks away from her to Chloe "Lets go then"

When Chloe smiles and walks ahead, Beca reaches out to tap Aubrey's hand and get the blonde to look at her "Hey, thanks… for… for that"

"It's okay, Chloe let me know ages ago" Aubrey nods at her and smiles, then turns to follow Chloe inside. Leaving Beca standing there. Aubrey was really… _cool_. And Beca's fucking Stacie. She stands there for a minute before she backs up and turns around to walk away from the auditorium.

* * *

Every noise from her phone was being ignored. She knew it was Chloe, but she couldn't face anyone right now. She's turned this whole fucking situation on its head and stomped all over it. Aubrey was a _friend_. The blonde talked to her father so she could stay in the Bella's with Chloe.

The knocking started a while after the text messages stopped, but Beca locked the door when she came in to give off the illusion that she isn't in. A while passes before she hears the lock clicking over and Chloe thanking someone. Then she looks up and finds the redhead walking right by her position. She was sitting in the corner of the room with her knees bent up.

Chloe doesn't notice her at first, not until the redhead turned to walk out. "Beca? What happened?" Chloe moves down to kneel next to her, and she looks away. Her heart was beating her chest up and it was hurting her, which is what she needed to feel.

"I just..couldn't" she says quietly, leaning her head to the side against the wall. "I'm a horrible person"

"Is this about your father?"

Beca's next decision could make her lose Chloe forever, so she purses her lips and nods.

"Oh, babe. You can't keep beating yourself up over this. You're not him. You're _much_ hotter" Chloe reaches up to brush at Beca's hair and rests her other hand on Beca's knee.

Beca smiles slightly and looks up at Chloe "I just… wish I could click my fingers and change"

"I know you do, but this takes time" Chloe's hand moves to her cheek as their stare holds. "You're a _great_ person when you're not letting yourself act out"

"I need to stop. I _need_ to stop"

"And you will, just… when you can. If you go all cold turkey, you might end up in bed with someone _really_ unappealing"

"But.. I thought you don't want sex with me"

"Wha- Oh my god! Jerk." Chloe smiles and smacks a hand against Beca's knee before getting up and moving over to the bed "Let's just have some fun in here and marathon the Golden Girls"

"Are you an old woman on the inside? Who watches the Golden Girls?" Beca smiles and starts getting up from the corner to move across the room and pick up her laptop from the desk.

"I do, because yes, I am an old woman. Now shush and load it"

"And you think I'm controlling" Beca says as she moves onto the bed and sits against the wall with the laptop on her thighs.

"My controlling is cuter. Your kind of controlling is a little more on the serious side" Chloe reaches across and pushes the power button, bringing out another smile from Beca as she looks down at the hand moving back again.

Watching the Golden Girls with Chloe would have been a lot more fun if the redhead didn't keep calling her Dorothy. As appealing as the sarcasm was, the size jokes were becoming too much. Dorothy was a giant, and Beca was short as hell. Somehow this proved to Chloe that Beca was _definitely_ Dorothy.

* * *

Chloe got up after an episode and started stretching, which made Beca look. Chloe's body was perfect, there was seriously _nothing_ wrong with this girl. Even the noise she makes when she releases her stretch was perfect. Beca looks up at Chloe's soft smile and this is the moment she knows that she's in love with Chloe.

"What?" Chloe says, turning her head slightly in amused curiosity

"Nothing, you're just… beautiful" Chloe's wide smile fills her with light, it makes her feel alive. Like she's the best person in the world, when she's the worst. Beca's gaze drops down to the laptop and Chloe moves across the room, Beca follows the redhead's movements until Chloe bends down next to the desk.

"I _always_ find these around my dorm" Chloe comes back up holding a pair of laced underwear that stops Beca's heart. She can't speak, or move. "Stacie always throws these around when she's with Aubrey. And she even has a pair just like this" Chloe doesn't look up from the grossed out grimace down at the underwear and then turns to throw them onto the desk. "Well you can give those back to whoever they belong to, because I am _not_ having those in here with me" Chloe smirks slightly and starts moving onto the bed, missing Beca's shaking, anxious body.

Beca felt like she could vomit at any second. Chloe just ripped her heart right out of her chest and didn't even realize. Chloe moves across her lap and starts the next episode, then leans back again. Beca stares down at the screen, but misses everything because she was so scared. She hadn't seen the underwear at all, and then Chloe _picked them up_. Stacie's underwear. Chloe's hand. Chloe even said they looked like Stacie's.

Beca spent the rest of the episodes freaking out in her mind and tried to act her way out of it when Chloe would start talking. Falling asleep would be impossible, and she wasn't even risking texting Stacie. She just stayed behind Chloe, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. Which they do, and she cries quietly, again.


	10. Chapter 10

When Chloe wakes up, she sits up and stretches, then looks back at the sleeping brunette with a smile and leans over to kiss her cheek lightly before standing up and moving over to the desk, picking up her phone as she spins on the spot and types to her twitter 'Beautiful day, beautiful girlfriend.' Then she hears Beca's phone ding, her brow furrows slightly and she reaches over to switch on the screen. Beca got a notification of her tweet, but then she looked at the next notification and finds a text message. 'i need to see you' Chloe switches off the screen again, her good mood was spoiled already. But at least Beca was following her twitter.

Chloe writes Beca a note on a piece of paper, saying she's going to shower and get some breakfast. Then she places it on the pillow next to Beca and walks out quietly. Chloe tries not to be jealous, and it's the hardest thing ever when Beca actually goes out to sleep with people. All she wants to do is reply to the text with a nice 'Fuck off' or something. But she can't. Beca won't get better any time soon, she just has to deal with it.

Chloe walked into the dorm room and found Aubrey going over the schedule for the semi-finals _again_. They have a quick conversation about how Beca is while she gathers her things for a shower. Chloe doesn't like when Beca beats herself up, and Beca does it a _lot_. It was hard to watch, but there wasn't a lot that she can do beside try to make Beca feel better until the brunette gets to herself again. Chloe gets into her shower, trying to think of ways that Beca can get better, she isn't exactly knowledgeable in this area, this is all new to her, but making people feel better is kind of her thing.

Chloe was halfway through her shower when she hears her name being called from the bathroom, and it sounds like Beca, but why would the brunette be awake already?

"Yeah?" She answers, there was a brief pause before the curtain flies open and Beca's standing there. While she's naked and in the shower. Beca steps in and shuts the curtain, but the way the approach happened wasn't at all sexy. Beca looked too angry to be pervy.

"What the fuck was that note?"

"What? What do y-"

"You _know_ I don't fucking like it when I wake up and you're gone. Anyone could have been in here with you"

"Excuse me?" Chloe can't mask the pain and annoyance of Beca's accusation, and Beca moves closer to her, making her body go tense.

"Don't fucking leave me before I'm awake Chloe, or I swear to God."

"You'll what? You'll hit me?" Chloe sees the exact moment when Beca's mind catches up to her actions. Beca turns her head slightly and looks away from her. "Don't you _dare_ do this, Beca. Or I won't just be leaving you before you're awake. I've told you that I'm not going to be under your total control like that"

The brunette was silent for a few moments, actually taking her words seriously, it seems. "I know. I'm sorry" Beca moves a hand up and taps the knuckles lightly against the tile before turning and leaving the stall.

Chloe sighs loudly and turns around to try and steady her breathing and calm herself down. _That_ was something Beca really needed to stop, but it was like the brunette was escalating in her possessive behaviour. Chloe has left before without anything like that happening. Beca was confusing and impulsive and still, Chloe stays. That's just love.

* * *

As soon as Chloe walked into Beca's room, all she got was a thousand apologies and Beca being overly sweet to try and make up for the outburst. It was another red flag that gets ignored by Chloe. She knew that Beca was showing signs of an abusive person, and the cycle of abuse is on the way, she just needs to address it before it gets too bad. Sensitively, somehow.

"I'm just… I dunno, I freaked out. I had a bad dream that you were… I just.. I had a nightmare and you were gone, and I freaked out"

"Beca, sit down" Chloe says, which Beca ignores and moves closer

"Please don't break up with me, I'll do better. I can do better. I won't-"

"I'm not breaking up with you, Becs. We just need to talk about this. I need to talk about this" Chloe raises her eyebrows in expectation and Beca turns reluctantly before sitting on the bed and waiting. "Your anger and...possessiveness are going to become a big problem if we don't get it….better. Because as soon as you hit me, I'm-"

"I would _never_ hit you"

"Beca, you burst into my shower and scared the shit out of me. Can you seriously look me in the eye and tell me that it won't get worse if I let it?" Chloe stares down at Beca and nods when the brunette's gaze drops to the floor "Exactly. We both know you aren't okay, and maybe we can find a counsellor or something just to help….relieve stress that... _they_ can't relieve"

Beca's eyes close when she refers to the other girl. Chloe feels horrible every time Beca would start feeling guilty, but the more she talks about it, the better Beca can feel about doing it. Even though it sucked. A lot. "Okay" is all Beca says, prompting Chloe to get down onto her knees in front of Beca's legs and look up

"Baby, you're going to be okay, I promise. _We_ are going to be okay. You just need to try for me" Chloe rests her hands on Beca's knees and smiles up at her girlfriend.

"I will. I'll do it" Beca nods slightly and leans down slightly, hesitating. Chloe moves up to complete Beca's move and connects their lips.

* * *

Chloe actually managed to get Beca into the auditorium today. Practise was going well, all of the girls, except Beca, had kicked ass at the routine and they were ready. Ready as ever. The semi-finals were just over a week away and they were going to semi-kick butt. Chloe isn't in denial that their set isn't that great, but she loves everything about a-capella. The singing, the dancing, the bonding.

Chloe was friends with _everyone_ in the group. They were like a big happy family, except when Stacie and Aubrey argue, which has been happening a lot, but she stays out of it and tries not to watch her best friend hurting. Even Beca looked upset to see them argue. It was sweet of her girlfriend to care.

Chloe dismissed the group when the argument ended with Aubrey storming out, then Stacie followed and kept talking. Chloe felt the tension all through the dinner she had with the couple. They were just...different now. Arguing a lot and over stupid little things. It was way too early in the relationship for that, and it was sad. She was sad. She's been having a few arguments with Beca, and she really doesn't want to end up in the same boat.

"You okay?" Beca asks. Chloe nods at her as she stares over at the doors after everyone leaves quietly. It was almost like they were silent because their parents were fighting.

Chloe turns to look at Beca and smiles softly "I should probably go find Bree. Do you wanna meet later?"

"I really do. Text me, okay?"

Chloe nods and leans forward to kiss Beca quickly before turning to walk out.

She checks all of Aubrey's spots and comes up dry in each one, the blonde wasn't answering her phone whenever Chloe rings, and this is usually what happens when Aubrey needs time alone. Chloe decides to give her best friend the space she needs and starts walking back towards the dorm building.

When she rounds the corner of the building, she sees two girls arguing outside the door, and when she gets close enough, she recognizes them both. But why are Beca and Stacie talking so intensely? Chloe takes another step forward and freezes in realization.

Stacie's been acting different, Beca's been sleeping with someone. Stacie's underwear. Stacie showed up to Beca's _room._ The text message having the contact named S.

Chloe's tears well up fast as she watches the two girls arguing from a few yards away, completely unaware that she's even there. The tears start to fall when she blinks and she wipes at her cheeks as she tries to force herself to turn around. Only she's stuck there, letting her heart be shattered into a million pieces.

Beca's eyeroll sent a look in Chloe's direction and causes a tension in the brunette's body. Then Stacie looks. This gives Chloe the strength she needed to turn away and run. It gave her the strength she needed to ignore her name being called out to her. And it gave her the strength to stay away from Beca, or she hopes so, anyway.

* * *

Chloe isn't quite sure how long she'd been sitting against a tree in a grassy area, it took her ages before she could get a handle on her crying. Her phone was ringing so much she had to silence it to ignore Beca.

It was one thing to hurt her. But Aubrey didn't deserve that. How could Stacie do something like that? Stacie just jumped on _her_ girlfriend. Proving that the tall brunette is a horrible friend and girlfriend. And so is Beca. Both of them really deserve each other. They can go sleep around on each other and live unhappily ever after.

Chloe's tears start again, because she can't fathom leaving Beca, and that kills her. Now that she's also hurting Aubrey. Her best friend since she was a child. How is she going to tell her best friend that Stacie is cheating with _Beca_. If she _does_ tell Aubrey, it'll mean she can't even see Beca anymore. She wouldn't be able to do that to Aubrey, there was no way. But Stacie doesn't deserve to get away with it, neither of them do.

Chloe found her anger. And then she ended up outside Beca's dorm room, half expecting the door to be open to Beca face first in Stacie's lap. When Beca does open the door, there's no one else in the room and Beca looks guilty as hell. Which is justified. "How long?"

"Chloe, it's not what y-"

"Don't lie to me, Beca. I'm sick of you lying to me!"

Beca's gaze drops away from her, and she gets her answer after a moment "The whole time"

Chloe inhales loudly and turns her head away, feeling the stinging tears return "You just… you knew that… you knew she was my friend, you _knew_ she was dating Bree, my _best friend_ "

"I know. It was… it was just a game at first, and then it just….became a casual thing"

Chloe doesn't know how it happened, but her open hand connected with Beca's cheek and shocked her almost as much as it did Beca. "I _never_ want to see you again"

"Chloe, plea-"

"Don't! You could have fucked _whoever_ you wanted Beca. I was fine with you treating me like dirt. But Aubrey? She's my best friend. And she backed you up! And you were fucking Stacie this whole time!" Chloe turns away again when her tears fall. Beca tries to move closer and Chloe pushes her hand out to stop the brunette and walk away from Beca.

* * *

Feeling sad was starting to become a daily thing for her. Whether it was a little sadness or just a mountain of it. Chloe felt horrible, lying in her bed and hugging her pillow. Aubrey wasn't around, Beca was an asshole and all she has for comfort is a pillow.

But she'll stay here and wallow as long as she needs to. Which is probably going to be forever.

Aubrey came back after a few hours and joined Chloe in bed. Chloe couldn't say it, it wouldn't leave her mouth. Aubrey was already upset, and telling the blonde would cause a heartbreak that Chloe wouldn't be able to fix. She was the messenger that was going to be shot. So she stays silent and sleeps with her arm wrapped around Aubrey.

* * *

The two of them stayed mostly in the dorm room over the next couple of days, having best friend time and trying to build each other up, although Chloe has to say she also had an argument with Beca and not the whole truth.

Ever since the first night in the dorm, she blamed herself for Beca's need to cheat, and finding Stacie. Maybe if she put out, Beca would have used _her_ for sex and not Stacie, who Beca only met because they were friends, and maybe then there'd be no heartbreak.

When she finishes getting dressed after her shower, which kind of makes her feel better, she hears a knock at the door and turns to Aubrey on the bed. "Should I answer it?"

"I guess so" The blonde says with a shrug.

Chloe makes her way over to the door and hesitates for a moment to prepare herself for whichever girl it was on the other side. When she pulls open the door, it's Stacie, who catches a breath when Chloe was the one to answer the door. Chloe narrows her eyes and turns to Aubrey "It's Stacie"

The blonde looks back at her and nods slightly.

Chloe turns back to the brunette and starts moving around her, whispering "You're lucky you get another chance. Don't even _look_ at Beca" Stacie nods at her and all Chloe wants to do is slap her and yell this big secret out to Aubrey, but she turns around and leaves instead. Letting her best friend get walked all over, which feels like the hardest thing she's ever had to do.

Chloe feels her heartbeat hitting her chest harder and harder with every step closer to Beca's door, and by the time she knocked, it was almost vibrating from beating so fast. As she was about to turn around and walk away, the door opens. And there's Beca. Standing there in surprise and staring at her.

Chloe almost lets her wall drop and show Beca how upset she truly is, but she throws more up and moves forward into the room onto Beca's lips and shoving the door closed behind her. If she wanted to keep Beca, she needed to give herself over, completely. Chloe's desperate kissing sends them to the other side of the room until Beca was pressed against the wall.

The tears rolling down her cheeks didn't deter her mission. Her hips roll forward to grind herself against Beca and let the brunette know that she needed to be touched. But the touching that followed was Beca's push against her hips, moving her back and taking her out of the moment she needed to stay in. Chloe's hand comes up over her mouth when her wall breaks down and she's left crying and sobbing in front of the brunette.

Beca's arms were around her tightly for ages until she could calm down enough to push Beca off her and move to the other side of the room and wipe at her cheeks. The brunette was completely silent and Chloe knew that Beca felt guilty, she could tell by the redness around the brunette's bloodied knuckles that guilt wasn't the only thing pulling at Beca's heart.

"I need t-... I need you to fuck me, Beca" Chloe says, drawing in a sharp breath and trying to hold back more of her tears from being set free.

"No. I can't do that" Beca stares down at the floor, avoiding her look, which angers her and sends her across the room to Beca.

"Why? Because I'm not Stacie? Because I wasn't prepared to give myself over to you after the first minute?" Chloe shoves Beca, causing the brunette to hit the wall with a light thump. Now Chloe felt horrible, she hated how Beca turned her into someone that she hates.

"Because I love you" Beca says quietly

"How could you possibly love me and have sex with Stacie?"

"I don't know, Chloe. I just… I'm the worst person alive"

"No. You don't get to do that! You don't get to act all fucking self loathing and guilty when you're fucking _killing_ me. You purposely go out and find her to fuck her because you're angry with me and then you let me just…. walk back in and _support_ you. With _her!_ "

"I know. If I could take it all back, I would" Beca's eyes fixate on the floor again and Chloe crosses her arms over her chest.

"I don't believe that for a second, Beca"

Beca stands still, staring intently at the floor as if it holds the key to making everything better.

The longer Beca's silence lasts, the more Chloe feels her spirit breaking. She hates herself, but she can't stop herself either. Chloe moves forward again and her lips find Beca's, leaving a lingering kiss before moving back slightly, leaving their lips almost touching as they breathe against each other "Don't…. don't do it again, please. I can't do this if you're with her too"

"What… why are you-"

"Because I love you, Beca. I'm in love with you and I can't not be with you. But I can't… do it if.."

"I won't. I promise you I won't"

"Beca, your promises don't mean anything if you keep going back on them" Chloe drops her hand to Beca's injured hand, moving it up gently and moving back slightly when a tear from her cheek drops onto the back of Beca's hand.

"I'm sorry… I lost it. Like a lot." Beca's lips press against her cheek before the brunette moves her hand away and wipes her other cheek. "I'm sorry" Beca's voice begins to sound shaky and Chloe's heart breaks all over again as she moves forward and wraps her arms around Beca's shoulders tightly.

* * *

Even though her heart felt like it was stabbed a thousand times, laying in Beca's arms settled her. It made her feel secure, and loved, in the weirdest way possible. She'd been staring at the other side of the room for far too long and trying to work up the courage to turn over, which she does. And she finds Beca's eyes.

As soon as she moved forward, she had a feeling she was setting herself up for even more pain. Her lips press against Beca's, and her hand on the side of the brunette's head pulls them closer into a heated tongue kiss that ends in her moving on top of Beca.

The kiss breaks when Beca's hands find her wrist and pushes them against her shoulders, raising her slightly. "I can't.."

"You can, Becs. Please" Chloe bites at the side of her bottom lip when Beca starts shaking her head in response. "Make love to me" Beca's eyes close after her words and the grip on her wrists loosens, letting her move her hands back down to Beca's cheeks. "Look at me" Beca's eyes open again and Chloe moves one of her hands to Beca's, looking down as she guides it onto her side. "Touch me, Beca. And don't stop"

Beca takes a few moments before the hand movements start, taking it upward along her ribcage and over her breast, stopping for a moment to add pressure then moving up faster over her chest to the side of her neck and pulling her into another heated kiss.

Chloe's light moan doesn't make Beca's hand move too rapidly, it was travelling back down her chest, with the other hand joining it when Beca reaches her stomach and moves them over her sides onto her back, pulling her close. Chloe was practically laying on top of Beca as they kiss, and Beca's hands massage at her back slowly, keeping them at a slow pace that reassures Chloe in many ways that Beca was taking this as seriously as it was needed.

Chloe moves up just enough for their lips to be parted and opens her eyes to Beca, keeping her voice at a whisper "Unzip my dress" Beca's eyes open after a second and Chloe nods, then the hands on her back start moving up and find the zipper, then stop in hesitation.

"Are you sure you want this?" Beca asks quietly with a soft expression. Chloe's quiet contemplation lasts a few moments before she tilts her head to brush her lips across Beca's.

"I'm not sure about anything, but I need this" she whispers, leaning back slightly so she can stare down at the brunette "I can be everything you need, Beca"

"But do you _want_ this?"

"I've always wanted this, it just…. it wasn't… the right moment" Chloe feels Beca's hands slipping away from her slowly, dropping onto the bed, and she knows the moment was over.

"I can't. We can't. It isn't… the right time" Beca's hand moves between them to Chloe's cheek, holding her gaze "I can wait for you. I can. I won't even _look_ at anyone" Chloe moves up and off Beca to sit on the mattress. "Please, Chloe just give me a chance to prove it to you"

"I don't...know if I can even trust you. You've lied to me so many times already" Chloe stares down at the corner of the pillow, keeping her eyes anywhere other than Beca's. If she looks up, she knows she'll give in.

"I know. But… I can do this. I don't know what I'd do without you now. You're all I think about"

"Even when you're with her?" Chloe closes her eyes, trying to prepare for Beca's answer. But all she feels is the brunette's kiss on her cheek.

"I love you. Only you. Let me show you that I can be just yours. I'll do anything"

Chloe feels her heart splitting in half, one half of her was saying Beca was just going to break her down until there's nothing left, but the other was telling her to open her eyes and try it again. "I have...conditions" Chloe's eyes open to the pillow again, before she reluctantly looks up at the brunette.

"Anything, seriously, I'll do anything you need of me"

"Don't…. talk to her. Don't look at her or even _think_ about her. If you _ever_ touch her, you'll never see me again"

"I won't" Beca's stare looked frightened, and Chloe just hopes that it was out of fear of losing her.

"And if you disrespect me anymore, I'm gone" Chloe feels her heart piecing back together slowly when Beca starts nodding. "And you can't… you _won't_ control me, or yell at me for leaving your bed when I want to, or check my phone when you think I'm not looking" Beca's eyes drop to the bed and Chloe can't even feel horrible anymore, Beca _needed_ this. "If you break these conditions…"

"I know. I won't" Beca's eyes return to hers with a new intensity, as if maybe the promise was going to stick this time.

Chloe reaches her hand out and puts it over Beca's gently. "Thank you for… not letting me.." Chloe stops when the brunette nods, already knowing what she was going to say. Then there was silence. A long silence. "I should go check on Aubrey"

"Okay"

Chloe leans forward and presses her lips against Beca's, leaving them in the position for a few moments before moving back with a pain in her heart and shifting to the edge of the bed.


	11. Chapter 11

Beca had never been this scared in her life, even her father couldn't bring out the fear that was eating away at her insides when her relationship with Chloe was hanging by a thread, and it still is. There's a huge chance that she was going to slip, and now she has no more chances left. This was the last chance she has.

Staying in control of her feelings was the hardest thing for her, at the drop of a hat she could lash out in a ridiculously self destructive way, whether it was sex or pain. And in extreme circumstances, it's been both. Her abusive nature was shining through and she saw it clearly, but the willpower to stop it as it's happening is nil. She could only watch herself like some kind of movie. Sometimes she wonders if her father has any regrets about being abusive. Or whether he started out the same and just gave in. Which is something Beca refuses to do, she won't lose herself to this.

Chloe hadn't talked to her at all for a few hours, and although they left it sort of okay, she still felt like she doesn't have the redhead. Her world caved in because she was stupid enough to talk to Stacie outside. Or because she was stupid enough to even consider sleeping with Stacie.

Between trying to focus on mixing and playing on the internet, all she could think about was how much she hurt her girlfriend. The one person she's supposed to _protect_ from hurt. Ever since day one, she's been the cause of it, but there was no way she could let go. And Chloe was still hanging on for some reason.

It takes her a while to notice the message flashing at her from Chloe, and she almost broke the trackpad getting to it too quickly.

 _Chloe Beale 00:14_  
 _I miss you_

Beca's heart fills with an electric charge that she can't figure out is a good or a bad feeling.

 _Beca Mitchell 00:19_  
 _I miss you too_  
 _Chloe Beale 00:19_  
 _Can we talk for a bit?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 00:19_  
 _Yeah, of course_  
 _Chloe Beale 00:20_  
 _Are you alone?_

Beca's eyes close when the sadness fills her mind and the whole room feels heavy, like the walls were closing in on her. When she opens her eyes again, the message was still there, waiting for her, and likely killing Chloe.

 _Beca Mitchell 00:22_  
 _Yes_  
 _Chloe Beale 00:22_  
 _That took a while for you to answer_  
 _Beca Mitchell 00:22_  
 _It hurt._  
 _Chloe Beale 00:22_  
 _It hurts to have to ask that._  
 _Beca Mitchell 00:23_  
 _You don't have to ask it. I'm not going to do anything._  
 _Chloe Beale 00:23_  
 _You've said that before. You even promised me that you wouldn't hurt yourself and look at your hand._

Beca's eyes move to the dry blooded knuckles with a frown.

 _Beca Mitchell 00:24_  
 _When I lost you, I lost everything. I had to._  
 _Chloe Beale 00:24_  
 _What else did you do?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 00:24_  
 _Nothing else, I just hit things._  
 _Chloe Beale 00:25_  
 _Did you… with anyone else_  
 _Beca Mitchell 00:25_  
 _No. I didn't. I swear_  
 _Chloe Beale 00:25_  
 _Would you have if Stacie hadn't gone to see Aubrey?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 00:25_  
 _No_  
 _Chloe Beale 00:26_  
 _I should sleep. I have class in the morning._  
 _Beca Mitchell 00:26_  
 _I love you_

 _Seen 00:26_

Beca waits a while and doesn't get an answer, then she closes the window and leans forward to rest her forehead on the desk. Her body was filling with a cold rush of rage that sends her fist into the front of the drawer and causes her to draw in a sharp breath wince and look down at it. The bruising that was already around the knuckles heightened the pain from the punch.

As she stares down at her fist, she lets the realization settle in that she's already losing herself to her emotions. If she has any chance to be with Chloe, she needs to stop reacting so quickly and harsh. Otherwise her pain will be a different kind of pain and she'll never control herself again.

* * *

When Beca's eyes open, she feels the same amount of shit as she did after Chloe basically rejected her love. Maybe there really was no fixing this and she's already lost her girlfriend.

Beca sighs softly and props herself up on her elbow and turns to reach for her phone, freezing when her eyes settle on Chloe sitting at her desk. The redhead sees her movement and looks back at her with an almost smile.

"Sorry if woke you. I wanted to be here" Chloe bites at her lip and turns back to her laptop. Beca's heart feels like it skips 90 beats in a row and she sits up on the bed, staring over at Chloe as if she's a mirage. "Is it okay?"

"Yeah" Beca says, still in her daze, until Chloe glances back at her and snaps her out of it. "Yeah. No, it's totally fine" Beca almost puts her insecurity on display when Chloe's stare blares right into her eyes.

Chloe spins on the chair slightly, turning towards Beca "I'm sorry about last night… that was out of line. Especially when I was the one who wanted you to… be with people"

"It's fine, honestly"

"No, it isn't" Chloe's eyes drift away from her stare, finding something on the wall that was more interesting. "I wanted you to sleep with other people… and then you did. I just…"

"Didn't want it to be that specific person. I know, Chloe. That was…. the worst thing I could have done, and I did it"

"I know. And I'm never going to be able to trust either of you completely again. I see her with Aubrey and feel just…. disgusted. She can act so… natural and knows what she's been doing with you. _You_. My girlfriend. She…. she went behind Aubrey's back and my back to have _you_ " Chloe's eyes well up with tears and Beca has to stare at the redhead so she doesn't miss a second of the heartache that she deserves.

"She never… I don't.. let people touch me. Not like that"

"You think that makes me feel _any_ better?" Chloe's anger starts shining through the tears when they make eye contact. "I already keep going over it in my mind. Seeing you fucking her over and over again and then coming back to me. _Kissing_ me. You.." Chloe inhales a shaking breath and Beca loses sight of the bright blue eyes surrounded by red when they close. "I can't keep talking about this. It hurts too much"

"If you need t…. to leave.."

"I can't leave" Chloe's eyes open and stare down at the floor between them "I'm the idiot who fell too far in love with you to leave"

"I'm sorry" Beca says as her heart sinks deeper into her depression. Every part of Chloe was surrounded in the darkness that Beca pulled them both into, and now they're stuck.

"I just… I want to just sit in here. Without all of this hanging over my head. I just want to ...sit"

Beca nods and watches as Chloe spins the chair back to her laptop. Staring silently while the redhead touches the laptop that was basically her only possession that she _really_ cares about. Which isn't really true anymore. The only possession that matters anymore is the person touching the laptop. And that's only a problem because she isn't Beca's _possession.  
_

* * *

They sat in silence for almost an hour before Beca got up and left to shower, when she returned to the room, Chloe was still there. And sitting on her bed, watching as Beca prepared herself for the day. Every step of her wakeup routine was watched by the redhead, and it wasn't the worst thing in the world. Chloe wasn't staring at her with any contempt. It was just calm curiosity, every time Beca would look over, anyway.

Chloe suggested getting food as soon as Beca finished getting ready, and she practically jumped at the chance to keep Chloe close for the afternoon. Any chances she could get to show Chloe that she could change, she was going to take. And she is going to change.

But there's always something to remind her that it won't be easy when she's been so incredibly stupid when it comes to her promiscuity. When they walked into the café, the girl at the counter instantly recognized her and the girl had that tone of voice when she said 'Hey Beca' that makes Beca's eyes move instantly to Chloe, finding the heartache written all over the redhead's face, which quickly turned into irritation. Chloe looks back at her with pursed lips and moved in front of her, pushing a hand against Beca's stomach to make her take a step back. Beca looked down at the fist clenching around her shirt and back up when Chloe started to put in an order for _her_.

Chloe was always the opposite of possessive. Beca had the freedom to do anything, it seemed. But now, after their previous crap of a day, Chloe was jumping in front of her to stop her talking to a girl. And it was okay with Beca. The temptation wasn't there at all before to talk to that girl, but now it was minus one-thousand.

Chloe turns around after placing the order and stared back at her, there was still irritation flowing from the redhead, but it fades after seconds of eye contact and Chloe moves around her to lead her outside to a table. "I'm sorry" Chloe says as soon as she sits down.

Beca sits across from her and smiles slightly "It's okay"

"When did you.."

"It was before we met" Beca says, turning her eyes down to the table and tapping her fingers against the edge.

"She wasn't here the last time we were"

"No. She wasn't" Beca looks up at Chloe as the redhead looks away to the people around.

Chloe was silent for the rest of the time at the café, and kept looking inside and stabbing Beca's heart with the sad and insecure looks that the redhead would get. She _wanted_ to tell Chloe that she thinks Chloe's the most beautiful person she's ever seen, but the chances of Chloe actually believing it are slim to none.

Chloe didn't talk again until they were outside of her dorm, and it wasn't exactly something Beca wanted to hear anyway.

"Bec… I need to… I need to not be here right now" Chloe was avoiding eye contact with her like crazy, finding anything else to focus on instead.

"Okay… am I gonna see you again?" All Beca could do was stand there in front of the redhead, with her heart beating hard in agony as the silence falls over them both.

"Honestly? I'm.. not sure" Chloe was still avoiding her eyes, and completely missing her heart breaking all over again. Beca looks over at the wall and takes in a deep breath, which she holds when Chloe talks again "I know it isn't fair… to get upset over things that happened before me… or even during, because I did say that… it was okay for you to be with other girls, but.." When Beca looks back again, Chloe's finally staring back at her "We aren't healthy together, Beca. You… turn me into someone that I can't be, I'm not… possessive or violent and I've already slapped you and it's just… it isn't.. I'm not me anymore and I need to just not do this to myself, or you" Chloe moves in closer, kissing Beca's cheek gently before whispering "I'm sorry" and then the redhead was moving around her and walking away. And Beca can't stop it from happening, all she can do is watch Chloe walking out of her life.

* * *

Days tick over in a grueling slowness that kills her in different ways, Beca was just stuck in quicksand and sinking into nothingness. It doesn't seem to matter what she clings to anymore, she lost her only chance and pulling herself out.

Other than classes, Beca spends most of her time in her dorm room unless Jesse pulls her out of her self loathing to go out bowling, so she can _not_ talk to girls. This used to be one of the many places they'd come, and she would usually get at least a phone number. Only she didn't have any desire to even look. Which Jesse cracked jokes about until she'd frown and not react.

"Have you tried to talk to her?" He asks, bumping shoulders with her before getting up off the seat to pick up the bowling ball.

"She doesn't want to see me" Beca says quietly as she watches him turn to the lane

"Maybe she does" he says as he takes a few steps forward and sends the ball down the lane, right into the gutter. "Ah, fucker"

"She doesn't"

"How do you know?" Jesse says, turning back to her and walking back and waiting for the ball to return.

"She deleted me" Beca says sighing as she looks over at all of the pins still standing. "And I've just….shit all over her life. I'm not surprised she never wants to see me again"

Jesse turns to look at her, which she sees in her peripheral vision, but she doesn't want to look at him right now. "Yeah, you did"

Beca huffs slightly and smiles. "Thanks dude"

"Well being honest here, you did. You took advantage of her even before she gave you the golden ticket to do whatever you wanted. You knew Stacie was her friend before you started hitting her up for sex"

"I don't need a reminder, Jesse"

"I'm not saying this to be an ass, dude. Let me finish. We both know that you regret what you did. You haven't even looked at another girl since Chloe left" Jesse looks down at the ball and turns it over to show the holes and pick it up. "We both know that you aren't this crazy sex addict, so what's up with that? What pulled you down when you were with her?"

Beca's jaw clenches for a second and releases as she considers opening up to her best friend.

"Is this about your father?"

"Not completely. It's all… I made these decisions myself, Jesse. I'm responsible here. I can blame him as much as I want to, but it doesn't mean that I wasn't the one making the bed that I have to lay in."

"Well we both know what he does when you disagree with him in any way, or even slightly show that you're not that into God" Jesse turns back to the lane and starts setting up his next shot.

Beca waits until the ball was finished rolling down the lane into two pins to talk again as Jesse returns with a sigh "That doesn't mean that I get to be the same as him"

"Is that what you're doing? Taking on the role of your father?"

Beca looks at her side when Jesse sits next to her, he was staring back at her with a curious, but caring expression. Beca nods slowly and turns her head away to look over at the balls, finding her one waiting for her to get up. Which she isn't quite ready to do yet "It isn't something I wanted to do, and I don't know why I did it. I just… when that thing happened with Liza, and he was beating the shit out of me for it, he said this thing about Mom that just.. I dunno, it stuck with me or whatever and then I kinda just.. detached from girls" Beca stands up slowly, to avoid staying on the chair and letting herself get emotional.

"Does Chloe know this?"

Beca moves across to pick up her ball and turns her head to look at Jesse "No. She didn't… I told her enough to… let her know what's up. But… it's not as if it made a difference for me"

"What did he say about her?"

Beca turns to the lane and exhales loudly through her nose before she walks forward and sends the ball down the lane, knocking over all of the pins. "Just… nothing, dude. It doesn't matter anymore"

"It matters. It'll always matter if it keeps you from-"

"I'm not even doing anything"

"I know, but what if you two get back together?"

"Then that'll be a fucking miracle, because it'll never happen" Beca returns to the seat next to Jesse and leans back. "I've been going to confession"

"What for? You don't even believe in God" Jesse gets up after a moment to ready himself for his next shot.

"Just… because it kinda helps to hear from someone who actually follows the real version of God" Beca stares up at the ceiling, finding a line to focus on as she talks.

"Are you becoming a believer again?"

Beca smiles slightly and turns her head down slightly to look at Jesse "Not really, it's mostly just to cancel out the shit my father says all the time"

Jesse throws the ball down the lane, bypassing all pins except for one. "Trying to fix the holes, huh?"

"Something like that" Beca looks down at the standing pins and shakes her head at his horrible skills. "I think it might help though. The pastor said it isn't a big deal to be a homo, the bad part is the failing at keeping it in my pants"

"Which you've kinda got a handle on anyway"

"Yeah, until I do something stupid by trying to ruin someone's life" Beca looks down at the floor in front of her and hears Jesse's ball hitting the gutter on his next shot.

"You didn't ruin her life, Beca. You took a chance and you fucked up. It happens, dude"

"It doesn't happen like that for everyone. It didn't happen for her, she never even looked at other people and I _still_ got on her about it. I'm just such a fuck up" Beca leans forward, letting her previous feelings of guilt come rushing back into her and covering her face with her hands.

"Makes sense. Cheaters are always the ones who accuse the other person of cheating because they know they're fucking up. Not that you were really _cheating_. But you were sleeping with other people, and if you could do it so easily… what was stopping her? So you lashed out because of the possibility that she'd take advantage of being able to"

"When did you become such a mental health expert?" Beca's hands drop from her face after a few moments to stand up and go for her next shot.

"When I met you. It's easy to become a psychologist when you're so mental" Jesse pats her shoulder as he passes her to walk to the seat.

"Jee. Thanks." Beca's next shot is another strike and he huffs loudly in reaction.

"I still think you should talk to her"

Beca shrugs as she walks over to the seat again. "It isn't gonna happen. She hates me, and rightfully so"


	12. Chapter 12

Chloe's been trying her best to stay on track and shove her whole self into a-capella. Even though every time she was around Stacie and Aubrey being all happy together, she felt sick to the stomach. On one hand, it was fucked up that she let Stacie get away with it, but on the other hand… they looked actually happy now. Stacie was really _trying_.

They scraped into the ICCA finals, only just. And it kept Chloe busy for another couple of weeks until they came up. Classes were her only other distraction, and she _used_ to be failing quite a lot of her classes, but now she was acing almost every one of them.

Life without Beca was rough at first. The first week was too much for her to even think back on. She'd never been that depressed ever, but the moving time was making it almost okay to be without the brunette. And then there was the fact that she has the ring hanging around her neck on a chain. It wasn't like she still considered herself _with_ Beca, but she just...wasn't quite ready to completely let it all go.

Love was a tricky thing. Love let her look past all of Beca's faults, the anger, the jealousy, the way she'd always try to make perverted comments when it _really_ wasn't a good time. And the cheating. The cheating with that one specific person, that was the worst thing that she tried to look past. Part of her still wants to look past these things and go running back, but she can't, there was no way she'd let herself lose every part of her again.

But then life was tricky as well. It has a way of making you confront things that you're trying to avoid.

Chloe was backstage at the ICCA's when she first saw Beca since their breakup. The brunette was standing with Jesse and locked eyes with her as soon as she saw Beca. It almost felt like a bolt of lightning shot her right in the heart, even after she looked away, she could still feel the electricity in her veins, trying to make her look back again, or approach.

She didn't let herself do either.

Not until she was on stage. Which was probably the worst time to look to her side before they started and catch Beca's stare. Her nervous tick had changed as soon as she left the brunette, it used to be her lip that she'd impulsively focus on my biting, but now she'd reach up for the ring and start playing with it. It kept her grounded in a really odd way, like Beca was still somehow part of her strength, even when it came to be a strength to keep her _from_ Beca.

Chloe heard the musical horn from Aubrey, at least she thinks she did, but she didn't snap out of her stare until the voices started and pulled her gaze away to find her place and join in. Their routine didn't get much of a reaction, and it wasn't really that much different from all their other attempts, so it wasn't really that surprising when they lost to the Trebles.

The girls were on the bus, and even though they lost, everyone was in surprisingly good spirits just for singing and actually _placing_ at the finals. So it was nice that they were all bonding still and no one was really upset. Although Aubrey was annoyed, Stacie was there, holding onto Aubrey and making Chloe's heart hurt again. Not because it was Stacie, just because she misses that. She misses having Beca beside her to let her know that she was great, even if they lost.

Aubrey's expression changed when Chloe was staring at her, and then looked at Chloe, nodding at her slightly and making her eyebrows furrow in curiosity. Then the blonde visibly sighs and points. Chloe turns around and her heart stops. Beca was standing near the front of the bus, staring nervously back at her.

"I'm not...here to push for anything, I just… wanted to.." Beca lifts up a folded piece of paper and takes a step forward. Chloe's lack of movement must have given the brunette a little more confidence to move closer and hold the paper out to her. Which Chloe takes slowly, staring up at Beca as if it was still just a hallucination. Beca nods at her slowly and turns to move back out of the bus.

Chloe wasn't even sure if she wanted to open the letter, she'd been doing so well without Beca. Well kind of well. She wasn't doing _terrible_. Still, her curiosity was going to get the better of her sooner or later, and it might as well be sooner. Chloe unfolds it.

 _You were robbed. You guys were amazing. You were amazing._  
 _Sorry if this was out of line._

A drop hits the paper, and her hand moves up quickly to wipe at her cheeks so she doesn't completely ruin the letter. She looks up and catches Cynthia's sympathetic look before she returns her gaze to the note and fold it back up to put it into her pocket.

* * *

There was a celebration party being held at the inground pool for the Barden teams. And now 80% of Chloe was wishing that Beca was going to be there, but she wasn't holding her breath. That'd be the opposite place Beca would be. And as much fun as everyone around her was having, she just felt a tugging at her heart, making her look in the direction that she wants to be walking.

She made it _weeks_ without the brunette, and one single look and a letter has her wanting to run right back. And now her heart hurts again, because it wasn't fair. None of it was fair. Everything about Beca was just a one-sided situation. Beca got to be in the closet, Beca got to sleep with whoever she wanted _including_ her friend. Beca got to act like a giant ass and get away with it. All Chloe got was...Beca. Or part of Beca, really. She was never going to get all of Beca, and she has to stay far, far away.

"Hey. Sorry we kicked your butts" Jesse says as he walks over to her, handing over a cup. Chloe takes it with a smile.

"You did kinda cheat. I heard you were all sweet talking the judges"

"Yeah. You should have seen me with that old guy. Thank god for safe sex, huh?" Jesse says with a laugh as he looks out into the group.

"Gross." Chloe says quietly as she watches Jesse, her expression changing slightly to contemplation when she thinks about asking him where Beca is.

"So I know it's not really any of my business here" Jesse's eyes turn to her, and he starts tapping his finger against his cup "But…. she's changed, you know"

"Yeah… I'm not sure I.. it's just not something that I can do again" Chloe turns away, moving her hand up to her chest to pull on the chain until the ring hits her fingers..

"Not even if she was really different? She isn't a horrible person, Chloe. She just gets mixed up whenever her father drills things into her mind"

"Her father doesn't make her sleep with my best friend's girlfriend" Chloe brings the cup to her mouth and sips at it.

"That's true… and that was… low. And she knows it was low, but she also seriously regrets it. She hasn't even looked at anyone since you left"

"So I should go back to her because she's managed to not sleep with people in three weeks?"

"No, I just… You both miss each other, why can't you just...reconnect?"

Chloe looks over at Jesse and shakes her head softly "Because… I don't like myself when I'm with her. Those erratic mood swings and her inability to even…. I was being suffocated in her version of love, which is just… her control issues. She just loves the _idea_ of me"

"I'm not making excuses for her. What she did was fucked up, yeah. But you gave her the permission to...branch out. And yeah, Stacie was… the _worst_ choice, but it happened. And it stopped. And she's just completely cut up now and I haven't seen an ounce of Beca's douchey self in there. All she does is listen to songs that remind her of you so she can remix them and hurt herself a little more" Jesse sighs as he looks into Chloe's eyes. "Her father shakes her in the worst ways, I've seen it first hand. And after that time he beat her over her ex, shit just….went downhill."

"I understand that, Jesse. I do. But I can't just… I can't walk back into her life and risk it all being the same"

"I can tell you right now, Chloe. I really do not believe it's going to be the same. Just… just talk to her and you'll see. She isn't a horrible sex addict, she just lets her father get into her head too much, and what he said about her mother dying, it was just… she's had a lot on her plate"

Chloe furrows her eyebrows slightly, she hadn't even been aware that Beca's mother _did_ die. Still. Chloe can't give in to sympathy. She can feel bad that Beca's mother passed away, but that doesn't mean she should put herself in a horrible place. "What did he say?"

"That… isn't something I should talk about" Jesse shrugs slightly and points in the direction Chloe was considering earlier "Go ask Beca. She'll open up to you about anything just to have you even talk to her again"

Chloe releases the ring as Jesse smiles at her before walking away, leaving her to make up her mind on the next move she makes. Chloe lowers her head to look down at the ring hanging against her chest, and then reach up to hide it back underneath her dress. She spent over a week wishing that there was going to be any kind of reason to send her back, and this would have been something that could have pulled her back in, but now she was worried that it was too long. The ship may have already sailed on her feelings for Beca.

Which is why she starts walking, throwing the cup into the trash as she passes it. If she was over Beca, which she is pretty damn certain isn't the case, she could finally put all of this past her and move on. But if she's not over Beca.. things are going to get ugly again and she's setting herself up for _another_ heartbreak. Unless… Beca really _has_ changed.

Even standing outside Beca's door hurts. She spent the last few weeks actively avoiding this door just so she didn't have to feel this way. The longer she waits, the more it's going to hurt. Chloe inhales deeply and knocks on the door a few times, turning to look down the corridor until it opens. Then that lightning bolt hits her heart again.

Beca actually looks completely surprised that Chloe was even here. "Hi" is all the brunette says, and Chloe notices the change of breathing pace coming from Beca.

"Hey" Chloe returns with, letting her eyes move away for a second and come back when she forces herself to say what she needs to. "Tell me why you gave me that letter"

"I just… I didn't want you to be upset, or whatever..about losing" Beca's eyes were nervously darting around the corridor and Chloe can't help but find it slightly charming that Beca was still that nervous around her.

"I've been… going over this moment endlessly...what would happen if we talked again" Chloe feels for the ring over the material covering her chest, feeling the bump, and then bites at her lip because her heart was beating relentlessly and she really needed every bit of strength to focus.

"Me too" Beca says, a tiny smile showing and disappearing just as quickly.

"So tell me...Beca… tell me everything that you never got the chance to say, because this is….your one and only chance"

Beca visibly swallows hard and moves to the side with a little hesitation before Chloe takes a moment before walking into the dorm room. Which feels more dangerous to her than it probably is. The door clicks shut after a few moments and Chloe turns around to find Beca standing behind it and staring down. "I..um." Beca lets out a shaky breath and nods to herself "I'm not going to pretend and say that I'm not...responsible for my actions. I am. Everything I did… I did. I just… things put them into motion for me"

Chloe turns around slowly to move and sit on the desk chair as she watches Beca nervously navigate her mind for a minute.

"When I was younger.. my mother was always… the submissive housewife that my father would come home and lay into because I was… I was covered in mud, or I was bad, or loud, or just...anything, really. He would find...any reason to hit her. And um… one day, I uh… she was asleep and I was just… doing my thing in my room, playing with toys and shit and he got home" Chloe watches Beca's shaking, which must have been noticed. The brunette shoves them into her pockets and looks down at the floor again. "She was dead the whole time. Turns out a bottle of sleeping pills will do that"

"I'm sorry… I had no idea"

"I know. I don't.. talk about it. Anyway… so um.. I tried, you know, everything in my power to _not_ be like him. I had girlfriends, tried to just… be… the best I could, even though it was kind of eating at me that I was an abomination in the Lord's eyes and shit"

"You're not-"

"I know. That's just…. it's what I was taught to think. Anyway… so he had this way of...preaching the Lord's word and...if I ever disagreed or anything, I'd get hit and… he would say things about my mother, how it was my fault that she.. she didn't want an abomination, so she took herself out of the world and into Hell because it was a better alternative than...me." Beca exhales deeply and looks up at Chloe, swallowing visibly again. "I span out of control when I got with you, and I know that. I couldn't….get a handle on it. I couldn't be me, because I was lost to my own demons trying to fight being scared of him finding us and.. I'm sorry. I let you down, and it really… took you leaving for me to realize it." Beca shrugs and stands silently, staring over at her and probably seeing her heartache.

Chloe got her answer, but she got more than she expected. And now she's sitting in front of Beca, who just opened up completely, and she still can't completely trust the brunette, even though she knows all of that was true, and it does change things a little bit. But Chloe's heart was already broken and she didn't need excuses.

"I've been going to these meetings" Beca breaks the silence, and Chloe's eyebrows furrow in question "It's just.. sort of a group thing at the church down the street"

"I didn't know you go to church"

Beca nods at her and looks over at the bed before making her way to sit down. Chloe's eyes drop down to Beca's hands dropping to the bed, trying to make sure there were no marks. "It's like a kind of therapy type deal"

When her eyes move back up, Beca was staring down at the floor again. "That's good, Beca" the brunette nods slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor. Chloe stands up slowly, getting Beca's attention on her. "I should.."

"Yeah. Okay, sure" Beca gets up quickly and walks with her to the door, pulling it open for Chloe and just looking..different. Quiet, even. Beca had rarely been shy, especially considerting the brunetter _masturbated_ in front of her. But now there was a vulnerability in Beca that made Chloe want to stay, which she has to ignore.

She stops in front of Beca and looks at the brunette "I hope… one day we can be friends, Beca" Chloe gets a nod and a small smile from Beca. "I'll see you" She says quietly before walking out and letting out a long exhale as she walks down the corridor.

* * *

It didn't feel any better to have answers. She may even feel worse now that she knows Beca was in a lot of pain for _years_. And maybe now she's starting to blame herself a little more. She did put a lot of pressure on Beca to change, she was hard on Beca for sleeping with people because she was so….conflicted with how it made her feel to _share_ Beca.

And then Beca would get protective of her and she'd just… treat Beca horribly for caring, even if it was a little extreme. She just wasn't used to Beca's protective behaviour. She could have just… given over the control and helped Beca to feel better somehow. Maybe it would have helped if Beca thought that control was actually over the brunette's past and it could have allowed them to just _be_.

Chloe sighs as she lays on her bed hugging the end of her illow with the other end under her head. Her mind was running rampant with all of her excuses for Beca's behaviour. She knows it wasn't Beca's intention to make her feel guilty, or to push her back into her sadness, but it happened. And now she was battling with her mind over whose fault it really was. And she doesn't _want_ to blame Beca. Not now.

She could very easily blame Beca's father for making her feel detestable and unworthy of any kind of love, but it wasn't exactly his fault that Beca ended up with Stacie. Or may be it kind of was. But it was still Beca's decision to go for _her friend_.

Chloe sighs loudly. She was sick of thinking about that so much. It seems like every time she'd think about Beca, there would always be a thought about Beca and Stacie sleeping together.

The door swings open after a while and Aubrey walks in, or almost skips in and pushes the door closed. "Oh my god, I have had the best night ever"

Chloe smiles and starts sitting up, leaning on her arm "What did you do?"

"We talked, we danced, sang, talked some more, made out a little, or a lot. I'm so glad she got out of that funk ages ago" Aubrey walks over to Chloe's bed and sits down in front of her with a tilted head "Speaking of funks?"

Chloe looks down at the bed and reaches forward to pick at the sheet "I saw Beca tonight"

"Oh. About the letter?"

"Not really, no. Jesse said something about Beca needing to tell me something about her mother" Chloe looks up with a sadness "And now I'm just kinda… hating myself for not knowing sooner so I could help her"

"Chloe.. come on. You can't _save_ her, only she can. And she was horrible to you, if you stayed one more day even _I_ would have snapped" Aubrey's hand drops onto hers, stopping her pinching the material. "You're a great person, and she may be getting better now, but she really wasn't good to you. Don't beat yourself up over how it was before"

"But it wasn't about me" Chloe's tears start filling her eyes and she looks down as they begin to roll down her cheeks "It was about her father"

"No, Chloe. Her father didn't make her say those things to you, or sleep with other people, or act like a giant ass. That was her. And whether she was beaten or not, she had to have a general idea of things that aren't okay"

Chloe wipes at her cheeks and nods. Aubrey makes complete sense, and she knows that, but when it comes to Beca her mind was always messed up. "She seems different now"

"Unfortunately, Chloe…. that happens a lot with abusive people" When Chloe looks up as Aubrey talks, the blonde had an expression of regret "They have moments where they're sorry for what they did...and when you're back in the trap and they snap and… it happens all over again"

"So you think she'll never get better?"

"I just want you to be safe. If you move too fast with her.."

"I never said I was getting back together with her, Bree. I don't even… know if I want that"

"Okay...well you need to just remember that her problems won't be fixed in a day, and you aren't the one who fixes her" Aubrey says, watching Chloe until she nods. The blonde moves forward and takes her in a quick hug before moving across the room to start getting changed.


	13. Chapter 13

Beca hadn't heard from Chloe in the past four days, and she figured she wasn't going to. Just because she talked to Chloe about her family and abuse situation, doesn't mean that the redhead should, or will forgive her. She just got back into her dorm after hanging out with Jesse again. It was almost a daily thing for her now, and it was probably a good thing, she was going to fall into a darker mood had she not found Jesse's distraction powers.

Beca turns the power on her laptop on and moves across the room to change into pyjamas while it loads. When she gets back, her first stop before her mixing software is Facebook. And when the clicks the message notification, it isn't from Jesse. But it is from Chloe.

 _Chloe Beale 16:32_  
 _Hey_

Beca stares at it for a moment before replying

 _Beca Mitchell 17:56_  
 _Hey. I was out with Jesse_

She waits a while and gets no response, then clicks over to Spotify and closes her eyes. This is her new process for some reason. Find a song that reminds her of Chloe, and then remix it.. and then save it to a folder to never be seen or heard because Chloe will never forgive her ever.

She didn't notice the flashing window until she had been listening to songs for ages.

 _Chloe Beale 19:02_  
 _It's okay_  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:58_  
 _Are you okay?_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:01_  
 _Yes. Are you?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:01_  
 _Yeah_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:04_  
 _I'm sorry for messaging out of the blue, I just wanted to talk_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:04_  
 _It's okay. About what?_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:05_  
 _About anything. I just wanted to talk to you._  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:05_  
 _Oh. Okay. Well I've been listening to songs, trying to get inspiration for a new mix, but I can't really find ones that'll work._  
 _Chloe Beale 20:06_  
 _You'll find one eventually, maybe you're trying too hard_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:06_  
 _Yeah, I am._  
 _Chloe Beale 20:07_  
 _Your birthday is soon_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:07_  
 _Yeah. Totally looking forward to that, not_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:07_  
 _Anything planned?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:07_  
 _Dinner with my father and Jesse on Saturday, but on my actual birthday I'll probably just hang out here or with Jesse_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:12_  
 _Maybe we can get a coffee or something on Monday. I got you something_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:12_  
 _You didn't have to get me anything_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:12_  
 _I kinda bought it for you like the day after you told me your birthday was coming up. I'm weird like that_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:12_  
 _I'm actually not surprised at all_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:13_  
 _I know. So can I see you on your birthday? Or any day is fine, I guess. I can bring it over tomorrow if you want_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:13_  
 _Monday is fine. I think you'd prefer it to be on the actual day, right?_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:13_  
 _I would have expressed my disappointment if you asked for it early, yeah :)_  
 _I'll talk to you tomorrow, I have to study for once, bleugh._  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:13_  
 _Okay. Have fun with that, I'm gonna avoid studying and blast some more music into my head_  
 _Chloe Beale 20:13_  
 _Please don't go deaf before your birthday_  
 _You can do it after Monday_  
 _Beca Mitchell 20:13_  
 _I'll blast it at a non-deafening volume._

Beca exhales so hard she thought she was going to cause a hurricane for a second there. She just had a semi-normal conversation with Chloe. Even though it was still obvious with text that there was an awkward tension between them. Or maybe that was just on Beca's behalf and she was thinking too much. But there's the tiniest hope that Monday could be...the start of an actual friendship at least.

* * *

Saturday rolled around almost too quickly. Beca hates birthdays, she always has since her mother passed. Her father would always just find new ways to gift the same thing. She has a Bible in almost every design because he's so annoying. At this point he probably thinks _he_ is Jesus. Still, she has a few hours until she even has to see her father anyway, so she has enough time to prepare herself for her new stupid Bible cover.

Beca's at the café, reading an article on her phone when she gets a text message from Jesus Father. _'I just saw your girl friend Chloe asked her to come 4 dinner ok?'_

Beca sucks in air and holds it. She could either throw her phone into the traffic of people walking by, or smash her phone against the table until there's nothing left.

'I thought it was just going to be us + Jesse'

 _'told her 2 invite Luke 2 whats problem?'_

"God, you're so fucking…" Beca drops her elbow onto the table with a thud and rests her head against her hand. 'What did she say?'

 _'y I'm msging u, shes standing right here waiting 4 ur answer'_

 _'looks unsure bc ur taking so lon being rude beca? shes ur friend'_

'I'm not being rude. She's invited. I was just distracted ordering coffee. It's fine'

Beca extends her arm out and drops her forehead to the table. Now there was some added pressure for her. Her ex girlfriend at her birthday dinner with her father and her fake boyfriend. And then she has to see Chloe with Luke as well, ugh. And if her father even looks at Chloe, she's going to vomit. This goes on the list of the worst night of her life. She'd take a singing Bible over this any day. They better not exist.

* * *

Beca was almost back at her dorm when her phone started buzzing in her pocket. And with a loud sigh and a wish that it was anyone but her father, she takes it out and sees Chloe's name staring back at her. She almost drops the phone from moving so rapidly to swipe at the screen "Hello?"

"Hey. I just… wanted to say I didn't.."

There was a small silence, which Beca broke into "No, I know. He's kind of relentless. I'm sorry you're put into it. You don't have to come, you can just… say you contracted the plague"

A small laugh comes from Chloe, sending a gang of butterflies into her stomach to attack her insides with nerves. "I'll let you know. You look nice, by the way"

And now the butterflies have machine guns. And Beca's looking around the area to try and find Chloe "So do you?"

"You can't even see me"

"That's because you're hiding, I'm guessing. Where are you?" Beca stops looking after scanning the entire area as best she could.

"I'll see you tonight, Beca" And then Chloe's voice was less playful. Which is probably because the redhead let herself get too comfortable. Beca hears the phone go silent after a small beep and takes it away from her ear to look down at the screen.

There's always going to be a reminder that Chloe isn't hers anymore. Beca sighs softly and turns back to the building.

* * *

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Beca. I spoke to Luke just before and he's kind of excited to test out his acting abilities" Jesse says as he watches Beca shoving her arms into the sleeves of her shirt.

"Dude that last thing I need to hear about is his _excitement_ to be there with Chloe" Beca huffs and walks across the room to pick up her phone and check for any messages from Chloe to say they're cancelling and never ever going to show up and kill Beca just a little bit more.

"It isn't like _that_. Luke has an actual girlfriend"

"Didn't stop me" Beca says quietly before shutting the screen off and pushing it into her back pocket. "Lets just go"

"Beca, how long are you gonna feel bad about that?" Jesse says as he gets up from the bed when she walks towards the door.

"Forever? As long as I need to? Why would I stop when it makes me feel so great" Beca pulls open the door and really wants to punch it. But she refrains and steps out of the room instead, waiting for Jesse to come out and pull it shut behind him

"You've settled down now, I really don't think you need to keep torturing yourself with it"

Beca locks the door and turns to Jesse before moving around him to walk.

"Come on, dude. Why can't you just accept that shit happens and you're doing your best to fix the mess? This therapy thing you're in is going well for you, I haven't seen any destructive parts of you in forever" Jesse's points are valid, but she's not exactly the kind of person who focuses on the good.

"Lets just get this dinner over with, and then we'll see if the therapy is actually working. If I can make it through this without mass murder and suicide, then I'll know"

"If you make it through this with no accidents… you should ask Chloe out" Jesse smirks and laughs at her snapping her head to look at him.

"Dude, fuck you. I'm never going to get her back and you're making fun of me for that?"

Jesse's smirk wipes off his face into a sympathetic smile, and his arm moves up to her shoulders, pulling her close as they walk together "You'll get her back one day. Love never dies"

"You're such a movie cliché"

* * *

Some people say when there's a near death experience that your life flashes before your eyes. And this wasn't exactly a near death experience, but as soon as the front door open and Chloe was standing in the doorway, right in Beca's line of sight. Her whole relationship with Chloe flashed before her eyes. Now whether that means she was about to see the death of any possibility of having a relationship or not, she was going to find out soon.

"Hey" Chloe says, moving past her father into the hall as Luke shakes her father's hand in greeting. Chloe looked perfect as always, which is something she wasn't allowed to say, even if they were alone.

"Hey" Beca returns with, taking her eyes off the redhead for just a moment when her step-mother walks in to greet the couple. The fake couple. Another thing that she can admire about Chloe was the acting skill. And Chloe was fast on her feet, there was no way Beca could make up a relationship in a split second. It was _Jesse's_ idea that they fake date. But Chloe had met Beca's father, and didn't even hesitate before coming out with a story.

Beca's admiring gaze would have got her into trouble had Jesse's elbow not connected with her ribs and pulled her out of it. She couldn't even be annoyed at him to making her stop looking at the redhead. He kind of just saved her ass.

Beca had to sit directly opposite Chloe at the table. Which is really just God being an asshole again. Dangling temptation right in front of her and having to deal with Chloe pretending to be interested in Luke. She'd have to watch Chloe's hand moving up to Luke's shoulder and linger there as she talks about how they met, which gave her the chance to see that there was no ring on Chloe's finger anmore. Not that it was surprising. Her and Chloe have been over for weeks. Weeks and weeks. Too many weeks.

Her anger didn't really flare until her father asked Chloe about the possibility of a wedding, and Chloe hadn't even looked in her direction before saying yes. There was no hesitation at all, and now Beca was starting to think that they _weren't_ a fake couple. She couldn't even think about Luke having a girlfriend already, that was a thousand miles behind her. And then her father makes a comment about the wedding night and she has to close her eyes.

Until she feels something against her leg and looks over at Jesse, who is way too busy shoving food into his mouth to even notice what the hell is going on. She glances down at the plate, trying to see through the table to find what the pressure was. When she looks up, Chloe was looking at her. Beca swallows hard with the intense eye contact happening.

"Well I remember our wedding night was one to remember" she hears her father say, it sounded like he was talking under a pillow, like he was at a distance, or her ears were turned down. Maybe she did deafen herself with those songs. Her mind snaps back into reality when everyone was laughing, and Chloe turns away to smile and feign interest. Which is something Beca couldn't quite do just yet. Chloe just pulled her completely out of herself, there was no anger, no jealousy, not even nerves. She was just sitting there paralyzed in her stare.

Beca snaps out of her stare quickly when her father touches her shoulder, which sends a jolt of fear through her "This one over here once did that. Borrowed my car for a date with Jesse, do you remember that?" he says looking over at Jesse. Missing Beca's exhale of relief.

"Yeah, I remember that.." Jesse smirks over at Beca. And now she's huffing and turning down to smile at her plate. That was the night they set up the car to make it look suspiciously gross. All with the intention of making her father contradict himself after calling her disgusting for having a girlfriend.

"Condom wrappers _all_ over the car. I had to sell it and buy a new one just because I was so worried." Her father was sickeningly proud of that happening. Like he was glad that she was giving herself away before marriage _only_ because Jesse wasn't a girl. "I'm just glad to hear you're saving yourself though"

Beca looks up and sees her father looking at Chloe. But she doesn't even recall hearing Chloe say that. Although she wasn't _exactly_ listening. Surely she would have noticed that part. Chloe smiles and nods back at him, staying quiet and glancing over at Beca before looking down at the glass of water.

Beca flashes between trying to figure out when her father would have had the chance to even ask Chloe about that, and thinking she wants to _be_ that glass of water when Chloe lifts it. Then she just feels sad because she reminds herself once again that she's a fuck up.

"How about we clear the table and get to the gifts?" Her father says, standing up and taking her plate away. Chloe goes to stand and Luke touches her shoulder.

"Stay, babe. I got this" Luke says, punching Beca's heart as he starts collecting plates.

"Such a gentleman" Chloe says with a smile up at Luke. Beca has to swallow the lump in her throat before she sets everyone on fire.

"Aww." Her step-mother says, adding insult to injury. Luke walks out with her father, and now she just wants the floor to open up and suck her into Hell already. Unless this is actually Hell and she died in her sleep. It does actually feel like Hell, and this would be the perfect form of torture. "So, Chloe" Her step-mother starts "Just between us girls, what base have you got to?" Definitely Hell.

"Oh, well… I don't really know the bases all that well. We haven't… gone all the way. That's all I'm saying" Chloe gives a little smirk and leans back onto the chair.

Her step-mother laughs softly and sips at the wine in the glass "I was the same way. Do everything _except_ the penetration." Jesse clears his throat loudly, and Beca could not love him any more for that. Her step-mother blushes slightly and reaches over to him with a laugh. "Sorry Jesse! I forgot you were here. Gosh" Her step-mother really was an idiot. Beca moves her tongue around her teeth, now she has to get a handle on herself again. She can't lose control in front of Chloe _ever_ again. The night was testing the shit ouf of her though.

"Okay!" Beca jumps slightly when her father enters the room with a yell. When she looks over at the doorway, he's walking in holding gifts. Making her cringe. The worst part about birthdays is having to open presents and pretending to like them, and even if she does like them, it's fucking weird to be stared at in expectation. "We'll start with the biggest one first"

Beca looks down at the box in front of her and flips open the small card, seeing Jesse's name and huffing out a smile before standing up to start pulling open the paper. A prayer enters her mind in hopes that this gift wasn't going to be the most embarrassing thing in the world. There's a plain box underneath the paper and she looks over at him curiously before turning back and pulling open the box and finding it _full_ of packing peanuts. "Really?"

"Yeah, you gotta fish around for it, it's in there" Jesse nods at her with a smug smile and she sighs before putting her arm inside and feeling around until her hand hits a box, at this point, the foam peanuts were overflowing and spilling onto the table and floor, and when she raises her arm out. She sees the headphones in her hands that she's been drooling over forever.

Maybe this wasn't Hell. Because this is _awesome_. "Dude…" Beca turns to look at Jesse and she knew what she was _supposed_ to do now. But she can't. Not with Chloe sitting across the table. She turns and leans down to hug him instead, whispering to him "You're seriously the best friend I could ever ask for" He rubs her back before she stands up to her father moving the box off the table and putting a new present down. Which is definitely going to be a bible.

She back down on the table and puts the headphones down next to the new present, pulling at the paper until it reveals, shock horror, a bible. It was a white leather cover. The last time he got her a black leather cover, she mentioned that animal abuse was involved in making the leather, which got her quite the whack around the head _with_ the bible. "Thanks. It's beautiful" It isn't that easy to act like you're totally into a book that you've received every year for as long as you can remember, but thanks to the headphones sitting right next to the book, she was smiling like it actually _meant_ something.

Then her father puts the next gift in front of her and she looks across the table at Chloe. "It's just something I picked up" the redhead says, waving her hand like it was nothing. And now her heart was speeding up. Beca looks down at the small box and takes the paper off to find a velvet covered box, which was larger than a ring box, but obviously some kind of jewellery was inside. When she opens it up, there's a completely black cross inside, which just makes her grin.

"This is really cool" Beca says, reaching forward to take out the presenter cardboard and lifting the chain off. Jesse reaches over to her and she lets him take it from her so she can hold her hair up and let him put it on. While wishing it was Chloe's fingers touching her neck. Still, she can look over at the smiling redhead. "Thanks"

"You're welcome, Becs"

"Well I for one, am not quite sure how I feel about the black cross. But at least it isn't upside down" Her father says, collecting all of the wrapping paper as she releases her hair and looks down at the cross, picking it up with her fingers and admiring it. When she turns it over, she sees a C in the middle of the cross. And now she just feels like she's floating away.

"We should really get going, I have an early morning planned" Chloe says, pulling her attention off the necklace and up to the redhead. Whether this means anything between them or not, she was feeling strangely more comfortable having Chloe near her again.

"Thanks for coming, and for the necklace" Beca stands up with everyone else joining in walking the couple out.

The exit was just as awkward as the entrance, not knowing whether there should be a hug, or even an acknowledged ...thing there. And Chloe's hand moves up to rub her arm in some kind of relaxation technique that completely fails. "I'll see you Monday" Chloe says before leaving it at the arm rub and walking out hand in hand with Luke. Which was really… the worst thing to watch. Well the second worst. She had to watch Chloe walking out of their relationship. _That_ was the worst.

* * *

Beca's father dropped them back at the campus near her dorm building, and at this point the headphones were already around her neck so she can shove them into her laptop and have eargasms as soon as she walks into her dorm. And the necklace was just adding extra beats into her heart every time she'd feel it move with her fast paced walk.

Kissing Jesse had lasted about half a second before she said 'Okay bye!' and took off. He already knew she was excited about the headphones, so his laughter faded into the distance she passed in that few seconds after their goodbye.

She hit her door with a thud because apparently turning the handle is something that needs to happen before it opens. Then she had to wait for her laptop to boot up before she can start blasting songs at a _lower_ volume, because she's not allowed to go deaf just yet. Which makes her slightly unhappy because now she's remembering Chloe with Luke again. Which sends her into a deeper unhappiness. Chloe isn't hers to get jealous over, there was nothing left there. Chloe doesn't even have the ring anymore.

Beca sighs, which she can't even hear over the music. Then she opens up Chrome and loads Facebook. No notifications. So she clicks on Chloe's window and looks over their last messages before typing a new one.

 _Beca Mitchell 21:42_  
 _Thanks for the necklace. It really is amazing._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:42_  
 _That isn't your official present, I picked that up today after your father invited me over_  
 _And I'm sorry that tonight was hard for you. Are you okay right now?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 21:42_  
 _Yeah.. I'm fine. This really isn't my present? Why did you get me two?_  
 _Chloe Beale 21:43_  
 _Because the other one isn't really something you can open around your father. It isn't bad or anything, it's just not really… I bought it when I was into you, and it's pretty clear that it won't be appropriate_

Beca sinks into the chair and sighs. _When_ Chloe was into her. She knew that there was no hope for them, but hearing that was like getting kicked in the heart by a giant. It just sucked to have Chloe completely lose feelings for her.

 _Beca Mitchell 21:45_  
 _It's cool. I understand._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:45_  
 _How was it after we left?_

Another kick in the heart. Since when were Chloe and Luke a _we_. Beca huffs and considers throwing her laptop across the room. She switches windows to find anything else to play, something that can match her mood and keep her anchored so she didn't act out and ruin shit again. Then she switches back and opens a new message window.

 _Beca Mitchell 21:47_  
 _Hey. I hope it's okay that I message at this time, I just needed to get some feelings out. I had a weird dinner with my ex and father and it just sucked. And now I feel even more lost without her._

 _Beca Mitchell 21:47_  
 _It was fine. Nothing else really happened, they just talked about how cute you two are together._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:47_  
 _Emmy award winning performances from all of us, I guess. Except you. I could see you getting angry from a mile away. Which is why I asked if you're okay._

Beca's eyes move to the oncoming dots from her other window and waits for the message.

 _Fred Jenson 21:48_  
 _Hello Beca. The important thing is to not focus on letting your reactions get the better of you. Close your eyes and take a moment to remember that getting angry won't solve anything at all. Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you._  
 _James 4:2-3 - You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions._

Beca sighs and closes her eyes, letting her head hang for a moment, and even though she has a really loud rock song blasting away in her ears, she takes a deep breath "Lord, please grant me the strength that I need here. I'm not asking you to take this trial away, but I need your guidance. Let me see the true direction that you want me to go in. Just… any sign at all"

 _Chloe Beale 21:52_  
 _I'm excited for you to see it on Monday though. I think it'll make you smile. Maybe it'll make this friendship a little easier to lessen the tension. I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm still a little unsure._

Beca stares at the screen and looks up at the ceiling. "Seriously dude? That's a sick joke" Beca sighs and returns her eyes to the screen before typing, and then deleting. And then typing again.

 _Beca Mitchell 21:53_  
 _I'm sure it'll be a great present. We don't have to force the friends thing though. We're just getting coffee and talking. Nothing more to it._  
 _Chloe Beale 21:53_  
 _Okay, thank you. I just don't want to make you think that there's a hidden agenda with the meet up. And I know I can say things that might sound like I'm leading you on in some way, but it's really just out of habit._

Beca's heart fills with pain again, and now she feels somehow _worse_ than Chloe saying _was_ when talking about being interested in Beca. Chloe had obviously stopped having feelings for her. She got her answer from God. And it wasn't surprising, at least it shouldn't be surprising. But it still hurts. So she closes the window and looks down at the drawer next to her. When she pulls it open, the new piece of paper was on top of the pile. Calling her a homophobic slur and staring back at her with all of the hate in the world.


	14. Chapter 14

Chloe never got a reply from Beca, although the brunette saw the message. And now she's regretting the little warning. She really _didn't_ want to lead Beca on in a way that would cause Beca to make a move. And that move might not get rejected by her, which is the scary part. She doesn't want to jump into something and find out that Beca's just going to be a repeat offender.

Chloe rolls over onto her back and sighs up at the ceiling. Her mind was focused on Beca, as it usually is, frustratingly enough. Beca looked like she was going to burst into anger during dinner, and it scared her to see it so close, especially when Beca's father was in arm's reach. Which is the only reason she moved her foot up to Beca's leg to get the brunette's attention. And it was nice to see that it worked _that_ well. Beca's anger dissipated in half a second when they made eye contact. But the fact that the anger was still there, it showed that Beca still had problems with it. And if the anger was still there, the rest of the problems may still be.

Just when Chloe's sadness was starting to settle in, Aubrey and Stacie crash into the room and make her jump. They hit the wall just inside the door and start making out, before even checking for her in the room. She sighs softly and turns back to the ceiling, leaving them to get it on over there. She isn't shy, and it isn't as if they don't get it on while she's sleeping anyway. Even though most of the time they start before she isn't even asleep.

Although when the moaning starts, she reconsiders allowing them to continue. "Guys" A few squeals follow after her voice enters the room, and then shuffling around and Chloe turns to look at them after a few moments, catching Aubrey's blushing face.

"I am so sorry. We thought you were still out" Aubrey says, crossing her arms tightly to her chest in an embarrassed pose.

"It's like… ten. Why would I still be out?"

"Maybe it went really well and you were in Beca's bed?" Aubrey says with a smile that fades quickly when Chloe turns back to the ceiling. "Sorry, Chlo. How did it go though?"

"It was awkward, sad, scary" Chloe turns back to the girls and sees Stacie looking anywhere except for her, which is usually how Stacie is since she caught them out. Aubrey moves across the room and sits down on her bed, leaning over her stomach onto an arm.

"What was scary? Did her father hit on you again?"

"No, gross. I think he got the point when I said I'm not interested at _all_. It was scary because Beca got...angry, at least she was starting to. And so it worried me that she's exactly the same"

"Oh, that sucks, Chloe." Aubrey moves up on the bed to lay down against her side with an arm and a leg over her "Stacie and I will hug it all out of you. Come over here babe"

"I'll go get ice cream" Stacie says, avoiding the whole idea.

"Yes! Stacie will get ice cream and we'll all wallow" Aubrey smiles and kisses Chloe's cheek. And all she could do is watch Stacie leaving and hoping that the brunette isn't planning on going anywhere near Beca when she leaves. Which she feels every single time that Stacie leaves. And she has no idea whether Stacie actually has or not, which is the annoying part.

* * *

It was Monday, and 12:20pm. Chloe has been sitting here for forty minutes waiting for Beca, who was supposed to get here _twenty_ minutes ago. The present on the table in front of her was mocking her, calling her an idiot for ever believing that Beca could be serious about anything. Chloe sighs and stands up, then starts moving away from the table, leaving the present there.

"Chloe!" She turns around to her name being called and sees Beca running up and straining to breathe. "Oh jesus.. I'm fucking dying. I'm sorry" Beca leans forward and takes a few breaths until managing a better heart rate "I'm sorry I'm late. I seriously did not mean it. I was on my way like an _hour_ ago and then this person hit a dog like in the..that little street thing where the admin building is and they asked me to help and I couldn't like… hold the dog in the blanket and use my phone and I'm really.. I'm sorry" Beca stops talking, and Chloe searches the face in front of her until she nods.

"Your gift is still over there" Chloe says, looking over at the table where the wrapped box was waiting. Beca turns to look over at it and then back at Chloe.

"Okay… so can we maybe start this over?"

Chloe was apprehensively taking a moment before she nods and follows the relieved brunette back to the table. Chloe picks up the box and holds it out to Beca.

It takes Beca a moment of staring before putting the box down on the table and unwrapping it. Chloe wasn't _exactly_ sure this was a good idea. When she looks over at Beca staring down at the framed photo, Chloe really wants to snatch it out of the brunette's hands and throw it as far as she can. She had taken the photo of Beca while the brunette was asleep and decided it was a great idea to frame it in a 'Best Wife Ever' picture frame surrounded by hearts. Only now that she's sitting across the table from Beca, after they've broken up, she realizes this is a horrible thing to do. Especially to Beca. "Wow, this is…. an odd mix of creepy, nice and heartbreaking" Beca says, looking down at the present.

"I'm sorry, I just realized it was insensitive to give it to you. Maybe we should just… just give it back and I'll get rid of it" Chloe chews at her lip and stares across the table at Beca.

Beca hugs the picture frame to her chest and looks back at her. "Can I keep it? I mean I'm not...like. I don't think it's a hint or anything, I know it isn't a thing… but I kinda… I like it. It's very… you"

Chloe looks away from the brunette to distract herself with the people passing. She can't let herself become too comfortable and say something bad. "Yeah, that's fine" she says without looking back.

"Thanks"

After a few moments, Chloe lets her eyes move back to the brunette, catching Beca trailing fingers down the photoframe. Then she starts to stand up "I should really get going, I have class soon"

"Oh.. okay. Well it was...nice seeing you. And thanks again for.." Beca holds up the frame higher and stands up.

"Yeah. I'll see you" Chloe nods a few times before moving out from behind the table and starting her walk back to her dorm. Where she was going to process all of these feelings clawing away at her heart. If she can even make it that far.

It really was a horrible idea to gift that. And now she had the image in her mind of Beca's fingers trailing down the photo frame as if it was the most fragile yet beautiful thing in the world. Which is something Beca should have done with her fucking heart instead of throwing it off a cliff and shattering it into pieces.

By the time Chloe got to her dorm, her hands were shaking, and she wasn't sure if she was more angry or upset. The tears weren't much of a hint, because she cries when she's angry as well.

One day, and hopefully one day soon, she'll stop crying over Beca completely. She just needs to get Beca out of her mind somehow. Every little thing she does reminds her of the brunette. Watching movies on her laptop, hearing _any_ song ever. People wearing headphones, plaid shirts, her bee socks that Beca made fun of once. Stacie.

Chloe swallows the lump in her throat from her crying as she walks over to her bed and lays down. Her stare was directed at Aubrey's bed, making her heart hurt more. Stacie _had_ come back with ice cream the other night. But who can say whether or not that trip involved a pit stop in Beca's room. Maybe they ate it off each other and laughed about it.

90% of her knows that Stacie didn't go anywhere near Beca, and hasn't since she found them out. But there was always something picking at her that tells her _not_ to trust Stacie. And maybe that was because she _wants_ Stacie to fuck up again. Just so Aubrey can know the truth. Which was always going to kill her. She never told Aubrey the _truth_. Beca made her a liar too. And she still can't hate Beca.

* * *

Chloe decided it was best to not see Beca again. All of the feelings just rush back into her every time she does. And maybe that's because she never really processed it all, or got to talk it all out, or something. Either way. The feelings were just as strong as before and it was way too much of a problem.

So she'll avoid that problem. She's going to avoid Beca, and stop hating Stacie so much. Because Stacie really _is_ trying to be happier with Aubrey. Chloe watches them every time they're together, and Aubrey smiles so much it makes _her_ smile. Second chances are good when people take them seriously, and Stacie was taking hers seriously.

Chloe sighs as she walks out of her class and sees Beca's father noticing her and waving. Hopefully it wasn't completely obvious to him, but she really wasn't interested in having another conversation about her faux relationship with Luke. "Hello Dr. Mitchell" she says as he rushes over to her.

"Please. John. Like the Bible" He makes this joke every time she calls him Dr. Mitchell. And one day she might get annoyed just enough to say something, but it isn't exactly in her personality to confront people like that. "How are you today? You look lovely" he says as he reaches out to her arm.

"Thanks. I'm good. I just finished my Art History class." Chloe says, glancing quickly over at the doors and wishing she could just escape this conversation. She moves her body back slightly, giving him the hint not to touch her.

"Ah, yes. Never been that into art myself, but there are some good paintings, like the depiction of the Last Supper" He says, Chloe had to control herself and not let out another sigh. All he talks about is religion, it was sad. "I love a good beauty" His gaze was extremely pointed right now and this is the part where Chloe has to make something up before he gets gross.

"I have to meet Luke. We're going out today" Chloe moves around him quickly and starts walking

"Have a good time!" He says loudly from behind her.

At least he didn't ask her if she was chaste this time. Which was truly a disgusting thing to ask someone. If she said no, he would have probably thrown himself at her that very moment. At least he's been less creepy since, but his interest in her hadn't. When she looks up as she walks away, she sees Beca. Who had most likely just seen the exchange.

Chloe dips her head slightly and keeps walking right by the brunette. She did _not_ want that confrontation. It was hard enough dealing with her feelings for Beca. Now she feels gross about Beca's father, which is just adding to her list of things she needs to avoid.

* * *

When Chloe gets back to the room, Stacie was sitting in there alone and looks up at her, watching as she moves across the room to drop her books on the desk. When Chloe looks back at the tall brunette, there's only a nervous and awkward demeanor about Stacie. "Okay. I think… maybe we should talk about… Bree"

Stacie's nerves heighten in the expression and Chloe exhales loudly before moving to her bed and sitting and looking across the room at Stacie.

"I know you're doing your best to...make things okay again. And I just...wanted to say that it's good" Chloe feels a _tiny_ bit better when Stacie's breath of relief escapes. "Aubrey's really happy with you, and I know that you love her. So… you don't have to be awkward with me anymore, I'm not… I won't tell her. As much as I want to, because keeping secrets from her is just…"

"I know. I totally get it. It's… the worst feeling in the world" Stacie looks off to the side and Chloe nods, even though the brunette isn't looking. "I really wish I could go back in time and just… punch myself for even…"

"Why did you.."

"I don't know. I really… don't know. There was just…. pain every time. And I couldn't control it" Stacie's tears well up, and Chloe can see the watering eyes from across the room. "I almost lost her and it fucking kills me because I was so fucking stupid"

Chloe looks down at her lap. Now she's letting herself think about Beca again and she needs to _avoid_ that. "I don't understand how you say you love her and sleep with someone else"

"It's just… I don't know. I've never been in a monogamous relationship before, and my feelings for Aubrey were _really_ scary strong. I guess I just couldn't believe that it was real and fell back into my old ways"

"It's that easy to fall back into your old way?" Chloe looks up at Stacie wiping the tears away

"Yeah, it's… it's really easy. Obviously."

Chloe nods slowly and turns her head when the door opens and Aubrey walks in

"Oh my god. Class was so _long_." As soon as Aubrey was in the room and Stacie's tears became clearer to the blonde, Aubrey stops and looks over at Chloe for an answer

"We were talking about sad animal videos on YouTube" This would have been less believable had Chloe not looked totally sad as well.

"God. Choose something else to talk about next time I walk into a room. Maybe stick to the funny animal videos" Aubrey huffs a laugh and moves over to kiss Stacie before going to the desk and organizing the books into alphabetical order. Which is Aubrey's thing.

Stacie and Chloe share smiles and then Chloe exhales softly. She did feel better about Stacie now. Maybe she was about 95% sure Stacie was trustworthy again.

* * *

Chloe was almost back at the dorm with Stacie and Aubrey when her phone buzzed with a text noise. And then another after a moment. And by the time she looked at her phone, there were four of them. And they were all from Jesse.

 _'I need your help'_

 _'ASAP'_

 _'If you can. It's pretty urgent, and I know it's wrong to ask you'_

 _'But you're the only one who can calm her down'_

Chloe stops walking completely, getting the attention of the two girls. And then another text comes in

 _'If you don't come, I understand, I just don't know what else to do here, she won't listen to me'_

"What's wrong? Chloe?" Aubrey asks, and when she looks up, she just shakes her head and starts walking again, which turns into a run after a few paces.

When she makes it to Beca's dorm, Jesse's standing outside and sighs with relief when he sees her.

"Oh dude, I'm so glad you came. I don't know what's going on with her, but something happened and I need you to check her back for me. She flinched when I touched it and then freaked the hell out on me" Jesse was almost frantic as he spoke and Chloe looks over at the door before moving forward and walking into the room.

After she closed the door and looked into the room, Beca was standing at the desk, the laptop on the other side of it was turned up onto its back and Beca's hands were pressed against the top of the desk as the brunette's head hangs forward. Chloe could hear the deep breaths from Beca from across the room. After a moment, she steps forward and freezes when Beca turns to the wall and punches it hard.

"Beca. Beca, stop!" Chloe says louder after two more punches hit the wall with louder thumps. The brunette turns to her in surprise that she's even in the room.

"What are you doing here?" Beca's hands were shaking as Chloe walks across the room. She wasn't worried about Beca directing the violence towards her when Beca's face changed from surprise to sadness and turned away from her stare.

"Beca, I need you to calm down, okay?" Chloe reaches the brunette and Beca still can't look at her. She starts to move around Beca and feels a hand against her stomach.

"Don't"

Chloe stares at Beca's face, it wasn't just sadness anymore, it was shame as well. "Please let me look"

Beca's eyes start filling with water just before the brunette's head turns the other way from her, hiding from her. Then the hand drops from her stomach and she moves again, to stand behind Beca and reach for the bottom of the shirt slowly.

As soon as she started lifting the material, she feels Beca's muscles tensing up. And then the red marks come into view. A _lot_ of red marks. The higher she lifts the shirt, the more marks there are, they were stretching almost right across Beca's back and five of the welts were bleeding. Chloe has to hold her breath to stop herself from reacting and causing Beca to stop her from helping. She swallows hard and moves her hands around to the sides of the shirt "Take this off, Beca"

Beca's arms move up slowly, and Chloe reaches up to take the shirt off and drop it onto the floor. On closer inspection, there were around twenty welt marks across Beca's back, from the lower back all the way to the shoulder blades.

Chloe's hand moves to Beca's side gently "Lay down on your stomach for me?" A few silent moments pass before Beca's head hangs slightly while the brunette moves to the bed and lays down. And now Chloe felt the tears rolling down her cheeks as she walks across the room to find the first AID kit in the closet. She wipes her tears away as she moves across the room to the silent brunette on the bed.

Seeing Beca after what was quite clearly her father's abuse was killing her. She should have been there to stop Beca somehow. Chloe lifts open the first AID kit and takes out the antibacterial wash. "I'll be back in a minute, okay? I just need to wet a towel" Chloe says, getting no reaction at all from Beca. Chloe looks down for a moment before turning to walk out and find Jesse.

"What happened? Is she okay?" Jesse pushes off the wall next to Beca's door after she closes it.

"She's.. I don't know" Chloe's hand moves up to her mouth to stop the sob from escaping and then sniffs as she moves her hand to wipe at her cheeks and nods "I need to get some water and a towel" She says as she moves away quickly. Now is _not_ the time to have a breakdown.

She manages to find a small container in the cleaner's closet and a roll of paper towels then she moves into the bathroom to wash out the container before filling it with warm water and walking back to the room.

"How bad is it?" Jesse asks quietly when she returns.

Chloe manages to stay calm this time, probably because she's holding so many things. "It's not horrible bad, but it isn't good. I don't… know what happened to her"

"I'll be out here" Jesse says as he turns the handle for her and opens the door. Chloe nods softly and enters the room, Beca's still on the bed and didn't move at all. Chloe slumps, defeated by the sight before moving forward and hearing the door clicking shut when Jesse closes it again.

"I'm just going to wash the cuts, okay?" Chloe says as she puts the container of water on the desk at the end of the bed. There was no reaction still, but she could see the side of Beca's face, and that eye was open, so Beca was aware. Or at least kind of. Chloe rips off a few towels from the roll and dips it in the soaped water before leaning down closer to Beca "I'll try to be gentle, but it might hurt" Chloe dabs the least bad cut a few times, glancing up to see if there's any reaction, which there isn't. Chloe continues cleaning the blood off the first cut, unsure of whether she should even ask about this. Beca flinches as soon as she starts on the next cut "I'm sorry" she says quietly, glancing back up at the brunette before waiting.

"It's okay" Beca whispers, which was her first sign that Beca was still actually in there. Chloe presses against the cut again.

Chloe was taking her time cleaning off the blood, stopping every time Beca would flinch and waiting a moment before continuing. She never actually thought she would see anything like this, she knew that Beca's father was abusive, but _seeing_ it. That was something else completely. Chloe bites her lip when she gets to the last cut, it was the worst one, but it wasn't bleeding anymore, and it didn't need stitches or anything, it was just more open. "Beca, this one's.. it'll hurt more"

Beca shifts slightly while Chloe gets new towels and dips them. When she looks back, the brunette was holding onto the pillow tightly and waiting for her to start. With a deep inhale, Chloe starts dabbing at the cut, causing Beca to wince and make her stop. "Keep going" Beca says quietly, so she bites her lip and starts pressing the towel against the cut.

Every time Beca would flinch, it would cause a new level of pain in her heart, and it wasn't surprising to her when a tear falls and lands on Beca's back, thankfully not on a cut. She wipes it off with her hand and reaches up to her cheek before leaning back slightly in case it happens again. When she ends the cleaning process, she picks up the bloodied paper towels and throws them in the trash. "I just need to put the anti-bacterial stuff on and then I'm done, okay?"

"Yeah" Beca was so far gone at this point, Chloe wondered if she was ever going to be back to normal Beca, not that she really knows what Normal Beca means. She had flashes of Beca's real personality, hours of them. Only to lose all of it again when Beca would flip on her. But this isn't exactly the time to think about that.

Chloe twists the lid off the antibacterial liquid and moves to the desk drawer to take out the box of tissues, seeing a piece of paper screaming FAGGOT at her. Which must be the new one from Beca's step-mother. She pulls out a few tissues and tips some of the liquid onto them as she moves back to Beca and starts pressing it onto the cuts. "I see your step-mother sent you a new picture"

"Yeah. Birthday gift" Beca was still quiet, but at least the brunette wasn't stuck in her mind replaying whatever happened over and over again. Beca was here and talking and that was the main thing. She hopes.

"Do you think she knows that word doesn't really count for you?" Chloe's attempt at a light hearted conversation goes well, Beca huffs against the pillow and smiles slightly, at least it looked like it from Chloe's angle.

"I don't think she cares. She probably thinks all gay people get sodomized" Beca was talking now, and already makes Chloe feel a little better.

"She's right though, you do" Now Chloe knows she saw Beca's smile, until she presses against that large cut again and the brunette flinches "Sorry. Sorry, I should have warned you"

"It's fine just… keep going"

"I'm almost finished, I promise" Chloe tries to move quicker and not push too hard against the cut, then she stands up straight and looks down at Beca's back. which was a stupid idea because now she wants to cry again. Her eyes turn up to the wall so she can try and focus on _not_ crying.

"Are you finished?" She hears Beca asking, making her reach up quickly and wipe her eyes.

"Yeah" Chloe says, turning around to throw the tissues into the trash and walk to the desk to put the cap back on the bottle. As long as she keeps her hands busy, she won't cry.

"I can do that. You don't...have to stay" Beca says while getting up from the bed and moving closer to her.

"I know I don't _have_ to stay. I want to stay" Chloe shoves the bottle into the first AID kit and tries to close the lid, which won't go down all the way no matter how she turns the bottle around. And this pushes her off the edge of sanity and makes her burst into the tears that she's been holding onto.

A few moments pass before she feels Beca's hands turning her around and then wrap around her. And the worst part is that she can't hug Beca back, not without pressing against the marks.

"I'm sorry.. " She says as she moves back from the hug and wipes the tears from Beca's shoulder. And it wasn't until this moment that she realized Beca's left standing in a bra. Chloe looks over at the closet and wipes her eyes as she moves across the room to find a shirt for Beca. One that was loose enough and not flannel.

Beca takes it when she returns, it was a black, light button-up shirt. "Thanks" Beca says as she moves it around to pull it on over her arms. Chloe moves forward to start doing the buttons up from the bottom, and halfway up, she realized it was an intimate move that shouldn't have been happening, but she kept going until she got a few buttons from the top, leaving them undone and then standing there in silence.

The tears were hard to fight off again, and it'll probably hit her every few minutes just because it was horrible to see Beca like that.

"You really don't have to stay. I get that you feel sorry for me, or whatever, but-"

"You think I'm staying because I feel sorry for you?"

Beca's eyes falter and move away from her, then a slight shrug comes from the brunette's shoulders. "Maybe it's just my insecurity talking" Beca says quietly. Which was a little surprising to Chloe, that was an _honest_ thing to say.

"It is. I'm staying...because I care about you" Chloe reaches up too late, Beca nods at her and moves away to the bed and sitting. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but anything else would mean Beca might think this was leading to something else.

"Thanks for coming. But I think it's probably best if you go" Beca wasn't looking up at her again, so she moves closer and sits next to the brunette.

"I'll go when I know you're okay" Chloe turns her head to look at the brunette, who still refuses to look away from the spot on the floor.

"I'll be fine. I just need time alone" Chloe nods and finally gives into Beca's request to be alone, she pats the brunette's knee before she stands up and starts moving towards the door. "Chloe" Beca waits for her eye contact before finishing "Thank you, really. It means a lot that...you.."

"You're welcome. I'd always help you Beca" Chloe smiles slightly until Beca's eyes move down again.

"Don't leave"

Chloe swallows and starts approaching Beca again slowly. "I just...need to be clear that this isn't.."

"I know. It's just… a friend helping a friend not to go crazy and start.." Beca makes a fist and shakes it slowly.

"I wish you wouldn't do that" Chloe moves back to sit on the bed and takes Beca's hand to inspect the bruising. The skin hadn't split, but Beca could still use some ice on it.

"I did" Beca was quiet again and Chloe looks up to find Beca's eyes staring back at her. "My therapy has been… or _had_ been working working well… I guess it doesn't count in extreme circumstances. Not that this was that extreme"

"Not that extreme? Are you serious?" Chloe turns away with a long inhale "I don't know if you're aware, Beca. But you have huge marks on your back right now from _something_. It looks like were used as some kind of cutting board" Chloe stands up from the bed and moves over to the other side of the room and cover her face with her hands.

"It was just a belt" Beca's voice makes it sound like this was no big deal. No big deal that she was just _whipped with a belt_. Chloe feels like she could vomit at any second.

Her hands drop from her face as she turns around to look into Beca's eyes. "Do you really think of this as _just_ a thing that happens?"

"It is just a thing that happens. To me, it does. I knew what was going to happen when I talked back and then to make matters even better, I took the Lord's name in vain" Chloe has to look away while Beca talks, just so she doesn't end up either crying or lashing out in frustration. "I'm sorry that it...makes you disappointed in me or whatever. But it happens"

"It scares me that you can be so...nonchalant about this" Chloe looks out the window as she talks, so she doesn't look over at Beca and break down again.

"I'm not nonchalant… I just.. what else can I say about it? It sucks, I deser-"

Chloe turns before Beca gets to finish "Do not. Don't you dare say that you deserve this" she can feel the tears stinging already when she stares at Beca. "How can you say something like that? What did he say to you? Because I can guarantee that it's all bullshit" She sucks in a breath and wipes at her cheeks, getting rid of the falling tears.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Beca wasn't even showing emotion, and maybe that's what scared her the most. She knows Beca isn't fine behind that exterior, but breaking through that is impossible.

"Why did he do it?" Chloe asks, sighing softly when Beca turns to look away from her. "Please, Beca. Just talk to me"

"The usual stuff. I'm a sinner, I killed my mother, I should know better than to take the Lord's name in vain" Beca shrugs and looks down before standing up.

"What?" Chloe watches as Beca look over and raise her eyebrows "He did all this because you took the Lord's name in vain?"

"Like it's shocking? Who cares anyway, it happened and there's nothing I can do about it now"

Chloe looks away from the brunette at the wall to take a deep breath and release it again. Beca was going to fall back into that old pattern, she can just see it now. "Please Beca… don't let him push you backwards"

"I learned my lesson, Chloe. I'm not going to be like him" Chloe's eyes return to Beca, and it takes a few moments for the brunette's eyes to move from the wall back to her. "I wasn't lying to you when I said you leaving made me realize how truly fucked up I was" Beca's eyes start to look sad, and it was almost comforting to see an emotion coming through. "I just… wish there was at least a tiny chance that you'd even forgive me"

"I'm trying, Bec. It just takes time to.. get there" Chloe wants to move across the room and hug Beca, but she won't let herself. She can't fall back into a trap, not when Beca just spent the night in erratic moods.

"Yeah, I know. So does the whole getting better thing. I'm not asking for it right now. It was just… just a wish" Beca shrugs and stares over at her as if there's no more to say.

Chloe nods slowly and looks over at the door "I should tell Jesse to go. He's probably still waiting out there"

"It's cool. You can go"

"Beca"

"No. Really. I'm fine" Beca's expression was telling her that it really _was_ okay to leave, but she doesn't know whether she should believe that or not.

After a few moments of hesitation, she nods slightly and starts moving towards the door, being followed out by Beca.

"Hey. What's happening? Are you okay?" Jesse says, looking from Chloe back to Beca, who nods at him with a smile.

"All good. Just had some shit to clear up. You can go. Both of you. I'm really fine" Beca says before raising her eyebrows and moving back to shut the door before they can say anything.

"She's...not good" Jesse says, turning to look at Chloe.

"I know, but she doesn't want me in there" Chloe feels the tears welling up again before she moves around Jesse to start walking away.

"I don't believe that" He says, but she can't stop now. She can't go back in there, as much as she wants to.


	15. Chapter 15

Beca could have told Chloe the truth about what happened, but then she'd just be making the redhead stay out of some kind of guilt. And now Beca's standing alone in her room and hating herself just a little bit more with every passing minute. As soon as she saw her father talking to Chloe, she was done with his shit. Only he wasn't quite done with it.

Looking back over the night, she could have handled it with less anger, and she did get her point across when she punched him after his punishment for calling him out for being a womanizing asshole. And she'd do it all over again if it meant Chloe was okay. Time will only tell if he stays away from Chloe, and if he doesn't, she'll have to do it again. And again.

And maybe Chloe will be here to pick up the pieces again.

Her gaze moves to the bed where Chloe was just leaning over her, helping her. And she turns to look at the door. She should never have told Chloe to leave. Or maybe she should have. Chloe was too good for this. Too good for _her_.

Instead of walking out and finding her way back to the redhead, she looks back at the bed and crawls onto it. As she lays there, closing her eyes to try and focus on relaxing her sadness, she thinks about Chloe when they were actually happy together. When she wasn't worried about being such a dick, things just flowed comfortably.

* * *

Beca wakes up early, her sleeping pattern has been all kinds of messed up after Chloe. Her shower was difficult to get through with the pain on her back, she had to almost have a cold shower because the heat against the split skin was burning into her. And causing pain to herself was something she had started avoiding. Except for her anger, that was still annoyingly there.

Beca avoided answering the thousand texts from Jesse in the morning as she walked off campus to the church. Right into the confessional.

Beca makes the Sign of the Cross after she hears Pastor Jenson's voice welcoming her. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been...two days since my last confession. My sins include lying, violence and shaming myself"

"What was the reason for your violence, my child?"

Beca stares down at her hands against her thighs and inhales deeply to find it in herself to open up, even though she knows the Pastor is a good guy. "I, um.. I saw a man.. my father. He was making someone uncomfortable and I confronted him, which ended in my punishment that I refused. I hit him because I was stubborn to learning"

"It sounds to me like his punishment was misguided"

"I just caught him off guard, I think. He didn't know I saw him with her"

"And to whom did you lie?"

"The girl. She's… the one that I.."

"The one from your previous confessions, yes. And your shame has come from your father's punishment?"

"Yeah"

"God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of His Son, has reconciled the world to Himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the church, may God give you pardon and peace. I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit"

"Amen" Beca says quietly, closing her eyes for a moment.

"God has forgiven your sins, go in peace"

"Hail Mary, full of Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Jesus, Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of death. Amen." Beca stands up and walks out of the booth. Then makes her way over to the pews and sits down, leaning forward to rest her hands over her face with a sigh.

She did feel a bit better after her confession. It was just nice to be forgiven, or just to hear those words. If only it was the right person saying it to her. But she'll never hear that from Chloe. Not when she was scraping the bottom of the barrel already for excuses to keep Chloe in her life as it is.

Beca leans forward and holds the back of the pew in front of her to rest her forehead on her arms in a silent prayer. She doesn't even know when she became so reliant on this. God has done her _no_ favours. He gave Chloe to her and ripped them apart again. But then God can't really be blamed for her mistakes.

"Beca" She sits up again and lets her hands drop from the pew to look up at Pastor Jenson. "How are you feeling?" He says as he sits down next to her.

"Like I've had a hundred buildings dropped onto me" Beca says as she turns to look up at the podium "I just feel like I can't do anything right anymore"

"Why do you think that?"

"Chloe was helping me last night...after I got back to my room from my father's place and I just… I dunno, I get so weird around her, like I have no control over myself. So I told her to leave and… now my heart hurts all over again like we just broke up"

"So what was different about the times she has calmed you down around others?"

"I dunno… it wasn't directed at her, I guess" Beca leans forward again, grabbing the back of the pew. "I don't want to treat her like that. I never did, but I just… lose myself so easily when she's near me"

"I think what's happening here is that you're a little _too_ focused on control. You won't let yourself become comfortable around her, you react to the smallest things because you feel as though you don't deserve to have her and you need any excuse to push her away and not confront your true feelings for her"

"And how do I stop that?"

"By realizing that you're worthy of her love, you _can_ control yourself. And you have been, over the last weeks, have you not?"

"Yeah, I have but… it's still there when I see her"

"But have you acted out in a terrible way?"

"Not yet"

"No, you haven't. Because you know you can do better" The Pastor pats is hand against the back of Beca's hand a few times and stands up. "Now go find her and apologize for making her leave, you may be surprised in her reaction"

"Or I may not be" Beca says as she sighs and stands up.

"That isn't positive thinking"

Beca huffs slightly and smiles. "Yeah, okay. She's going to ask me to go get ice cream and we'll live happily ever after"

"Now you're mocking me in the eyes of the Lord" Pastor Jenson says with a smile, then he waves his hand to point up at the door "Go on. I'll see you at Group tonight, you can tell me what she said"

"Thanks" Beca says before taking his direction and walking out.

* * *

Standing outside Chloe's dorm was more daunting than standing outside of her Father's house every time they had dinner. Her hands were shoved into her pockets as she goes over her apology speech in her mind, but every time she thinks she can knock, her hands stay buried inside the pockets.

She knew her emotions were lost easily around Chloe, her chest fills with a tornado and throws them all around until one sticks just long enough for her to say something fucked up to the redhead and make them part ways. So this meeting was basically pointless, she was going to mess it up somehow anyway.

Beca spins around quickly and steps forward, bumping into a body and stepping back again to find Chloe's eyes staring back at her. "Sorry. I was just… I um. I was just leaving"

"But you haven't...really told me why you're here yet" Chloe says, smiling softly and causing Beca's eyes to drop to the floor between them and swallow hard.

"I'm sorry for last night, making you leave and just...being stupid"

"Look at me" Chloe's voice was oddly stern and Beca looks up, with her tongue to the side between her teeth to keep her quiet. "You don't have to apologize for that, okay? You were in a place that.. I understand why you were all over the place. I'm glad to see you're out and about though"

"Yeah, I went to church for a bit and figured some shit out, or tried to" Beca's heart was beating rapidly in her chest as soon as she made eye contact with the redhead, and Chloe's smile always had the same effect on her, filling her with a light. "I really am thankful you know, for last night"

"Really, Becs. It's fine. I'm happy you let me" Chloe moves around her to get to the door "Do you wanna come inside and talk?"

"I''m… yeah. Okay." Beca _was_ surprised at Chloe's reaction to her. And she would have rejected the invitation had she not talked to the Pastor. Maybe she really did feel nuts last night because of her Father. Beca walks in after Chloe and looks around the room. She can't remember a time when she was ever in this room, was she? Her eyes scan the room, finding every piece of personality in the decor. Even down to the purple quilt cover on Chloe's bed.

"So can I ask how you are and get an honest answer?" Chloe says while taking stuffed toys off the bed and dropping them onto the floor at the end of the bed.

"Up and down, I guess. I mean it's really… it depends on how much I hate myself that day" Chloe turns to her after the confession and looks slightly disappointed in her for it. "But.. I mean I haven't really… done anything… in reaction to it" Beca turns her head away to look over at the closet, which was open and displaying a variety of colours.

"I'm happy to hear that it isn't out of an emotional reaction but… you know you can.. see who you want to, right?" Chloe's words felt more like machetes being swiped at her heart. Beca nods in response when she turns back to the redhead.

"I haven't felt the need yet. It's probably best I don't rush into things again"

"Do you think we rushed?" Chloe's eyes narrow slightly in an almost annoyed curiosity. And now Beca knows she's already said something stupid.

Beca looks down and closes her eyes for a moment, exhaling softly and opening her eyes to the floor. "I should have prepared myself better. I fell in love with you so fast that I lost all control and match that with my self esteem issues and we have a combination for the worst relationship ever. I know it was my fault, Chloe. I remind myself of that every second of the day"

"You don't need to do that. It wasn't completely your fault. I told you that I was okay with you sleeping with other people"

"But not her"

"No… but.. that should still count. It was just sex. And I was wrong for putting so much pressure on you to be different. I tried to get you to change and you were trying, but… it was a lot for you"

"No. What? How is this your fault? You wanted me to stop turning into an asshole, I was treating you like shit"

Chloe sighs loudly and moves closer, pressing their bodies together and whispering into her ear "I'm too scared to hug you Bec, I need you to hold me"

Beca was hesitant at first, and raises her arms to wrap them around Chloe's lower back. "You can hug me, Chloe. I'm not going to die"

"I'm not going to hurt you" Chloe's sniff indicates that the redhead was crying on her shoulder. And now she feels horrible again. "I want to forgive you so bad, Beca" Chloe says, straining between sobs and forcing Beca's arms to tighten.

"We have plenty of time" She whispers to the redhead and closing her eyes. Listening to Chloe crying was some form of torture.

"The embrace lasted until Chloe fell silent and just stayed against her, breathing slowly until the door opened and laughter filled the room, pulling them both away from each other to find Aubrey frozen at the door.

"I'm gonna have to call you back, babe" Aubrey says, hanging up the phone and staring at them as if they were caught murdering an elephant. "Are you guys… back together?"

"No" Chloe says quickly, Beca looks over at the redhead wiping her eyes and moving away slightly "We were just talking, Bree"

"Sorry, you guys just looked.. anyway. So I just finished class and _guess_ what I saw" Aubrey says, completely turning off the awkward tension as if it was never there.

"Um… Bette Midler" Chloe says, which makes Beca's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Nope! Better"

" _Better_ than Bette? Now I'm stumped"

Aubrey moves over to the bed and pulls out a piece of paper, unfolding it quickly and shoving it up into the air in front of Chloe. It was just a promotional poster for a dog show.

Beca wouldn't have thought anything of it if Chloe didn't start jumping and yelling at Aubrey like they just won the lottery. And she thought _her_ moods were crazy. At least Chloe was smiling and jumping, even though they were both squealing now.

"Beca! Look!" Chloe rips the poster out of Aubrey's hand and holds it out to her, which she takes and looks down at closer. It was seriously _just_ a dog show.

"Okay… am I missing something?" Wrong thing to ask, both of the girls just looked offended now. "I mean, yay?"

" _This_ is the best thing ever. Don't you like puppies? What's wrong with you?" Aubrey grabs the poster back and starts prancing across the room to the desk.

"A lot, apparently" Beca says quietly, Chloe's face drops slightly. "But dogs are cute" She says with a shrug, trying to bring back the smile. Which isn't quite working yet. "I never got to have a dog, so I'm a little obsessed with them"

"I had a poodle" Aubrey says from behind her, when she turns around, the blonde is sticky taping the poster up on the wall.

"I had a lab. Our dogs were best friends" Chloe says, and when Beca's eyes find the redhead's smile again, she almost melted into relief. "Just like me and Bree"

"Jesse had this little shitzu thing that was the most annoying thing in the world" Beca was trying. Pushing herself into the conversation and forcing herself to speak wasn't exactly easy when the things she says aren't interesting.

"Aww, I love shitzus." Chloe says, the smile was growing wider and Beca was actually dying now. It's been too long since she's seen the redhead truly smile.

"It barked a lot"

Aubrey snorts from behind her and says "So does Chloe"

Beca had no idea if Aubrey was looking at them, she was too tied up in Chloe's eyes looking back at her. And eventually she started thinking that Chloe was also feeling the moment.

The redhead turns away from it though, reminding her of where they're at. "You should come to the show with us" Chloe says softly, pulling her right back into the hope.

"When is it?" Beca was surprised her brain let her speak, she felt like she should be paralyzed or something.

"Saturday and Sunday" Aubrey says from behind her, then noises came from behind her, making her turn around to see the blonde pulling out drawers and shuffling through things then moving to the next one.

"Okay… I guess that's cool with me"

"Yes!" Chloe says loudly, _right_ behind her. "Sorry" the redhead says, touching her shoulder and then moving away quickly "And again. Sorry"

Beca smiles slightly and turns to look back again. "It's fine. That wasn't… there's nothing at that… I should really" Beca points at the door and starts moving toward it, quickly. She was out of there before Chloe could say anything, and she isn't exactly sure _what_ told her to run, but she just needed to escape.

* * *

She has felt this before, where it feels like you're suffocating, like there's a fog shoved into your throat that makes it impossible to breathe. She couldn't even tell where she was, other than a corridor.

Her butt hit the floor against the wall as soon as the attack hit her, she just needs to get control of her breathing so she can calm down. Her chest was hurting with each small burst of air moving in, and the pain against her back wasn't helping at all. Her sweaty hands were pushing against her crossed legs in attempt to stop her shaking.

"Bec, Beca look at me" the voice sounded too far away from her to even hear who it was, until her face was raised to look up, and she recognizes Chloe right away, but her attack didn't stop, not until she heard a quiet 'sorry' followed by a slap. Her first breath after being slapped was clearer, and then it came back to her. Letting the fog inside of her throat fade away until she could relax and nod at the redhead. "I told you to not do that to me again" Chloe says, pulling at her shoulders gently "Get off the wall, your back"

Beca leans forward slightly and reaches back to the wall to start pushing herself up to her feet. Chloe stands up in front of her and holds out a hand, which Beca shakes her head at. "I can't keep… I can't keep making you help like this, it isn't fair"

"It's lucky you don't get a choice in the matter" Chloe says as the hand moves forward, grabbing onto Beca's. "We're friends, Bec. I'm going to help you whether you like it or not" Beca's conflicted feelings about the friends thing was yanked out of her mind when Chloe started pulling on her arm and leading her down the corridor.

* * *

They were in the room for less than 10 seconds before Chloe shoved her around and started pulling up her shirt to make sure none of the cuts were reopened, and with her arms hanging forward with the sleeves risen up, she felt pathetic. Being gawked at and then reprimanded for moving made her feel like a four year old. And she knew Chloe was just being caring, but it was embarrassing. She didn't _want_ Chloe looking at her. She wanted all of this to be a huge secret so she didn't have to confront how bad it really was.

The shirt comes down after a few moments and Chloe speaks softly "You're still good, but I might put more of that antibacterial stuff on"

Beca closes her eyes as she inhales, to keep herself focused on controlling her emotions. "I don't want that"

"Can I ask why?" Chloe's voice rings in her ears, and she could feel herself cracking open, but she doesn't know which way it'll go, really. She never does.

Her eyes open slowly and make their way to look at the desk where the black cross necklace was hanging off her laptop, which was thankfully not broken after she threw it backwards when she got back from her father's place. It was there to remind her of the things she really cares for. To stop her from being destructive against things she loves as punishment against herself. "It's embarrassing" she says quietly.

Chloe's hand moves to hers and their fingers intertwine in a really confusing maneuver that leaves her wanting to pull away and also tighten her grip. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about"

"I lied to you last night" Beca says, staring at the cross as if it was a teleprompter, giving her the words she really _needed_. "I saw you talking to him and.. I just.. I let my anger go"

"What does that mean?"

"It means… I saw him touch your shoulder and I went to his house and called him a womanizing asshole" Beca pulls her hand away and moves across the room to get further from Chloe so she can turn around and look into the stunned blue eyes staring back at her "It wasn't.. possession that made me do it, I just… you looked uncomfortable and it seriously… it got to me. So… I went over there and he decided that was something that needed a reaction. And then I punched him" Beca looked down at the floor before she finished, so she could miss Chloe's disappointment in her.

"You punched your father?" Chloe asks quietly, getting a nod from Beca. "Good." Chloe's switching tone makes her look up and find the redhead looking slightly pissed. "He's…. he deserved so much worse than that for what he did to you. I wish I could just…." Chloe huffs and turns away from her. "I'm sorry. I know that he's your father"

"It's okay. Say it, at this point I need the back up"

"I want to hit him in the face with a fucking...axe or something" Chloe blurts out and then sighs. Beca stares for a few moments before quietly laughing, which makes Chloe's expression turn to confusion and then an annoyed smile "I'm serious, Beca." Chloe has to turn away to bite back the smile forming "Stop laughing!"

Beca tries her best to fight the laughter, but she was failing at hiding the grin "Sorry. It's just…. thinking about you taking an axe to _anything_ is hilarious"

"I'll take an axe to you if you don't stop laughing at me" Chloe's eyes narrow and send a glare over to Beca, which only makes her huff with another laugh and suck it back. Chloe smiles again and sighs. "I just wanted to get my frustration out and you laughed at me"

"I know, I know. You're just… really not that threatening" Beca grimaces through her smile when Chloe's head retracts in offense.

"I'm not _threatening_? I am _totally_ threatening"

"Yeah. You're right, you are" Beca clears her throat and looks down at the desk and just generally anywhere except Chloe.

"Oh I am _so_ gonna kick your ass when your back is better" Chloe's arms cross in some kind of attempt at looking intimidating and Beca's smirk makes Chloe's head shake slowly

"I think it's feeling better, actually. How strange is that?"

Chloe smiles slightly and turns to look away, wiping the playful behaviour out of both of them. "I should probably head back. I told Bree I'd only be a minute" Chloe says with a shrug.

"Okay. So I guess… I'll see you Saturday?"

"Yes! I almost forgot" Chloe smiles widely and spins around to walk to towards the door, giving her a look back and smiling softer "I'm happy you're okay again"

Beca nods at her gently and then Chloe's gone. And she's alone again. "Stupid."


	16. Chapter 16

Chloe was about one second away from sinking _through_ the car seat. And she kind of wanted to. Every time she'd glance over at Beca, she'd get that horrible feeling like she lead the brunette on and that she was a terrible person. They hadn't talked at all since she left Beca's dorm a few days ago. It scared her that Beca would put herself in harm's way just to defend her, but it was something she'd do for Beca as well.

Beca's own _father_ though. That's a big deal, Beca stuck around even through his abuse, and as soon as he made Chloe uncomfortable, Beca went for him. In a way, she's ruined a father/daughter relationship, but she was kind of okay with that in a fucked up way because he was the worst person for Beca. She's never hated someone so much, after seeing what he did to Beca, she really wished him the worst.

It was good that Beca actually showed up though, it was nice to see her. And she did smile at the brunette across the back seat after they got into the car. But now she's actively avoiding looking anywhere over there because she made herself paranoid.

Eventually her brain caught up to her urges though, as they were entering the event grounds, she looked over and watched Beca staring out the window. Her hand moves up to her chest and tugs on the chain until the ring was between her fingers. Each passing moment was a kick to the heart, a reminder that Beca was sitting so far away for a reason. Chloe turns back to her window and tucks the ring back underneath her dress. Chloe hears a wince from the brunette when they hit a speed bump, and she looks over again, reaching out to Beca's forearm "Are you okay?"

Beca looks back with a nod and leans forward slightly. "Just rubbed a bit"

Chloe's hand slips down, rubbing Beca's forearm until it hits the brunette's hand and stays sitting on the back of it. A movement that was noticed by Beca and sent both of their eyes down to their meeting hands. Chloe pulls away as soon as the car comes to a stop and unbuckles the seatbelt so she can get out of the car quickly.

This would have been more suspicious had Aubrey not done the same thing in excitement. There were people with dogs in the parking area, and the two girls who were left in the car were slow at getting out, which makes Chloe slightly paranoid that they looked at each other, or had any kind of conversation. Even though they were only in the car for a second or two.

She didn't like having mistrust in people. She hated feeling like someone was going to let her down. And she really did want to trust Beca again, even though she'll likely never _completely_ trust the girl.

Aubrey pretty much clinged to Stacie's side as they walked ahead, or Aubrey pulled Stacie along with her and pointed at every dog around with a shriek or a squeal. This was usually something they did, just the two of them. This is the first time they've had ...people with them.

Chloe had plenty of outings with Beca that got her used to staying at a distance, but for some reason, this felt exactly the same as it did before. All she wanted to do was be closer, and maybe that's because the couple in front of them looked so happy. She was just jealous of their happiness.

The show had an outdoor area with stalls of various pet things and dog adoption stalls. So naturally they aim right for the ones _with_ the dogs. Chloe smiles when Aubrey picks up the first puppy seen, and Stacie was petting at it. But when Chloe went to smile at Beca, the brunette was gone. Chloe turns around, scanning the area and settling on Beca, who was holding a puppy.

Chloe isn't one of those types of girls whose ovaries explode when they see some certain thing like someone being adorable with a baby, or having the most romantic surprise thrust upon them.

At least she really didn't think she was.

But as soon as she saw Beca holding onto a Corgi puppy, her body just completely forgot how it's supposed to act around the brunette. And that was troubling in so many ways, because she wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. Or at least she wasn't supposed to be so obvious about it.

But here she was, staring at Beca like she just found a unicorn. Beca was actually _talking_ to the puppy. It was just… completely different to see the brunette like this. Going from a confusing, angry butthole… to _that_.

"Take a picture, Chloe. It'll last longer" Chloe hears Aubrey say from behind her, causing her to huff out a laugh and turn around.

"I was just looking at the puppy" Chloe says, which was about as believable as saying she actually did find a Unicorn.

"Sure. And my name is Elton John" Aubrey says, picking up the puppy's paw that she was holding and waving it at her.

"Well you are totally gay" Chloe gets a snorted laugh from Stacie and a feigned offended look from Aubrey.

"Just go talk to her, assface" The blonde says while turning around to put the puppy back down in the pen.

Which gives Chloe enough time to glance at Stacie, who was smiling down at Aubrey. If Stacie hadn't been acting happy and into Aubrey before the cheating, she may have felt more secure in the moment, but they _were_ happy before. And Stacie still hadn't even acknowledged Beca, or the other way around. Which is also suspicious. Or maybe that's because Chloe would smack them both. This is just a lose/lose situation with her thoughts and it sucked.

Chloe turns around again and Beca's still playing with the puppy, only now the brunette was bouncing slightly and touching its nose. And now her ovaries _are_ exploding. This kind of Beca was everything she wanted Beca to be before, she should have just suggested a date to a dog breeder so she can watch the brunette baby one.

Beca's eyes find hers staring back and the tension was there, but it wasn't awkward like it should have been. Thanks to Chloe's stupid attraction meter going up, the tension was something it really shouldn't be. Chloe tore her eyes away from the brunette and started moving away from the couple who were having a really annoying cute banter thing happening.

Chloe just hated losing to her emotions, she had to stay in control of herself before she does something stupid. And Beca was just a stupid plan. The signs were still sort of hanging around Beca, blinking at her and telling her not to move too quickly, or even at all.

Chloe stops when she feels a hand on her arm, and when she turns around with her tortured expression, she finds Beca's eyes staring back at her with concern.

"Are you okay?" the brunette asks, forcing Chloe to turn her eyes away

"Yeah, I just forgot something in the car" Chloe's lie was as clear as day, and Beca's sinking expression made her feel like crying, which at this point was something she's sick of doing.

"I can leave, if it's too-"

"No. Don't. Please, I just… It isn't easy for me to see you sometimes. Especially when Stacie's here" Chloe looks down at the grass and kicks at it slowly.

"I didn't… we aren't talking, I'm not even looking at her. Just like you asked me to" When she looks up again, Beca's furrowed brow in confusion makes her guilt worse about all of this.

"I know, Beca. But you had... " She bites her tongue and turns her head to the side. "I can't just trust you like nothing ever happened"

"I know, but you're not exactly giving me a chance to prove that it'll never happen again, which it won't"

She could hear Beca's sadness, an almost beg for forgiveness again. This was supposed to be a day where she could be free of all of this, she told herself that this wouldn't happen and they'll have a worry-free day. "I know" is all she can say. And then she sees Beca moving away in the corner of her eye.

* * *

Chloe was glad that Beca didn't totally leave. Although she didn't see the brunette again for about an hour. She felt horrible when Beca walked away, and it was her own fault for getting emotional again. Beca had been trying, and that was obvious. It has been obvious over time.

Chloe had sat down outside the little adventure course area where the dog show part was being held, and Stacie left to go get popcorn. Chloe's eyes watched the tall brunette leaving until she felt a pressure against her arm, on the side Aubrey wasn't sitting. When she looked over, she saw Beca, who looked back with a small nod and then over at the course.

Chloe's breath caught in her throat when she set eyes on Beca, and she wants to talk, except nothing was happening. She could only stare, even when Beca looks at her again. She was frozen there in her thoughts that Beca's return meant that maybe the brunette really isn't giving up on trying just yet.

The staring contest lasted longer than the last one, and it was interrupted when Stacie returned with her announcement of having popcorn. Chloe wasn't frozen anymore, and looked away from Beca, almost reluctantly this time to look down at the popcorn that Aubrey was shoving against her. Chloe takes the box and holds it out to Beca, returning her stare to the dark blue eyes that always seem to get her heartbeat at a stupidly fast speed.

This would have been the moment she gave into her yearning had it not been for a voice blasting through speakers at the crowd. Chloe looks forward at the starting show and exhales softly. She was losing control of herself, the control that she had to keep. To keep herself safe from Beca, and Beca safe from herself...and her.

* * *

It took far too long for Chloe's nerves to settle, but they did somewhere near the end of the show, because even adorable dogs can't save her from turning her eyes to the side so she can watch Beca smiling at the dogs. Aubrey was the one who yanked her out of this weird torturous daze by grabbing her shoulder and pulling her into an awkward side hug, then whispering "You're being really obvious"

Chloe _had_ to handle herself after that. She isn't the type to lead someone on if she's unsure about something, and she's completely unsure about Beca. Unless Beca was holding a puppy, anyway. _That_ would make anyone want her.

And this is the point Chloe turns to look at Stacie. Maybe Stacie still wanted Beca, she'd never even know if they were a thing again, or _still_ a thing. Cheaters lie. Beca lies. But then again, so does she, to her best friend.

Chloe's eyebrows furrow at her painful thought process and stands up to move away from the girls and just find a quiet place to somehow make her stop thinking, because she will _not_ be crying again. That's totally another lie.

Chloe sits on the grassy area with her legs flat out in front of her, because she isn't about to flash everyone that walks by. She leans back on her arms and sighs at the deserted area in front of her, and then all of her thoughts rush back into her.

A short while after her constant stream of contradicting feelings were attacking her, Aubrey sat down next to her and leaned against her. Which makes her eyes move up to scan the area for the two girls that Aubrey left _together_.

"You okay? I thought you two were trying to be… at least talking" Aubrey says, and Chloe can't find the girls anywhere in the area.

"I'm fine, Bree. Where's Stacie?" Chloe may have been a little too obvious, Aubrey's eyebrow raises in question at her. "I just… I didn't want to ask where Beca was.. I don't want to be obvious, remember?"

Aubrey turns away to look ahead in the distance, becoming slightly steely in demeanor "They're not going to have sex again, Chloe" her silence says it all, even though her mouth opens a few times to talk, to try and say _anything_ at all. "She told me, not about Beca. I kind of put that together, but… she told me she slept with someone on more than one occasion and I am...oddly okay with it"

"Aubrey.. I wanted to tell you, I really-"

"I know, Chloe. I know why you didn't tell me" Aubrey turns back to her and sits up straight to take Chloe's hand. "The more I think about it…. if I was in your shoes and saw you happy with her, I don't think I'd be able to cause you that pain either" Chloe turns her head away to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. "It's kind of a relief though, to know the truth about why Stacie was so… tortured by it" Chloe could only nod and keep herself from crying. "I trust her, I actually trust them both. And whether that's another mistake or not, I'm gonna give it a shot because… we're young, and what the hell are we doing moping around when we could be giving _love_ a shot. If it fails and burns down, so be it, at least we tried. Really tried"

Chloe wipes at her cheeks and turns around to Aubrey's smile. A smile that tells her to stop being such a loser and just accept that she loves Beca. Well a smile didn't say that, it just helped her to see it. Chloe nods at the blonde and starts getting up. "Bree, I didn't know you were so wise" she says just before moving in to hug her best friend tightly.

"Shut up, yes you did" Aubrey says, hugging her back just as tight "I love you"

"I love you too, Bree" Chloe was watching the two missing girls walking towards them, completely silent and awkward about not looking at each other. There was never going to be total trust, but she can't keep dwelling on the 'what if'.

* * *

Aubrey's words were echoing through her mind the whole car ride back to the campus. Every glance thrown at Beca was unseen because Beca was staring out the window, probably ignoring her for being so hot and cold. Not that it was to an extreme situation, the subtle hints of her feelings were becoming harder to hard though. She let herself kind of flirt and then basically _ran_ away. And all day was spent with her just staring at the brunette. Which was hardly returned. Beca's probably over it now, over trying to show her that she's doing better, over trying with her in general. Over her.

The two girls were silent in the back, and Chloe was half paying attention to the conversation in the front, occasionally wondering how long Aubrey knew about Stacie and Beca, or what the blonde's reaction was when Stacie confessed. Or how Stacie even confessed.

She was just glad that Aubrey was understanding. She could have lost her best friend by being selfish like that, but then being the messenger like that holds a lot of weight, because you're kind of the one doing the heartbreak. She's spent a lot of nights lying awake in torture, trying to find a way to tell Aubrey, and then talking herself out of it at the last minute. It was one of the worst feelings ever, and it was a pain that never left her for a single second.

Chloe's stare returns to Beca again, and her urge to reach out to the brunette stays ignored by her, right until the last few minutes of the car ride. Her fingers come into contact with Beca's arm, causing the girl to turn and look back at her. Chloe had to swallow her nervous lump in her throat and inhale deeply when their eye contact hit her like a train. "Do you...want to maybe talk for a bit?" her chance was taken well, Beca's face softened into a small smile and a nod. Chloe smiles for a moment and moves her hand back again, turning to look out the windscreen between the seats as the car slows.

The goodbyes between the couples were short, except her hug with Aubrey lingered for just enough time so the blonde could whisper "Any sign of the old Beca, get out" to her. The blonde didn't intend to break her spirits, and she does need to stay aware, but it hurt a little. She nods softly and moves out of the hug to turn to Beca and raise her eyebrows before walking, leading them in a walk heading _away_ from the dorm building. Just so she wasn't in any danger of doing something ridiculously stupid. It was far too early to think about this as something that can happen.

"So… what did you want to talk about?" Beca asks, making Chloe notice that they'd been walking minutes in silence thanks to her thinking so much.

"How have you been?" Chloe was quiet with her question, it wasn't exactly what she wanted to say, but working up to loaded questions was going to be difficult, especially not knowing how Beca would react.

"Good, I guess. I've been spending more time at the church. Probably too much time, really. I feel oddly…. safe there, it's weird" Beca's brows move closer together in a slight confused look. "I guess I just don't know when I started praying like it was all real"

Chloe watched the way Beca's face softened again, almost into a comfortable sadness that was stuck to the brunette's face for the passing weeks. "It's a good thing though, right? It seems to keep you calm"

"It's not the praying that keeps me calm. I just… I guess I use it to get forgiveness" Beca's head turns down in a gaze at the ground as their slow pace moves them along.

Chloe tears her eyes away from Beca to look ahead. Forgiveness wasn't something she could grant at the drop of a hat, and as much as she _wanted_ to forgive Beca, she hasn't had the opportunity or the chance to. "Can I ask what does keep you calm?"

"It isn't… something I should mention, I don't want to blur the lines" Beca says, which caused confusion to wash over her.

"I don't understand" Chloe says quietly, looking back at the girl walking beside her. Beca's hands push into the jeans that the brunette has on, and with a small shrug, Chloe's question was rejected. Beca would get like this, shut down completely and then follow it with an aggressive insult. Which is something Chloe was expecting.

"You look nice today. I mean… I know I'm not supposed to say things like that, I just.. I wanted to say it all day and it felt.. wrong, I guess" Beca's nerves were shining through, and Chloe almost wanted to pinch herself to make sure she didn't just imagine that.

"Thanks" was all that came out of Chloe's mouth as she stares at Beca, trying to figure out where the brunette's anger was.

"I think I might have fallen in love with that dog though, it was called Pudge" Beca's expression changed to a light smile, and Chloe's need to pinch herself changed to wanting to shake the brunette. "It was a cute fat little thing" the brunette continued with a smile that pulls Chloe out of her thought completely, reminding her of Beca's attractive level holding that puppy. "I wanted to throw it into Space for being that cute. It should really be ille-" Beca turned to her at that point and caught her stare, and maybe the expression on her face is what made the girl stop talking, but she couldn't figure out what her own expression even _was_. "You alright there? You're going red"

"Yeah. No I'm fine I just… it's hot out here" Chloe says, turning away quickly to reduce her blushing and focus on keeping her breathing steady. "I'm sorry"

"For what? I didn't know you controlled the weather" Beca says next to her, sending that voice deep into her heart and making it skip. "Do you have some kind of naked rain dance, or is that just a rumor?"

Chloe smiles slightly and shakes her head "It's just a rumor. People like to talk."

"That's true, but that's probably because you're attractive. Everyone likes talking about attractive naked people" Beca says, quickly adding "Sorry.. if that was.."

Chloe cuts the brunette off mid-apology by stopping them both and making Beca turn to her. "I need to just…. I need to say some things, okay?" Beca's face fell slightly with a small nod, prompting her to start rambling. Which is bound to go south, but she had to do something before she exploded. "I don't know.. what you're doing, or even if you're aware that you're doing it. But every time you… whenever I see you, all I can… I can't…" Chloe sighs loudly and turns her head to the side.

"It's fine, Chloe. I get that you're not into me anymore. And as much as that sucks, I'm dealing with it. As best I can"

Chloe's head turns down, and she swallows back the growing lump when her tears start filling her eyes again, annoying her slightly that she's always so quick to cry. "It isn't like that" she says, sniffing loudly and looking up at the brunette with her tears already starting to fall. Beca moves a hand up toward her, making Chloe turn away and stop the act before it begins. "I'm getting closer, Beca. But I'm just… I need answers" she wipes at her own cheeks and avoids looking back at the brunette again.

"Anything you need"

Chloe swallows again, she doesn't even _want_ to know answers. Answers to questions that are just going to fill her with pain, but there's a need inside of her to know, and she can't forgive Beca without the answers. "Did you… did you ever have feelings for her?"

"Not one. Even when it was… even just the physical thing, it wasn't… it was just.. We used each other to get away from...ourselves"

Chloe turns to look at Beca again, finding only guilt written across the face in front of her.

"I hate myself every minute for doing that. I really do. Every time I look at you I just… I hate myself"

Chloe's hands move up again, wiping at her new falling tears before she steps forward and shoves herself against Beca's body, moving her hands up to hold her hands against the back of Beca's head in a hug that won't cause pain to the brunette's back.

Beca's sharp inhale was startling for a second, then she felt arms moving rapidly around her back in a tight hold. "I'm sorry, Chloe. I'll say it every fucking day until I die" Beca's voice was shaky, and she knew the brunette was starting to get emotional against her shoulder, so she takes her chance on love.

"I forgive you" she says quietly, feeling the punch into her heart when the jerk of Beca's sobbing moves the smaller body slightly against her.

* * *

Neither of them knew if they were seen outside in their embrace, and for some reason Beca didn't seem to care at all. Which was dangerous for the brunette to take a chance on. They hadn't really talked about what this meant for them just yet, when they parted from each other, Chloe wiped Beca's tears away and suggested they move indoors just in case someone saw them so close to each other.

But then inside the dorm was just as difficult to navigate between each other. Beca sat across the room on her desk chair, looking down at the floor in a zoned out state with no expression. And it was confusing for her to try and figure out what the brunette was thinking in that moment after she said she forgives Beca.

"You don't… need to do this just because you feel sorry for me" Beca says quietly without looking up from that spot on the floor.

Chloe's offense didn't last long when she thought about how Beca must truly feel in the current moment. Her father beat her only a handful of days ago for speaking up in her defense. And then she was causing Beca _more_ pain by being so confused and just...around. Every time she was near Beca, she knew it was causing pain. And it hurt her too, to know Beca was so close but so far. "I'm not here because I feel sorry for you. I'm here because…. because I want to be"

"I'm still not…. I'm not all the way there yet" Beca's eyes move further from her to stare at the floor beside her.

"And neither am I" Chloe watched the brunette's eyes close and it throws another painful punch into her chest.

"Is there _any_ chance at all for us? Or is it just… have I just-"

"Maybe. It'll… I think it might take a while, but.. maybe" Chloe pulls her bottom lip back between her teeth and holds it. Beca turns to her, finally, and nods slowly. "We just have to fix us first and then… we can talk"

"Okay" Beca's gaze drops with a long exhale, then returns again "Can we just… maybe hang out or something?"

"I'd like that" Chloe says quietly with a small smile. "Maybe we can.. watch a movie or something? I've wanted to watch Spice World for ages, but Aubrey hates it"

"And…. you really think I'd _like_ it?"

"Well no… but... "

"Can it be considered part of my punishment?"

Chloe huffs and smiles, then sends a nod over at Beca. The brunette smiles softly and picks up the laptop from the desk before moving over to her on the bed.

* * *

It was easy for desire to seep into the places you never thought it would spring from. Spice World isn't exactly the most romantic movie in the world, but when Beca actually reacted to it with laughter or a smirk, the butterflies in her stomach were trying to push her closer to the brunette, which gets harder to refuse as the time goes on.

Controlling desire was usually an easy task for her, because her feelings have never been this strong for someone before. Having Beca less than a foot away from her though, that was causing a _lot_ of problems in her body. Moving too fast was the cause of their break up, she pushed Beca into something before stopping to think about how the brunette would react. And then when she found out how Beca _did_ react, she left.

Letting the guilt settle into her was helping with the desire, but she won't let herself look at Beca just in case she makes a stupid move. Staying strong is important, no matter how different Beca seems in this moment, there's a chance that it'll all end horribly if she once again moves too quickly.

"Well that was… an experience that I hope to never live through again" Beca says, and Chloe looks over with a grin. Sending all of her guilt away immediately on eye contact.

"You laughed"

"I laughed at the stupidity of it" Beca raises an eyebrow with a smirk, sending that desire up a notch or two.

"You totally enjoyed it, don't lie" Chloe lets herself lean back slowly, giving her more room to deal with her growing urge to move closer.

"I enjoy _many_ things. And none of those things include this movie"

Chloe huffs through her smile as she starts shifting towards the end of the bed. "I disagree completely. You can deny it for a lifetime, I saw your smile"

"I didn't realize you were watching me that closely" Beca's words cause her to tense slightly. She really _was_ staring at the brunette.

Chloe shrugs after standing and turning to look down at the brunette on the bed "I saw your reflection a few times"

"Oh yeah? Deny it for a lifetime, I saw your head turn" Beca grins at her and makes her laugh softly.

"Shut up, I was just checking to make sure you weren't asleep" Chloe's voice falls more quiet, and her eyes drop down to the edge of the bed. "I should really get going. Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Ah.. yeah, I can't really come to the dog thing tomorrow as well. I have a fair thing" Chloe looks up as Beca talks, catching the brunette's slightly embarrassed gaze before it drops to the laptop.

"A fair thing?" Chloe asks as the brunette starts clicking away at the laptop, failing to hide the awkward tension settling into Beca.

"Just a church thing. It's not really… it's just a thing"

"Why are you embarrassed about that?"

"I'm not, I just…" Beca sighs and moves the hand off the laptop onto the bed before the dark blue eyes return to hers "It's just kinda weird to talk about church things when I've been so… against it all"

"You don't have to feel weird about that, if church and religion helps you, you should definitely be proud of that. I'm proud of you" Chloe's eyebrows furrow in confusion when Beca's mouth opens before the brunette turns away from her. A few moments pass before she sees Beca trying to hide the tears forming. "Bec"

"I'm fine, I just" Beca draws in a sharp breath and wipes at the tears quickly before moving the laptop out of the way and getting up. "You should get going. I can text you when it's over, maybe we can hang out again or something. Or not. I dunno. I don't mind. Whatever you wanna do" Beca moves across the room to the door and starts pulling it open while talking. Leaving Chloe standing in the middle of the room trying to catch up to everything said.

"Okay… I'll talk to you tomorrow" Chloe's eyes falter slightly, then she walks across the room and reaches out to brush her fingers over the back of Beca's hand. "Bye" she says quietly, getting a small nod from Beca before she walks out, already feeling horrible that she made the brunette sad again.


	17. Chapter 17

She wasn't quite sure _why_ Chloe's words hit her like a tonne of bricks. She just never heard anyone say they were proud of her. _Proud._ Of _her_. Even though she's acted like the worst person in the world, Chloe was proud of her. It was impossible to believe, and she most likely never will believe it.

But still, after letting out her insane emotional reaction to Chloe's words, she realized how ridiculous it was to kick Chloe out like that just because the redhead said something nice to her. And now she has to apologize yet again for something she did in a split second decision, which was something she really had to focus on fixing. She has her anger managed fairly well, other than her little...or big mishap with her father.

 _Beca Mitchell 18:25_  
 _Sorry for making you leave like that. Honestly, it was just weird to hear you say that. I didn't think you would ever say something like that to me and it just… it surprised me a lot._  
 _Chloe Beale 18:25_  
 _Oh_  
 _I'm actually glad you told me_  
 _I was really worried that I somehow offended you_  
 _Beca Mitchell 18:25_  
 _Not offended, just nuts_  
 _Chloe Beale 18:25_  
 _LOL not nuts. You just need better people around you._  
 _Beca Mitchell 18:25_  
 _And that I have, now._  
 _Chloe Beale 18:26_  
 _I know. Good luck at your fair tomorrow. I'll think of the many movies we can watch after, just so you can fall asleep during them all._  
 _Beca Mitchell 18:26_  
 _Thanks. I'll message when I'm leaving._

* * *

Beca's early morning was made a tiny bit better with the two coffees she bought on her way over to the church. And then she felt a lot better when all of the stalls were basically set up already and she just had to find out what she was actually doing for the day. Which was working at the can drive, then a lunch break, then she gets free reign to move around the place.

Which was a lot bigger than she expected it to be. The church grounds were large, so it wasn't that surprising really. A few stalls were set up, then some rides and a jumping castle. A small stage with a podium, which will probably end in a service of some kind. A kissing booth, which she was _so_ glad she didn't get put on. And then there were a few food trucks.

There were five large push trolleys set up with labelled boxes for corresponding cans of food donations a few feet behind the table. And that was simple enough to keep track of, even though the boxes of cans were kind of piling up on the table and then in _front_ of the table. Then basically all around her because people just kept bringing them over. The foot traffic did slow eventually, but she was left with a lot of sorting to do.

"Dude. You could build a house with these" Beca hears, causing her to look up and sighing with relief when she finds Jesse staring back at her with a smirk.

"I am so glad to see you. Climb Mount Killa-Canjaro and help me out here"

"Well _I_ can't, but… maybe someone else can?" Jesse points to the side of him and she looks over and scans the area until she finds Chloe a few yards away and not looking in her direction, so she drops. "Uh…" Jesse says in reaction.

"Shit… why did I just do that" Beca whispers to herself, even surprising herself by her reaction. She takes a moment and then stands up slowly, and now Chloe was standing on the other side of the table looking at Jesse.

"I just saw the _cutest_ crocheted puppy. I should get it for Bec" Chloe says, turning away from the table without even noticing her there.

Her eye contact with Jesse was painful because of her blushing cheeks. And his stupid grin wasn't helping at all. She reaches into a box and takes out a can "I um… I like dogs"

Chloe turns back as soon as she started talking, stunned to see her _right_ there, she assumes. "I wanted it to be a surprise! You sneak." Chloe says with a smile growing.

"I'll act surprised if you want, but… it's kinda your fault for announcing it before making sure I wasn't here" Beca smiles slightly and turns around to put the can in the labelled box, using this moment to release a quiet, long breath.

"I'm just gonna text you next time, Jess" Chloe's voice was amused, and when she turns back, Jesse and Chloe were smiling at each other and she finds herself needing to test her ability in control.

"I have a date with that kissing booth" Jesse announces as he starts backing up. "Gotta get those lips" Beca's eyes move over to the kissing booth, where Ruth and Peter were sitting, they were a married elderly couple and probably around 80 or 90. She huffs out a small laugh and looks down at the box in front of her before reaching in and freezing when she sees Chloe moving around the table and bringing a leg over the boxes trapping her inside the area. And now trapping them _both_ in the area.

"Can I help?" Chloe says, reaching her side and smiling at her widely. Something that she hasn't seem directed at her in ages. And it has the _exact_ same effect on her that it did before.

"Yeah..sure. I, um.. you just put the cans in the boxes. It's.. easy" Beca's voice trails off into a quiet answer and she turns back to the box with her arm still hanging inside.

"Well _duh_." Chloe says, and she smiles in reaction to her obvious statement. Then Chloe's hand moves onto her arm and the redhead leans forward to reach into the box with _her_ arm still inside of it, bringing them a lot closer together and filling her whole body with a tingling butterfly feeling. "I hope it's okay that I showed up like this, Jesse kind of talked me into it" the redhead says before brushing their hands together on what seemed like it was _very_ much on purpose before picking up a can and moving back to look at it.

Beca couldn't speak just yet, her brain had basically shut down as soon as Chloe moved closer to her. Or even showed up. Beca's eyes fall to the can in Chloe's hands while the redhead inspects it. "It's soup. Soup.. is in the ...the box..with soup" Beca shakes her head at herself and turns to the box again, silently berating her nerves for getting to her.

"I know it's soup, Bec. I was just wondering what it tastes like. Have you ever tried Cream of Broccoli soup?" Chloe says before turning and dropping it into the box, completely ignoring Beca's plan to _place_ them in and build them.

"No… I'm not big on cream of anything" Beca's words were taken _so_ wrong when Chloe's burst of laughter hits her ears. Causing her to grimace at her unintentional joke. "I didn't.. that wasn't a gross sex reference"

"I know, but it's _so_ true though" Chloe's smile was so radiant that it was actually making her need sunglasses. Beca picks up the can she'd been holding for way too long now and turns to the boxes to reach inside and pick up the soup can that Chloe threw in to add it to a tower of cans in the box. Then she places her one on top. "Sorry" Beca jumps when Chloe's voice was so close. "I didn't know you were sticking to an O.C.D. pattern. You're worse than Bree" the redhead says before putting her can in the box beside the soup box.

"I just… I didn't wanna screw anything up" Beca says before turning back to the boxes on the table, which was quickly followed by Chloe's hand on her upper arm, which starts rubbing up and down gently and filling her heart with way too many fireworks.

"You won't, Becs. You're great"

Beca takes a few deep breaths as she stands still and watches Chloe moving forward to get another can "Why are you being so nice to me? I mean I know we had that talk, but…. it's like… you went from hardly even looking or talking to me to just… this"

"I didn't mean to give you whiplash" Chloe says, turning and looking up from the can to meet her eyes in a stare "I had a talk with Bree and she just… she made me realize that we're all just… floating around trying to find something like _this_. Everyone looks for love, whether they admit it or not and we _have_ that already. And yeah… things were hard for me before but.." Chloe looks down before continuing "But I realized that you mean far too much to me to let my paranoid brain get in the way of giving this a real chance"

"So… what, you're telling me that there _is_ a chance?" Beca searches Chloe's silent contemplative face until the redhead looks up into her eyes again.

"Yes." Chloe says, so matter of fact that it actually stuns Beca. "I see the progress, Becs. And I know that I want… I know I still love you, and I want to, but just… maybe slowly, and I know that it was the problem before bu-"

"No. No, slowly is… slow's great. I need slow too" Beca says quickly, nodding along with Chloe's conditions.

Chloe smiles softly and holds the can to Beca "So… you're going to tell me if _anything_ is upsetting you, and you can't just sweep it under the rug anymore. I can't go through all of it again, I need this to be the one"

"This is the one. No sweeping. I'll… pick it all up and throw it in your face" Beca smiles as soon as Chloe's short lived laughter comes out. Then she looks down and takes the can in some kind of contract agreement. "I promise this is the one. A real promise"

"I believe you" Beca looks up from the can to Chloe's smile. Then the redhead turns away to reach into the box again. "I chose the movies for tonight, by the way. Mean Girls and Clueless"

"Wait. What? We've already watched Clueless"

Chloe smirks at Beca's oddly fearful voice. She did like watching the movie with Chloe, but jesus. Living through that twice is a little much, especially when it was only like two months ago. "Just checking to see if you were paying attention. It's actually Mean Girls and Bridesmaids"

"Oh thank God. I really don't know how I'll deal with a movie repeat. Some of them are torture" Beca says, smiling as she pulls out another can and looks up at Pastor Jenson a few yards away, who was obvious just _waiting_ for her to look up. He points at Chloe quickly and mouths something that looks a lot like 'is that her?' Beca glances over as Chloe turns around to the boxes behind and back at the Pastor, giving him a quick nod. Then he gives her a thumbs up and turns away. And now her cheeks are burning and she feels Chloe's arm bumping into hers when the redhead returns to the box. She looks over at Chloe with a smile and burning blush on her face, then down at the box in front of her after Chloe smiles back and moves away again, taking over the job, basically because Beca's melting.

* * *

She got her second test of the day after lunch. Which she spent with Chloe, and unfortunately everyone else who had the morning shift. They had been walking around the fair, and mostly just people watched. And she really wanted to make some kind of move, just to make sure Chloe knew how much it meant to her to have the redhead here, but she can't. Not here, not outside.

"You know.. I think we should go to the kissing booth" Chloe says with a smirk growing "I think I'd like to see you getting a real sloppy kiss from that guy" she feels Chloe bumping shoulders with her in an attempt at playfulness, which makes her smile and look over at the booth as they walk towards it slowly.

"I would do anything to protect you… but that's a lot to ask of me" Beca says through her grimaced smile. "I bet you'd give him a heart attack, I'm pretty sure he has a pacemaker"

"How would _I_ give him a heart attack? You're the one making out with him. I have my eyes set on the lady"

Beca snorts and turns her gaze to Ruth behind the table, pecking a man's cheek. "I bet she'll slip you the tongue… and maybe some dentures"

"Oh my god! That's so gross!" Chloe groans and gives Beca a shove when she starts laughing at the redhead's disgust. "You're disturbed"

"What? It'd be so hot. Imagine the oral" Beca's laugh grows louder after Chloe gasps and smacks her arm, then grabs it and stops them.

"Stop! Ew! You're so gonna get a stern talking to. I'll go get the Pastor and he'll smite you" Through all of the disgust, Chloe's laughter was filling her with the need to cause more of it. It was addictive, making Chloe happy.

Which is when her test came. They had stopped a few feet from the kissing booth and Chloe's arm fell from hers. And just as she was about to crack her next gross comment, some guy walks over, who was seriously attractive and probably Chloe's type.

"Why aren't you running this thing? I bet you'd make a _killing_ " This guy says to Chloe, and she feels the need inside of her, that need to punch him in the face or tell him to fuck off and die.

"Because I'm married" Chloe says with a shrug, and it seemed like the redhead was completely disinterested, but this guy could easily end up someone who could treat Chloe better than her. At least better than she thinks it'll go. Beca isn't exactly healed yet.

"So? What's a little kiss. I'd pay _triple_ to get my mouth on-"

Chloe's hand moves up to silence the guy's advance "I'm sorry. But I think maybe you didn't realize that I'm not interested"

"Well if you ever change your mind, I'll keep my money close" the guy says, causing Beca's jaw to clench. He starts moving away, and her eyes close with a sigh, this is the most important part. To not take her anger out on Chloe. So she visualizes Chloe about 4 minutes ago when they were laughing together, she found her anchor a while ago when she had to keep herself from acting out of anger. Chloe's smile had this effect on her that made her feel grounded and calm. And even though they weren't - aren't together, it works.

"Beca?"

Her eyes open to Chloe and her smile comes across as a guilty one, unsure of whether her reaction was going to be taken well or not. "Sorry. I had to…" Beca looks over at the guy walking away, and now that her anger had dissipated, she didn't even care to chase him and hit him with a bat or something.

"I really wanna hug you"

Beca turns back to Chloe and smiles before stepping closer and wrapping her arms around the redhead, closing her eyes as soon as the scent from Chloe hits her nose.

Then Chloe's arms drop and she's being shoved back gently. And her confusion didn't have time to really settle into the redhead's sudden change of heart before Chloe says "Your father's here"

Beca turns around and searches the area, finding her father in the far distance, talking to her step-mother and sister. "Ugh.. shit"

"Isn't that a bad thing to say on church grounds?"

Beca turns back to Chloe and sighs quietly at the smile on the redhead's face. "Is it okay if we get out of here? I mean I'm not really needed anymore and… I don't wanna deal with that"

"Of course" Chloe says, before sending another glance over her shoulder at her father. "I still really wanna hit him with an axe" Beca huffs a laugh and pats Chloe's arm before she starts walking with the redhead.

"Yeah, me too. But I think that'll take a lot of Hail Marys to forgive"

"What is that anyway? I don't really follow religion that well"

Beca inhales deeply and glances over at the redhead before cringing slightly "It's just a prayer, it's supposed to be like… I dunno. You just pray to Holy Mary to...pray for us sinners. It's weird and.. stupid"

Beca looks down as they walk, her embarrassment over religion was almost as embarrassing as her unnecessary nerves. "I don't think it's stupid. It's good for you, you're totally grounded now. And that cross is really pretty on you"

Beca smiles and raises her hand to play with the necklace between her fingers "Yeah, you know me well"

"I thought it'd be like… some kind of devil worship to have a black cross, and some people think so, but then a lot of opinions were like… good. I'm just happy you like it"

"I _love_ it. It really… it's the coolest thing ever. It might even be better than that photo frame"

Chloe snorts out a laugh and shoves her playfully "I spent a _lot_ of time taking photos just to get that adorable one"

"I think… that makes you really weird" Beca says, working her way closer to Chloe again as they walk.

"Or you're a really ugly sleeper" Chloe says through a smirk

"Oh, shit. The knives are out now" Beca narrows her eyes for a moment as she stares at Chloe "You're slightly violent today, I think you've shoved me eight times already"

"Eight? No way! It's like twice." Chloe's hand moves up to brush at her hair, making her tense and turn her head away slightly, forcing Chloe's hand to move away again "Sorry.. I thought we were far enough"

"It isn't… it's not just.. anyone could tell him, Chloe. I don't know who he knows, okay" Beca turns her head away as they walk, hiding her disappointment in this situation from the redhead. It was one of their first actual affectionate moments, and she has to make it stop because they're outside.

"I know. I'm sorry"

"It's okay, really. I think it's just...it sucks. I want you to be able to do that but.."

"You're just gonna have to imagine it happening then. So right now, I'm brushing my fingers through your hair and totally staring like a creep"

Beca smiles slowly and turns to look at Chloe, who was definitely staring at her, but not like a creep. Just like Chloe. "And I'm kinda weirded out, but I like the touch"

"Good" Chloe's smile was small, but it impacted the tension in a major way, sending it into an urge to kiss the redhead and never stop. So she looks away again, that wasn't on her to decide. They're moving at Chloe's pace, and this time she won't get it wrong.

* * *

"I don't get it, why are they ruining this girl's life? Just because she's popular and hot? That seems kind of fucked up"

"They're ruining her life because she's a bully, Becs. And it's a _movie_. This isn't real life"

Beca looks over at Chloe with an incredulous look and raises her eyebrow "So people aren't going to be influenced by this and try to take down school bullies?"

"Okay, this movie came out in like...two thousand and four. So… no. I have never heard of anyone trying to take down a bully. You're thinking about this too much. Just shush and watch"

"Okay…. well the upside to this is that everyone is hot"

"Hm. Which one would you most like to sleep with?" Beca's smile fades slowly as she stares down at the screen. "It's a fun question, Becs. I won't be hurt" Chloe adds in, calming her nerves slightly.

"I guess… the redhead" Beca says with a smirk. Then the back of Chloe's hand hits her leg.

"Come on!"

"Seriously. Lohan was hot, look at those" Beca points on the screen, right at Lindsay Lohan's boobs. "I mean damn"

"You're such a perv"

"Yeah, I know. Who would you sleep with?" Beca raises an eyebrow at Chloe, who was playfully smirking and taking ages to answer.

"Well _first_ , I would sleep with Regina, because I bet she's totally nuts, then Janis, because...well the same reason. And then Aaron, because he's super hot. And then-"

"Jesus, okay. Okay. I get the picture"

Chloe's laugh was quiet and low, and it sent the butterflies into her stomach, keeping her jealousy at bay and filling her with a rolling wave of desire that makes her shift uncomfortably and sit up straighter. Then she makes the mistake of glancing at the redhead and catching the stare back at her.

And then everything freezes.

Then Chloe's leaning in, and it feels like it takes years before their lips brush together and press into each other. Beca's body fills quickly with a sparking electricity, which heightens when Chloe's head tilts to the side and a tongue presses against her lip, urging them to part and grant the redhead entrance, which she does with a small sigh.

The heat grew faster than either of them could have controlled as soon as their tongues met, and the soft moan from Chloe challenged her to stop, which she didn't, and neither did Chloe. The redhead's hand moves to the back of her neck, pulling her closer as Chloe starts leaning sideways, and Beca follows right down to the point where Chloe's laying on her back and underneath her.

A louder, higher pitched moan comes from Chloe, startling Beca to move up and backwards onto her knees between Chloe's legs, then she shifts quickly to the edge of the bed and stands up, making her way across the room to the wall and standing with her back against it. "Dude.. shit"

Chloe turns to look at the laptop and tries to regain control of her erratic breathing. But Beca was basically just staring at Chloe and trying to control herself from moving forward again. This is Chloe's pace, and she knows that, but fighting these urges are hard for Beca. This was a test that she's not sure she _can_ pass. Moments go by with the movie running in the background of their thoughts. And Chloe's voice breaks their silence eventually "That was a little… more than I planned for"

"I'm sorry, I just… I'm sorry" Beca turns her eyes down to the carpet, exhaling loudly.

"It wasn't your fault, I think we just have a lot of...pent up energy. So..we should probably just.. maybe.. cheek kisses for a while" Chloe smiles and looks up at Beca from the bed, which really doesn't help the urge to move across the room.

Beca looks down quickly, swallowing the lump and wishing her desire was just as easy to get rid of. "I think um.. maybe.. I think maybe you should go, I don't want you to but… I'm not.. ready for this many….. urges"

"I understand Becs." Chloe says while shifting slowly off the bed, which was _too_ slow. "I'll see you tomorrow?" Beca nods rapidly, watching Chloe as the redhead approaches her and stops with a smirk. "I'm guessing I shouldn't.."

"Bad idea" Beca says with a slightly strained voice.

"Kay. Message me?" Chloe raises her eyebrows and Beca nods again, then Chloe winks and starts to walk away with a smirk.

"Baaaww" Beca waited until the door clicked shut to make the noise and lean forward to hang there for a second before making her way to the bed.


	18. Chapter 18

Chloe bites her lip as she smiles and skips into the room where Aubrey and Stacie were making out on the bed. She slammed the door to make them fly apart and look back at her with surprise. "Sorry! I just had like...a really good day" She says as she moves over to jump on the bed with the two girls who are now sighing and on their backs side by side. Which gives Chloe the freedom to jump forward onto her stomach between them. "Beca is just…. she's so different but… not different, I mean it's like she got rid of all the parts that really made me sad and just… she's so _controlled_ now. A guy hit on me and she didn't even flinch!"

Aubrey's eyebrows raise with an incredulous look "What happened after?"

"We _hugged_. An actual hug, like outside. Which sort of got interrupted because her father showed up, but oh my god, it was ju-"

"Wait, her father saw you two?"

"No, he was like across a football field far away, so it's fine. We took off after that and started watching Mean Girls, and then we kissed"

"And you're not… taking it slow? I thought you were taking it slow"

"A kiss isn't fast" Stacie says, joining in on the conversation and getting looks from both of the girls then turning away.

"A kiss _isn't_ fast. If it was… just a kiss. It was a little bit hotter than I meant for it to be"

Aubrey clucks her tongue for a moment and turns back to Chloe "Well at least you stopped, right?"

"Yeah… she stopped, too. Which is also surprising, and then she kicked me out. I think she needed a little _alone_ time" Chloe smiles and lays her head down on Stacie's shoulder.

"Just as long as she stays alone, that's all that matters" Aubrey says, then Chloe's smile fades. "Sorry, I didn't…. that was insensitive"

"No, it's fine. I guess we'll see if she stays alone"

"Or we could go check" Aubrey says, which brings back Chloe's grin.

"I am so not gonna burst in there right now, she went like… red in the face from needing some sexual healing"

"I know that feel" Aubrey says, following it with a laugh after Chloe sighs loudly and starts moving up.

"Fine, you guys get back to your sex. I'll go find Amy or something… or maybe not, she'll be with one of her boyfriends… maybe.. I'll just go to the library. I do actually have to study at some point" Chloe crawls over Stacie's body to stand up beside the bed and prance over to her desk, picking up a few books. "Don't forget to use protection"

"Ditto, Chloe. Because we both know where you're _really_ going"

"I am not!" Chloe says as she rushes out the door and pulls it closed before Aubrey can accuse her of anything.

* * *

So Chloe _did_ go to the library. But what she didn't do was study. She had only just sat down and looked at her phone when she saw the message from Beca.

 _Beca Mitchell 16:23_  
 _Thinking about you._

Chloe would _never_ have been able to resist that message, although she does feel a tiny bit bad for the heated kiss that she had with Beca.

 _Chloe Beale 16:40_  
 _Was I good?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:41_  
 _What?_  
 _Chloe Beale 16:41_  
 _;)_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:41_  
 _I still don't get it_  
 _Chloe Beale 16:41_  
 _OMG Beca. You made me leave after that kiss, weren't you going to… relieve yourself?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:41_  
 _Seriously? Relieve myself? Who calls it that, for a start. Also no. I was not "relieving myself". I just needed to… return to a flaccid state of mind._  
 _Chloe Beale 16:42_  
 _Ew! You're so gross. I'm so glad you didn't lose your pervsonality_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:42_  
 _I think you made a spelling mistake_  
 _Chloe Beale 16:42_  
 _Nope. Your PERVsonality. Get it?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:42_  
 _I get it. You're a dork._  
 _Chloe Beale 16:42_  
 _You're okay, right? Nothing… frightening you?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:43_  
 _What's frightening about one of the hottest kisses in my lifetime? No, but really, I'm good. I have no sins to confess._  
 _Chloe Beale 16:43_  
 _I should get a priest outfit and you can confess all your sins to me ;)_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:43_  
 _I think you need to work on your innuendos_  
 _Chloe Beale 16:43_  
 _I should get a priest outfit and… you can be my altar boy?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:44_  
 _And that confirms it. You need a lot of work._  
 _Chloe Beale 16:44_  
 _You can be Jesus and I'll be the cross_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:44_  
 _You're never gonna get it right_  
 _Chloe Beale 16:46_  
 _Okay! I'll get a priest outfit and you can get on your knees and call for God!_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:46_  
 _You know that you're horrible at this, right?_  
 _How about… I'd taste your Holy Water any day_  
 _I'd love to see you in a missionary position. (As in ...Missionary, you know)_  
 _Jesus will come again. And so will you._  
 _Chloe Beale 16:47_  
 _You are too good at these, is this what you think about at church?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:47_  
 _Sometimes the Service is really boring._  
 _Hey. Why is it necessary to stay quiet in a church?_  
 _Chloe Beale 16:47_  
 _I don't know, why?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:47_  
 _Because people are sleeping._  
 _Chloe Beale 16:47_  
 _LOL I like that. Much better than your stupid innuendos_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:48_  
 _MY stupid innuendos? Please._  
 _Chloe Beale 16:48_  
 _Can I come back now, Aubrey and Stacie are getting it on and I'm bored at the library. I won't do anything_  
 _Beca Mitchell 16:48_  
 _Sure._

* * *

Chloe may have shown up a little faster than Beca expected thanks to her _possibly_ breaking out into a run halfway and then speed walking so she didn't look so crazy when she showed up. Beca probably noticed though, the brunette laughed softly after opening the door.

Chloe walks in, smiling widely and holding her books, which she puts on the desk behind Beca's laptop. "You wanna finish watching the movie or something?"

"Might as well, I'm curious to see if the blonde one ends up shooting everyone"

Chloe picks up Beca's laptop from the desk and holds onto it as she moves onto the bed and sits against the wall. "Can I ask you something?"

"Um… okay" Beca freezes just before getting onto the bed and looks down at her, looking slightly frightened by her grin

"You know how Noah had that ark thing?"

"Yeah..?"

"Were there termites on it?"

"I… don't..know? I think you'll find that's a fictional story"

"That's supposed to be a joke, Beca"

"I'm laughing on the inside, I swear" Beca smirks and climbs onto the bed to sit next to her against the wall while Chloe navigates back to the movie and clicks ahead to their spot.

"You're a butt"

"I think my joke was better, sorry"

Chloe smiles and looks over at the brunette, "Knock knock"

Beca sighs softly and shakes her head "Who's there?"

"I ate mop"

"I ate mop wh- Oh. You almost got me there" Beca holds a finger up at her and laughs.

"You're _so_ gross" Chloe shifts closer to bump their shoulders together, and notices the slight wince from the brunette. "What? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Back"

"Oh my god. I'm sorry, I forgot. I didn't th-"

"Chloe. It's fine" Beca says with a reassuring smile before reaching over her lap and giving off the impression that this was supposed to be a move. And it wasn't until Chloe's lips were pressed against Beca's that she realized. Beca didn't kiss back at first and ended up smirking, which was when she figured it out and moved back with a grimace, finding Beca's raised eyebrows and smirk.

"Shut up" Chloe says, looking down at Beca's hand and finding it holding Beca's phone.

"I don't really… know how you thought that was a kiss when I was...you know, veering off this way" Beca leans slightly away from her and she knows her cheeks were burning red, which really doesn't happen often, but _that_ was kinda mortifying. Beca leans toward her again and reconnects their lips in a quick kiss before kissing her cheek and moving back. "You're cute when you blush"

"So are you" Chloe says, smiling softly and pushing play on the video when she has a view of the screen.

"I never blush" Beca says, which Chloe snorts at.

"And I'm the Pope"

"You're referencing religion a lot today, something you wanna tell me?"

"Yes. I am God" Chloe smiles brightly and shifts down to rest her head on Beca's shoulder, then feels the brunette's head leaning against hers.

"Wow. You know I'm really not surprised. You're almost impossible to look at because you're so hot. I feel like I might turn to dust"

"That's such a nice compliment"

"You're welcome" Beca huffs softly "Ssh, I'm watching Boobs Lohan"

"Such a perv"

"What? I would hit that harder than the Big Bang"

Chloe laughs loudly and looks at Beca with an amused surprise "I cannot believe you just said that!"

* * *

She isn't quite sure _how_ everything fell into a comfortable area so quickly. Or maybe it wasn't quickly. There was a long break between them, but Chloe was just…. perplexed by how she went from trying to avoid Beca completely to just…. letting herself go. And maybe Aubrey had something to do with it. The talks she had with her best friend over the week after the dog show, where it came out that Aubrey _knew_. Chloe still had trouble with her guilt over not telling the blonde, and Aubrey would constantly be reassuring, and as much as she hated herself for not being honest with her best friend, she felt good, happy even. She's happy that Aubrey and Stacie had moved past it, and Beca was really doing better as the days pass.

They took it slower, _much_ slower. Their make-out session had pretty much put them into a weird tension that would kick up a cheek kiss into an almost mouth kiss, so they just… turned it into a totally G rated relationship and held hands and hugged. That lasted two days. then there were the cheek kisses. And that was fine for a while, but Chloe was getting antsy about not moving anywhere and making Beca sexually frustrated somehow. Which she knows is her own paranoia kicking in again, but she can't shake the past. She forgave, but she didn't forget.

It was their first week anniversary, which is something Chloe mentioned and got made fun of by Beca for thinking of these things as huge milestones. But she was an anniversary girl, she loved the idea of celebrating time together, and it was a reason to be romantic. Which Beca really didn't seem to understand, not that it was surprising to her, Beca wasn't exactly the romantic relationship type, other than the candle date the brunette made for her when they first met. _That_ was the only time.

Chloe opened her dorm room after returning from her class and moved into the room to plonk her books down onto the desk and take her bag off her shoulder to put on the seat. That's when her eyes had to do a double-take and land on an envelope on her pillow.

Her eyebrows twitch toward each other in a confusion as she moves to pick up the envelope and find her name written on it, when she flips it over, it was sealed. She hates that, especially since the envelope was on her pillow and not actually in the mail, you don't _have_ to close it and ruin a perfectly good envelope. She rips it open after her little thought rant and pulls out a small card

 _Dress up. Our date is at 6pm in my dorm. Beca._

It wasn't exactly romantic, but she smiles down at the card and pushes it back into the envelope so she can shove it under her pillow and keep it forever. And now she has to choose an outfit. A week anniversary isn't the biggest deal, so she won't go _too_ over the top. And anything she does choose will probably match to Beca's outfit, there was no doubt in her mind that Beca was going to be wearing mostly dark coloured clothing. The only time the brunette has actually put on color was when she _made_ Beca wear her purple hoodie. Which was a horrible idea because she _really_ wanted to kiss the brunette.

So she has to choose something that isn't going to make Beca frustrated, but also looks… _good_. And being a girl, this is basically going to take her the whole three hours she has left.

And thankfully Aubrey and Stacie showed up after half an hour to help her. Which ended up with her going through every single outfit until they settled on a blue polka dotted dress, which isn't sexy, but isn't just...blah.

The weird thing about everyone knowing that Stacie and Beca had a thing is that no one even acknowledged it, but it also wasn't hanging over their heads. It was like it never _actually_ happened. Or maybe just acting like it never happened makes things run smoother. It wasn't as if it'll happen again, and if it ever did… she knows that it'll be over and done with for all of them. Aubrey would leave, and so would Chloe. But they'd always have each other.

But that'll never happen.

Chloe felt secure in her _mostly_ trust in Beca now. Really, the only thing they struggled with was the way kissing would escalate so fast. Or sometimes Beca's insecurities would shine through, the brunette still didn't believe that she _could_ be in love with Beca. Even though she was there every single day, and stayed over two nights. Two nights with _no_ accidents. It was hard to watch Beca's face fall, she could tell that her girlfriend was struggling with emotions and holding back reactions to those emotions. So she'd stay quiet and wait, or try and put her hand over Beca's to pull the girl back into the real world, where she _does_ love Beca.

Part of her wishes she had what Aubrey and Stacie have, they were in love, and they're always so… easy with each other. It just seemed like it flowed now. Like they were supposed to jump over the hurdle to settle into something _real_. But Beca's hurdles keep coming, and they're smaller now, easier to jump over. But they weren't stopping.

The biggest hurdle was Beca's father, which thankfully hasn't come back around, but it won't be long until he's worming his way back in and making her girlfriend go back to their dinners to try and tell Beca how despicable he finds everything. And she's scared. She's scared that he'll lash out again when he sees Beca. Beca _hit_ him, and called him out for his affairs. Beca did bring up the fact that he goes silent after a beating like that and ends up calling a few weeks later to get the brunette back over for dinners, and that it just went back to normal until the next one. It was a disgusting pattern, and she _hates_ the idea of Beca living through that for so long. But there's nothing she can do about it, this was Beca's decision.

"Chloe, you know it's six, right?" Aubrey's voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she looks over at the clock.

Her eyes widen when she sees the hands and she moves off the bed quickly to run for the door, hearing Aubrey's chuckle as she runs out.

Chloe hates being late. And this was their anniversary. Their first one week anniversary and she's like three minutes late. She knocks on the door rapidly and holds her breath.

"Who is it?"

"Really, Bec? It's me" Chloe says, hopefully this didn't mean she was so late that Beca changed her mind about the date. But three - now four minutes late shouldn't be that big of a deal.

"Come in"

Chloe exhales with relief and turns the handle, and steps in to follow the opening door, until she sees the room and stops. The candles on a table in the middle of the room pull her gaze down to it, there was a white tablecloth over the top of the table and champagne flutes, actual _plates_ and real cutlery. It was like a restaurant table was brought into the room, then her eyes move up and find Beca, who was wearing the typical black pants and button down shirt combination that makes her smile. "Babe, you look like a waiter" Beca looks down at the outfit as Chloe moves into the room and closes the door "But a hot waiter"

"Yeah… I had a feeling I was gonna blow the outfit" Beca looks up with a pained embarrassment and Chloe approaches the brunette slowly, moving her arms up for a hug that gets interrupted by Beca's hand moving up with a flower, a lily. "I know this... " Beca shifts her weight onto the other leg and sighs "I know you like the romantic thing and I'm sorry for making fun of you last night. So…. this is my peace offering"

Chloe smiles down at the flower and takes it before moving her arms up and taking the brunette into a hug. "You're totally a closet romantic. The room looks amazing" she says quietly into the embrace.

"I'm not gonna lie, I had a little help" Beca says before moving back slowly. "So… technically Jesse's the closet romantic and I'm just… lame"

"Please don't do that, Becs" Chloe can already see Beca's pieces falling away, and her hand moves to the brunette's chest to take the black cross between her fingers. "You're romantic just for asking. And I really do appreciate what you do for me" Beca's silent nod was followed by a small smile, one that doesn't make her feel secure about the brunette's feelings at all.

Beca's hands move away from her slowly and they part from each other as the brunette starts moving across the room to the desk where bags were "So I, um.. I got some of that Thai stuff, you know that one that… you brought it over once back when.. I don't know if I got the right one"

"Maybe we can talk first" Chloe could notice Beca's nerves firing up, and she could see from her place in the middle of the room that her girlfriend's hands were shaking. Which was odd, because she thought that Beca was actually comfortable around her. "Am I putting too much pressure on you?"

"No, I am" Beca says quietly, leaning forward onto the shaking hands against the desk. "I want… this is supposed to be a good night and I feel like I've already fucked it"

"You haven't done anything wrong, why do you think you've ruined it?"

Beca's head hangs slightly and Chloe moves forward, sliding her hand across Beca's lower back. The brunette inhales deeply and stands up straight, looking over at her with a sad smile "I'm not good at the romantic thing, and you love the romantic thing and I just… I mean none of this was my idea. There's no…. you might as well just be dating him"

Chloe looks down at the flower and throws it onto the desk beside them "Beca, just because you didn't plan out every little thing doesn't mean that you didn't do this for me. You asked him for help, right?" Beca's small nod was enough to make her hand move up to push her fingers through Beca's hair "So you wanted to be romantic for me, and you _are_. And I would never date Jesse. You're too hot, I'd never be able to focus"

Beca huffs out a laugh and moves forward quickly, taking her into a tight hug that almost squeezes the life out of her. "I'm sorry. I wanted this to be good"

"It's _amazing_. You're amazing. Now impress me with your waitressing skills" Chloe smiles as Beca moves away from their embrace and kisses her cheek lightly.

"Okay. Park your ass" Beca says with a smirk, until Chloe shows her unimpressed expression "Sorry…. take a seat?" Chloe shakes her head softly and turns around to the table. "You look beautiful" Beca says to her back while she pulls out the chair to sit down.

It wasn't as if Beca was doing it on purpose, sabotaging the date. Chloe was used to the comments finding their way in and reminding her that Beca always struggles with words. There was always a sexual comment that made everything uncomfortable and pushes a thought process into her head that things were going to come full circle for them and she'll end up even _more_ hurt.

"Seriously… you look beautiful" Beca says while moving across the room with a bowl and putting it onto the plate in front of her. "I know that… I don't really have complete control yet but… I'm trying"

"I know you are" Chloe says, giving Beca a smile that may not be completely genuine, but she was glad that Beca was getting there. And as far as she knows, there hasn't been any indication that Beca had interest in anyone else.

Beca joined her at the table after getting the other bowl from the desk "Uh.. so… how was your day?"

Chloe raises her eyebrows at Beca's odd attempt at small talking her. "I woke up, Bree and I went on a walk, I went to class and then spent like… three hours choosing an outfit and thinking too much. How was yours?"

"Same" Beca looks down at the bowl and swallows nervously. And this is the time Chloe's supposed to jump in and take over the conversation, but she actually feels disappointed that Beca wasn't even really trying anymore. But she can't confront the brunette about it or she'll just send Beca further into the insecurity. "I saw this… I have an idea" Beca looks up, locking eyes with her "I saw this poster thing for this.. it's a club, a gay...club. And I was thinking like… maybe.. I dunno, we could check it out or something. I don't think anyone would… I mean why would anyone run to my father if they're there too, you know?"

"Are you sure you want to do that? It might be a big step, we haven't even really held hands in pub-"

"It is. I want to be able to be _out_ with you. I mean this is nice, it's like… my favourite thing to do to just sit in here and have you in my arms and stuff, but… I want us to be like a normal, happy couple. One that can go out and… I dunno"

"If you want to try it, we can, but if you're this nervous over us just having dinner together over a table in your room… I'm not sure you're going to even look at me in a club, whether it's gay or not" Chloe looks down at the bowl and frowns.

"I really did ruin this, didn't I?"

Chloe sighs loudly and looks up again "Beca, the only thing ruining it is your _need_ to ruin it. You always let yourself get in the way of happiness. You're never just…. with me. You're so alert all the time to what you're doing that you just… you say things, really… hurtful things to yourself, and then me"

"I didn't… I don't-"

"You may not mean to, but you do. You don't have a filter, and I get that, most of the time it's okay, but...when you're like this, it's just this bottomless pit. You fall deeper into yourself and you never get to just… enjoy me. You never let yourself enjoy being with me" Chloe looks away at the wall and stands up slowly.

"Wait, please. Don't go. I'll stop talking" Beca gets up quickly, moving around the table to hold onto her hips.

"Then you'll just _think_ these things. Just… close your eyes"

"What?"

Chloe raises her eyebrows in an annoyed impatience until Beca gets the hint. "Just don't think, okay? Just… breathe"

"I can't really promise that I won't think, I mean…" Beca's voice trails off when her hands start moving up the brunette's arms slowly. "What are y-"

"Stop talking, just feel" Chloe's fingertips make it to Beca's neck when she sees her girlfriend's nervous swallow. Then her hands stop against the neck as she leans closer and brushes her lips over Beca's lightly. The breath hitting her lips grew heavier over the next few moments of keeping the touch barely against each other's mouths. Then she kisses Beca, just once and only lingers for a moment before moving back and opening her eyes. "I love _you_ , Beca. This whole time has only been you"

Beca exhales loudly and then she's met with the dark blue stare. "I love you too" Beca _seemed_ settled. But she'll find out soon enough when their date continues.

And it only took a few minutes to find out that her technique worked. Beca's brain switched off and there was an actual presence in the room other than her own for the first time. A presence that wasn't clouded by nerves, one that allowed Beca to smile and laugh and just _be_. And for the first time, Beca really gave in to her and actually had fun with her for longer than twenty minutes. She didn't see another esteem issue until they were getting ready for bed and Beca kept her shirt on.

And Chloe knew exactly why the shirt was staying on, she didn't raise a question about it, but it did make her feel horrible to know that Beca didn't feel comfortable letting her see what she's already seen a few times.

They had a deal between them where Chloe would stay up until 1:30am and Beca would sleep early, or at least get into the bed with her early. Just so they were together in the bed until Chloe would fall asleep, then Beca could get up and mix if the need was there. And she didn't know whether Beca did or not, but she was never woken up by Beca getting up from the bed. So she convinced herself that Beca never got up, just because there was a safety with her that Beca didn't want to move away from. That's what she _wanted_ though.


	19. Chapter 19

Chloe had drifted off at some point, leaving her to sit up and look over the redhead's body to find her girlfriend fast asleep. Beca leans down until her lips connect with the redhead's cheek and holds for a few moments before moving up. Her eyes fall to object in front of Chloe's chest, and it's a ring. _Her_ ring. Around a chain attached to Chloe.

She had no idea how long the redhead had been wearing it, or whether it was just because of the date, but Chloe _is_ wearing it. Her arm moves up and reaches over the redhead to pick up the ring and look at it, inspecting it like it was a discovered artifact.

Part of her did believe that Chloe could fall in love with her, and there has been a constant nagging at her that it wasn't real, that it could never be real. But the moments where Chloe's feelings blare into her eyes like neon signs are the moments that are the most subtle or unnoticed.

Chloe had a smile that was _only_ directed at her. It was a wide, toothy smile that lights up everything on the redhead's face and really makes her heart fill with sunshine or whatever the correct lovey term is. Every time she watches Chloe talking to other people, her girlfriend's smile was only halfway to her smile. No one ever got her smile.

And then there were the moments where Chloe would purposely sit against her in any situation where it was allowed. And even though it was mostly just in her dorm room, or the redhead's dorm room, it still settled her nerves to know that Chloe _wanted_ to be that close all the time.

And the ring. Something Beca thought Chloe threw away, or just wasn't interested in wearing again. She hadn't seen or even talked about the ring ever since Chloe left her. So it was slightly awkward to stare down at its return and wonder how it got here, or if it was here all along and she just missed it because she was too stupid to look down and follow the chain. Not that it really mattered anyway, whether the ring was there before or not, Chloe was still in a place where it was going to take time. And now she has Chloe back again and the ring is here with them. Maybe she really had Chloe all along.

Beca couldn't get out of the bed after seeing that, she just draped her arm over Chloe's side and held onto the redhead's stomach until she fell asleep with a reassured smile. Chloe's love kicked her happiness up every day, and soon she'll be complete for her girlfriend. She'll be _perfect_ for Chloe. 

* * *

Beca came up with a plan, her _own_ plan. She purposely woke up early and snuck out of the room, hoping that she'd get back before Chloe woke up. And she did. Beca was trying to be as quiet as she can as she moved everything off the table in the middle of the room and put everything onto the desk for her to set up, and she was just about to unpack the breakfast when she felt something hit her ass. When she spins around, she catches Chloe's leg moving back under the covers.

"Whatcha up to?" the redhead asks, staring up at her with a grin

"I got breakfast for you" Beca looks back at the table and grabs it with both of her hands so she can drag it backwards to the side of the bed and sit down on the edge.

"What'd you get me?"

"Open your mouth and find out" Beca says as she pops the lid off the foam container.

"It's been a long time since I've heard _that_ " Chloe's eyes were closed when Beca turned to give her disapproval, so she was slightly annoyed that the redhead got away with the comment.

"Yeah, well. I guess I'm about to disappoint you with the meat I'm putting into your mouth" Beca pulls off a piece of bacon fast enough to push it into Chloe's offended mouth opening.

Chloe was laughing softly and then she was met with the blue eyes opening to her stare. "Thanks baby, your meat is _super_ tasty"

"You're gross" Beca turns back to the container, hiding the smirk on her face from her girlfriend. Her jealousy was wiped from her in moments, which was a relief, especially after slightly ruining their date night.

"Gimme more"

"Sure you can take it?" Beca rips off another piece of bacon and turns to Chloe's sly grin.

"Oh, I think you'd be _very_ surprised at what I can take" And there's Beca's jealousy again, creeping in and completely irrational.

Beca throws the bacon into the container and pushes the table back to give her enough room to get up from behind it. "Great. Now I'm just thinking about you sucking some dude off"

"What? I thought.. we were having innuendo time, I wasn't talking about that. It was _your_ euphemism, Beca"

"Yeah. I'm well aware of that, believe me" Beca reaches up to rub the back of her head and pace over to the middle of the room with her back to the redhead so she can focus. And the worst part is that when she turned around after a minute, Chloe looked upset. Which made her feel like crap. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me"

"I know, that's why it makes me sad. You can't even joke with me without getting angry" Chloe starts getting up, which makes Beca look away because the redhead was only wearing one of her button down shirts and underwear. "Babe, you need to just… you need to think like.. what am _I_ thinking. Put yourself in my shoes before you say something horrible"

"I don't know how to do that" Beca looks down and moves her hand up to rub her forehead in frustration.

"Do it right now. Tell me what you think I'm feeling"

Her hand moves up, raking her fingers through her hair as she looks back at Chloe again, searching her girlfriend's face to find an answer "You're… worried that I'm slipping off the deep end again"

"Do you feel like you're slipping?" Chloe's worry was heightened slightly, and she could see Chloe's eyes watering.

So she shakes her head "I'm not. It's still just… when I think about you with someone else, it's hard"

"I'm not _with_ anyone else, and I really wish you would trust me, because I'm not the one who-" Chloe stops and turns away to look at the wall, and taking Beca's heart away with the gaze.

"Yeah" she says quietly, letting her eyes fall to the floor.

"I know that you're not doing anything again, Becs. But sometimes it's… I still remember"

"I get it. And I deserve it for the rest of time"

"Neither of us deserve it. And it doesn't happen all the time, it's just… when you get angry, I get worried because I know what happens when you lose control"

"I haven't _lost_ control though" Beca looks up again and Chloe's eyes return to her with a sad nod.

"But how long until you do? And what happens if you do? I believe in you Beca, but there's only a matter of time before you're really put to the test, and I _need_ to know if you're going to hurt me again"

"I'm not" Beca says quietly, which makes Chloe's eyes turn away. So Beca reaches up underneath the collar of her shirt that Chloe's wearing to pull at the chain until the ring hits her fingers. "My promise to you is that I will _never_ touch another person besides you"

Chloe looks down at the ring between her fingers and back up to her eyes, locking them in a stare.

"Trust me, Chloe. Just… trust me. My moods are crazy, I know. And I get jealous and insecure, but I'm… I can do it. And I know that I've said this before, but this time it's… I know for sure that you're the one that I wanna grow old with and die at a hundred, at the exact same time"

Chloe swallows visibly and a few moments pass before the redhead's soft voice enters the room "Don't hurt me. Because I'm all in now, and if you do, it'll… it'll really break my heart beyond repair"

"I swear to you that I'll be the best I can be. I'll be someone that you can really be proud of" Beca moves the ring back to drop it underneath the shirt, and then Chloe moves forward and kisses her cheek.

Chloe moves back after lingering for a few moments and connects their lips together before she even has time to avoid it, or at least prepare. They part momentarily and she releases a breath against Chloe's lips that catches when the redhead's lips return harder against hers and then there are hands moving over the sides of her head into her hair at the same time as Chloe's tongue hits her lips and prompts them to open.

The kiss was met with her quiet moan, which seems to kick Chloe into gear and move closer until their bodies were pressed against each other, and it wasn't close enough. Beca's hands move to the redhead's hips and pull at them until she had Chloe pressed hard against her.

Their heads tilt in opposite directions as the kiss becomes deeper, heavier. And Chloe's moaned exhale causes her hands to tighten around the shirt covering the redhead's skin under her hands. The heat in the room was rising rapidly and she knew she was losing control, it was just a matter of getting herself to stop.

Chloe's hips roll forward in an obvious hint that the redhead had also lost control, and Beca's hands move to the front of the shirt on Chloe, grabbing the buttoned up front and flinching just before she moves to rip it open. Stopping herself before she pulls. Then she turns her hands over and pushes her palms against Chloe's stomach to move them both apart and break the kiss into their uncontrolled panting.

"That was…. I was.. supposed to be.. romantic" Chloe says between breaths, turning away from her to look at something else.

Beca shoves her hands deeply into her pockets and stares at Chloe's back. "I know"

"So…. stick with the cheek kisses still"

Beca raises an eyebrow at the redhead's back "Me? _You_ kissed me that time, and the time before that, and the time before _that_."

"Pff, shush. I'm talking to us both okay?"

"So… can you turn around now?" Beca says, keeping her hands inside of her pockets just in case.

"I really can't. I think you need to let me borrow some pants or something"

Beca huffs as she smiles, figuring she had a really good effect on her girlfriend. "If you wanted to get into my pa-"

"Please don't. I'm seriously hot right now and I can't talk about sex, jokes or not"

Beca swallows hard and nods at the back of Chloe before turning around to the set of drawers and taking out the first pair of jeans she finds then returns and holds them over Chloe's shoulder, which ends in the redhead grabbing them quickly and putting them on. "Sorry that I.."

"It isn't your fault. I'm just frustrated"

"Well I should know better than t-"

"Beca, please. We _have_ to talk about something else"

Beca looks down when she hears the zipper on the jeans and she moves across the room to her desk. "Well… I have group tonight. So, that's something we can talk about"

"You want to talk about group? You never talk about it" Chloe looks up from the jeans and turns toward her.

"I mean… I don't… _not_ talk about it, I just… it isn't interesting, I guess" Beca leans back against the desk, feeling the edge pressing into her backside as she watches Chloe's face drop. "We just…. talk about things that bother us"

"So what's bothering you?"

Beca shrugs and looks away at the wall before she sighs loudly "It's the obvious stuff. Self esteem, jealousy, possession over you, waiting for my father to show up and ruin us, expecting another round of pain"

"Do you _have_ to see him?"

"He's my father, Chloe"

"Yeah, only he doesn't act like it" Chloe sighs loudly after Beca looks down at the floor. "I'm sorry, I know that this is difficult for you, but I just hate that you go near him"

"I know you do" Beca says quietly. It was easy for Chloe to tell her to stay away, and the idea of it is a good one. But her father is really the only person who raised her, obligation or not. He was a constant in her life.

"Thanks"

"For?" Beca looks up again, catching those bright blue eyes in a stare

"Talking about your father and getting rid of _all_ desire to move across the room"

Beca huffs a laugh and nods "You're welcome"

* * *

Beca spent the next few days convinced that she almost lost Chloe somehow, even though the redhead spent almost every moment with her unless they were in class, or she was at Church. Her mind settled back down every time Chloe's hyperactive side would blow up and end up making her laugh at her girlfriend's dorky side.

She didn't expect to feel comfortable like this so quickly, she thought Chloe would walk away as soon as it became obvious that she still had trouble with herself, and she did have to prove that she was trustworthy a few times, just when her moods would sway to a negative side. It wasn't weird for her to not lash out in extreme ways anymore.

She was becoming a better person thanks to her girlfriend.

Chloe settled her, and somehow unsettled her at the same time. The only times she would really get jealous is by her own stupid joke and thoughts, and Chloe would yank her back into reality and put her in her place. Which was a good thing, and slightly worrying that she was handing over that kind of power.

And when she talked about that at group, it was apparently a really good step that she took to hand it over. That means she's given herself to Chloe and trusted the redhead with her whole self. And _that_ is a scary thought. But after their first week date went slightly awkward, she wanted the second week to be better. So she set up another table and didn't talk at all about her self-esteem. It was all about Chloe, and how beautiful and perfect she was. Which Chloe got sick of after about three minutes and rejected her compliments through a wide smile.

And there was no loss of control, she didn't lose control of her emotions, or her desire. Even when they actually kissed. On the mouth. Chloe grinned at her when she kept her hands in check and didn't start pushing the moment further and kissed her again to test her limits, which she passed with flying colors.

And then they were okay to start kissing more often. Only if they were standing and far from walls or beds. She wasn't quite ready for any positions that could get her into trouble. And the more weeks that passed, the happier she felt. And the most she really handed herself over to Chloe.

And the best part is that she hadn't heard from her father in five weeks. It was the normal length of time after a bad round of beating, the worst one was exactly 5 weeks, so as soon as she hit the day, she started expecting his calls, which haven't come yet, but it wouldn't be long.

Beca saw Katie a few times, her sister was attending the same church and they ended up talking. And she'd have to talk about Chloe, but as if it was Jesse. Because the closet is an annoying place like that. Jesse was the perfect boyfriend, they were amazing together, they had some problems earlier and they're strong now. All while she imagined Chloe in her mind.

She wasn't exactly sure if Chloe had even noticed that she had given herself to her girlfriend, or at what moment she even noticed that she _had_ given herself. But the loss of her concern was freeing, Chloe had all of the control, and didn't even act like it was a bother. There was no weight on the redhead's shoulders, at least it wasn't showing. But Beca should have expected that to happen, Chloe was strong. Beca was never that strong, she couldn't see someone laughing near her and think it was nothing, she would automatically assume they were laughing at her. But Chloe would just smile at other people enjoying life and go on living.

And Beca was slowly turning into one of those people. Chloe made her feel safe, secure, even. The security in her relationship made her think that she could tackle any situation head on and live through it. And she wasn't scared anymore, except when it came to being found out.

The only thing holding her back was her fear of her father finding them out somehow and breaking them apart, which could only be done by something seriously horrible. And the only thing that could truly keep her from Chloe was death at this point. They _belong_ together, and they will be together as long as they're both alive.

* * *

Beca was actually starting to worry when the eighth week rolled by and she hadn't heard from her father, and it was slightly settled when she called Katie to ask if he was actually still alive. Which he was. And that was good enough for her, at least he wasn't reaching out, because the more quiet he was, the happier Beca could be with Chloe.

Tonight was the night Chloe had been working her up to, the redhead set a date for them to go out to the club that Beca had been looking up a lot. And Chloe must have figured out that she was a little too interested in being _out_ with her girlfriend. So the date was set a couple of weeks ago, and if Beca had any insecurities about it, it would be cancelled.

And she didn't. All she wanted to do was be able to be somewhere with Chloe and hold hands and hug. Every thing that she gets to do in private, she'll get to do in this place.

Chloe was sitting on her bed and chuckling at her nervous behaviour. She didn't exactly know what to wear to a gay club, which made the redhead laugh and say "Clothes, generally"

:"Well I know that but…. I dunno, should I like...wear some kind of rainbow thing? Because I don't have anything…. _gay_ "

"Baby, you have more plaid shirts than every lesbian in the world. Wear the purpley one I bought you, it's totally hot on you"

Beca snorts and reaches into the closet to take the shirt off the hanger and pull it on over her grey tank top, then she looks over at Chloe and raises her arms up, letting them drop back down "How do I look?"

Chloe leans back slightly and moves up off the bed to approach her and grab onto the front of the shirt "You look really kissable" Beca leans in before giving her girlfriend the chance and presses their lips together. Which typically gets interrupted by a knock at the door.

Beca groans and tilts her head back in annoyance before moving away from Chloe to pull the door open and find Aubrey and Stacie. It was a lot less awkward between them after Aubrey gave her that talk. The one where her life was basically threatened if she ever considers going near the brunette like that again. And then it all just...fell away. Although she still doesn't have actual conversations with the brunette. They just kind of acknowledge each other with a hello or a nod and then move on with their girlfriends. So it'll be an interesting night to go out with them again. The only other time was at the dog show, and that was before everyone knew that Aubrey knew.

* * *

Beca has never been in a gay club. She's been to a straight club.. if you could call it that, girls were always making out with each other at those anyway. And she did pick up girls there a few times, this was something else. Girls were _only_ with girls. And then she'd see guys making out. And that was something she hadn't actually seen at all in person. TV, sure, but in person? No.

They found a space at a table near the bar and Beca was watching everything in the club unfold, the large group of dancing people, the people around her talking, people at the bar. Everyone was different, and a lot of them didn't even _look_ gay. And then she found her girlfriend's grin, and Chloe was staring at her with this grin. "What?" she says, finding her voice being drowned out by the loud music.

Chloe moves in close to her ear and speaks loud enough for her to hear it, and it sparks a fire inside of her at the close distance to her ear, she could feel Chloe's breath against her "You look like a virgin"

Beca laughs through her growing desire and turns her head slightly to press her lips against Chloe's ear to give her girlfriend the same treatment "Are you going to teach me everything you know?"

Chloe leans back with the grin still intact and winks at her before grabbing her hand and pulling her away from the table. Dancing is and never has been her strong suit, and when they wound up at the dance floor, she becomes awkward instantly. Her stiffness was noticed quickly by her girlfriend, who moves her hands up until they're around Chloe's neck. And then Chloe's hands drop to her hips and snake around her back until they're standing in an embrace on the dance floor.

Which would have looked slightly odd considering the music playing was fast paced and thumping loudly with bass. Chloe's lip moves back into a bit that makes Beca slightly more nervous and she feels a movement of Chloe's hips starting to move, which causes her to look down at the slow grinding session beginning.

Beca swallows the growing lump in her throat and looks back up into Chloe's darkening eyes, and the redhead must notice her not running and pushes her further into the test by leaning closer to her. Beca grunts, which thankfully gets lost in the music, when Chloe's hips start moving faster, catching up to the beat of the music. It wasn't long before Beca's eyes close, which ends the grinding and makes her open them again to find Chloe turning away from her and making her mouth open in protest.

Chloe's back presses against her after a second, and the hand reaching back to the side of her face tells her that her girlfriend never actually planned on leaving. Beca sighs against Chloe's shoulders and drops her hands to Chloe's sides, moving them forward until they press against the toned stomach. The redhead's dancing hips were moving faster, and Beca didn't really know which way was up, so she wasn't moving at all. All she could do was breathe and try to process all of the movement against her body.

The position lasted for minutes before Chloe's front returned to her in a heated kiss that surprised Beca and made her pull back and look around, just to remind herself that the place they were in is a safe one. When her eyes return, Chloe's expression changed to concern, so she leaned in slowly to catch the lips again, but the heated moment was gone and their kiss becomes different, slower.

Chloe moves back after a moment and smiles softly, which gets returned by her own. And Chloe's new control was never going to end in Beca pushing herself over that line. Their moments were safe from her now. She got through _grinding_ without shoving Chloe all the way to the bathroom to have her way with her girlfriend.

Chloe moves closer again, keeping their bodies apart this time and spins around when she reaches up to dance around her and come around the other side with a smile and grab Beca's hand to bring it up in the air and make Beca spin around on the spot. And Beca lets herself become Chloe's marionette in a really awkward way until Chloe's confidence lets her thoughts drop away and find some sort of beat, which basically means she looks like she's doing the robot but on speed.

And Chloe thinks she's joking. Which is fine, it isn't as if she needed an ego in dancing. But she feigned offense anyway and pretended to move away, which caused Chloe to grab her from behind and pull her back again so she can go back into her awkward dance moves for the redhead.


	20. Chapter 20

Chloe was on a high, she never thought she'd _ever_ see Beca being so carefree and just… perfect. Beca was perfect tonight. Her dopey dance moves, and even conversing with Aubrey and Stacie for _ages_. It was the best night ever. And Beca was totally to thank for that, the brunette had somehow completely settled down with her. Like completely. Beca went from insecure to letting go basically right after their first week anniversary date. Which was totally insane, but she wasn't about to argue with Beca being comfortable with her, and at first she thought it was all an act, but it _wasn't_.

Chloe was designated driver, not that Beca had anything to drink, but it was highly doubtful Aubrey would let Beca drive the car. Even though the blonde would really not notice anyway, the girls in the back were _really_ going at it. And when she glanced over at Beca, all she found was the brunette smiling back at her, without any sexual frustration even with all of the moaning going on in the back.

If she spends time to think about things, this would be one of the most awkward situations in the world. But she was past thinking about Beca and Stacie. Beca was _hers_ now. All hers. And judging by the sound of the backseat, Stacie was definitely Aubrey's.

Which continued even after the car stopped. "Bree… Bree!"

"What Chloe!" Aubrey says, turning around to face her and panting heavily. Chloe hands over the keys through the middle of the seats and shakes her head with a smile. "Thanks!" Aubrey's voice was annoyed and hilarious, and Chloe giggled as she got out of the car and saw Beca standing outside waiting for her.

"They are _so_ gonna get in trouble if they get caught by security" Chloe says as she moves around the car to Beca's side and taking the brunette's hand, which moves away from her almost right away and make her look over in question until she remembered _where_ they are. "Oh, god. Sorry" Chloe grimaces as she scans the area, and with it being so late at night, there wasn't anyone around.

"It's fine, we did get a little too comfortable in our bubble" Beca says with a small smile as they walk side by side. "I had...a lot of fun tonight, which is… new"

" _Well_. I think we should make it a weekly thing. I wanna see you get dorky all the time"

"I was no such thing. My dance moves are just too sexy for you to handle. I couldn't put that on you" Beca's smile turns into a sly grin that really makes her want to jump on top of the girl.

"I bet"

Beca chuckles softly and a comfortable silence falls over them as they walk and Chloe's constant hidden glances weren't as discreet as she thought they were. Beca's knowing smile grew wider every time she would look and then raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"I think we should talk about something" Chloe chews at her lip as they enter the dorm building and when her next glance lands on Beca, the smile was gone and she just found nerves. "Oh, baby no. It's not a bad thing"

"Oh, thank fuck" Beca lets out a long exhale, which she didn't even realise the brunette was holding onto.

"Sorry. I just think we should… talk about.. taking this a little… further"

"I'm not following..." Beca says slowly as they approach the door.

Chloe decides the best approach is just to be upfront and put it all out there, delicately… which means she leans in to Beca's ear and whispers "I want to have sex"

She didn't quite expect Beca to inhale so sharply it caused the brunette to start choking on air. Chloe reaches around to Beca's back and starts patting her palm against it, smiling apologetically while Beca coughs over the next minute. "Jesus fuck, Chloe. A warning would have been nice"

"Sorry, baby. I did try a subtle approach, but you're kind of dense"

"Wow, that really puts me in the mood" Beca raises an eyebrow in a completely unimpressed look and turns to the door to unlock it and open it. "I think we should _talk_ about this"

Chloe huffs as she follows Beca into the room and closes it behind her "Are you not ready?"

"Are you?" Beca's awkward glance darts around the room to avoid her stare and now she's feeling insecure about it.

"We don't… have to. I mean if you're not ready" Chloe shifts her weight onto her other leg and looks away to chew at her lip.

"If you're ready, I'm ready"

Her gaze turns down to the floor before it bounces up into Beca's eyes "So… if I was to.." Chloe moves the few steps closer until their bodies were almost touching and tilts her head to hover her lips in front of Beca's "Just… tell me if you get uncomfortable" she whispers

Beca nods slightly and whispers back against her lips "Ditto"

Chloe smiles widely at Beca's simple word and closes the space between them and parts her lips almost immediately with Beca following suit and colliding their tongues into a slow massaging dance that rolls on for the next minute until Chloe pulls away with a hard swallow to check Beca and make sure it was all going well.

And Beca looked calm and collected until the nervous smile appeared and left almost just as quick. Chloe moves her hands up to Beca's upper chest and pushes them underneath the shirt to push it off the brunette's shoulders, watching her girlfriend closely until she heard the shirt hit the floor and her gaze moves to the bottom of Beca's tank top.

This was only difficult because Beca _still_ hadn't really become comfortable enough to be topless around her yet. "Can I.."

"Yeah" Beca whispers, and Chloe's eyes search the face in front of her before she let her hands grab hold of the material and start lifting, right past the point where Beca's arms move up to allow it to come off completely.

Chloe exhales before moving forward quickly and capturing Beca's lips into another kiss that deepens into a tongue battle. After a few moments of holding the back of Beca's head with her hands, she drops one to Beca's chest and presses her palm against the cup of the black bra the brunette's wearing. A deep groan escapes her girlfriend's throat and sends a tingling heat right into her center, making her hips roll forward in an attempt to gain more of the feeling.

Beca's hands push up her back with a pressure that leaves her skin burning as the touch moves up until it hits the back of her dress, then she feels the cold air hitting her back when the zipper moves down. The kiss breaks with a heavy sigh from Beca as the brunette turns down to kiss at her neck.

The moan that flies out of her throat was louder than she thought it was going to be and then the shoulder straps get pulled at by the brunette and pushed down her arms until the dress falls to the floor. Beca sends her backwards until her back was pressed against the wall and her girlfriend was _right_ against her. And normally this would be a _great_ position for her, but it isn't first time position. Her hands push against Beca's shoulders to stop the mouth assault on her neck and bring Beca back down a few levels. "Slow, okay?"

"Sorry.. sorry" Beca starts moving back from her, so she follows forward and holds her hand against Beca's chest until the brunette ends up sitting on the bed staring up at her with a quiet curiosity.

"Lay down?" Chloe asks quietly, and Beca nods before moving onto the bed and laying down onto it. And this is _also_ something that would be good for any other time, Beca taking her directions like that is super sexy. Chloe bites at her lip and climbs onto the bed to straddle her girlfriend and look down at the brunette beneath her "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yep. Just… you know. Not handsy" Beca holds up both hands and drops them back beside Chloe's knees.

Chloe smiles softly and moves her hands onto Beca's stomach, taking them down slowly until they hit the button of Beca's jeans. "Can I take these off?" Beca inhales deeply and nods at her, so she pops the button through the hole and moves up onto her knees to push the zip down,

Beca raises up from the bed to push the top of the jeans off and Chloe huffs a laugh when she notices the position is going to prevent them from getting the jeans onto the floor, so she brings her leg over and sits on the mattress to watch Beca sitting up and pulling the jeans off. "Should…. do y.. the underwear?"

Chloe shakes her head and Beca lays back again, leaving the underwear in place. She moves back onto all fours and stays over Beca for a moment before lowering herself back into a straddling position. And Beca's eyes turn up to the ceiling with a strained exhale. "Are you okay?"

"You're like…. hot. I don't… I don't know how long I'll be able to control myself"

"I'll control you, baby. Don't worry" Chloe leans down slowly and kisses Beca lightly, which ends in the brunette's hand swinging up and pulling the back of her head down to initiate a heated kiss. Her hand clings to the pillow underneath Beca's head to keep herself controlled and not grind. Except the moan that comes from her seems to throw Beca out of control and move up to roll them over. Chloe ended up on her back before she had time to react and then her wrists get pinned. "Be-" Beca's tongue entered her mouth before she could try and bring the moment back.

Beca had found a position between Chloe's legs so that the thrust upward rubs against her and causes the kiss to break when her head pushes back into the pillow with a moan that could possibly wake the neighbours. "I really.. let me touch you"

"Becs, just.. wait" Chloe's hands move to the brunette's shoulders and the grunt from Beca breaks the heat for another minute. "Just.. I don't want this to be hard and fast" she says as she regains her senses and looks up at her girlfriend.

"I know.. maybe we should just.. we can wait" Beca goes to move back, and Chloe's legs wrap around the brunette's waist and lock around each other, which she smiles up at Beca for.

"Just… slow down. I want you. I just want you _slow_. You can have me fast any time after this, I just… I really need this to be slow" Chloe moves her hands to Beca's cheeks and strokes them with her thumbs.

"Slow. Got it" Beca's hand moves hesitantly toward her stomach and presses down, then the dark blue eyes meet her gaze again and wait for a moment before looking back down at her stomach. Another moment passes before the hand starts travelling upward, and Chloe's breath catches in her throat when the fingers hit her bra and start pushing underneath it and onto her breast.

Chloe's breathing becomes more rapid when Beca's fingertip comes into contact with her erect nipple and she continues to lose control of her lungs when Beca's palm hits the hardened spot in a slow rub. Her cheeks were burning red and she could feel Beca's eyes blazing into her closed eyelids. "Bec" her whispers harshly, causing Beca's hand to stop moving. "Take it off"

There's a good five seconds before she feels the hand exiting her bra and she arches her back to allow the brunette access to the clasp until she feels the bra become loose. She opens her eyes to see Beca pulling it off and dropping it off the side of the bed. Their stare returned with a tension that was ridiculously heavy. Then Chloe nods and Beca's hand returns to her chest.

A lighter moan escapes her body and she knows that as soon as her hips move, she's going to push Beca into an uncontrolled state again, so her hand clings to the sheet beneath her to keep her anchored in the moment. And it was a _good_ moment. Beca leans down again, kissing her lightly and moving back to hover over her lips.

"Can… can I.. do something?" Beca says quietly, moving back to look down at her confused stare. Chloe takes a chance on Beca and nods. And after another quick kiss, Beca's moving down slightly, forcing Chloe's legs to unwrap from around the brunette.

And then both of her hands have to grasp at the sheets. Beca's mouth found her other breast and started kissing at the sensitive spot, and thankfully Beca's body was further from her and allowed her hips to roll upward in reaction to the feeling hitting her center. "Oh god.. that's.. that's good"

Chloe's gasp sounds out into the room when the tongue comes into contact with her nipple and now _she's_ the one losing control. Her hand moves to the back of Beca's shoulder with a light smack and holds the brunette in place against her breast and when Beca's intensity _doesn't_ grow. She gets annoyed and looks down to Beca smirking up at her. "Slow down… _babe_."

"I hate you" Chloe says with a strained voice as she lets her head drop back onto the pillow. "Please just… I could use a little.. more"

Beca moves back up over her and Chloe turns when Beca's arm moves beside her head to kiss the forearm "What do you need?" Beca asks with a stare that sends Chloe's hand up to the back of Beca's neck and pulls her down into a kiss, a kiss that sends her hips up again, this time hitting Beca's body and grinding into her. Beca breaks the kiss with a hard exhale and moves a hand down to push her hips against the mattress "Just… "

"Touch me. Please, I need you to touch me. I need you _inside_ of me" Chloe keeps her hand firm against the back of Beca's neck and watches the hesitation fading away from the face above her. Then Beca moves back onto her knees and there's a split second of worry before the brunette grabs hold of her underwear and looks back for a confirming nod from her.

Chloe raises her hips off the bed and feels the underwear moving down, sending goosebumps over her skin, along with her self conscious nerves from being naked for Beca. Completely naked. Physically and mentally.

Beca returned to hover above her and stare down, and the moment between them brings Chloe's lip between her teeth, letting it pop back into place when the brunette leans down into a slowly kiss with a groan when their tongues meet. Her hand moves up to Beca's ribcage and slides around to unclasp the bra around the brunette, smirking into the kiss when it falls forward against her neck due to the positioning of Beca's arms.

Beca moves up after she smirks and raises an eyebrow before moving one arm up at a time to throw the bra across the room and return the kiss while laying down against Chloe's body and making her next moan a loud one against Beca's tongue, which gets Beca's body moving up slightly to make her even more aware that the only thing between them now was Beca's underwear. Which she'll work on when she's _less_ focused on feeling Beca's skin against hers.

Chloe almost follows Beca's lips up when the brunette moves away from their kiss and leans down into her neck to start a tongue and kiss assault that only leaves her more frustrated "Bec, please. Just.." Chloe higher pitch moan escapes when Beca's painful sucking hits her neck in a roughness that sends Beca's hips grinding into her. "Shit"

Beca's heavy breaths hit her neck as the sucking becomes more of a painful experience, especially when Beca's teeth graze her skin to leave a mark that she'll surely spend ages trying to cover up. Beca's moves up from her neck and kisses her harder this time then breaks away before she really gets a chance to get into it.

Her eyes open to Beca looking down between them and a moment later the dark eyes return to her gaze. Beca's tiny smirk was followed by a hand sliding down her stomach incredibly slow, causing her brain to fry and leaving her staring up and blinking until the hand reaches its destination and makes her eyelids close so she can focus on the light rubbing against her.

"Look at me" She hears Beca whisper, and when she opens her eyes again and their stare solidifies the intensity of the moment, a rush of heat rushes over her body and sends it deep into her core. "I love you"

Chloe's hands move to Beca's cheeks and holds the stare through her next moan until she can speak again "I love you". Beca's shoulder dips slightly and her hands move to Beca's shoulders to keep her in the position against her entrance. "Bec, please"

"Okay" Beca whispers and slowly enters her with a single finger, and judging by the heavy exhale and easy entrance, she was a little more than ready for Beca. "Jesus" she hears from above her after her eyes for just a moment to feel Beca inside of her, when she opens them again, the brunette's face was starting to go red. "I'm.. I'm gonna add another, okay?" Chloe nods up at her and inhales sharply, pushing her head backward into the pillow when the second finger moves into her with a slight pain that only lasts a second before it moves in and out with ease.

"Oh god" Chloe's hands drop to the bed again, bunching up the sheets in her fists as she lets her hips slowly rock upward against the moving fingers inside of her. And staring up at Beca seemed to make the moment somehow hotter, knowing that the brunette was enjoying this almost as much as she was. A louder moan escapes her after a few minutes when the fingers inside of her curl and start urging her closer to her climax.

Each moan from her seems to send Beca's fingers into a faster pace, forcing her hips to start moving in rapid thrusts until she feels herself on the verge. "Bec… I'm like… I'm gonna. Oh god!" Chloe's mouth opens wider as her head pushes back into the pillow again with an arched back. Her silent moan was soon joined by an actual moan escaping with her breath and then she falls back against the bed in a panting heap after the explosive orgasm rips through her body like an earthquake.

"Shit" She hadn't noticed Beca had whispered the word harshly at first, not until she looked up and found the brunette gone. And when she turns her head to look up at the desk, she finds Beca holding tissues and leaning against the chair looking back at her over the tissues.

"Be.." When Chloe starts to move up on the bed, she looks down and finds the spots of blood on the bed, and then on her shoulder and chest. "Oh my god, did I hit you? What.. why are you bleeding?" Chloe starts shifting off the bed and hears Beca's chuckle from underneath the tissues.

"It's just a nose bleed, you didn't hit me. I just… well to be honest, I didn't wanna stop, so… you might need to clean off your… your neck and stuff. I am...really sorry though, I didn't wanna stop… it was just too fucking hot, but I also didn't wanna ruin it for you"

Chloe reaches up to the side of her neck and looks down at her hand to find the red liquid coating her fingertips, then she pulls out some of the tissues and wipes at her neck, smiling slightly at Beca's heartfelt apology as if the brunette had any control over the blood. "Baby, it's fine" she says as she tries to blindly wipe off Beca's blood from herself. "Is it gone?"

"There's just a bit on your shoulder" Beca says, smiling from underneath the tissues at her. "You're kinda hot when you're covered in blood"

"I'm not _covered_ in blood, thank god. I'm not a weirdo like you" Chloe looks down at her shoulder and wipes at it with the tissue, then throws the tissues into the trash and moves forward to inspect Beca's nose by pulling the brunette's hand and bloody tissues away then replacing them against Beca's nose. "It's still bleeding"

"Yeah.. maybe you can just… I dunno, sit on my lap and I'll.." Beca moves her hand down and turns it up to raise two fingers. Which only gets a smack to the shoulder by Chloe. "Ow, jesus. I'm already bleeding"

"Don't be so gross then!" Chloe huffs and spins around to hide her smile so Beca doesn't think _that_ kind of vulgarity is okay.

Beca's deep laughed chuckle crosses the space between them and keeps her back turned. "It isn't gross to me, you should see you when you cu-"

"I will smack you again" Chloe knew that if she turned around, Beca would definitely never stop. Although something was telling her that her girlfriend didn't even plan on stopping.

"I'm just saying. I need to see that like a thousand times more"

"You're not going to if you're bleeding at the time" Chloe's arms move up to cross over her chest, which is still naked.

"I think it stopped" Beca says, prompting Chloe to turn around and look at the brunette dabbing at the area and looking at the tissue again. "Yeah. Nice. Let's go" Beca gets up and starts moving over to the bed after throwing the tissues into the trash and completely ignoring her look.

"Babe, aren't nose bleeds like.. a bad sign?" Chloe stays in the middle of the room and stares over at Beca as if the brunette is insane for thinking she can have sex with Beca when there's blood smeared over the brunette's upper lip area.

"No? Come on, it's just a random act of violence. I bet God was thinking _Damn, these two are too hot together, I better put an end to this_. And then nosebleed. Come on" Beca holds a hand out to her in a kneeling position on the bed. And it's _way_ too tempting.

"Do you have any water?" Chloe turns to the table against the wall where four bottles of water stand and she moves over to pick one up and unscrew the lid as she walks to the desk. After she tips water onto a bunch of tissues, she moves to the bed and wipes Beca's smirking face until the last remnants of the blood smears are wiped away.

"Thanks" Beca leans forward and starts kissing the middle of her chest, moving up slowly while Chloe tries to turn slightly and look at the trash can before throwing the wet tissues at it, and she has no idea if it went into the trash because Beca's hands grab at her hips and pull her down onto the bed and a few rolls of their bodies ends with Beca on top of her again and staring down with that smirk.

"Bec" Chloe opens her mouth and holds back when she sees Beca leaning down slowly before nuzzling into her neck with kissing. "I want… to touch you" Then the kissing stops and Chloe bites her lip.

"Uh… okay"

"Can I?" Chloe waits for a moment until she feels a hand against hers, leading it up between Beca's legs. As soon as her fingers come into contact with the material covering Beca, the heat was radiating off the brunette, and part of her wants to spend the time to take the underwear off, but most of her needs to touch Beca.

Beca's head hangs down until the brunette's forehead was against her shoulder, and each breath against her chest was getting her more desperate to be underneath the material. Her fingers rub at Beca for only a few moments before she gives in and moves her hand up to push underneath and find Beca's incredibly wet entrance, and giving her girlfriend the same treatment she got, she slides a finger inside of the heated center, getting an immediate response from Beca's hips moving down against her hand. "Fuck" she hears whispered against her chest as Beca's hips rock slowly.

After a moment of moving into Beca with ease, a second finger joins at Beca's entrance and starts moving, entering her now still girlfriend. She didn't quite expect the first time that she's actually done this to another girl to go quite so well, especially when Beca started to moan, she hadn't thought of Beca as a moaner. So when it fell from Beca's mouth, the heat wave hit her like she just fell into the sun.

Her slow moving fingers picked up pace after a short time and Beca was joining her hand with a fast moving hip thrust, riding Chloe's fingers and being a lot louder than she _ever_ expected, and it was one of the hottest turn ons that she's encountered. To hear Beca's moans grow more and more desperate until her girlfriend was right on the edge and toppling over into an orgasm that tightens the brunette around her fingers and causes her to sweat from being so heated.

Chloe hadn't exactly felt confident that she could bring Beca to an orgasm, not like the one Beca can produce. She expected herself to fumble around in there and need Beca's guidance, but maybe the fact Beca was on top and guiding herself made it easier to make the brunette orgasm.

"Fuck, dude" Beca was panting heavily and rode out the orgasm until she was left still and trying to catch her breath above Chloe. "Jesus."

Chloe smiles proudly at herself for being able to bring Beca to an orgasm and she moves her hand out of the underwear. "Please don't start praying right now, baby"

Beca laughs softly and groans while moving up. And Chloe's gasp makes the brunette's eyebrows furrow in reaction. She had to move up quickly on the bed and grab the tissues from the desk to start shoving a bunch against Beca's bleeding nose. "Gentle, Chloe, shit. You don't wanna break my nose"

"I'm sorry, but you're bleeding!" Chloe glances down at her shoulder and picks up more tissues to start wiping the new blood on her shoulder off again. "This is ridiculous, I can't have sex with you until you do something"

"I think it's just the heat" Beca moves back to kneel up and hold the tissues, and Chloe sighs loudly as she wipes. "Sorry" Beca's voice changes to a slightly sadder tone and she looks up at Beca.

"No, it's okay… I just.. I didn't think _this_ is how our first time would go. The last thing I expected was to have you bleeding every time one of us…"

"Cums?"

" _Finishes._ " Chloe sends a narrow eyed glare at Beca before she moves up off the bed to throw the tissues into the trash. And if they keep going, it'll end up full of them. "Maybe we can just… we'll stop for tonight and take you to the doctor in the morning"

"Chloe, it _really_ isn't a big deal. I can just turn on the air conditioner"

"Baby, you're bleeding every time. I'm not having sex with you until you're better" Chloe can't resist smiling when Beca's groan and eye roll turns the brunette away from her. "Sorry Becs, but I'm not going to be covered in blood just so we can get off"

"I'll just lean to the side then" Beca smirks from behind the tissues and looks back at her.

" _Or_ you covered in it"

"I don't know why God hates me so much"

"Um… you're a total 'mo who didn't save herself for marriage and you totally break like all of the seven deadly sins daily" Chloe returns to the bed and leans down to kiss Beca's shoulder after the brunette shoots her a glare.

"I should sneeze blood all over you"

"If you do that, I'll totally _never_ have sex with you again" Chloe reaches up to the back of Beca's hand and pulls the tissues away, then nods at the brunette and takes the tissues to fold them over and wipe at the blood left over.

"You're kind of perfect you know" Beca says with a straight face, so naturally Chloe has to smirk.

"I know" she says, dropping her hand holding the tissues onto her knee and taking in Beca's stare. "I love you too"

Beca huffs with a smile and moves closer to press their lips together, and then move away again, much to the surprise of Chloe. "So since I'm cut off, can we just… can I like… hold you, or whatever?"

Chloe smiles widely and places a quick peck onto Beca's cheek before she jumps up to her feet and moves to throw the tissues in the trash. When she returns, Beca's already moving to lay down under the covers, where she joins the brunette after waiting a few moments until her girlfriend was comfy.

Instead of rolling over for a spooning session, she lays on her side to face Beca and stares, which is met by Beca's smile. Beca's lips part and Chloe moves her hand up to press her finger against the brunette's lips, keeping them both silent and in the moment. And she isn't sure whether Beca _gets_ the moment, but it was her moment.

This was the moment she catches up to what happened. She gave herself, _all_ of herself over to Beca and it was amazing. It really is the best night of her life, she's completely head over heels in love. And she knows Beca feels the same way, just by staring into those dark blue eyes. Beca gave herself, and Chloe's never been happier that _Beca_ is her first official girlsex.

She reaches up to the chain around her neck and trails her finger along until she finds the bump of the clasp to undo it and raise one end of the chain until the ring falls onto the bed between them, when she reaches for it, Beca beats her to picking it up. She looks up at the brunette and back down to Beca's hand sliding the ring onto her finger.

Chloe doesn't even try to stop her wide smile as she looks down at the ring on her finger again. She picks up the chain and throws it over her shoulder before leaning in and kissing her girlfriend before grabbing Beca's arm and rolling over until her back was pressed against her girlfriend in a spooning position.


	21. Chapter 21

**(I had a LOT of trouble with this chapter, and after like 587643 re-writes this is about the best I could come up with, but I'm back into the groove on the next chapters, so I don't know what the hell had me so troubled in this. Sorry that it's such a mess)**

She watched the back of Chloe even past the point of the redhead falling asleep. Beca knows she's become soft, but oddly can't give a shit about it. A year ago, she would have scoffed at the idea of herself in a happy relationship. But laying in bed with Chloe, watching her girlfriend sleep after they, wait for it, made _love_ , she doesn't feel embarrassed at all by the idea of being whipped. She was kinda proud of it really. Chloe was the kind of person that people search for in the world, and this girl fell in love with _Beca_. Over all of the people in the world, the redhead chose her.

So really there was nothing here to be ashamed of. And although she can't exactly go out and parade her love around to the world, she knows that Chloe is okay with that. For now anyway. Things are bound to change eventually, and hopefully she will spend the next years until graduation keeping her father and her relationship completely separated. As soon as she's free of this place, she's getting far, far away from her father and giving Chloe a _real_ relationship.

But the first and most important thing she has to do is fix these nosebleeds. Because what the hell kind of crap is that. She's not quite sure why God is playing games like this, maybe their connection really is against the Lord. If that's the case, she'll drop that fucker like a hot potato. She doesn't have any plans to stop having sex with Chloe now. _That_ was hot. And the hottest point of the whole thing is when her nosebleeds hit anyway, so it'd have to be her own body telling her to reel it in. But seriously? Reeling it in when you're about to cum is the most impossible thing ever.

Chloe hums lightly deep within a dream state and Beca can't contain the smile. Everything about the redhead was just… right. She moves forward and presses her lips to the back of Chloe's neck before settling back down into the pillow and closing her eyes with Chloe's arms hugging hers.

* * *

The nightmare she had was horribly brutal, it's amazing what you can produce out of fear. Her father basically just beat her and choked her until she felt like she actually couldn't breathe, and it still wasn't ending, not until Chloe shook her and pulled her out of her own paralyzed sleeping state to turn onto her side and start coughing as if she had been choked.

"Bec, it's okay. You were having a nightmare" Chloe says leaning over her body while she tries to regain her thoughts and catch up to life. "Baby"

"I'm okay" She says, swallowing hard as she starts to push herself up and make Chloe move back to give her the space to sit up. Her chest felt heavy, like it was hard to breathe, and even though it was obviously the stress from her dream, it made the dream feel real, like she really was just choked out.

"What happened?"

Beca exhales before she crawls around the redhead to get up off the bed "Nothing, it was just a bad dream" Chloe's silence says it all as she starts getting dressed. "Look, don't worry about it, okay? I just… I need to just walk somewhere and just.. get out of my head"

"Okay" she hears Chloe say, and when she glances up quickly to find the sad expression, she sighs as she buttons up her jeans

"This isn't about last night. Last night was.. it was really perfect, and I'm not going to do anythi-"

"Bec, I know you're not gonna do anything with anyone. I'm worried that this is… I don't want you to hurt yourself"

Beca waits until Chloe's eyes drop down before she can turn around and get a bra out of the drawer. And whether she says it out loud or not, she knows why she has to wait until the redhead's not looking to be able to turn around. She is comfortable with Chloe, right up until it comes to Chloe looking at her scars, or touching her scars, or even mentioning them. So she isn't _completely_ giving herself over. Her reminders that her father can tear them apart always seep in through the cracks of her confidence.

"Please don't go"

Beca looks over at the direction of Chloe's quiet voice and feels herself getting pulled further down by letting herself make the redhead upset. She turns her head to the drawers next to her and grabs a t-shirt then pulling it on and turning around to the drawers completely to pick out socks.

"Beca"

"Just stop, okay? I'm trying to not let it get to me"

"Just talk t-"

"Stop, Chloe!" Beca shoves the drawer in with a loud thump and shoves the whole wooden unit into the wall and when it falls back into place, she closes her eyes. She's losing herself again. All because of a nightmare. Her hands move up to the top of the set of drawers and her head leans down against them in her silent prayer for control again.

This wasn't how she wanted the day after to go at all. She wanted this to be the day they became a solid couple. The kind that have marriage in their future, not the kind that have her abuse in their future. Her anger subsides after a few minutes and when she stands up straight and turns around, Chloe's still sitting on the bed, holding up the sheets for cover and completely silent for her. So she can regain her control.

"I'm so-"

"Come here, Beca" Chloe's voice was stern, and the redhead looked less worried and more annoyed. And she knows she deserves it, whatever's about to come. Beca walks across the room and sits down on the edge of the bed, looking forward at the floor. "Look at me"

"Not if you're just gonna lea-"

"Beca. Look at me" the redhead's voice starts sounding more annoyed, and when she looks over, the expression on Chloe's face is exactly the same. "Talk to me, and don't test me"

Beca sighs softly and turns to look down at the floor again "I-"

"Don't look away from me"

Beca swallows and looks back up to stare at her girlfriend and try to find words, any words that can describe how her dreams can push all of her negative attributes out. "My nightmare was…. hard. And when I woke up and.. last night it just… it all crashed into each other and I can't lose you"

"He won't come between us"

"He already is, Chloe. As soon as I fucking dream about him, I talk to you like… I get angry and I take it out on you, and that isn't fair"

Chloe's hand moves up to cup her cheek "So be comfy with me again. You've made it this far, Bec. What are you walking backwards for? A bad dream? We're fine. We had the best night _ever_ last night. We should be having more sex, not freaking out about it. I'm not freaking out about it being my first time, why are you?"

Beca sighs and nods against Chloe's hand, turning slightly to kiss the redhead's wrist and move forward to press their lips together, and her walls fall down again, leaving herself in Chloe's hands.

* * *

Chloe's lips have a healing power, or a distraction power. Chloe managed to pull her completely out of her anger in a second, and she actually finds herself _thanking_ the dream, it made Chloe a little more aggressive when it comes to the distractions she needs. Although this morning's distraction was the first one needed in _weeks._ Still, she talked to Chloe about it longer, and hopefully that means she can move past the stupid nightmare.

Beca had to spend her classes desperate for a fix of Chloe, and then heading to the medical centre to try and figure out what the hell was causing the nosebleeds. Which was exactly what she thought, high body temperature and high blood pressure. Apparently a bad mix when she's also anxious about something big. Big being her first time with Chloe. The good part is that it _shouldn't_ need treatment, unless it continues. So this is a great excuse to get Chloe in bed tonight.

Beca made it three feet from her dorm room when her phone started ringing, and when she looked down at it, her good mood dissipates. It was her father. She silences the phone and watches until it rings out and leaves her screen, then a text message comes in a few moments after to tell her she has a voicemail.

 _"Beca, I just wanted to invite you over on Saturday night to have dinner with your family. Katie will be here, and it'll be lovely to have you two reconnect. Bless you, I'll see you Saturday"_

Beca sighs and shakes her head. Her father never acknowledges the abuse, or apologizes for it, so it isn't a new thing for her to hear him act like nothing happened, but it was always aggravating. Too aggravating. Beca taps her way to Chloe's text messages to send a new one 'I need you'

 _'I'm in your dorm'_

Beca looks up at the door she's standing right in front of and turns the handle to find it unlocked. When she walks in, sure enough, her girlfriend is in there sitting at her desk. On her laptop. Which is one of the fastest ways Beca remembers the power Chloe holds over her.

Chloe spins the chair to point in her direction and reaches up to Beca to make her walk across the room and lean down to hug the redhead. "What happened, baby?"

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Beca says before moving back from the hug and resting her hands on the arms of the chair to stay bending down in front of Chloe.

"Um… the bad"

"My father called. He wants me to go over there on Saturday"

"Ugh. The _day_ after I finally let you have your way with me"

"Pff" Beca stands up straight and reaches into her pocket to take out her wallet and phone and put them on the desk as she talks "That was not letting me have my way, you cut me off after like… one round"

"Shush, it was for your own good. What's the good news, anyway? Is your father moving to Japan forever?"

Beca huffs out a laugh and smiles over at Chloe "I went to the medical centre and they checked out my nose. Just high blood pressure and body temperature, like I _said_ it would be. They said it'll pass when my nerves settle"

"Aww baby, you were nervous? That's weird considering you're…" Chloe grins up at her and pokes her in the stomach before she finishes "Experienced"

"Are you calling me a ho?"

"I would never" Chloe feigns innocence and leans back onto the chair, so Beca bends down again, this time pressing her lips against Chloe's and climbing forward onto the chair to straddle the redhead's legs.

* * *

20 minutes later, she's nursing another nosebleed with a handful of tissues and a laughing redhead still underneath her on the chair. Chloe had noticed the frustration in her face when the redhead stopped suddenly to grab the tissues again and started laughing softly, in that deep sexy way that just heightens her sexual frustration to a new level and makes her want to fuck right through the nosebleeds.

"Chloe, seriously"

"I know, baby. You just need to calm down a little"

"What the hell is the point of sex if you can't get excited?"

"Obviously you're getting _too_ excited. Why are you so nervous?"

Beca groans loudly and starts shifting off Chloe's lap to stand up and hold the tissues to her nose and open up yet _again_ about something. Which makes her have this weird buzzing feeling, like it was annoying to have to constantly talk and not just live without the need to hear her talking. "I just get like…. really hot inside and then you do something even _hotter_ and by the end of it I'm basically on fire"

Chloe smiles and leans forward on the chair to reach over and grab her shirt. "Now _that_ is an ego boost" the redhead tugs on her shirt, pulling her closer again. "Do you think the air conditioner would work?"

Beca narrows her eyes slightly and puts her hand onto the top of the chair behind Chloe's head to lean over beside the chair to throw the tissues in the trash and flick the air conditioner switch on. "If this works, I hope you know we're gonna be spending the next year in here"

Chloe laughs softly from between her and the chair "I hope you can keep up then"

" _Me?_ Girl you're in for a world of exhaustion"

* * *

It was either the cold room that was working for her, or the fact that Chloe _constantly_ stopped to ask if she's overheating. Which is so romantic, really. Being brought closer to an orgasm and then having it disappear on you because your girlfriend is too much of a worrier. It was almost like Chloe had no idea just how _close_ she was every time, not until she had to actually say it out loud that if Chloe stops again, she'll have to take over and do it herself.

This whole _making love_ business was new to her. It was hard for her to get into taking Chloe, only for the redhead to stop her and slow her down. She didn't think fast sex was a bad thing, it was _better_ , really. She tried for her girlfriend's sake to stop herself and move slowly instead of the rapid movements that she knows will get the redhead to climax.

Beca takes a chance during the, ugh, making love and starts moving down Chloe's body, glancing up to make sure the redhead knows what she's intending on doing. Chloe's response was a lip bite and staring up at the ceiling, even when she did reach her destination. The easiest way to avoid her rough sex was to take Chloe over the edge with her mouth. Which is something she's going to do at every chance now that she's seen the way Chloe's body responds to her mouth, the arching hips, loud moans and hand against her head was all she needed to feel herself overheating again. Not that it stopped her, which it probably should have when she ended up tasting her own blood mixed with Chloe. Which was...disturbingly hot.

But she got majorly berated as soon as she raised her head anyway. Chloe almost sounded like she was going to leave at one point because Beca was once again, too involved in sex. It was starting to sound like a cop out for Chloe, giving the redhead a reason to _not_ have sex with her. Not that she raised this question, an annoyed girlfriend is already scary enough, making that girlfriend beyond annoyed would result in Chloe leaving.

She ended up sitting on the bed with tissues attached to her face under her nose, waiting for Chloe's return from the showers. When her girlfriend returns, there's a long silence after Chloe gets back into the bed and avoids looking at her. Giving her some form of a time-out punishment. She had to sit there quietly waiting for her nose to stop bleeding and then waiting for Chloe to speak again, which doesn't happen right away, the silence drags on for far too long, and now Beca's worried that Chloe thinks she has AIDS or something. "I don't have anything you know"

"What?"

"Like… in my blood, I don't have an STD"

Chloe looked surprised at her and furrows her brows "I didn't say you did, Beca"

"No, I know I just…. I didn't want you to worry about the whole…. blood to vag thing"

Chloe sighs loudly and sits up in front of her, that annoyed expression returning and slightly scaring her. "Can't you ever take anything seriously when it comes to this? I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Beca. But this isn't just sex for me. This is our first time and you're just…. you're taking it for granted"

"I can't control my nose, dude"

"No. But you know when your nose is bleeding and you keep going. And then you joke about our sex like it's nothing"

"It's not nothing. I just….. why get upset over something we can't help?"

"It isn't about the nosebleeds! You literally sit here saying the most crass ways to refer to me. All you want to do is fuck me and brag about it. I wouldn't be surprised if you started popping your collars and joined a frat house" Chloe's reaction to her laughter was less than welcoming, the redhead moves to get up out of the bed, leaving Beca to regret actually laughing at what she _thought_ was a joke.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I'll try to be less vulgar. I didn't know it bothered you this much" Beca's eyes spring up from Chloe's naked form when the redhead turns back to her.

"Thank you. I get that you're not used to talking about sex like this but… it means a lot to me that this is taken seriously. I don't want my first time with you to be hard and fast. Can't we at least make it two days before you start trying to ram me against walls?"

Beca bites her tongue to keep herself from smirking and nods instead of talking, just in case. Chloe's serious expression was _not_ helping. The redhead falls into a quiet suspicion and stares at Beca.

"Am I gonna have to kick your butt?" Chloe says. Beca's smirk releases as she watches Chloe's arms cross and the way her girlfriend's head tilts in irritation causes her laugh to follow quickly.

"I'm sorry. I am, it's just.. ram you against walls just.. it was funny and random"

"It isn't random when you consider the first _actual_ time you had sex with me" Chloe falls into a quiet and scary looking contemplation, making Beca growingly worried that their first _actual_ time is about to bite her in the ass. The redhead's arms drop away as Chloe starts sauntering toward her. "Bec?"

Beca's eyes travel down her girlfriend's body and back up slowly when Chloe stands in front of her next to the bed. "Wha-"

"Do _exactly_ what I say and no one gets hurt" Chloe says, inciting a raised eyebrow look from Beca. Her hands move back onto the bed as she stares up at Chloe, waiting for the redhead to get kinky with her. "Do you have any ties?"

"Well yeah, I'm gay" Beca looks over at the drawers and nods toward them "Top drawer on the left" she watches Chloe moving across the room to the drawers. "So…. what are you planning?"

"You gotta shush for me baby"

"Wow. Getting dominant on me now. I like where this is goi-"

"Ssh" Chloe says, turning back to her with the ties and knotting them around each other in a confusing way. "I'm gonna take charge" the redhead says, moving back to the bed and bending down to pick up one of her wrists to put it through the loop on the tie and pull until it's tight around her wrist. "Does it hurt?"

"You're already failing at this BDSM thing. Aren't you supposed to be like…. I hope that hurts, bitch" Beca smiles up at Chloe and twitches into a momentary confused state after Chloe's palm smacks against her forehead. "Wha-"

"You're going to be quiet or I'm gonna leave" Chloe raises an eyebrow down at her, challenging her to speak again, which she doesn't. "Now get on your back" Beca nods with a smirk and starts moving down "Bitch" Chloe adds, making her laugh as she lays down. Chloe puts a knee on the bed and swings the other leg over her. "So you're not allowed to talk or move"

"You basically want a corpse then, something you're not telling me?" Beca raises her other hand higher for Chloe to attach to the tie handcuffs.

"Oh no, I want you to make _noise_ , Becs. But don't talk, because you're too crass and I might have to spank you for it" Chloe's nose scrunches up after the sentence comes out and Beca laughs softly. "That's gross to say"

"It's… kinda gross to hear, too. We're not on camera right now, right? I mean this is sounding really porn-ish" Beca says as she stares up at Chloe's smile.

"Watch a lot of porn, do you?" Chloe moves her hands up higher and after a few moments of moving, comes back down to hold herself up over Beca. "Pull" she pulls after Chloe's command and finds out that she's tied to something solid.

"You don't watch porn?" Beca pulls harder, testing out the strength of the ties, which may be a little stronger than she had hoped for. She'll just have to untie herself, she has enough room to reach her own wrist and take it off.

"Nope. I have my mind" Chloe leans closer, stopping inches from Beca's lips and whispering against them "And my mind is _very_ dirty" Beca exhales against Chloe's lips when a hand trails up her stomach to her breast. "And I don't need the help to get me off"

"Well tha-" Beca's voice turns to muffled words after Chloe's hand clasps over her mouth.

"Quiet now" Chloe says softly "I'm gonna give you what you need tonight, and you can give it to me my way tomorrow. Deal?"

Beca mumbles against Chloe's hand and decides to nod in confirmation when the hand refuses to move away.

* * *

Beca was dying, at least this is what she assumes death feels like. They got about an hour of sleep through all of the talking and random bursts of sex that Beca would initiate by wrestling Chloe and making the redhead laugh, which is basically the best aphrodisiac.

And now she's paying for it. Two cans of Red Bull later and she's still dragging ass as she walks over to Jesse's dorm room. Chloe actually gets to nap while she's gone to her dinner tonight, and she's super jealous. And super annoyed that she can't nap _with_ the redhead. And just hold that body close while she sleeps. Or stays awake just to feel Chloe up.

Last night was so worth it though. Chloe kept her tied up for far too long in her opinion. And even though the redhead kept asking if something was good or horrible, and then asking her to guide Chloe through oral, which was so much hotter than it sounds. Dirty talk was pretty new to her, but obviously not to Chloe, who seemed to _really_ get into it.

Beca's sex drive seemed to have been rebooted as soon as Chloe said the words 'I wanna have sex'. It was an insane switch from having total control over herself to just having that burning urge to touch Chloe attacking her inside. And even though her almost big angry outburst happened, she still felt in control of everything, or at least Chloe does. Who sort of has the burden of keeping her in line now.

At least being around Jesse suppresses those urges completely, and she'll probably never want sex again after having dinner with her family. As soon as Jesse opens his door after her knock, all of her dirty thoughts scream and run for the hills.

"Hey Bec. Late as usual" Jesse says with a smile as he steps out and shuts the door behind him to walk with her again. Which is fantastic to do when you're exhausted and running on fumes.

"Not my fault. I was up all night and had about three seconds of sleep" Beca says before exhaling loudly and then smirking at her memory of the previous night.

"Oh Beca, tell me you didn't" Beca looks over at her friend and raises an eyebrow at his annoyed look. "You fucked someone again? Dude, what's wrong with you. It's been months without-"

"It was Chloe, dude"

Jesse purses his lips and then raises his eyebrows. "Oh shit. Seriously? How was it?"

Beca sighs to release her irritation at his accusation and stares forward as they walk "Well, I mean it was our second night"

"Dude! You didn't tell me on the first night? Man, I could kick your ass right now. And not just because you're weak from all night sex with Chloe that you didn't tell me about"

Beca smiles with a huff and shrugs her shoulder. "Guess it just slipped my mind. While I was having endless sex with Chloe. My hands were busy"

"How was it?"

"It's so good I keep getting nosebleeds"

"Is… that a good thing?"

"Uh... " Beca shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans and looks over at Jesse with an unsure squint "It's basically my body overheating, but it makes her stop. Like every damn time"

"So… it was good while it lasted?"

"Dude. There's no word to describe how hot it was. Whatever the hottest thing ever is, Chloe's hotter than that"

"Ixnay the aygay" Jesse nods at something ahead and when Beca looks over, she finds Katie standing at the curb.

"It's gonna get real awkward tonight Jesse. I hope you're prepared"

"I am completely prepared to kick his ass if he tries anything tonight"

"He won't. He got his point across. He'll act like nothing ever happened and show Katie off like a prized pony. _Oh look Katie's back. Ask Katie how it was in Australia. Ask Katie how she's adapting to college here._ blah."

"Well at least we like Katie"

"Yeah. Except for the obvious" Beca lowers her voice as they approach her step-sister, who turns and notices them approaching.

"Hey guys! It's great to see you're still together" Katie leans in to hug Beca for a moment and back again. "How are you two?"

"Still going strong" Beca says, awkwardly shoving her fist into Jesse's arm and nudging it forward. "This guy. One of the good ones"

Jesse huffs and moves his arm up around Beca's shoulders. Which makes her feel slightly grossed out now. She never really felt like that before, it was just a thing that she got used to. But now she just wants Chloe's arm. Among other things.

"Aww" Katie says, pulling Beca out of her thoughts and realizing that the smile she had was mistaken for something else. Well it worked to convince Katie that they're still dating, so it's a plus. She'll just think of Chloe more often.

"So how was it in Australia? You adapting well to college here?" Jesse asks, making Beca give him a side-eye glare followed by an eye roll.

"Oh it was great there, I'll miss it. College here is fine. It's not really that different, just the accents and stuff. Their Bible colleges are like really good though" Katie was smiling way too brightly for someone who went to _Bible college_.

The more Katie and Jesse talked about colleges, the more she just wanted to fall over and sleep on the grass. Her eyes glaze over as she zones out and stares at the road a few yards in front of her, the sound of the conversation was distanced in her ears and sounded more like mumbling than words.

She was snapped out of it eventually when her father arrived, and shockingly enough, didn't acknowledge ever hitting her with a belt. It was a normal thing for him to do, so it wasn't like she was seething at him. But her patience from being tired was very thin. And this was likely to be a dangerous thing for her.

She just has to keep her mind on Chloe. Her girlfriend can keep her safe, even if Chloe isn't actually with her at the moment. That's the hope anyway.


	22. Chapter 22

"Chloe"

Chloe groans as she turns her head to open her eyes at the ceiling and finding Beca moving closer and kissing her with a little more intensity than she was expecting, not that she was even expecting a kiss. The brunette's hands weren't far behind, feeling her up and making her start pushing on Beca's shoulders to stop her girlfriend's kiss. "Bec, stop" Beca's lips return again, forcing her to push harder "Stop! Stop."

Beca sighs loudly and stays above her. She can see Beca's sadness even through the dim light of the room. "He wants to move to Washington. Including me"

Chloe moves her hands from Beca's shoulders around the brunette's neck to pull the girl down on top of her into a hug. "We can figure something out Beca, you're not going anywhere"

"I'm sorry that I…"

"It's okay. I know why you did it" Chloe rests her hand on the back of Beca's head, and eventually Beca's breathing calmed against the nape of her neck. "Maybe we should consider getting you a job or something, a lot of people pay for college by themselves" Chloe waits a moment for Beca's answer and sighs softly "If you want to go and be with your family, I understand" Only silence followed, and it would have been heartbreaking if she didn't hear the light murmur from Beca. Her girlfriend just fell asleep. On top of her, no less. It was a relief, but now she's stuck here and wide awake. At least it gives her time to think of a thousand things they can do to stay together.

* * *

Èventually, like after a whole _hour_ of Beca being passed out on top of her, she had to carefully roll the brunette onto her back and get out of bed. And then she distracted herself with Beca's laptop as long as she could before she got restless and left the room. The worst part about being up when it's night is that no one is awake to talk to. Aubrey was asleep when she got to their dorm, and no one had answered the messages she sent to the Bella group chat on Facebook.

She did eventually find something to do, which was studying. And when it hit 7am and she was _still_ awake, Aubrey woke up. 7am was their wake up hour, and every morning without going minutes over, Aubrey would spring up in the bed and wake her up for their morning cardio. Only this day… Bree didn't have to wake her. She was actually already dressed in her workout clothes because she knew the blonde would be getting up soon.

"How long have you been up?" Aubrey asks her while the blonde gets undressed from her pyjamas.

"All night. I fell asleep really early and Becs woke me up when she got back from dinner. It's like super boring when everyone's asleep" Chloe closes the book on her desk and spins on her chair to look at Aubrey getting dressed. "She told me her father wants to move to Washington"

"Good riddance to him then" Aubrey was too busy pulling on a top to notice Chloe's saddened look.

"With her"

Aubrey's hands slow down as the blonde dresses. "So… is she going?"

"I don't know. She fell asleep before I could find out" Chloe plonks her elbow on the arm of the chair and rests her cheek against her hand. "I can't just let her leave though, right? I mean we just got back together like a minute ago. We still have 90 years to go"

"Well maybe it isn't even happening. Did she say he _wants_ to move, or that he _is_ moving?"

"That he _wants_ to move. But that still means he intends on doing it. Just to be a giant jerkface. I've been trying to think of places Beca can work or something"

"Maybe you should talk to her before you start getting her employed somewhere. Let's go"

Chloe sighs when she gets up to walk out with the blonde. "If she does leave, I'm just gonna follow and stalk her"

* * *

Chloe doesn't usually talk so much when she runs with Aubrey, but today she just couldn't shut herself up about being with Beca in _that_ way. And Aubrey always had to suffer with her too much info stories about sex. And it isn't like she's the _only_ one. Aubrey is always talking to her about something Stacie did that made the blonde…. really happy.

And this was her first actual time with a girl, not that all of the sex acts are a new thing to her, not when it's done _to_ her, anyway. But the other way around? That was new. And Beca was _more_ than happy to guide her on what to do, but she wanted to be able to just… know things, like studying before a test, she wanted to know the ins and outs, so to speak, so she can make Beca _extra_ happy.

They were walking in the dorm building towards their room when Chloe, very innocently, asked "Can you give me pointers on oral?" Chloe rarely saw Aubrey blush, but as soon as she looked over at the blonde, her best friend was red faced and looking around at the girls in the corridor as they walk by.

"Seriously? Why would you say that when we're around people?" Aubrey clears her throat as they get to the door. The blonde waits until they're in the room with the door closed to sigh and get totally uncomfortable, which Chloe can see through the awkward body language. "Okay… well… If.. how are you.. um. Nope. I'm _so_ not having this conversation"

"But I need to know, Bree. I don't want to ask her again, that's weird, right? I mean I should just pick it up after the first go. And I can't really… remember a lot of the directions, I mean she was _really_ distracting"

Aubrey's strained, uncomfortable breath makes the blonde look pained. "Chloe, please. I really don't want to imagine you going down on anyone"

"You've heard all of this before"

"Not willingly! I mean you basically just came in here saying y-. Okay. Okay, lets just call Stacie over and you guys can just talk about oral all night while I go _anywhere_ "

"That's weird though, right?"

"You're right." Aubrey sighs and looks over at the door to think. The blonde didn't even seem sad or annoyed that they were reminded of Stacie and Beca having sex. Like it was just a 'meh' situation now. And it is. Chloe wasn't bothered by it at this point either. "Cynthia"

"Yes!"

* * *

Her conversation with Cynthia-Rose didn't last long at all. Because there's an _app_. An app that helps with oral sex. And she will _never_ tell anyone how many times she had her phone to her face, or that she actually used the app, really. And lucky for her, incognito mode on her phone was a thing, so she can use it in secret whenever she was alone during the day.

This wasn't her smartest plan. It was really only a matter of time before Aubrey walked into the room and caught her licking her phone, which she threw across the room to cover it up.

"Do I _want_ to know?" Aubrey says, walking into the room with Stacie following. At this point, Chloe was as red as her hair and shaking her head to nope out of life. "Then I won't ask"

"Ask what? What do we not wanna know?" Stacie says, who was thankfully out of sight when Aubrey walked in.

"Nothing" Aubrey and Chloe say in unison. And Chloe sinks slightly deeper into the chair when the two girls sit on Aubrey's bed and stare at her.

"Did I miss something? Were you getting busy with yourself in here or something?" Stacie looks from Chloe to Aubrey, then back at her again.

"She was getting busy with _something_ " Aubrey says, and Chloe can clearly see the blonde trying not to laugh at her.

Chloe huffs loudly and sits up straight on the chair. She was _not_ about to be embarrassed for wanting to learn more skills to pleasure her girlfriend. Embarrassed isn't something she's used to. "Cynthia told me about an app. You just… lick your phone and strengthen your tongue muscles while learning how to give oral" Both of the girls stare at her in silence, and Stacie looks impressed, while Aubrey just looks grossed out.

"So… you were eating out your phone?" Stacie asks, and then gets slapped by Aubrey's hand colliding with the brunette's stomach.

"You're gross" Aubrey looks back at Chloe again "You're _both_ gross."

Chloe only just now realized how alike the two relationships were. Except Aubrey's a little more…. tightly wound than her. Also more controlling. And a little quick to anger. Well maybe the only similarity was Stacie and Beca. They're both crass, and they like sex a little too much sometimes, and they had a tendency to treat girlfriends badly.

"I don't think it's gross. Chloe just...wants to learn how to get Beca off" Stacie says with a shrug.

"Ugh. No. Nope. No. I don't want to think about Chloe getting Beca off. And I really don't want to see Chloe licking her phone and thinking it's Beca"

"I don't _think_ my phone is Bec. I'm preparing for Bec" Chloe says with a grin and a wink

"Oh, god. Please stop"

"You should get this app, babe" Stacie says while leaning back. And Aubrey's glare at the brunette almost makes _Chloe_ want to run. "Not that you need it" Stacie adds quickly.

"I will murder you in your sleep if you say I need to practise going down on you" Aubrey pulls Stacie's forearm, making the brunette drop onto the bed.

"You don't.. maybe you should give Chloe some pointers, like that tongue thing you do when you like.. li-" Stacie's voice turns to mumbles after Aubrey's hand clasps over the brunette's mouth to silence the girl.

"Anyway. Chloe. You don't need a phone to teach you how to… do _that_. Just… wing it and see what her reactions are like" Aubrey says, looking at Chloe more supportively.

"But what if I suck at it and she has to fake it because I'm so bad and she doesn't want to hurt my feelings?"

"Really. Don't be a dork. Oral is easy, just look up at her and see what she's doing. If she's spending less time moaning and moving her body, try something different"

"Are you supposed to stick your tongue inside?"

"Oh my god." Aubrey stands up quickly and gives a quick head shake before walking out of the room. Leaving Stacie to laugh and Chloe to frown.

"It isn't really… a thing you need to do. Fingers, yes. Tongue… not so much. I could give you a few pointers if you want?"

Chloe nods along with Stacie's advice, and can't quite focus beyond the fact that Stacie is giving her sex advice… for Beca. "Did you and Beca ever.."

Stacie falls silent and looks over at the door before returning the stare back to Chloe. "Are we actually talking about this?"

"Well I'm not really… worried that it'll ever happen again or anything, and it's… a little awkward, but you two had sex. And it happened, and we all processed it…. and...yeah"

"There was no oral. Just...fingers, and really it was just one sided"

Chloe nods slowly and looks over at her bed where her phone flew to "I'd like some pointers"

* * *

 _Beca Mitchell 11:41_  
 _Sorry I slept forever. I miss you_  
 _Chloe Beale 11:42_  
 _Hey baby! I have some surprises for you to make you feel better :)_  
 _Beca Mitchell 11:42_  
 _Please tell me it involves food_  
 _Chloe Beale 11:42_  
 _It depends. To me, yes. To you, no._  
 _Beca Mitchell 11:43_  
 _I am way too dead for riddles, Chlo. What are you talking about?_  
 _Chloe Beale 11:43_  
 _;)_  
 _Go get food baby, I have a lot to memorize_  
 _Beca Mitchell 11:43_  
 _I'm more confused now. What?_  
 _Chloe Beale 11:43_  
 _I'm studying, Becs._  
 _Beca Mitchell 11:44_  
 _Oh, see, you could have just said that. Message me when you're finished, or come over or whatever._  
 _Love you_  
 _Chloe Beale 11:44_  
 _You have to say it properly, Becs or it doesn't count!_  
 _Beca Mitchell 11:44_  
 _*I* love you. I love you. There. Now I'm going to eat_  
 _Chloe Beale 11:44_  
 _I love you, sexypants!_  
 _Beca Mitchell 11:44_  
 _No._

Chloe laughs softly and puts the phone down on the desk before turning back to her writing book in front of her with all of Stacie's notes. Because if there's one thing Aubrey taught her, it's to be thorough. An organized woman gets shit done.

She will actually study soon, but priorities. She didn't want to have to ask again, so it's better to know what you're doing beforehand, and maybe even cause surprise with all of her new knowledge of where to ..put her tongue. Which is really something she should have done _before_ she had sex with Beca. But that moment hit her at an unexpected time, it's not as if she knew Beca was going to be all kinds of perfect at the club.

Plus, that first night was kind of… interrupted by the noseblood anyway, the second night was the one that threw her into this study mode, and it doesn't really seem like Beca minds, but who wants their girlfriend constantly saying 'Is that okay?'. Ugh. Just thinking about herself doing that makes her embarrassed. And Chloe doesn't _do_ embarrassed. Chloe does outgoing and confronting. She wants to stun Beca into a sexy silence, not give her girlfriend all the cards and let her be in charge. No, she's definitely going to beat Beca in the game of orgasms.

Chloe had it all figured out eventually and moved onto her actual college studying, but she'd constantly check her phone for messages from Beca that never actually came. And her annoying desperation to talk to the brunette was starting to eat away at her, which makes her wonder when she actually became so clingy. So she waits longer to give Beca the space needed. Or to think of a good reason to message.

 _Chloe Beale 14:15_  
 _What are you up to?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 14:21_  
 _Thinking about you naked_  
 _Chloe Beale 14:22_  
 _Now what are you REALLY up to?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 14:22_  
 _...Thinking about you naked._  
 _Chloe Beale 14:22_  
 _Really? As soon as you get sex, you turn into the biggest horndog, don't you?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 14:22_  
 _Sorry_  
 _I'll stop._  
 _Chloe Beale 14:23_  
 _It isn't a bad thing, I like that you're sexy_  
 _Beca Mitchell 14:23_  
 _Yeah, now you do_  
 _Chloe Beale 14:23_  
 _?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 14:23_  
 _Nothing. Sorry. I'm making a mix, so I kinda need to focus. I'll talk to you later?_  
 _Chloe Beale 14:23_  
 _What's wrong?_  
 _Chloe Beale 14:27_  
 _Beca?_  
 _Chloe Beale 14:38_  
 _I'm not happy that you decided to ignore me because something innocent said, but I'll give you whatever space you need._

Chloe sighs loudly and drops her phone onto the desk before leaning forward and laying the side of her head on the book. Beca's swaying moods were making small returns and now she's starting to get worried again, she thought she had this under control, had Beca's anger under control. She doesn't.

* * *

Chloe was out with Stacie, Aubrey and Amy for dinner, and she still hadn't heard from her girlfriend after she may or may not have hurt the brunette's feelings. Because in typical fashion, Beca's anger was her fault. It wasn't exactly fun to be the cause of all of your girlfriend's swaying moods, Beca gave her this responsibility of control and she's doing it all wrong. She has Beca back, and she should probably let the brunette talk about sex as much as it was needed.

Chloe smiles as Stacie grabs Aubrey's head and moves the blonde closer to kiss Bree's cheek and move back again. The couple were adorable, and Amy had to make it weird.

"Did you guys know that there's around twenty million new cases of STDs a year? Heard that today" the Aussie says, causing Stacie to move away from Aubrey with an eye roll.

"Chloe needs to be more worried about that than we do" Aubrey says before leaning back slightly and looking at Stacie and pausing "Or maybe not"

"None of us need to worry" Stacie looked slightly uncomfortable after Aubrey's comment and looks across the table at Chloe, who gives the brunette a slight smile before looking down at her glass of soda.

"Ooh, Chloe's finally getting it on with the shorty? How is it?" Amy says, looking in her direction.

"It's really…. _really_ good" she says, looking up at Amy and hearing the groan from Aubrey.

"She's certainly had enough practise" Aubrey mumblrs, which Chloe hears clearly.

Chloe stares over the table at the blonde "Why do you keep doing that?" her nerves take a slight turn for the worst considering Beca wasn't exactly talkative and Aubrey keeps taking digs at Stacie and Beca.

Aubrey sighs softly and waits a beat before leaning in "I saw her with someone, Chloe. They were hugging and just… looked.. I mean who does she _ever_ hug?"

Chloe swallows hard and furrows her eyebrows before darting her eyes down to the phone sitting on the table next to her plate. When she flicks on the screen, there's still no message and now she just feels sick. "When?"

"Last night outside. I haven't even seen this gir- Chloe" Aubrey gets interrupted when she stands up to start walking out. Beca _can't_ do this to her again. They were finally perfect, they were _happy_. Why the fuck is Beca doing this to her? Because of that stupid nightmare, no doubt. Or that asshole who probably scared Beca by wanting to move, now her girlfriend is getting destructive.

* * *

Chloe knows on the door loudly and waits for it to open before she pushes her way past the brunette and enters the room. "Who the fuck is she?"

"What? Who? In case you didn't notice, I'm in here alo-"

"Beca, don't, not right now. Bree saw you with someone" her arms cross over her chest as Beca closes the door and turns back confused.

"I.. have no idea who the hell she would have seen me with. I've only been here with you"

"Last night. She saw you with a girl somewhere. Why are you doing this? Am I seriously not enough for you? I had _sex_ with you, Beca. That's a big fucking deal to me, and it may mean nothing to you, but I at least thought you could acknowledge that"

"Woah. Okay. How about you calm the fuck down? I haven't been with anyone other than you"

"So you're calling Bree a liar?" Chloe's eyebrows raise, challenging Beca to call her best friend a liar.

"No. I'm just… obviously she confused me with someone else. The only people I saw last night were Jesse and K-... Katie. She saw me with Katie, dude"

Chloe exhales sharply and turns away, then turns around completely to cover her face with her hands and completely chastise herself in her mind.

"Chloe, it's okay. I get the confusion, although kinda gross to think about it with my sister"

"No. It's not okay" Chloe drops her hands away with a sigh and looks down at the floor. "It's really not okay. I can't just come in here and accuse you of cheating, that isn't fair" She turns around after a few moments, frowning at herself "I'm sorry. You've been really good lately and I just…"

"Really, it's cool. Never happened" Beca approaches her slowly and pulls her into a hug, which she seriously needed at this moment, just to show her that she didn't just step too far by basically calling Beca a repeat offender. "Chloe, I love you"

"I love you too" she says, holding onto the brunette. "I thought you freaked out about your father and just…" Beca starts moving away from her slowly, staying close enough for them to keep hold of each other.

"I'm not freaking out, not _that_ badly. It isn't really an official thing, it was just something I needed to tell you. I didn't mean to confuse you about it. I can't even remember what I said, really. I was pretty damn tired"

"I feel like such an idiot"

"Don't." Beca leans in slowly and presses their lips together for a few moments before moving back again "You're far too hot to be an idiot"

Chloe smiles slowly and shakes her head "That doesn't mean I can't be an idiot. You're hot and a total idiot"

"Ugh. I was being so nice. I'm obviously the better girlfriend here" Beca kisses her cheek quickly before moving away and going over to the desk.

"You are so not the better girlfriend. I just spent like _hours_ studying oral sex for you" Chloe spins around and looks at Beca before moving over to the bed and jumping onto it to lay down on her stomach and prop herself up on her elbows to stare over at the brunette.

"I'm sorry, you what now? Why would you study how to go down on someone? You're _perfectly_ fine"

"Because I don't want to have to keep asking how to sex you. I even studied the fingering thing, I just wanna know _exactly_ how to pleasure my girlfriend" Chloe says matter of factly before rolling onto her back and smiling up at the ceiling.

"Like you haven't ever done it before" Beca snorts and starts tapping at the keys on the laptop and Chloe furrows her brows slightly before a surprised expression spreads across her face. Beca didn't know that she was a girl virgin before.

"Um.." Chloe bites her lip softly before she starts sitting up and turning to look at her girlfriend, who was busy looking at the laptop screen. "I haven't..actually done it before you"

Beca's head turns up to stare forward in a frozen pose before turning to look at her, completely stunned. "Are you serious? You didn't think to tell me this?"

"I didn't…. think it was like… necessary? I didn't want you to feel bad about the wall thing, an-"

"Wow. Chloe. You seriously just… wow. Okay. Okay." Beca nods, and continues to nod even after turning back to the screen. "Okay."

"Is it a bad thing?"

"Yes? I mean you fucking kept this from me that you're a _virgin_. Are you a total virgin, or have you actually done the D thing, because I was under the impression that you've had both"

Chloe grimaces slightly after Beca's stare makes her nerves rise. "I've slept with two guys" Beca sighs and looks away again, and now she feels even _worse_. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it was-"

"Just… stop okay. I just need to like…. think. You basically just… you kept this from me. I feel like shit now that I just basically ruined your first time" Beca leans forward and headbutts the edge of the laptop lightly.

"I'm sorry" she says quietly.

"Just go. Please." Beca says without looking up. Chloe's heart hurts as she gets up off the bed to walk out quietly. Beca really chose a horrible time to decide that sex actually means something.


	23. Chapter 23

Beca wasn't exactly sure why she got so annoyed at Chloe's virginity where she had to kick the redhead out of her room to deal with it. It was aggravating to be lied to like that, it was Chloe's _first_ time, and if she knew about it before, she never would have fucked the redhead against that wall, although knowing her before, she probably would have just completely ditched the idea of being with the girl.

Chloe basically lied to her though, she thought that the redhead's confidence in finding girls attractive meant that Chloe actually had sex with girls. How wrong assumptions can be. She wasn't surprised that the redhead had no problem sleeping with men. That was typical, because of course Chloe would find it easier to be with guys, most bi girls do.

She doesn't _hate_ bi girls, she's had a lot of fun with them before. She just doesn't trust them. There's always something that shoves them back to guys eventually, and as much as Beca loves and trusts Chloe, there's always going to be her paranoia clawing its way out. And that's fucking irritating to think of your girlfriend with guys. Two guys.

 _Beca Mitchell 19:25_  
 _Who the fuck are these guys?_  
 _Do you still talk to them?_  
 _How long ago was it?_  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:26_  
 _Was it safe sex?_  
 _How long were you sleeping with them?_  
 _I'm so fucking annoyed at you for keeping this from me. Why the fuck didn't you tell me before?_  
 _Are you that threatened by sex with me that you had to keep your virginity from me?_  
 _Jesus, what's wrong with you?_  
 _Chloe Beale 19:29_  
 _I'm not answering any of those questions, and you need to get yourself in line before you say something you really regret. Even though you've already seriously insulted me._  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:29_  
 _Oh I'm so sorry for insulting you. At least I'm fucking talking to you. I'm telling you what I'm pissed off about. You seem to just keep things from me. Like your fucking virginity - to only girls. Which makes me feel so fucking great to know that you like dick more._  
 _Chloe Beale 19:30_  
 _Beca, stop. You know that isn't true._  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:30_  
 _It isn't true? You fucked two guys and have only just fucked me. So yeah, little confusing when you're supposedly into both._  
 _Chloe Beale 19:31_  
 _Aubrey here - Do not talk to her like that Beca. I swear I'll kick your tiny ass from here to China. Did you just randomly decide to forget how many things Chloe has forgiven you for? How fucking dare you get angry at her for not sleeping with ANY GIRLS BEFORE YOU. You've slept with how many? INCLUDING MY GIRLFRIEND? I really fucking wonder why the fuck Chloe bothers with you. Don't talk to her again until you've seriously thought about this._  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:31_  
 _I'm allowed to be angry at her for keeping shit from me. Get the fuck out of our conversation, this doesn't involve you._  
 _Chloe Beale 19:31_  
 _You involved me when you fucked my girlfriend behind Chloe's back. Bye, Beca. Enjoy radio silence._  
 _Beca Mitchell 19:31_  
 _Just put Chloe the fuck back on._

Beca waited for ages for someone to see the message, and it never was. So she texts Chloe instead 'Talk to me, Chloe'.

The longer she waits, the more annoyed she gets. Now Aubrey was keeping Chloe from her? What the fuck for? All because the blonde was jealous. Beca sighs loudly and leans back onto the chair, staring over at the Facebook message from Aubrey. Sure, it was slightly hypocritical to get upset over something like this, but Chloe kept it from her. All because the redhead failed to tell her before she fucked Chloe against the wall.

* * *

It takes until the next morning for her to realize how much of an idiot she is. She ran Chloe away because of the _lack_ of sex her girlfriend had before her. Well, lack of sex with girls. She was still jealous about the guys, but that was expected, she haaates the idea of anyone touching Chloe. At least now she wouldn't lash out and attempt to beat the snot out someone for just looking at her girlfriend.

Beca's mission took her outside for a while, where she got breakfast and then an annoyingly romantic bunch of flowers before showing up at Chloe's dorm and knocking until someone answered, Aubrey. Just her luck.

"You think _those_ are going to help you?" Aubrey scoffs and slams the door in her face, and she drops her arm with the flowers to her side with a loud sigh.

"Damn it.." the door opens again, this time it was Chloe standing on the other side and looking at her oddly. "Okay before you shut the door in my face too, I know that I freaked out about the vir…" Beca stops and looks to her side to oncoming people and lowers her voice when she looks back at Chloe "Virgin thing. And I really didn't mean anything I said. I'm sorry" Beca reaches up and holds the flowers out to Chloe, who just looks down at them with a frown. "I love you. And whether you've slept with two people or a hundred, or none. I want to be with you forever"

There was still a disappointed look on Chloe's face, making Beca drop her arm back to her side again. "I need you to start focusing more on being more sensitive with me"

"I will. I'll focus most on that, I swear" A few moments of silence pass, and Beca watches Chloe's face, waiting for any sign that she isn't in the shit anymore.

"Okay. If you can do that for me, I'll try to be more supportive"

"Chloe… you couldn't _be_ more supportive." Beca steps forward and holds the flowers up between them. "Just…. take these for me and keep being you, okay?"

"Okay" Chloe takes the flowers off her and smells them before smiling at her and settling all of her nerves.

Her nerves that just build right back up again with her next question "Can I have a minute with Aubrey?"

Chloe raises an eyebrow at her and there's a chortle from inside the room, which is from Aubrey. "Um… okay." Chloe turns around slowly after giving her a worried look

A few moments after she walks away, the blonde comes to the door and pushes her back so Aubrey can step out and shut the door to keep Chloe from hearing what is most likely going to be an endless stream of insults, or an ass kicking. "Okay"

Not quite what she thought Aubrey would say. "Okay… so I, um… I wanted to say first of all, that I'm sorry for...what I did to you, you're actually really cool and I'm -"

"Are you saying if I wasn't cool, you'd have fucked Stacie without feeling bad?"

"No, I-"

"Don't apologize to me about Stacie, because it doesn't matter how many times you do it, I'll never be the one who blows smoke up your ass to tell you that it's all okay. It isn't okay, and it never will be. We're all trying to move past it, I suggest you just stick to doing that too"

"Okay… well" Beca clears her throat awkwardly and looks over at the door as if Chloe was going to get her request for help through it. "I… love Chloe. And it'd be pretty cool if you could like.. I dunno, be my friend or whatever"

"I'll be your acquaintance. Chloe is my priority and when you act like an asshole, I'm always going to be three seconds from dropkicking your ass"

Beca nods slowly and pushes her hands into her pockets "If you need to do that"

Aubrey's expression softens at her before turning to the door and opening it again. She was left outside in the corridor to process her awkward attempt to get on Aubrey's good side.

Chloe returns again and holds a hand out to her, making her look around the area before taking it and walking into the room behind the redhead. And this is the first time she's been in a room with Chloe and Aubrey. Aubrey's usually with Stacie and distracted, only now the blonde has a clear view of all of her movements and fuck ups.

Beca stands in the middle of the room, staying silent as Chloe points her towards the bed. She takes the quiet direction and walks over to the bed to sit down on the edge and look across the room at Aubrey.

Chloe follows her over to the bed and sits next to her, there were a few moments of silence before she hears Chloe speaking "Why are you so threatened by my sexuality?"

Beca turns her head slowly to look at Chloe "Um… can we talk about this later?"

"No, I'd like to hear this too" Aubrey says from across the room, jumping her nerves back into gear.

She sighs softly, taking a moment to think before she speaks, which has never been her strong suit. "Because….. If you were to miss guys, I don't exactly have any reason for you to stay. I wouldn't have what you needed"

"Oh please, Beca. We all know what this is really about. You were perfectly fine and happy for weeks before your father showed back up again and now you're throwing your anger around again. Maybe you should figure that out first" Aubrey says, aiming right for Beca's jugular. And the blonde was completely right, she _was_ happy before.

"Bree, don't. You-" Chloe stops when Beca interrupts her

"She's right" Beca says, looking from Chloe to Aubrey "You're right" Beca turns her gaze down to her lap. "I can't...exactly just avoid him forever, he's my father, he's all the family that I have left"

"Family isn't just about blood. If you got to know Chloe's friends more, you'd see that family are those people that love you and stick by you no matter what"

"You don't need to stop seeing him, Becs. I'd never ask you to do that. You just have to stop letting him get to you the way you do" Chloe nudges their arms together "I just want you happy"

"I know" Beca looks to her side at the redhead and smiles slightly before leaning back onto her arm as she stares.

"You two aren't gonna have sex now are you? Because we have class soon" Aubrey says, knocking Beca out of her moment with Chloe and making her huff out a laugh.

"Sorry" Beca says with a quick shrug to follow "Chloe's hot"

"Thanks baby" Chloe moves toward her and kisses her cheek before moving up off the bed to start gathering books off the desk.

Watching Chloe doing anything was something that relaxes her, or even when the redhead does nothing. She could be asleep and Beca would stare at her and feel calm. And maybe her father scares her so much that she'd rather push Chloe away first before he can hurt either of them, or tear them apart. It may actually be time to grow the hell up and live without his guilt money.

* * *

It takes her less than a week to get a job at the campus café, and it was pretty clear that Chloe was unhappy about it at first, but it didn't take her long to make her girlfriend feel better about the situation. It was most likely going to end in her being fired within an hour for punching someone.

Chloe showed up on her first shift, which was simultaneously cute and annoying. Cute because Chloe is just the best, and annoying because it caused her to get flustered and mess the order up completely on the register, so that resulted in her pushing every button to try and find a delete. By the end of the whole ordeal, the register started beeping at her until her workmate came over and reset everything with a really annoying judgey stare.

And it isn't like she could say 'So what? I get weird around my girlfriend sometimes, it's fine. Girlfriends are good' because she was in a public place and saying that outloud anywhere is just too awkward.

Chloe's smirk said everything she already knew. It was like a huge neon flashing sign saying 'You're adorable, Becs' and she _hates_ that sign. How she became this borderline ho to an awkward blushing mess again, she'll never know. She thought she was past this after she first met the redhead. Maybe it was because she kind of felt like they were strangers in this moment, Chloe hadn't talked to her like they knew each other, just came in and started ordering as if she was a stranger. And so Beca got a little thrown off by that, yeah. That's why she was so flustered before.

Beca leans down onto her elbows on the counter next to the register as Chloe stands a few feet away waiting for the coffee. "Hey" she says in a hushed voice and turning her head up to motion for Chloe to come closer. "Can I get your number? You're totally hot"

"Cole?"

"Mm. Sorry." Chloe shakes her head and keeps her voice in a whisper "I have a girlfriend. She looks a lot like you though"

"So I'm just your type then. More reason to give me your number" Beca smirks as she leans up on her hands and moves over the counter more. "Or we could just make out a little"

"Oh yeah? I don't think my girlfriend would like that"

"Order for Cole"

"I can tell you right now, she'd totally love it" Beca smiles wider when Chloe takes a pen off the counter and starts writing on a napkin. Score. She just got her own girlfriend's phone number. When Chloe hands over the napkin, she looks down at the message 'I'm in love with my girlfriend, GFY' Beca furrows her brows slightly and looks up at the redhead "G.F.Y.?"

"Go F yourself" Chloe says with a wink. Beca laughs softly and shoves the napkin into her pocket, then she hears that damn name again and looks down at the screen.

"Ah. Right here" Beca says to the barista and wants to die all over again. When she looks at Chloe, she groans and starts bending her knees to sink behind the counter and hide. She can hear Chloe talking to the barista and saying 'It's actually Chloe. Thanks!'

The girl walks around the counter to look down at her kneeling on the ground, so she reaches up quickly and starts moving packets of coffee around from under the counter on the shelves. "You can't spell 'Chloe'?"

"I can spell Chloe. I just.. I went too fast and put the L after the O"

"And left out the H."

"Whatever dude, I'm new at this, okay?"

"You're new at spelling?"

Beca huffs and the girl, who she's pretty sure is named Jennifer walks away from her. "This is shit" she mumbles to herself.

* * *

Her embarrassment rose again when she got back to her dorm and found Chloe sitting on her bed with a book and smiling up at her as she walks across the room to climb on the bed and sit next to the redhead.

"Hey baby. How was work?"

"It was…. eventful. How was your day?"

" _Well_ I met this girl in a coffee shop that totally wanted to hit this. I had to turn her down because she thought I was a dude" Chloe smiles widely and Beca raises an eyebrow with a confused look and then realizes this is about that damn 'Cole' thing.

"It was an _easy_ mistake. The register obviously has autocorrect or something" Beca says, grunting as Chloe chuckles at her excuse.

"Because my name is totally weird" Chloe leans over and kisses her cheek gently before moving back a little "Why aren't you happy that I totally rejected your twin?"

"Because I'm sad that you did it. You should have gone for it. I could have sexed you in the back room or something. It might have made the shift more enjoyable" Beca smirks and turns her head, resulting in their faces being inches from each other.

"You'll never learn how to spell names if you just have sex with me at work, babe" Chloe leans forward and quickly pecks her before moving back to settle against the wall. "It's C. H. L. O. E. by the way"

Beca sighs loudly and grabs the book to throw it across the room and kiss Chloe the way she needed to.

* * *

Beca knew that this dinner could go either way. She'd been working for almost a month before she decided to bite the bullet and tell her father to stop sending money. She had to just make sure she was secure in the job first. Only he was talking so much to Katie that she hadn't had a chance to cut in yet. Or maybe her nerves were keeping her from speaking. Either way, her stomach was tense with anxiety as she waits for a break in the conversation.

"I have a job" Beca says when her father shoves food into his mouth and silences himself. "So… I was thinking maybe you don't need to like..send money anymore" she says to him, holding her breath as he swallows.

"Well that's good that you're independent, Beca. Where are you working?"

She releases her breath quietly "The campus coffee shop"

"Oh no. No, Beca. There's a homosexual who works in there, I've seen him a lot and he's always refusing help. I won't allow it"

Beca sucks in a long breath so she doesn't stab him with a fork. A few moments pass before she speaks again "Well…. _sir._ I'm working there, as a job. Not a homo cult"

"I hope you're not talking to _me_ with that tone"

"I'm just saying that I have a job and you're saying I can't work there because a gay guy works there?"

"A faggot, Beca. A faggot works there and he will convert you back into your disgusting ways" He says, throwing his fork onto the plate with a loud clang. She swallows back the lump in her throat and sits still as he leans in closer. "Does Jesse agree with this? Does he allow you to be around the fornicating homosexuals?"

"It's just a job" she says quietly, keeping her eyes on her glass of water.

"You'll get a different job. I have a friend who needs some help in his office. You can work there with his God loving staff. Not around these faggots"

Beca breathes out slowly and holds her hands against her thighs to stop herself from shaking at his gross display of homophobia. "I'm going to stay there. This is my independence, not yours. And there's really no need to call them that. They're human"

"You're saying you plan on staying with these people?" His voice starts getting more threatening and she looks up at him slowly.

"It isn't like you're going to give me money while I'm there, why is it such a big deal? I'm my own person"

"No! You're the Lord's person! Get up!"

Beca tightens her jaw and starts to rise off her chair. He was faster to get up and pulls on her arm to drag her away down this familiar hallway and pushes her into this room, which Beca has dubbed the 'God's punishment' room. There was a huge shrine, crosses everywhere, pictures and cards of Jesus and religious Saints. He shoves a Bible against her stomach hard and she takes it and opens it to Leviticus, which is always the one he makes her start on. "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female, it is an abomination"

The longer his silence fills the room, the more nervous she is about the beating that he was going to lay down on her, but she keeps reading. For close to an hour, or maybe even more than an hour. The room has no sense of time in it and the only way she can tell is by how much of the book she's actually read.

She turns to look as the opening door casts light into the room, and it's her step-mother looking in at her father for a moment before moving back out and leaving the door open. He takes her arm again and starts leading her out of the room. The silence and weirdness of this whole situation starts making her worry grow. He never takes her out of the room without saying 'Amen' first.

He leads her into the bathroom and her eyes immediately fall to the bathtub, along with the bible and cross sitting on the floor next to it. "On your knees beside the tub, Beca"

"Why?" she says, only for him to grab the back of her neck and start forcing her down onto her knees and dropping the bible from her hands before she bends over the tub. "Dude what the fuck are you doing?"

"Beca, you have demons. And this is proof through your profanities and your lackluster reading of His verse. Your love for Jesus Christ shines through in all you do, for there are many that will see the hope of Christ in you. We thank the Lord for you for bringing you here to us to be saved, to be baptised in His precious name and walk on in His grace without more sin"

* * *

Being held under water is definitely the most frightening thing she's ever experienced. She has no idea how long the ordeal lasted, or how many times she was pushed under. All she knows is that she swallowed way too much of the water and almost fucking _drowned_. And the water was cold.

She was too busy being pissed off to think about how close she came to actually losing consciousness. He pulled her head out a while ago and said some kind of prayer along with an 'Amen' before telling her to dry herself and join them again. He walked out, leaving her choking and coughing to regain her ability to breathe. She didn't bother drying off, she opened the bathroom window and stops when she hears the door open again.

"Bec?" It was Katie. She sighs loudly with relief and turns around to her step-sister. "Are you okay?"

"Uh.." Beca moves her hand up and down to motion at herself "Not exactly"

"Yeah… sorry" Katie grabs a towel and holds it out to her, which she takes reluctantly and starts drying her hair. "I don't know why you challenge him like that when you know how he reacts"

"Because at some point, enough is enough"

"We just...have to push through it anyway, Beca. His teachings are harsh, but he just really believes"

Beca drops the towel onto the floor and stares for a moment at Katie "Does he do the same to you?"

"Sometimes I'm not a model Christian" Katie says, leaving it at that.

Beca knows she's supposed to be controlling her anger, it was a huge problem for her to lose it and hurt herself. Only this time it wasn't easy to control and when she reaches for her phone in her pocket, she doesn't feel it. Her eyes dart around the bathroom and land on the black square at the bottom of the tub. And now she doesn't have Chloe to stop her from pushing past Katie and walking out into the hallway, then directly into this pathetic excuse for a _prayer_ room and ripping the framed pictures off the wall to start throwing them across the room into a wall.

Her anger was only intensifying with each shatter of the frames, and the shrine was next to go down. She flips the table and hears her father's booming voice yelling at her as he rushes towards her. Which is the moment she picks up the table and throws it. And it was surprisingly easy to do, also easy to knock him over with it.

"Motherfucker!" she says as she starts picking up the stupid porcelain figurines and hurling them at him as he gets up "You fucking pathetic freak! You hit her too? Do you get off on it or something? Thinking you're all fucking God loving and shit. Bitch you're a fucking sad loser"

"Beca! Stop this, we need to get you back into the bathroom!" He says, dodging the flying objects as he moves closer and tries to grab her arm. She knees him in the groin and causes him to strain and fall onto his knees, then she punches him in the cheekbone.

"Ow! Fuck." Beca shakes her hand after the pain rings through it, and you'd think she'd have a better pain threshold after all the things she's punched before. She leans over his body as he cradles his groin with his hands "Dude, you're seriously the worst fucking believer in the world if you think that this is the way you get people to be followers. _Listen_ to your God, don't just make shit up about what _you_ want him to say… Asshole."

As she walks out of the room, the crunching was the only sound over his groans and pleas for Beca to stop and find the light or some crap. Her step-mother moves out of the way of the door as walks out and notices Katie hiding her smirk. She points down the hall and raises an eyebrow in question to ask if Katie wanted to join her walk out, only getting a shake of Katie's head in return. She nods softly and continues her walk out.


	24. Chapter 24

Chloe was in Beca's room, as usual, and writing out her thesis for her Russian Lit class, only when she saves it to put onto her drive, she has no clue where it went. It wasn't in the Documents folder, so she clicks the subfolders. Right up until she finds a folder named 'Chloe'. It does have her name on it, so that technically means she owns it.

Just to be safe, Chloe sends a text to Beca saying 'Can I look in the folder with my name on it? I wasn't snooping, I don't know where your documents save to, also I need to know that because I've lost my thesis'

Each passing moment seems to raise her annoying urge to a new level until she tries to call Beca's phone and only gets the voice message. A groan escapes her, Beca's phone must have died. Even though she did remind her girlfriend to charge her phone this morning. Beca's always forgetting simple things like that and only notices when the phone was needed but dead.

In order to avoid making Beca annoyed, she shifts forward towards the edge of the bed and picks the laptop up off her legs when she stands. The folder was still staring at her, whispering to her like a little devil on her shoulder. It couldn't be _bad_ stuff in there, surely. As she walks over to the desk, she clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth a few times and puts the laptop down on the desk before she moves the cursor over the folder and double clicks.

The folder was full of song files, a _lot_ of song files. She scrolled for ages before hitting the bottom, and they were all named with dates instead of words, so she clicks on the last song and can't recognize the beat, but when the words start, it was Talking Body. She rolls her eyes at the typically sexual song Beca chose to save and switches back to the folder while the song plays.

She pulls the chair over to sit down as she clicks the next song and recognizes it right away as Breathe on Me. Another dirty song. She sighs loudly and switches back to the folder to click the next one, going in descending order and waits for the long intro to stop, which was a good intro. Then she smiles because Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg starts and she really starts to wonder why Beca's been so inspired to make so many sexual mixes.

The dates of the last few songs show that they were all made yesterday, so maybe Beca was just in the mood and got it all out in song form instead of booty-calling her. Which is kind of disappointing, really. It was probably because it was Chloe's night. They were having alternate sexy nights where she'd make Beca stay controlled and all lovey and nice. Then the next night was more of an exciting sex night, which was obviously Beca's night because the romantic love making thing really doesn't seem to be her girlfriend's thing. It was a good compromise though. And she really didn't mind, it kept things _very_ fun.

The next song had the same date, and it actually startles her when she hears the start of Ed Sheeran's Photograph that mashes up with Taylor Swift's This Love. She squeals and claps at the change of pace and turns it up before leaning back against the chair and closing her eyes. As soon as the song finished, she opens her eyes and moves forward quickly to click the next one and hears I Really Like You, along with Vogue. Which was surprisingly amazing.

The door swings open and hits the wall behind it, startling her into jumping up to stand and look at Beca, who has wet hair and clothes. Beca moves in and shoves the door closed as she rushes toward her "Why are you we-" Chloe gets cut off by Beca's kiss and pushed backwards, feeling the chair wheeling off to the side as she steps back and lands against the wall in their heated kiss.

Beca's body dips slightly, turning her head lower to continue the kissing. The airconditioner behind her starts buzzing as Beca's body moves up again slowly. She groans lightly into the kiss and turns her face away to break the kiss, which only sends Beca's mouth to her neck "Bec… what happened?"

The brunette moves off her neck for a few seconds to say "Almost drowned" Then the kiss against her neck returns along with a graze of Beca's teeth, and she isn't sure which part made her take a sharp breath in, the shock of Beca almost _drowning_ or the bite. The brunette moves away after biting at her to continue "Kicked him in the balls" and then a tongue hits her neck and trails up the length until it reaches her jaw and moves away "And I trashed his stupid prayer room"

"What? How di-" Beca cuts her off again with another kiss and holds the back of her neck to pull her into a deeper kiss that leaves her lips burning when the brunette pulls away and smiles at her.

"I came _this_ close to telling him about us, and if I wasn't so fucking freaked by the idea of him hurting you, I would have" Beca's hands move to the wall behind her head and keeps the brunette in a pose that leaves her trapped there.

"You kicked him? What happened? How did you go from dinner to drowning and then kicking him and trashing a room?"

Beca pushes off the wall and starts pacing around the room in some kind of blissful hyper that makes the brunette's arms start moving with the words "I just… we were talking over dinner and he decided to start calling Mark at work a faggot and I was like that's bullshit I'll work where-ever the fuck I want to, right? So he decided no, I'm so not allowed to work around all these homos, because that means I'll be a homo. Well fucking pity for him, I'm pretty much as gay as Mark is. Anyway, so he had this pathetic excuse of a baptism to release my defiant demons and shoved me underwater. Which, by the way, not fucking fun" Beca turns to point at her and returns to the pacing "And then I talked to Katie and she was like _dude he totally does that to me to_. So I just walked into his God room and started throwing shit around because I couldn't call you. Then he came in and I just…" Beca slows down the pace and turns back to her again, looking a little less happy and more worried "Threw a table at him and kicked him in the balls. Shit"

"I… think I have… more questions than before" Chloe's head was swirling as she tries to catch up to all of the new information that leaves her against the wall in a stunned silence. "So… what happens now? Will he come after you? Should we like…"

"I don't know, really. I guess we'll wait and see. If he _does_ come, I'll just have to kick him again. I mean that bitch went down. I hit him again, too" Beca skips forward to her and takes her hands. "Dude this is good though. I mean we might actually be able to like… split away from him and just… you know, be out"

"But what about college? How are you gonna pay for it? I'm pretty sure your three shifts a week isn't going to be enou-"

"Well my tuition is basically covered, I have a free ride here. So all I really need is just money for food and living. And those three shifts are more than enough" Beca's voice drops lower as the brunette leans in closer to kiss her again. "And then we can move to L.A. and live happily ever after"

"Are you sure you want to write him off completely? What about Katie?"

"Yeah, it sucks that she didn't walk out with me, but I don't think… she's there yet. Plus she's actually kinda close to her mom, so it's probably harder for her to leave. I dunno. Hopefully they both just gang up and kick him out now. And I… really" Beca kisses her again "Want to live with you forever" Another kiss and then Beca leans back with a wide smile, which she returns and moves off the wall to hug her girlfriend tightly.

* * *

Three months go by and Beca's father still hasn't had any contact, although they've all seen each other on campus, he just seems to actively avoid Beca, and vice versa. She wasn't worried about it completely, Beca's been more than happy without him around, but she's not completely convinced that her girlfriend won't end up apologizing and falling back into his abusive hands.

They've been going out more in the past few months, not completely as a couple, that depends on location. The club and a few restaurants out of the way are the ones they hold hands and hug. Beca was still worried that he'd find out and blame everything that happened on Chloe and do something that'll really set the brunette off.

But the best part is that _they're_ happy. Beca's problems only seem to start rising when he's around, or if the nightmare thing comes up, and it has a couple of times, but she can calm Beca back down again a lot easier now that Beca's been seeing an actual therapist. The church thing hasn't really been happening since they got back together, it seemed to be just a filler of time for Beca, but it was pretty obvious the brunette needed a little more help again, so she suggested a therapist and it worked. Especially for Beca.

Chloe was sitting in the café watching Beca working, and now that it's been about four months, her girlfriend was totally a professional at the register. Although she was still only known as 'Cole' here, which basically became an alter-ego for her to hit on Beca as if they were strangers. It was strangely hot to pick up your girlfriend all over again using different lines.

Still, going to the café and watching Beca actually talking and _smiling_ at people was one of her favourite things to do now. Not just to make fun of her girlfriend for being turned into such a social butterfly, but because watching Beca be all cute and nice was fun. Beca was someone she could be proud to tell people 'That's my girlfriend' and smile forever. Beca's her girl.

"You're being weird again" Chloe hears, snapping her out of her love daze to look at Aubrey, who was sitting across from her the whole time.

"Sorry, Bree." she says, giving Beca another quick glance before she looks down at Aubrey's book splayed out on the table and points down at a picture "I've been having trouble with this one, how is that even about a family?"

"Don't you study? It all has connections"

"But _how_ "

"Okay. Why do you insist on wearing those fugly plaid shirts?"

"They aren't fugly. They're adorable" Chloe frowns and looks down at her arm with the sleeve of the shirt covering it. "I wear it sometimes because it's Beca's and I like it"

"Exactly. No one else around here knows that, but you do. And this guy didn't paint this thinking _Jeez. I wonder if Chloe will get all these hints_."

"Pff. Just because he didn't paint it with that in mind doesn't mean that it isn't confusing"

"The Eagle wings and bust are German heraldry from his mother's family side"

"It still just looks like a weird mix to me"

Aubrey huffs and closes the book with a judgmental stare "You're just mad because you're as dense as your girlfriend"

"I am _not_ dense." Chloe takes a drink of her coffee and looks over at Beca after a few moments "And neither is Bec"

"Took you long enough" Aubrey mumbles, making Chloe give her a side-eye glare and a growing smile.

"Lets go out tonight. A double-date!"

"Ugh. The last one just ended in you two bailing early to go have sex"

"Sshh!" Chloe leans across the table onto her forearms to whisper to the blonde "You can't say that so loud"

"Oh I'm sorry. Did I say Voldemort's real name? I think not. We'll go out with you as long as you don't end up banging in a cab after half an hour"

Chloe nods and holds her hand out to shake on the deal and smile widely. "To the club?"

"Might as well, it's one of the places you guys _can_ make out" Aubrey says as their hands move back. The blonde looks over at Beca and stares for a moment "There's really been zero problems since she basically took her father down?"

Chloe shakes her head when Aubrey's gaze returns to her and picks up her coffee again "She's been like… I can't even tell you how amazing it is since she left. It's like she came back a different person. Maybe that horrific baptism really did save her"

"That's….a disturbing way of looking at it, but always look on the bright side, I guess" Aubrey reaches up to collide their coffee cups together. "Cheers to having our girlfriends stop being jerks"

"Cheers to having _great_ girlfriends" Chloe says before she takes a drink and smiles over at Beca again, catching the brunette's smile back at her before turning back to a customer. "She's so hot, Bree"

"Ugh"

* * *

Their nights at the club were a frequent thing because it was their comfortable area. The one where Beca doesn't have to feel nervous in. And they'd always have a blast in the club together, and with the other couple there as well to add to the fun. Chloe did eventually teach Beca _some_ form of dance, but making that girl catch any kind of rhythm was as difficult as getting Amy to do cardio. The good part is that Beca was actually trying to learn, and she was a good teacher if the student was willing. And Beca was only really willing to learn the dances that get them really close to each other, which is sort of how they ended up leaving so early the last time.

Chloe did keep her distance on the dance floor this time, for a while anyway, Beca's attempts to move her closer wore her down after a while and they ended up kissing on the dance floor, which was the first sign that this was going to end early. Chloe has a lot of control over Beca's swaying moods, up until the point she herself loses control, or just doesn't reel Beca in quick enough. And this was one of the moments where she breaks the kiss and takes Beca down a few notches by turning around and pressing her back to the brunette's body to give them a breather.

The moment killer _almost_ didn't work when Beca's hands kept roaming, and a few smacks of the brunette's hand and pushing at them gave the hint away that this wasn't going to end so early. She felt the laughter against her and turned around to find Beca smiling back at her and nodding knowingly. It thrills her when Beca doesn't try to push for sex anymore, and it maybe that's because it works in Beca's favour so often, she usually ends up jumping on top of the brunette and pushing for the sex herself.

Over the next couple of hours, Chloe may have lost track of the drinks that she had, and ended up a little buzzed, but she wasn't the only one who was drinking. Stacie was on her level and just about ready to mount Aubrey. Chloe was leaning in to Beca's ear, whispering all of the dirty things she could think of to make the brunette blush, which very rarely did anything at all. Beca's eyebrows would just raise and then she'd hear 'You're super drunk'.

She wasn't _drunk_ drunk. She was just buzzy. Like a bumblebee just flying all slow and cute and never stinging anyone. Chloe may be a little drunk. As they were walking out, Chloe hugged the back of Beca, moving her legs with the brunette's to keep herself attached, right up until the point when she licks Beca's ear and forces them to stop so her girlfriend can move away and make her sad.

"Dude" Beca starts, and her frowning continues as she steps closer to the brunette. "Hey now. We're on the street, this is a safe zone" Beca's hands move up to stop her walking, which doesn't matter anyway because Aubrey grabs her arm and starts pulling her along. "Thanks" she hears Beca say, making her huff unhappily and grab Beca's hand, which the brunette allows.

"You just have to know how to get Miss Dopey here to move when she's drunk, otherwise you're going to end up bent over a car" Aubrey says, and when Chloe looks over, she sees the couple on her other side holding hands as well, which means they were walking in a whole line of handholding and it's just the cutest. Lucky Stacie and Beca are on opposite sides. Buttheads.

"To be fair, this is actually the first time I've seen her drunk" Beca replies, and Chloe looks over at her girlfriend with a wide grin.

"Thanks baby"

"I...wasn't aware that was a compliment?" Beca says with a confused look, making Chloe giggle in her state and face forward, locking eyes with a familiar face coming towards them and causing her to throw Beca's hand up and let go. "I was so not"

Katie comes toward them with two girls and looks at her confused, then over at Beca "Hey. What's going on?"

"Nothing just… having dinner with these guys" Beca says, and Chloe tries her best to not look like she's been drinking, but trying to act sober when you're drunk just makes you look _more_ drunk.

She drapes her forearm over Beca's shoulder and smiles at Katie. "We had sushi. I like raw fi-" Chloe mumbles the rest of her word against Aubrey's palm and starts getting dragged back.

"Excuse her, she's a little inebriated" Aubrey says while pulling her further back and making Stacie follow, probably by glaring at the girl or something. Aubrey's scary.

"Your friends are odd" she hears Katie say, and she purposely stays quiet and watches the two girls talking, noticing Katie's friends looking at the surroundings and then nudging Katie when a couple walks by, two _obviously_ lesbian girls with their arms around each other.

The uncomfortable silence between Beca and Katie could have been heard from a mile away, and she goes to walk over, but Aubrey catches her again and all she can do is watch Beca's back as Katie notices how close they are to a club called Cock Or Two. And yes that's the club they were at, but Katie hopefully won't notice that they had just walked out of it.

"Well we should probably go" Katie says, at least that's what it sounded like before Beca nods and turns around to them with that 'Please get me the hell out of here' look that finally makes Aubrey release her.

She walks over quickly and waves as Katie passes her "It was nice seeing you again!" she says, slightly slurring as she speaks and making Katie smirk at her with a raised eyebrow. She turns back to Beca with a questioning look and waits for the brunette to finish staring at Katie leaving.

"Do you think she knows? Should I say something?"

"Um…. do you _think_ she knows?" Chloe says, narrowing her eyes in suspicion at Beca for some reason.

Beca looks down and back up, raising the hand with the stamp on the back, which is a picture of a penis. "I mean this isn't exactly something a straight club would have, right?"

"Well…. no, but you _could_ say you like gay guys. Or you wanna help turn the gay guys into straight guys because you're so hot you could do that" Chloe says, reaching her arms up to Beca's shoulders and causing the brunette to jump back from her. "Sorry"

"Just… I know you're drunk and all, dude. But can you just relax a little? It's bad enough knowing she could go home saying she saw me outside a gay club, and then what, Chloe? Then my father's gonna show up and try to drown _you_ for turning me gay"

"Pff. He won't drown me, he'll probably crucify me or something" Chloe waves at the air, to throw the whole preposterous idea away. "If he can catch me. I'm like _super_ fast. I can out run Bree"

"No you can not" Aubrey says from behind her, which she smirks at and shakes her head slightly with a wink to Beca.

Beca smiles slightly with a small huff before turning to carry on in their walk. "Dude this is fucking shit"

"It'll be fine. I don't think she'll say anything, she seems nice"

"She's had the Bible rammed down her throat, and then went to Bible _College_. She's gotta be some kind of homophobic" Beca sighs and Chloe looks down at the back of Beca's hand stroking her forearm. When she looks up at the brunette, Beca looks kinda sad. Chloe gives her a smile and an air kiss, making her girlfriend smile makes her feel better already.

"If she says anything, I promise to kick her butt" Chloe says, feigning offense when Beca snorts at her.

"You wouldn't hurt a thing. You'd probably feel bad if you stood on a leaf" Beca says, then Aubrey laughs and makes her actually slightly offended that these two are ganging up on her now.

"I can stand on a leaf! I'll stand on _all_ the leaves. I'll show those leaves who the Queen _C_ is. Get it? C? Because my name is Chloe" She nudges Beca a little too hard and sends her girlfriend stumbling a couple of feet away from her. "Oh, sorry baby" Chloe moves forward and grabs Beca's head in a hug, which ends up being a headlock because Beca tries to get out of it in an awkward sideward way, but Chloe wasn't quite ready to let go.

"Oh my god, Chloe. Will you let her go? We're almost at the car already, _then_ you can attack her" Aubrey says while trying to pry Chloe's arms off her girlfriend, which makes her bring her leg up over Beca's back and start to climb Mt. Mitchell.

The only thing she could hear from Beca was a lot of yelling mumbles because one of her arms seems to be covering the brunette's mouth and gagging her.

"Chloe get down!" Aubrey grabs her sides and snakes an arm around her stomach to try picking her up, so she wraps her legs tighter around Beca, thanks to Stacie's motivating laughter. "Oh my god! Beca just walk forward, she isn't going to let go"

"You're damn gay" Chloe says, squeezing her legs around her girlfriend "Giddy up Becs!" she says over Beca's constant complaining mumbles. It takes her girlfriend a whole three steps to trip up and send them both to the ground, and thanks to her arms being around Beca's face, she protects that face she loves to stare at so much, but falls onto her hand in a really stupid position.

* * *

Five hours later and she's back at Beca's dorm room with a fractured wrist and a lot of painkillers. Which Beca was in charge of, because alcohol and painkillers don't mix, she isn't allowed to have any until she's had more water and started to sober up enough to start dying from the pain. This is that moment.

Apparently breaking your wrist is really damn painful, and it really will be the last time she climbs _that_ mountain. Even though Beca was being adorably sweet to her.

Beca hands over the bottle of water and two of the pills. Just two. This was insulting to her pain, but she takes them and puts them into her mouth before taking the bottle and drinking the pills down. Beca leans down and kisses her forehead, which stuns her into looking up as the brunette moves away to give her a weird look. "What?"

"You're cuter than usual" Chloe says, narrowing her eyes slightly "Whyyyy"

"Because you're hurt and I feel bad that" Beca says while turning around and walking to the desk chair to sit. "It's kinda my fault"

"It's totally your fault, you and your baby horse legs"

Beca snorts and laughs at her "You're the one who was all over my back, okay. It was kinda easy to fall with such a heavy weight on me"

Chloe opens her mouth in shock "Are you calling me _fat_?"

"I am _so_ not calling you fat. You're just heavier than I am, so I'm gonna… struggle" Beca's throat clears nervously when she looks away to stare at the wall and avoid the brunette's gaze. "You're seriously not fat, Chloe. Or heavy. You're like super light. I have baby horse legs, completely unstable on these things"

"I'm not talking to you ever again" Chloe humphs and moves her legs up onto the bed to lay down and look up at the ceiling.

She hears Beca's light sigh, then sees the brunette moving to stand next to the bed, so she turns her head to the side away. "Chloe, please. I really didn't mean it"

"You're gonna have to kiss it better"

There's a long pause, and it's probably Beca's confusion. "Kiss… what better? Your feelings?"

"Yes. Kiss my better feelings" Chloe says, drawing in a long breath and letting it out in a happy sigh when she feels lighter. A _lot_ lighter.

"You mean… kiss your feelings better?"

"Mm. Yes. Right in the feelings" Chloe closes her eyes and smiles when her body starts floating away, even though she still feels her back against the mattress still.

"Are you high right now?"

"I'm horny right now. You wanna do it?" Chloe opens one of her eyes when Beca starts laughing so she can turn and look up at the brunette.

"Not while you're off your face, no. But thanks for the offer" Beca bends down to her and Chloe opens her other eye to get a better look of the brunette, and it's either the hard painkillers, or the way Beca makes her feel, but her heart swells and fills her stomach with butterflies as she stares up into Beca's dark blue eyes. "You're definitely high, your pupils are basically making your eyes black"

"Maybe I'm just totally evil and you're my sexy evil minion who I wanna bang all the time" Chloe reaches up and puts her whole hand over Beca's face before sliding it down and trailing her fingertips down her girlfriend's face until it drops off back to the bed.

"Thanks…" Beca says, giving her an odd look before standing up again.

"No! You have to stay here or I'll cry"

Beca sighs and turns around again, and the pills _seriously_ throw her mood sideways, sending the tears into her eyes as soon as she said the word 'cry'. Beca's face drops into a worried look before the brunette moves down quickly onto the bed next to her. "It's okay. I'm like.. right here, okay?"

"You're the best, baby" she says, wiping at her eyes with her one good hand before rolling onto her side facing away from Beca. Her smile takes over her face when she feels Beca's arm wrap around her and move closer until their bodies were pressed together in a floaty cloud of cute.

* * *

Chloe spent the next few days basically off her face and followed around by Beca, who took on the role as her second hand. Or second and third hand, really. Beca was pretty much doing everything for her except following her into the toilets and doing things she can do with one hand. This made showering _very_ hard to get through without having sex. They haven't had a shower without it getting dirty yet, but it's only been a few days. Maybe one day it won't end up with Chloe biting back a hundred moans a minute. They have about six weeks of showering to get it right. Or wrong, because sex is _awesome_. Sex with Beca is awesome.

Although sex with Beca now just involves her being on the bottom because she can't hold herself up. But a few times she's incorporated the wall, that was nice. She gets why Beca likes the wall thing now. At least her broken wrist was her left one and not her right, that would have been sad for Beca, also for anyone trying to read her handwriting. And she could still sing, so that was an even bigger relief.

"Baby?"

"Hm?" Beca replies from the desk. Her girlfriend was paying a lot of attention to the laptop at the moment in study mode.

"I texted Aubrey to babysit me tomorrow" Chloe says, staring over at her girlfriend and smiling when Beca looks at her.

"Why? Did I do something? Am I too rough?"

"What? No. I just.. I don't wanna be annoying, and it's gonna get super annoying to keep doing everything for m-"

"I want to" Beca says in an odd desperation that moves the brunette across the room to sit in front of her on the edge of the bed. "I like it"

"Really? Why? I'm basically just making you do everything for me"

"It… I dunno, kinda makes me feel like a husband or something"

Chloe blinks a few times in confusion and tilts her head slightly "A husband? Baby you're a girl"

"I know I'm a girl, believe me. I have checked plenty of times" Beca smiles and starts crawling on the bed towards her. "I just… feel useful when I'm helping you. Like… supportive useful"

Chloe leans her head back against the wall and smiles softly "I didn't know husbands were useful and supportive. I thought they just drank beer and watched sports"

"Oh, that'll happen, don't worry. Right after you're all healed and able to make my sandwiches"

Chloe laughs softly and reaches up to Beca's cheek "Should I get your picture frame changed to say 'Best Husband Ever'?"

"Uuh… nah. Might as well leave it, I am a girl and all" Beca moves forward again and presses their lips together for a moment before moving back and staring into her eyes again. "I love you. And I want you to stay here so I can keep looking after you"

Chloe nods and pats her hand on Beca's cheek before dropping it back to the bed and watching her girlfriend move back off the bed to return to the desk. "I love you too, Becs"

"I know. Who wouldn't?" Beca says, throwing her a quick glance and a smile.


	25. Chapter 25

The loopy redhead ended up asleep after about two minutes, giving Beca enough time to finish reading the latest email from her father, which basically just outlined the reasons why she needed to go back and get saved. She hadn't told Chloe about the emails he's been sending, she didn't exactly want her girlfriend to freak out on her about the way the dinner went when she last actually saw him.

The first email he sent actually had him apologizing for the baptism being so scary for her, and she started thinking that maybe he _didn't_ intend on drowning her that night. Then his emails started coming in weekly, and then two to three times a week until it was daily. Sending her prayer verses and asking for her return.

She didn't want or need to go back there, every time she's with Chloe, which is basically all the time, she's at her happiest. Plus, she only _just_ learned how to use the cash register at work and she'll be pissed if she has to find a new job. Although she doesn't actually plan on letting him make her leave, he always found a way to make her listen.

She never replies to the emails, which may be why he keeps sending them. And the stupid part of her doesn't actually mind them, at least she knows he still wants to talk to her. The thing that keeps her actually away from the guy is that she can never really remember a time when he made her happy in any way. The last time she was happy was when her mother was alive, ever since then it's just been an uphill battle.

When Chloe groans slightly in her sleep, she pushes the chair over to the side of the bed to look at the redhead and make sure she didn't have to give Chloe a refill of painkillers. Her girlfriend's smiling face and closed eyes tell her she didn't need to get the pills again. Beca's eyes fall to the cast around Chloe's wrist and tug at her heart. She shouldn't have moved.

She feels horrible for letting Chloe get hurt. Really horrible. The half good part is that drunk Chloe has a high pain threshold and didn't cry, although there was a lot of whining and groans. Understandably. She did break Chloe's wrist. She broke her girlfriend's wrist.

She recognizes the feeling that she has, and she knows exactly where it leads her. The swirling in her stomach builds an anxious anger in her, but she can't take her eyes off the cast. Her eyes close tightly and she tries the counting technique. Making it all the way to 50 before she has to stand up and start pacing and taking deep breaths. If she leaves the room, there's two ways this could go, and both of them end up with a lot of pain. And she can't exactly wake Chloe up thanks to the painkillers, so she was left here to try and control herself.

The longer she waits for the moment to pass, the more intense her need for a release gets, and it ends up at the point where she moves to the door and freezes when she hears Chloe's light sleeping hum. Her hand moves off the door hand and she turns around to look at the sleeping girl across the room, she watches again for a few moments before her gaze drops and she moves across the room to pick up her phone and send a text 'You busy?'

 _'No….. why?'_

'I need you, can you come over here?'

 _'I'll be there in a few'_

Beca sighs softly and puts her phone on the desk again, then moves across the room to the door and waits while she watches Chloe sleeping.

The light knock pulls her out of her gaze and turns her to the door, when she pulls it open she smiles softly and moves out of the way to let Aubrey walk into the room.

"What's happening?" the blonde asks quietly after seeing Chloe.

"Is it okay if you just like… hang here? I just need you in here" Beca says as she closes the door and tries not to look as thrown out of place as she feels.

Aubrey starts eyeing her weird and turns away to walk over to the bed and sit on the edge before brushing hair off Chloe's face. "She's amazing isn't she?" Aubrey asks in a hushed voice.

Beca swallows and moves across the room to sit on her desk chair before she offers up her quiet answer "Yeah, she is"

The blonde leans over Chloe's body and holds herself up while watching Chloe with a sigh "So what's going on to make you need me in here? Is it this?" Aubrey points down at the cast and looks up at her, just in time to see her swallow the nervous lump in her throat. "You know it isn't your fault, right?"

"I just needed some company" Beca says as she spins to face her desk and laptop.

Aubrey scoffs and stays in the protective stance over Chloe's body. "You're full of shit, Beca. But you did the right thing calling me over here instead of calling Stacie over here"

"Well, she wouldn't come over. I already tried her" Beca says, feeling her body start to burn up again.

"You better be lying"

"Nope. Isn't that good though? Your girlfriend isn't as easy as she was before. Sucks for me though" Beca keeps her shaking hand busy on the mouse trackpad as she listens to Aubrey's silent anger rising. Moments go by before she hears Aubrey's sigh, and when she looks over at the blonde, she hadn't affected the girl in the slightest, or Aubrey was hiding it well.

Aubrey was looking back at Chloe again with a soft expression and staying quiet.

"I miss fucking her, you know" Beca hears another sigh and spins on the chair before standing up and looking over at the blonde. "That little thing she does right before she cums is hot. Like that little gaspy moan thing"

"I suggest you shut the fuck up" Aubrey says sternly while moving off the bed to approach her.

Beca's nerves heighten in her stomach and she's one step closer to hurting herself. "And how about that thing where she rides against y-" A stinging against her cheek cuts her words off after Aubrey _slaps_ her. Which was not what she expected from the blonde. "Really? A bitch slap? I fuck your girlfriend all over campus and you give me a bitch slap?"

"You're lucky I don't kick the shit out of you, but I guess that's reserved for your father to do"

Beca curls her fingers up into a fist and squeezes before she releases it again. "And you're lucky Chloe found us out, otherwise I'd still be inside your girlfriend every night right after you"

That one earns her the punch she needed and when she stands back up straight, the blonde shoves her back against the desk. Her nerves settle more when the blonde rushes towards her, finally granting her the punishment she was seeking. Aubrey grabs her arm and pushes her face first against the wall, bending her arm behind her and raising it until it burns with pain in her shoulder and makes her grunt. "I swear to your stupid fucking God, if you say one more fucking word about her"

Beca clenches her jaw for a moment with the strong pain in her shoulder and breathes out hard before giving up completely "I'll fuck her again the next chance I get"

"What are you doing? Aubrey? Stop!" Beca feels the weight moving off her and stays against the wall, dropping her pained arm to her side and swallowing as she hears Chloe again. "What the fuck are you doing to her?"

"She was being a fucking asshole about Stacie! Saying she wants to fuck her again"

"Beca?" She stays in the position against the wall and closes her eyes tightly. "Bec"

"I was. She's not lying" she says, swallowing hard when she moves her arm just to feel the pain fading away already, leaving her need burning again. "Just go"

A few moments go by and she hears the door opening and closing again, then she releases a long breath and moves her hand up to the wall to make a fist, only to have a hand grab it. "Beca, don't. Talk to me"

"That's the fucking _problem_ Chloe. All I do is get you hurt, with my words and now _physically_. All I so is just.."

The hand moves to her shoulder and pulls at her until she reluctantly turns to face the redhead. "Okay. _This_ " Chloe raises the cast up between them "Is not your fault. I was the one climbing all over you, this is all my fault"

"But I couldn't ev-"

"It doesn't matter if you can walk with me on your back or not, Beca. It's still my fault. I was drunk and wanted to use you as a pony. You didn't get me hurt. And I'm kind of pissed off at you for calling Bree in just to use her as an excuse to get yourself hurt"

Beca sighs softly and drops her gaze down to Chloe's casted wrist returning to the redhead's side. "I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For everything" Beca raises her eyes again, catching Chloe's annoyed head shake

"Then I don't accept it. There's only one thing you should be sorry for. Or two things, really. Bringing Aubrey in here, and waking me up to see my best friend seriously close to attacking you"

Beca nods at the redhead slowly "I'm sorry for waking you. And calling Aubrey in here to hit me. I didn't…. that wasn't my intention at first, it just… I lost it. I'm sorry"

"Tell that to her tomorrow. Lay down with me and just...stay calm"

"I will. I promise. I will"

* * *

The whole time Chloe was asleep, she was awake. Just staring up at the ceiling or looking down at the cast and falling further into her anger with herself. Her father was right, she does need saving. She needs saving before the damage she does to Chloe is worse than just a broken bone.

Plus she treated Aubrey like shit. And she was _so_ close to getting what she needed. When morning hit, she sent the blonde a text asking her to come to the café so they can talk when she has her break. Only the blonde never showed, unsurprisingly.

"What was going on with you today? You haven't made _that_ many mistakes since you first started" Jenn asks as they sit together outside on a table.

"I dunno. Just feeling blah, I guess" Beca looks out at the passing people, still expecting to see the blonde show up, but their break was all but over anyway.

"No sleep again?"

Beca huffs and smiles slightly "Yeah, sort of"

"You should probably take it easy on the all nighters. It'd suck to see you get fired because of your all-night sex ragers"

Beca looks back at Jenn with a smirk and shrugs "Can't help it if I have a high sex drive and a really...really hot .. _boy_ friend"

"Riiight. Yes. Cole is very hot" Jenn says with a smile before turning on the chair and standing. "You know what they say about redhead's. No soul means freak in the bed"

Beca stands up after the girl and smiles as she looks around the area one more time. Jenn was one of the only people who they could trust in the workplace, which is lucky, because Jenn was the one who walked in on her and Chloe making out in the storage room. Which yes, gross around people's coffee, but the coffee is all in bags anyway. "You're not wrong. Redheads are definitely freaks"

"Is that who you're expecting to see? Why hasn't she visited yet?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe she just got busy studying or something" They both walk back in together and around the counter, which is when she looks over and sees Aubrey _and_ Chloe walking. She sighs loudly because they _just_ missed her break. "Speak of the Devil"

"Remember to keep it in your pants" Jenn says before walking away and leaving her standing behind the counter to wait for Chloe and Aubrey to approach.

"Hey" Beca says when the girls get to the counter

"Asshole." is the first thing Aubrey says. "Black coffee, no sugar. Try not to fuck it up like everything else" Then the blonde slaps money on the counter and walks away from her, leaving Chloe looking sad in front of her.

"She's still upset"

"Yeah.. I got that" Beca says, picking up the money and handing it over to Chloe. "Usual?" Chloe nods and takes the bill from her. "I just finished my break"

"I know. I was trying to get here faster, but she's kind of a jerk today"

"To you?" Beca looks up from the register and over Chloe's shoulder at the annoyed blonde.

"Not to me, Beca. Don't do that" Beca's eyes immediately drop back down to the register after Chloe's anger block. "Baby, you need to fix this. I don't want you two mad at each other, and I really don't want you to be acting out again. Do you feel any better?"

"Honestly? ..Yeah. I feel good"

"You're lying" Chloe states, and when she looks up, the redhead's disappointment punches her right in the chest.

"I've been keeping something from you" Beca says quietly, and when Chloe's gaze drops to the counter, she leans forward and talks quieter "It isn't anything like that, it's my father"

Chloe draws in a long breath and looks down at her as she leans forward. "What about him? Did he call you?"

"Not...exactly. He's been emailing for a while and just saying all that religious shit that he does. He wants to save me, so he says. Because I'm living in the land of fornication and sin and it isn't healthy"

"Do you think Katie told him?"

"Nah. He's way too relaxed about it to know that I'm.." Beca stands up straight again and changes direction in her mind before she says out loud in a café that she's gay. "I'll talk to Aubrey, I promise"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry. It isn't like I answer them, he just keeps sending them" Beca shrugs and moves a few things around on the counter to busy her hands and mind.

Chloe sighs softly and turns away from her to walk over to Aubrey. Her shoulders slump slightly at the redhead's rejection and all she can do is watch the two girls talking quietly. Then Aubrey sends a glare over in her direction and makes her turn away.

The girls ended up outside and making it harder for her to watch her girlfriend, who was clearly upset with her about not talking about her father's emails. Which is ridiculous. They're just fucking emails. And Aubrey's attitude is making her exceedingly annoyed. Her fingers drum against the counter as she watches out the doors to see the girls walking away without even a wave.

Beca's heart starts thumping harder and she looks over at Jenn for a few moments longer than she should and snaps her head back to look at the counter before moving away from it "I'm going to the bathroom" she says, and half of her _needs_ Jenn to follow. Which makes her hand connect harder with the tile after she shoves her way into the bathroom door. "Fuck. Fuck"

Her hands move up to cover her face for a moment and she releases a long breath before reaching down and turning on the hot water, noticing the red marks on the back of her hand already, which she washes off with the searing hot water as she holds her shaking hand under the stream. She looks up at herself in the mirror and stares for a moment "You're the true definition of evil. You're a Demon. You're never gonna be saved"

"Heavy stuff" Jenn says, making her pull her hand out from the water and jump back. "Sorry. I need to pee really bad and you're losing it, so just give me a minute and we can talk"

"Seriously? You don't have to make excuses up to fuck me. Lets just do it" Beca says, moving closer and stopping in front of Jenn. Who just stares back at her blankly as she moves closer and stops. She can't feel anything except an overwhelming guilt and cringes before moving away with a groan. "God damn it, what the fuck is wrong with me?"

"I dunno, Beca. But I really do have to pee" Jenn moves into a stall quickly and locks it louder than necessary. She sighs and turns around to the sink, looking down at the heat and considering turning it back on again. "You really didn't follow me in here?"

"No, legit had to pee and then I found you in here talking to yourself and saying you're a demon. Which, by the way, really weird"

Beca leans forward onto the sink and sighs "Yeah.. Sorry about the whole… moving in on you thing"

"It's cool. I think you should know that I'm straight though"

"What? Seriously? You think Chloe's hot. You say it literally every time you see her" She turns around and sits against the sink after the toilet flushes and Jenn walks out of the stall.

"Yeah. I have eyes, you're both hot. That doesn't mean I want to have sex with either of you" Jenn says while moving to the sink next to Beca. "So I'm glad you stopped"

"Me too. I'm really just.." Beca looks down at the floor and over towards the door "Just a horrible person"

"I think you're being a little hard on yourself. You stopped. How does that make you horrible?"

"Because I keep fucking hurting her, dude. I broke her wrist and then tried to make out with a straight girl" She leans forward and groans before pushing off the sink.

"How the hell did you break her wrist?"

"By being a weak loser" She presses her fist against the tile and shakes her head "I make her angry all the time and just end up hating myself because I don't get the right… punishment for fucking up" She bumps her fist against the wall lightly, her anger passed already and just left her feeling worthless and stupid for trying it on with Jenn.

"What's the right punishment? Do you expect her to break _your_ wrist?"

"Sometimes I wish she would"

"That's dark"

Beca shrugs and looks over when the door swings open to see Mark looking back at them.

"You bitches better hurry your asses up, we have customers in here and I'm so not doing this alone" He says before letting the door swing shut again.

"Maybe you should go talk to her. Mark and I can handle the last hour" Jenn says, patting her shoulder as they walk out of the bathroom.

"Yeah. I don't think she's even interesting in ta-" Beca freezes when she sees Chloe to the side of the counter staring over at them walking out of the bathroom. Together. She lets out a strained breath and walks over to the redhead, glancing over the counter at Jenn as the girl walks to the counter to start taking orders from customers. "That wasn't-"

"It's fine. I trust you" Chloe says, making her gaze fall before she draws in a deep breath

"I think I kinda figured out what the problem is" Beca looks up to Chloe's narrowing curious eyes and she swallows the lump before nodding to the side and walking out with Chloe until they're heading towards the dorms.

"What about work?"

"Jenn's covering for me. It's really… I need to talk to you about a few things. And the most important one is my apology for not telling you about my father"

"I get why you didn't tell me. By the sound of it, he hasn't changed. So why worry me when all I'm going to say is _kick him in the balls again_ " Chloe's fingers brush her forearm as they walk, making her look over at the redhead "What do we need to talk about that made you leave work?"

"Let's just… talk about it in the room, okay? I can be real with you in there. It's like...safe or something"

"It's your closet" Chloe says quietly.

The rest of the walk back was quiet, Beca fell into her mind to try and find the right words to say to try and explain to Chloe how she really feels inside whenever shit gets darker. She never really _had_ to process it all so hard. Or maybe her therapy really is working for her, she's noticing things now and talking seems to make her realise what it all means. Not that it made any of it better, but at least it was out there.

When they get into the dorm, Chloe walks right over to the bed and sits down, looking up at her in expectation for her to just blurt it all out right away. Beca stands there in the middle of the room, frozen in her anxious fear and staring right back at her girlfriend.

"So…?" Chloe's impatience with her was starting to show, pushing her further back and making her look away.

"I just need to think" Beca says as she starts to pace around the room and run her ringers through her hair. Chloe falls silent and watches her moving, then moves up from the bed to stop her walking and snap her out of her mind. "Sorry"

"It's okay, Bec. Just talk to me. I won't run away, no matter what you tell me"

"Yeah…. don't say that too fast" Beca looks down between them and swallows the nerves back before speaking "I hurt myself after you left, and then I kinda just went temporarily insane and tried to put the moves on Jenn, but I stopped. I didn't" She looks up into Chloe's blank stare and draws in a sharp breath "I talked to her though, and I think I get why I keep like… being so fucked up"

Chloe nods slowly and moves away from her to return back to the bed in a weird silence and ends up staring at the floor instead of her.

"I'm not used to having no big consequences when I screw up. And your version of punishment is just...all mental. Whe-"

"I don't _need_ to punish you, Beca"

"I know, but I-"

"But you what? You think that because you treat me badly, I don't get to be upset about it? You didn't tell me your father was emailing you for how long? And now you're trying to kiss people? What if you didn't stop?" Chloe's anger shines through, and she sees the tears welling up in her girlfriend's eyes, filling her heart with more pain.

"But I _did_ stop. That's good, right?"

"Yeah. That's fantastic, Beca. Fantastic that you could still consider sleeping with someone just because I'm mad at you. You're really making huge strides" Chloe says, moving up off the bed and going for the door.

"Please just wait" Chloe stops and huffs before spinning around to her. "I hate myself when I'm like this. When I'm at my most comfortable with you, it's like...the best feeling in the world, but then I hit a low and then say something shitty and you get pissed, then I need… I need punishment that isn't you just ignoring me"

Chloe furrows her eyebrows and turns her head slightly in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"That means… I'm used to having the shit kicked out of me and I need you t-"

"I am _not_ going to abuse you. If you ask me to, I will leave right now"

"No. I'm not. I don't want you to hit me. I just...I want you to like… I want you to help me get tired. Not in a sexual way, I just…. you know, you do that running thing in the morning and I was thinking maybe you could help me get into burning off steam that way"

Chloe's body language settles quickly with a long exhale "Beca, you really need to work on the way you say things. You scared me"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. I don't mean to do any of this. I'm just… still a fuck up. Always gonna be one" Beca says, shrugging and spinning around to move to the desk and sit on the chair, leaning forward to lay the side of her head on the desk and look over at Chloe. "I wish I could be good for you"

"You _are_ good for me. Most of the time. You spend months being happy and adorable. Why is it suddenly just getting to you now?" Beca drops her gaze to the cast to answer Chloe's question. "Baby. I don't know how many times I need to tell you that this isn't your fault"

"It feels like my fault"

"It _isn't_ your fault. I was drunk and all over you. Or have you had that memory sucked out of your brain?"

"I know how it happened, okay. I let you fall"

"Seriously? You let me fall? It wasn't the fact that I was practically climbing over your head anyway?"

"I was too fucking weak, okay?" Beca moves up and smacks a bottled water across the room from the desk, sending it into the wall with a loud thump and then to the floor.

Chloe looks over at the bottle for a few moments in silence and then back at her. "I won't stick around if you get violent, Beca. With yourself, or with me"

"I know" Beca leans back against the chair and covers her face with her hands. "I'm sorry" she says against the bottom of her palms. "I can't stop blaming myself"

Beca moves her hands away from her face when she feels Chloe sitting on her lap and finds the redhead staring at her "You need to stop, the more you do it, the worse you feel. And then you lash out and hurt yourself more, and physically. I can't… deal with that. I'm not going to watch you hurting yourself, Beca"

She moves forward and wraps her arms around Chloe, hugging her girlfriend tightly and clenching her eyes closed. "Don't leave me"


	26. Chapter 26

Chloe was stuck. Her mistrust in Beca was worming its way back in since Beca tried to kiss Jenn. And even though nothing happened, there was an urge in the brunette that made the kiss _almost_ happen. And then Beca had the audacity to tell her that it was because she was upset. So now every time she's upset, she can't voice it because Beca would just run off and do something stupid.

She spent the next night in her own dorm with Aubrey, taking the burden of care off Beca. It may have been a horrible thing to do, but she really did need the space. Beca came extremely close to falling off the deep end, this was her heart on the line _again_ to someone who wasn't moving past the abuse.

Chloe spent the night before bed sending Beca different exercise routines, and then they talked for a while over message. So she wasn't _completely_ leaving Beca. And part of her wonders if she would leave even if Beca _did_ get violent towards her. She was far too in love at this point and even spending nights away from her girlfriend was killing her.

When the morning rolls around, Chloe was already sick of the distance and as she was walking down the corridor towards Beca's dorm, she looked up at just the right time to catch her girlfriend's face and notices the hesitation on Beca's face fading when she holds her arms out and attaches herself to Beca's front in a tight hug that may or may not end up squishing her girlfriend.

Beca was the first to start moving away slowly and she smiles as soon as Beca's face comes into view. In a quick movement before Chloe can react, they're kissing. Beca's kissing her in the corridor. Chloe pulls back after a moment and stares at Beca in a stunned silence. Which seems to be matched by the brunette.

"Sorry" Beca says, shrugging off their location and smiling. "I don't really care anymore"

"You don't care that your father is going to freak?"

"No, I mean… I don't care to hide us anymore. If that means I get my ass kicked, so be it" Beca's nonchalant attitude at the possible abuse makes Chloe turn her eyes away and chew at her lip. "Don't be upset. Please. I just want us to be okay again"

"We'll be okay again when you can control yourself. Not when you get yourself hurt again" Chloe gives Beca a small smile before she walks around the brunette and continues on down the hallway.

* * *

She hates avoiding Beca. Especially when this just gives Beca the freedom to lash out and make stupid mistakes, and it'll only be a matter of time before the mistake is another girl. She spent the rest of the day avoiding her girlfriend again, wasting hours that she could be spending in Beca's arms instead. All because her girlfriend was a giant dope.

She knows it isn't Beca's fault. There was a way that the brunette thinks that's just completely different from her. Beca was a total pessimist, always jumping to the worst conclusions and acting on or saying things before thinking.

It was fairly late, she she'd been in bed for a while staring at the cast and talking to Aubrey, who was also in bed for a while until she tried to focuf on sleep.

There was a quiet knock at the door a little while after their silence and Chloe looks over at Aubrey in the dim light, getting her questioning look given right back to her. "It'll be one of our girlfriends" Aubrey says, reluctantly getting up and walking to the door.

She couldn't quite make out the mumbling words being said and assumes it's Stacie at the door until she sees Beca moving into the room and approaching her while Aubrey shuts the door and returns to the bed on the other side of the room.

"Hey. I know's late, I just needed…. I needed to see you"

Chloe sits up quickly and watches Beca sitting on the edge of the bed looking blank faced. She couldn't figure out how her girlfriend was feeling. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's okay" Beca glances across the room towards Aubrey's bed before shifting closer to her and talking in a hushed voice "I miss you. A lot. And I'm sorry that I keep saying the wrong things"

"I don't think you really are, Becs" she says in a whisper "You _want_ to be hurt, and that scares me. A lot"

Beca sighs softly and nods at her "You're right. I'm not used to good things, and it's been so long now that I just…. I feel like it's too good to be true, like I'm one second away from having you ripped from me"

"Beca, the only person who is ripping me away is you. You're pushing me away because you're worried about losing me. Does that make sense to you?"

Beca shrugs slightly and looks away from her to stare at the floor "Sorry I disturbed you" Chloe reaches forward as Beca starts to stand and makes the brunette turn to look at her.

"Stay here with me?" Chloe watches Beca's face soften and moves to the other side of the bed as Beca nods and starts taking off the major items of clothing, leaving her girlfriend in a shirt and underwear before climbing in and laying next to her.

She moves closer to the brunette, draping her casted arm over Beca's stomach and resting her cheek on Beca's shoulder with a soft sigh.

Beca's hand moves to her elbow at the end of her cast and starts stroking her upper arm slowly "How's your wrist?" the brunette whispers.

"It's okay. Still hurts, still taking only _one_ painkiller" Chloe huffs lightly and nuzzles closer to Beca's neck.. "I missed you in the shower today though"

"Oh man. That's really sad to hear. I'll make it up to you in your next shower" Beca's hand stops stroking after a few moments and moves to her cheek as Beca turns and leans back to kiss her, tilting slightly and moving forward to get her onto her back.

Chloe groans softly and pushes her good hand against Beca's chest. "We can't" she whispers, glancing over at Aubrey's bed.

Beca looks in the direction and returns the gaze with a smirk "Just be super quiet" Chloe gives her a threatening look and narrows her eyes slightly, and the growing playful smile may have ruined her chances at making her girlfriend stop. Beca stays above her on one hand while the other starts at her neck, trailing fingertips down her skin lightly and slow. "Every time I see you, I fall more in love" Beca whispers, leaning down closer "I wish I could just… be out with you and do everything a normal couple does"

"We do already, just.. not for everyone to see" Chloe reaches up to Beca's cheek and bites at her lip when Beca's hand starts travelling onto her chest, causing her to bite her lip and sigh when it reaches her breast, making her heart beat rapidly.

"I'm still awake." She hears Aubrey say from across the room, and Beca clears her throat loudly before rolling off her.

"Sorry" Beca says, looking at her with a cringe and making her smile and move forward to kiss her girlfriend's cheek quickly before turning to her side with her back to Beca so there's no more urges.

* * *

Chloe wakes up to the smell of coffee in the air and opens her eyes to a dressed Beca standing across the room whispering with Aubrey. She sits up slowly and cringes slightly at the ringing pain in her wrist before she rubs at her face with her one good hand.

"You okay?" she looks up at Aubrey's question and finds both of the girls staring at her.

"Yeah, I just need a painkiller" Chloe swings her legs out from under the covers as Aubrey moves across the room, being watched by Beca as the blonde gets the pill bottle.

"Beca got you coffee, it's over here" She looks away from the brunette to the desk and leans over for the coffee cup, only to have her hand smacked by Aubrey.

"Not until you've had your painkiller" Aubrey says, holding the pill out to her and then a glass of water, which wasn't just magically prepared. Aubrey seemed to have one every four to six hours just in case she needed a painkiller. One of Bree's crazy control things.

"Thanks Bree" she says after swallowing the water and handing the glass back and smiling over at Beca. "And thanks for the coffee, baby. Even if _someone_ is holding it hostage"

"I'm not holding anything hostage. I'm just being worried for your pain management. Is that so bad?" Aubrey hands the coffee over to her with a small smile before she moves across the room. "So since you two are going to shower together, I'm going to go shower now and avoid all the moaning when you two get in there"

"I can't help being good at what I do" Beca says just before taking a drink and looking over at her with those eyes. And now she just wants to beat Aubrey into the shower.

"Gross. That's a little too much information. Just like hearing you two almost get it on last night" the blonde says while picking out an outfit and piling clothes onto the bed.

"We didn't almost get it on, we didn't even get to kiss" Chloe says with a sad sigh and bringing the coffee cup to her mouth to drink some, and Beca getting her order right makes her almost a little too giddy, even though it's been months and Beca really _should_ know it anyway.

"Yeah. It sounded like you were being kissed, just not on the mouth" Aubrey picks up the outfit and towel. "So if you two decide to go in the shower, stay far away from mine"

Beca huffs out a laugh as Aubrey walks out of the room, leaving the brunette to walk over to her and take her coffee to put them both on the desk and lean down to kiss her a couple of times before their lips part into a deeper kiss that leaves her moaning softly and laying back with Beca following.

* * *

"Keep your arm over there"

Chloe groans and holds her arm back out while Beca's hands roam over her covered in soap and really putting her in the mood. Even though Aubrey just walked in on them totally getting it on in the room and embarrassed Beca for eternity. "It's hard to. I'm used to my hands both working" Chloe says as she trails her fingers down Beca's upper arm.

"We're focusing. I'm all focus. You're not snapping me out of my focus" Beca says with a hard swallow. The hands against her stomach move to her sides and turn her around quite roughly. "Just… stay there"

Chloe chuckles softly and turns her head to the side to talk "Baby, you should just touch me. Get it all over with and focus later"

"Get it all over with? And you say I'm not romantic" Beca's hands start massaging soap over her back slowly "I'm fine. There are no urges here. Not one"

Chloe smirks and closes her eyes for her own focus, letting out a soft moan as she slides her good hand up the tile to stop it in front of her face and press it to the wall.

"Okay… none of that. Focused" Beca's throat clears quietly and she can almost feel the hands against her back shaking.

"You have _really_ good hands, Becs. I need them in better places though" Chloe smiles when Beca sucks in a sharp breath and grabs her hips to move her off the wall and into the stream of water to rinse her down as she faces the brunette. Beca's cheeks were turning red, and she knew her girlfriend's desire was at a 9, so she moves forward and kisses Beca, holding the back of the brunette's neck and pulling them against each other.

Beca moves against her until she's pressed back against the wall, she hadn't noticed her casted hand moving to the brunette's shoulder until Beca breaks the kiss and looks at it, making her smile and take it away to hold it against the wall. "You're not allowed to get it wet, Chloe"

"I know, I know. I just get excited. You kiss too well. Stop being so good at it" Chloe leans in again, pouting slightly when Beca's head moves back to avoid the kiss.

"I'm just gonna keep your hand controlled by _not_ kissing you" Beca's hands attach to her sides and start moving up slowly "Or I ca-"

"Beca?" Both of them freeze when someone calls out to the brunette from outside the shower stall. "Is… are you in there with a girl?"

Beca moves back slightly and whispers to her while pointing at the curtain "It's fucking Katie" Chloe's breath catches in her throat and Beca turns slightly to talk out loud "Ah.. Yes. But only because Chloe has a broken wrist and needs help in here"

"Yeah…. it sounds like you're _really_ helping her out in there. I didn't actually believe John at first, but then when I saw you guys coming out of that gay club… an-"

"Dude, what?" Beca moves over to the curtain and looks out from behind it. "I wasn't at a gay club. I'm not making out with anyone, okay"

"Pff. Please. I wasn't born yesterday. I went to _Bible_ college."

"Yeah! Exactly"

"An all-girls Bible college? Where they situated us way too close to the boys college. And when the girls weren't being hormonal and experimenting with each other, we'd sneak out and experiment with the boys"

"Ew, Katie. Can you shut the fuck up? I really don't need to hear this. I'm not...we aren't-"

"Stop being such a prude. You're clearly in love with each other and getting it on in the shower"

"I am not!"

"I just told you I'm not a virgin and you're still denying having a girlfriend"

Beca sighs loudly and moves back into the stall, holding the curtain closed and turning around to look at her with a silent question for permission, which was sweet of Beca to do. She nods at the brunette, who turns back around and looks out the curtain again. "Okay fine."

"I knew it! I totally knew it. You and Jesse have zero chemistry, and you're obviously whipped by Chloe"

She huffs out a laugh, she could almost hear Beca's unimpressed look.

"Thanks. Now can you go away?"

"Yes I can. Enjoy your shower sex" She hears Katie saying, and then hears the girl again "It's nice to meet you unofficially, Chloe!"

"Thanks! You too, Katie. I can't wait to _actually_ meet you" She replies as Beca turns around with an eye roll and a sigh, making her smile wider.

" _Don't_ say it" Beca says while moving back over to her and picking up the shampoo bottle.

"I didn't say a thing, babe" Chloe tries to cover her grin up as she moves off the wall to kiss Beca's cheek before getting under the stream again and wetting her hair. "I love you"

"Yeah, yeah" Beca squirts the shampoo onto a hand and Chloe smacks the back of her hand against the brunette's stomach, getting a smile from her girlfriend "I love you too"

* * *

Chloe was on her way to class, thinking about her morning shower with Beca, like right after getting it on in their dorm and being interrupted by Aubrey coming back. Which was hilarious to see. Aubrey was so dramatic whenever she saw people having sex, especially her. Chloe never cares if Bree gets it on in front of her. They're just bodies..with a lot of moaning.

So Aubrey flailed and practically ran out of the room until they put their clothes back on and went to finish in the shower with a lot of laughing.

Her thoughts get ripped away from her when a hand grabs her arm and turns her to throw her against the wall next to her, stunning her for a moment until she looks up at finds Beca's father in front of her.

"You stupid whore! How dare you turn my daughter into a disgusting sodomite" He moves closer to her and points his finger at her accusingly.

"I didn't-"

"Shut up! You and your spread open legs with the Devil's fruit. You shall _not_ lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination. _You_ , the Demon from Sodom and Gommorah here to take my daughter and turn her into the Devil. You're planting the seed with your wicked ways"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Chloe says, moving slightly to the side and getting another push against the wall.

"God condemns all homosexual acts. If you wish to be saved, you will come unto me and let his Holy light save you" Chloe's stomach drops and she almost vomits right there. John's hand grabs her jaw roughly. "You need a real man to fulfill you. Luke was obviously a weak excuse for a man"

Chloe pushes her hand against John's chest hard and manages to get some distance between them "You're definitely not a man. You're the real Devil here, thinking you're preaching God's word and only causing pain where-ever you go. Isn't He against adulterers too? Or did you just forget all about that part"

"Don't talk to me Demon!"

"I'm _so_ glad Beca's nothing like y-" Chloe's head turns quickly with the loud and hard slap against her cheek, and when she looks back up again, she sees John's eyes full of rage, directed right at her.

"You _dare_ to say her name! I will cure you, Chloe. You will stop committing the sin of fornication among your homosexuals and be free once more of your evil ways" John's forearm presses against her collarbones, pinning her hard against the wall. "You must take Him in and release the detestable sin that is your behaviour"

"No. Get off me!" Chloe shoves her hand against him again and he picks up the casted hand, holding it up in the air between them

"You see this? This is the sign from the Lord that you're a sinning whore in need of saving!"

She cringes at the movement and slaps his cheek as hard as she can, which ends up with her being backhanded and sending her head to the side. She waits a few moments and feels the weight off his body moving away quickly, her eyes move to the side to see John being taken down to the ground and punched a few times, sending blood spurting across the floor from John's mouth before the guy turns around to look at her. It was Jesse, and he grabs Chloe's arm to start them walking away quickly.

"Are you okay?" Jesse says as they move in a fast pace.

"I'm… I don't know" Chloe says, looking over her shoulder at John starting to rise to his feet and watch them walking away. "He knows about Beca and me" She says as she looks at Jesse.

"I know. Beca called me when she couldn't find you"

Chloe looks ahead as they walk and feels the growing anxiety for Beca's reaction. "We can't tell her"

"We have to tell her" Jesse says, glancing over at her. "She might flip out, but we can't keep it from her"

"She won't just flip out, Jesse. She got angry with you just for touching my knee, if she finds out he hit me and got...weird. I don't know what she'll do" Chloe looks back over her shoulder again and finds the man missing now, then she looks at Jesse again "I can't lose her. Not to herself or to him. We can't tell her"

"What if he tells her? What then? She's just going to be hurt if you keep this from her. This is a huge deal. Her father just hit you, Chloe. He wants to hurt you"

Chloe turns away again and pulls her arm away from Jesse's hand "Fine. I'll tell her, but I don't know if I'll be able to keep her anger in check"

"I'll be outside, if she flies out, I'll catch her and we can put her in a cage"

"I know you're joking right now, Jesse. But that might actually be needed"

* * *

Chloe was sitting in Beca's dorm with Jesse, both of them were silent and trying to process while also thinking of ways to talk Beca down before the brunette even showed up. Chloe's mind was a tornado of thoughts. Beca's father got really scary, then gross and assaulty, back into scary again. If Jesse hadn't shown up, anything could have happened to her.

And now she has to worry about telling Beca, who was definitely going to freak out. The scariest part about this is not knowing how far this is going to go. Beca might step over the edge and really do something stupid, and she can't risk that happening. She has to put it delicately and leave out all of the bad stuff.

As soon as the door swings open and Beca rushes in the room, Chloe stands off the bed and gets taken into a hug.

"Jesus, I was fucking worried. Why the fuck weren't you answering your phone?"

"I didn't have it, I must have left it in the room. I'm sorry" Chloe keeps her arms tight around Beca, refusing to let the hug end so she doesn't have to face telling her girlfriend.

Beca must have noticed the hesitation and held tighter onto her. "It's okay, I'm just worried that he'll hurt you. I'm not annoyed"

Chloe opens her eyes and sees Jesse moving out of the room, causing her stomach to drop. Her eyes start stinging with tears and she takes in a long breath before releasing her grip and moving back slightly, leaving her arms draped over the brunette's shoulders as they stare at each other. "I need to talk to you"

"Really, I'm fine. Like it's good that I'm out now. Maybe he can fuck off to Washington and leave us alone. I feel kinda good about everyone knowing now, you know? Even though he's probably gonna-"

"Stop" She says, and Beca listens to her, even though the brunette looks confused by her request. "I need you to listen to me, okay. Just stay calm"

Beca's arms drop away from her immediately and the expression on her girlfriend's face changes to steely. "You've already seen him haven't you"

"Beca, just-"

"What did he do" Beca stands completely still in front of her, even when she moves forward again into another hug.

"Please don't"

"You either tell me now, or I'll find out for myself"

Chloe swallows her nerves and moves back again, taking her hand off Beca's shoulder to wipe at her tears falling. "Don't-" Beca huffs and starts moving away, prompting her to grab onto Beca's wrist and pulling on it "Stop! Don't! I'll tell you, Beca please"

Beca stops and turns around again, and when her gaze drops to Beca's hand, it was balling up into a fist. "Well?"

She looks up into Beca's eyes and chews at her lip for a moment before talking quietly "He saw me going to class and stopped me. He just went all preacher on me, it wasn't a big deal"

Beca stares for a few moments and reaches up to both of her cheeks, holding her in a staring competition with Beca's blank face. "I need the truth, Chloe"

Chloe hesitates for a few moments before nodding slowly "He called me a few names and... " She looks over at the door for a moment and back to Beca "He slapped me"

Beca's silent blank stare scared her more than it Beca would have hit something and taken off. The staring was ominous and started to reach its breaking point after a minute. "He hit you."

"I was rude to him, he ju-" Beca starts moving again, and Chloe clings to the brunette's wrist tighter "Don't. Beca"

She falters and takes a step back when Beca turns to her and moves close in a threatening way "Let me go right now, Chloe" She shakes her head quickly and keeps her fingers firmly wrapped around Beca's wrist.

Beca's hand moves to her wrist and pulls at her until she loses grip and has to move forward to wrap her arms around Beca. "Stop!" she says as Beca starts struggling out of her arms. "Please, baby"

A loud exhale comes from Beca and she gets pushed backwards roughly onto the bed. "Don't fucking come near me right now. Do you hear me, Chloe? Don't" Beca moves towards the door without even glancing back at her. Leaving her tears to start falling and hoping Jesse can stop her instead.


	27. Chapter 27

Had it not been for her father's voice message left on her phone sprouting off about how she's detestable and gross for falling back into her old ways thanks to the Red Demon, she never would have figured out what was going on. And she knows who was to blame. It was all too convenient for Katie to find out and then half an hour later, she's getting calls from her father.

As soon as Chloe told her what had happened, she was out of her mind. She shut down completely and had to get the fuck out of there. She knew where she had to be.

On her exit, Jesse moved in front of her quickly, and she didn't make an attempt to get past him. "What did you see?" she asks, seeing his face drop more.

"Do you want the whole truth, or just what you need?"

"All of it"

Jesse's eyes scan the area as he starts "I saw him against her, he was scaring the shit out of her. I didn't hear what he said, but it was obviously fucked up because she kept trying to push him away. Then he hit her pretty hard before I could stop him"

Beca nods slowly and moves around him, getting grabbed by his arm only makes her yank it out of his grip to keep moving. He follows behind her anyway, staying quiet. And she knows what he's doing. He's going to keep her in check, and it might be a good thing, she doesn't even know right now.

Her first stop is Katie's class, where she moves into during the lecture and scans the seats until she finds Katie moving up and out of the seat to greet her. She grabs her sister's arm tightly and guides them outside into the corridor, shoving Katie hard into the wall and failing at keeping her voice down "What the fuck did you tell him, huh? Why the fuck did you do it?"

"What? Tell who _what_. What is your problem?" Katie says, staying in the position against the wall.

Beca steps forward, and Jesse cuts her off from moving any more "Get out of my way, dude. This has nothing to do with you"

"Beca, think about this. What would Katie gain by telling him? He's just as fucked up to her"

"Get the fuck out of the way!" Beca shoves him too, making him stumble and catch himself before he falls against Katie. "Don't you think it makes fucking sense if I _just_ told her about Chloe, and then my father finds out?"

"Wait. He knows? I swear, I didn't say anything. I came here like right after my shower, Beca. You can ask anyone in there. I haven't even talked to him for two days. I wouldn't do that" Katie says, moving around Jesse to stand in front of her. Leaving herself wide open for Beca to hurt her.

Beca grabs the front of Katie's shirt and yanks the girl forward "If I find out you had _anything_ to do with Chloe getting hurt, I will kill you" She shoves Katie back again and starts moving away. Trying to figure out who the fuck told her father.

"Is she okay?" she hears as she moves away.

"She's fine. I gotta go" Jesse says, catching up to her quickly. "Beca, you need to calm down"

"Fuck off" she says. Her next stop was close by. And she doesn't give a shit that the room was full when she walked in and down to the front of the room where her father was waiting for her with a blank stare and a split lip.

"Beca, be an adult abou-" Her father gets cut off by her fist connecting with his cheek, and she swings again as soon as he moves back again. He grabs her arms and turns her around to hug her arms to her body tightly. "Stop it!"

"You fucking stop it!" She rapidly moves her elbow back and hits his ribcage, making his grip on her hands loosen enough for her to get free and punch him again, then she picks up the paperweight on the desk and swings it, only to be grabbed and pulled away before it lands. "Get the fuck off me, Jesse" she pushes her friend back and moves again, but Jesse picks her up in a hug and starts moving her back further as her father stands up straight and addresses the class of stunned people.

Jesse gets her outside of the room, and drops her, standing in front of the doors to protect her shit of a father. "Beca, you need to think about this before you do something stupid like hitting him with that"

"He fucking deserves it" Beca throws the paperweight over Jesse's shoulder, sending it against the door and putting a hole in it. "And fuck you for being such a fucking asshole"

Jesse had to dodge the flying object and looks up at her again. "Beca, stop. Think about Chloe. She doesn't want you freaking out like this"

"Don't fucking talk about her. He just fucking hurt her! And you think I'm just going to stand around and let it happen?"

"You're attacking him in front of like forty people in there! You could end arrested for assault, and then how are you going to protect her?"

Beca shoves him again and moves away quickly. "I fucking hate you!"

* * *

Beca's never felt this kind of rage before. She had no control over herself as she walked for ages just to get to her father's house. Her adrenaline wasn't fading in the slightest when she broke the window to get inside by throwing a brick through it and kicking at the shards before climbing in and picking everything up to start hurling everything across the room into walls and other objects.

"What are you doing?!" she hears, and when she turns around, it's her step-mother. The glass bowl in her hand flies across the room at the woman and smashes against the wall, sending her step-mother running from her and leaving her to continue trashing the living room. She grabs the flat-screen TV and pulls it down onto the floor before moving into the kitchen and catches her step-mother on the phone. "John, hurry!"

It was the perfect moment for a smirk, and she moves across the kitchen to the fridge, opening it to take out the milk and screwing off the lid to throw it into the dining area, then she takes out the first beer and pops the lid off before drinking some and looking at the woman staring back at her. "You know. You're pathetic for staying with him. He's beyond fucked at this point. Does he hit you too? Because he hits Katie"

"He needs to discipline you two. You're on a dangerous path of the Devi-" Beca cuts the woman off by throwing the beer into the wall right beside her step-mother and making the room fall silent again.

"You know who needs discipline? He does. And I have a really fucking perfect way to do it. So I suggest you get in your car and leave right now. Otherwise I might be forced to possess you with the evil spirit in me. Hail Satan and all that shit" Beca says as she gets out another beer and aims it for the kitchen window, shattering the two at once. When she looks back again, her step-mother was rushing out of the room already, making her smile. "Dumbass"

* * *

It took her father twenty minutes to show up at the house, and she could hear his crunching footsteps getting closer to her. As soon as he was in the Prayer room, she moves out from behind the door and kicks the back of his knee, sending him down and hitting him over the head with a lamp.

She moves quickly to tie him up backwards on the wooden chair in the room and waits far too long for him to wake up. He pulls at the ropes for a few moments as she watches from across the room. "You hit her"

He looks over at her angrily "Take these off me at once, Demon!"

"You hit my girlfriend"

"She is not your girlfriend. She is Lucifer in disguise, leading you into Sodom where you will be put to death for your sins. She deserves more than my hands against her face"

Beca's jaw clenches and she moves across the room, unravelling the belt from around her hand and reaching back before sending it forward against her father's back, making him yell out at the sudden contact. "What does she deserve then, huh? Does she deserve to be stoned to death?" She pulls back again and whips him again.

"Beca stop this!"

Beca winds up the belt around her hand again and punches him with it. "You're not my father. You're far too pathetic. I'm a demon, right? So if I'm a demon… why would you _want_ to claim me as your daughter" Beca says as she moves across the room to the newly built shrine. The candles all over it make her consider setting the room on fire. It'd be the end of a lot of shit.

"Beca, please. We can talk about this. I can save you both"

Beca draws in a long breath and picks up one of the glass figurines before whacking it against the edge of the table and breaking it in half. When she moves across the room behind her father, he tenses up and she pulls his shirt back to cut the back open. "Your teaching methods are fucked up. You beat me for calling you an adulterer. Now I get to beat you for being one. Who's the current one you're fucking?"

"Release me, we can forget all about this"

Beca throws the half figurine on the floor and releases the belt out again, letting it hang from her hand for a moment "Last chance"

"Beca" She swings her arm quickly, slapping the end of the belt against his back. "Her name is Emma!"

"Wow. That was fast. I got through all twenty of your lashings and didn't even break" Beca sighs loudly and looks at the mark on her father's back start to turn red. Then she furrows her eyebrows and looks up at the wall. "Wait. Emma as in Katie's friend, Emma?"

"We will be wed one day. It isn't adultery when I have plans to marry"

"You're already married, idiot. So yeah, that's adultery. Delusional dipshit"

"Don't talk that way!"

"Or what? You'll get your belt? So is Emma how you found out? What did she tell you?" His head moves forward slightly and she draws in a long breath "Three…. two.."

"Okay! She told me she saw you two at a homosexual club with your deviant friends and saw you two being disgusting with each other"

"Really dude? You're gonna say that now when I have a belt in my hand?" Beca slaps the back of his head. "Chloe's the best fucking person I've ever met. She's far too good for you to even look at. And you fucking _hit_ her. I should wrap this belt around your neck and choke you just like you did to Mom so many times. Before _you_ made her kill herself"

"She was sick, Beca. She committed a sin by taking herself from this world. That woman was too weak, she couldn't take the Lord's word because she was Satan"

Beca freezes for a moment, staring down at the back of her father's head. "What did you just say?"

"Your mother was taken by the Devil. You're just like her. Both of you taken by the Devil. You will join her in Hell"

Beca turns around again and picks up the other end of the belt, then she puts it over his head and wraps it around his neck. "You're detestable" she says just before pulling on the ends.

"Beca! Beca stop!" an arm moves around her chest and pulls her back, letting the belt fall and allowing her father his breath back. "What are you doing?" Beca stares down at her father and moves forward again, but the hand moves to her face, turning it and drawing her attention to bright blue eyes in front of her.

She stares into Chloe's eyes for a few moments, blinking back into reality "Chloe, what the hell are you doing here?" she says over the sound of her father's coughing.

"What are _you_ doing? You think this is going to solve anything?" Chloe looks over at her father and back again, shaking her head with a total look of disappointment, which makes her anger dissipate. "Becs, you need to stop"

Beca looks over at her father again and lets her gaze drop to the floor. She did go too far, way too far. "Okay" she says quietly. Chloe pulls her into a hug. Her arms wrap around Chloe's lower back in the tight hug that releases her tears onto Chloe's shoulder, leaving her to sob and cry in her girlfriend's arms. Minutes pass before she starts to regain control of herself "He deserves it" she says quietly, sniffing loudly as she holds onto Chloe.

"He does, I know. But you don't have to be the one to do this. Please don't be the one. I can't be without you" Chloe whispers into her ear. There's a long silence before Chloe starts to move back and looks at her as she starts wiping her tears away.

"Disgusting" Her father says, and now that Chloe's in the room, she can't get angry like she needs to. She can only feel sad. "You're both sinners"

Chloe turns back to her, probably seeing her glaring at her father again and grabs one of her arms to start leading her out of the room and shutting the door behind them. "What do we do?"

"I don't know" Beca wipes at her cheeks and looks over Chloe's shoulder at Jesse approaching them.

"What happened? Is everything okay?" Jesse stops near them and looks at the door. "Is he alive?"

"Unfortunately" Beca turns back to Chloe and steps forward to hug her girlfriend again. "I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Chloe's arms move around her again and there's a long silence before the redhead speaks again "We should leave"

"I can untie him" Jesse says, moving for the door. Beca moves away from Chloe quickly to stop him

"No. Leave him there. My dumbass step-mother can untie him. He can sit there and think" Beca felt oddly calm for just handing out a beating to her father. Even walking out with Chloe and Jesse, when she looks around the house at the damage she did, she didn't feel anxious about what was going to happen in retaliation. Because if he did _anything_ else to Chloe, she won't let herself be stopped next time.

* * *

After Jesse drove them back to campus in Aubrey's car, which Chloe basically stole, she still had no feelings about what had happened. The car ride was silent, other than the radio quietly playing songs. All she could do was stare at her girlfriend sitting next to her in the back.

There's a large chance that her father would lash out at her for everything she did to his house and him. But she knows about his student affair. Which reminds her to text Katie and tears her gaze away from the redhead to her phone 'I'm sorry for freaking on you. It was Emma. They're fucking' She didn't really feel bad for breaking up that friendship, that was fucking gross. He was gross, and she could end his career in a second, which she should.

As soon as the car stops and she gets out, all of her anxieties hit at once, but they were anxieties about being actually _free_ of her father. Free to be with Chloe everywhere, which just makes her nervous about screwing up again. Until the moment Chloe's hand rests on her shoulder and gets her to turn to look at the redhead. She was actually out now. She didn't have to pretend.

Beca reaches up and pulls Chloe's hand down to hold it and take a deep breath as she looks around the campus. It felt like her first day. "I'm just… going to walk. With you. My girlfriend. Around the college"

"Okay" Chloe says with a smile, when she looks back her next move is to turn to stand in front of the redhead and hesitate slightly before moving closer and kissing Chloe.

She moves back after a moment and releases her breath, nodding for a few seconds and gaining her confidence. "You're the best girlfriend ever"

"Because you've had _so_ many girlfriends" Chloe's playful smile makes her eyes roll.

"I hate to interrupt this special moment" Jesse says, getting both of their attention onto him. "Here are the keys" he says, holding out the keys to Chloe. "I'll leave you two to get it on out here" He stops to grab Beca's shoulder and holds her gaze for a moment "I'll keep an eye out for him"

Beca nods and watches as he walks away for a moment before returning her gaze to Chloe with a soft sigh. "I can't believe I did that"

Chloe was silent in contemplation, and it was almost frightening "I know. Me neither. The last thing I ever imagined seeing when I walked in was you choking him"

"He was talking about my mother, I just… lost it" Beca turns away before tugging Chloe's hand softly to start their walk. "I'm sorry, you know, for everything that I did"

"I get it. I didn't even want to tell you. Jesse kinda talked me into it. I was so scared that you'd…"

"And I did" Beca's hand loosens around Chloe's, making the redhead's hand grip tighter. She looks over and stares back at Chloe.

"I love you, Beca"

She waits a few moments before saying "But?"

"But nothing. I just love you" Chloe raises an eyebrow at her, and it was confusing to her that Chloe wasn't really upset at her for going mental and beating her father.

"You're not… gonna leave me?"

"As scary as it was.. you were defending me, and I hope that it'll never happen again, but I am okay with it. I won't leave you ever"

* * *

Beca isn't one for cardio. Exercise motivation just doesn't exist in her mind. But today seems to be an unofficial exercise day. Walking around campus, walking all the way to her father's place, then walking all over campus _again_ with Chloe. Although her girlfriend gives off so much energy that she had no problems keeping up with their walking conversation.

They had heaps of pitstops where Beca would stop them just to hug or kiss outside in public. Even though she had her lingering nerves about being out and having her father show up and perform exorcisms on them or something, she would always settle herself back down by remembering the day.

Chloe was totally shocked and grossed out when she brought up how her father found out about them. And when she was reminded of it, she looked at her phone to find the text from Katie _'I just confronted her about it. That's so fucked up. I'm so sorry that I let her anywhere near me'_

Beca hands the phone over to show Chloe the text and Chloe looks up at her with a questioning stare. "I think … I just wanna walk with you. I don't wanna talk about anyone except you. Tell me a story"

Chloe smiles wider and bumps shoulders with her before turning forward and taking a few moments to gasp and skip slightly "I know! This one time I was playing dress ups with Aubrey and we laughed so hard at her falling over that she actually peed herself" Chloe smiles proudly.

Beca cringes slightly and she scans the area to make sure the blonde wasn't appearing out of thin air "You know she's gonna kill you for that, right?"

"I know, but you need happy stories. One time I fell down a flight of stairs because I had these Barbie cars set up in a line and Mom called me down for dinner. I was excited for food and didn't think. Oh! And this other time, all of our friends were at the mall and you know those hot shirtless male models who stand outside stores to get-"

"Okay, different story. I don't wanna know where that one's going"

"It isn't _dirty_. Kind of. You'd probably let a group of girls give you a makeover. I should give you a makeover. I bet you'd look super hot in a skirt"

"I've decided we should talk about my crazy father again. What an asshole" Beca turns away to avoid Chloe's pleading eyes. Chloe sighs softly and lets go of her hand, and when she looks over, the redhead was moving behind her back and throwing both arms over her shoulders. "Oh god. Please don't break your other wrist"

Chloe chuckles quietly in her ear as they walk in a slightly awkward position. "I'm going to keep you distracted from the bad. Let's go back to your room"

"Ah… yes" Beca dips down and under Chloe's arms to start moving quicker, hearing the redhead's laughter behind her catching up slowly.

* * *

Her exhaustion hit almost immediately after sex. She practically dropped on top of Chloe with a grunt and nuzzled into the redhead's neck. "I think I'm dying"

"You better not die right there. I'd be so traumatised" Chloe's hand strokes at her back, making her sigh against the redhead's neck.

"I never thought I'd meet someone. Not like you. I always thought I was too… worthless" Beca's voice was muffled, and she hoped that it wasn't too much so Chloe could hear.

"Bec.."

"I know now" Beca moves up to hold herself over the redhead, her brow twitching slightly when she sees Chloe's tears filling those bright eyes. "You bring this light into my life, ever since the first time you looked me at that ridiculous singing thing. I should have known that you were going to be the person who turns my life upside down in the greatest way ever" Beca's hand moves over to wipe at Chloe's falling tears. "I know I've been… running a lot, treating you like… I just want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make you the happiest person ever. Which won't be hard, because you're seriously bubbly. Like overly bubbly sometimes" Chloe laughs through the tears and sniffs loudly. "One day we're gonna be married, and I'm gonna keep your light burning"

"Until we die at the same time" Chloe says, smiling up at her and reaching up to her cheek. "You mean the world to me, Becs"

"Is that all I get? I spent _ages_ on that speech" Beca laughs along with Chloe and leans down to press their lips together for a few moments before moving up again. "I'll never let him near you again. I promise that"

"I know. We just….need to wait and find out what he does"

Beca nods slowly and lays back down on top of her girlfriend. Chloe's hand on the back of her head and tangling in her hair actually turns her on again, waking her back up enough to open her eyes widely against the darkness of having her face buried in Chloe's neck and hair. "I have a slight problem" she says against Chloe's skin, brushing it with her lips before she kisses it.

"What's that?" Chloe's hand moves higher through her hair slightly and makes her groan and move up onto her arms.

"I wanna do it again" Beca smirks when Chloe's eyes roll at her romantic talk. "My bad. I wanna make sweet love again"

"I should say no just for that, but I'm too nice of a person" Chloe says with a grin. "And because what you said before was so sweet, I kinda need you again"

"So now I know the best way to get into your pants"

"I'm not wearing pants" Chloe moves up to steal a kiss, and bring her lower with the deepening kiss.

* * *

"Bec. Beca. Beca!"

Beca springs up in the bed with a sharp inhale and looks around the dark room for the source of the voice, then she turns around to look behind her at Chloe. "Did you say something?"

"I've been trying to wake you for ages. Your phone has been buzzing a lot, I'm kinda worried"

Beca groans and pulls the covers off her to get out of the bed and search for her phone. Which she found still in the pocket of her jeans next to the bed. All of the messages were from Katie.

 _'Beca he's kinda gone nuts'_

 _'He called me to tell me to go home, saying something about the Devil being in the state'_

 _'He wants to move like right now'_

 _'My mother told him he should stay and save you. He hit her and I got her out'_

 _'So we're at the motel on Elk road. I have no idea what he's going to do, so just be careful okay?'_

 _'Sorry for so many messages'_

 _'He keeps calling and leaving messages. I've been trying to get her to call the cops or something to make him leave her alone'_

 _'He stopped calling now. Again. Sorry for the messages. We're fine, so don't freak'_

 _'I hope he leaves TBH. He looks so fucked up after you hit him lol. I'm kinda glad'_

"Jesus" Beca turns around to hand the phone over to Chloe, and the light from the phone lets her see all of the growing worry and irritation on the redhead's face. "Maybe he'll fuck off now that no one wants him around"

"I dunno… he's still sticking it up that girl"

"Ew. Dude" Beca takes her phone back and ignores the chuckling redhead as she turns off the screen and climbs back into bed. "Never say that again"

"mkay" Chloe says quietly, holding onto her arm and relaxing again.

"I still want to punch his face off" Beca wakes her drifting girlfriend again "Sorry. Sleep" she moves forward and kisses Chloe's cheek gently "I love you"

"I love you too baby. Don't punch his face off though, I don't want you to get arrested for murdering a face and making horrible karaoke parties"

Beca furrows her eyebrows in confusion and leans up on her elbow to look down at Chloe, finding the redhead asleep and leaving her sitting there wondering what the hell karaoke had to do with anything.


	28. Chapter 28

**OKAY. So sorry for this delay, but for some reason I was draaaaaaaaaagging on these updates. I have no idea why I was struggling so much with this writing, and it's kind of horrible, so don't get too excited lol.**  
 **I figured it out in the end, but I really didn't have enough for an update, so it took longer than expected and I'm super sorry for that.**

 **Also - To the Awesomeness comment with the Christian/Catholic thing, DAMN IT! I did actually (half-assed) research Christianity, and when I was searching for the prayers and stuff, I did see the Catholic thing there a lot and I was like... well it must be the same, who cares? Stupid me. One day I'll go through and change it to Catholic, thanks for letting me know, lmao.**

 **Thank you for all of the positive comments though, it does keep me going.**

 **And another thing, the next few chapters involve flips back and forth between the girls because they're shorter parts, so I figured I'd save a 6 chapter update by putting them together.**

* * *

Chloe groans softly when the blasting sound of ringing fills the room, waking her up from her heavy sleep. "Baby, your phone's ringing" she mumbles against the pillow. When no response comes, she figures she'll just shove Beca and wake the brunette that way, only when her arm extends, it moves further until she opens her eyes to find herself alone in the bed.

"Bec?" She moves up to prop herself up on her elbow, the open door sends light coming in from the corridor, filling the room. The ringing stops, making her look down at the floor where Beca's phone was. Her heart starts beating faster as she gets up out of the bed and picks up the phone, there were three missed calls already, and thirteen texts from Mark.

The texts were all asking where Beca was. She turns around again and closes the door so she can get dressed before walking out into the corridor, looking both ways and trying to find any trace of Beca. She went through the bathrooms calling for the brunette, but no one had even seen her. On her way to check the café, she dials Jesse from Beca's phone.

 _"Hey Bec. I thought you were gonna be too busy with Chloe today"_

"It's me, Jesse. I can't find her. I don't know where she is and the door was left open. She didn't even take her phone with her. I'm worried" Chloe was trying not to sound too frantic, but it wasn't exactly an easy task. Her voice was shaking almost as much as her hands were.

 _"Wait. What? Where are you?"_

"I'm walking to the café. She didn't show up to work, Mark was calling and texting all morning"

 _"I'll call Katie and meet you there. Don't worry, we'll find her"_

"Please hurry" Chloe looks down at the phone and hangs up, and Beca's background was a picture of them together. She _needs_ to find her girlfriend.

Every step closer towards the café was making her more desperate and nervous. If Beca was in there, she was gonna have to kick the brunette's butt. But if not… that means Beca's missing, and she knows exactly who would have her.

The café was oddly quiet for it to be morning, which should have been a sign of doom in its own. Chloe makes her way to the counter where Mark was talking to Jenn before he turns to look at her and sighs with relief.

"Please tell me you have Beca with you"

Chloe's heart sinks and she shakes her head in response, her eyes scan the café, even though she knows that Beca isn't there. She just had to make sure she didn't miss the brunette anywhere. Hopefully this was all just a really mean prank.

"This girl better have a good damn reason, or I'll fire her ass so fast it'll make-"

"She's missing" Chloe says, turning her gaze back to Mark.

His eyebrow raises at her as if he didn't believe it until her expression must have done all the convincing needed. "You mean like missing missing, or just went out for a stroll and ended up in Colorado with a condom stuck up your ass missing"

Chloe was silent for a moment with a few blinks before she answers "Missing missing"

"Why didn't you say so? I'll put out the amber alert with the gays. Do you have a picture of her?" Mark already had his phone out and started typing before she even reached into her pocket for her phone to send a picture. Which she has a thousand of.

"I think she might be with her father somewhere. I don't know"

"You mean the evil father that she talked about?" Jenn says, looking around the large coffee machine to look at her.

"Why does everyone know this shit before me? I'm supposed to be the gossip queen here. You girls better start talki.." Mark's words drift off slightly as he stares over Chloe's shoulder "Well hello daddy"

Chloe furrows her brow slightly and turns around to see Jesse rushing in through the doors towards her. "Did you find her?"

"No. Katie hasn't seen or heard from her or John" Jesse puts a hand on her arm in some form of comfort that Chloe doesn't need right now. She needs to just hear Beca's voice, or any kind of clue that her girlfriend was just okay. "I'm sorry, Chloe. We'll find her" Jesse double-takes at Mark over Chloe's shoulder, and she can tell by Jesse's nod then weird stare that Mark was perving.

"What do we do? Should we call the police? Do you have her father's number?"

"I've already tried to call him like seven times. He isn't answering. Let's go over to the house"

Chloe nods at him and turns to the counter again, picking up a pen and a card to write down her phone number and hands it to Mark "If any of your friends find her, can you message or call me?"

"Of course, girl. I'll text you now so you have my number. If you find her, message me"

"Thank you" Chloe says, quickly turning and walking out with Jesse. "What if she's hurt?"

"Don't think about that. She's going to be fine" Jesse says, they were both looking around at the faces of people instead of actually looking at each other.

"You don't know that. He's violent, and she just…. she hit him with a belt and confirmed that we're dating. What if he kills her?"

"Then I'll kill him" Jesse says with a little too much of a serious tone, she almost believes that he would. But that'll never have to happen. Beca's going to be fine, Beca _can't_ die. Not until they're old together.

* * *

"She must have gone out" Chloe says, turning away from Aubrey's desk after failing to find the car keys. It was ridiculous to get annoyed at someone for taking their own car, but she was. Aubrey needed to be here, or at least Aubrey's car. She takes her phone out to text the blonde, hoping that Aubrey wasn't actually driving in that moment 'Where are you? I need you. Beca's gone missing'

A couple of moments go by and Chloe looks up at Jesse, losing her hope that Aubrey was going to answer "We should just get a cab" as soon as the words left her mouth, she gets a text. And half of her was hoping that it was Mark and that he found Beca, but it was Aubrey

 _'Stacie here, bree's driving. what do u mean missing?'_

'I mean missing, Stacie. We're going to her father's house now'

 _'we're around the corner. bree said 2 meet us in the parking lot and she'll drive u there'_

"Come on" Chloe says as she moves around Jesse to lead him back out of her dorm and into the corridor "They're gonna meet us" Chloe jumps when she hears the ringing of Beca's phone in her back pocket and almost drops it when she was taking it out. "Hello? Beca?"

 _"No. Katie. I was hoping for news, but obviously there isn't any"_

Chloe sighs softly and glances over at Jesse before turning away again in her disappointment. "There's no news at all. We're all going over to the house"

 _"I'll meet you there in Mom's car. If anything goes down, I wanna be there to help bring that asshole down"_

"Okay.. Thanks, Katie"

* * *

Chloe and Jesse speed-walked their way to the parking lot and didn't have to wait for Aubrey's car to show up, it was waiting for them already. They got into the backseat and Jesse started giving directions.

Her lack of movements started to take its toll. Her spiraling worry turned into hopelessness. The walking and talking had her so distracted to what could possibly be happening in this moment. Or what had already happened. Beca could be completely broken, or worse.

"What do we do if he is there with her?" Stacie asks from the front, looking back between the two seats right at her.

"Leave it to me" Jesse says, shifting forward slightly on the seat "Take a left up here"

Chloe's tears were threatening to release every passing minute that she had to sit there motionless. She wasn't helping her girlfriend by just _sitting_.

"Up there on the right, thirty-seven" Jesse snaps her out of her daze and she looks out the window to the house. There were no cars outside, but there was a garage. So it was possible that they were in there.

As soon as Aubrey's car rolled to a stop in the driveway, she was getting out and rushing to the door, knocking on it loudly and not even thinking that he could just take Beca and hide.

"I'll go around the back" Jesse says as he disappears beside the house.

Chloe waits a few moments before knocking again and listening for anything. And eventually she does hear footsteps coming towards the front door, freezing her heartbeat. The door swings open, but it was Jesse. And he shakes his head at her, which just makes the tears start rolling down her cheeks.

She pushes past him to move into the house, it was still completely trashed, but she crunches her way over the broken pieces of objects and glass to check every room for herself.

There wasn't even a clue. Chloe had no idea where Beca was. She stands in the prayer room, wishing she could go back twenty-four hours and warn Beca not to answer the door, or just take Beca somewhere, anywhere else. He could be choking _Beca_ with the belt this time. He could have already choked her.

"Chloe!" she snaps out of her images of her girlfriend being murdered to turn to Aubrey standing in the doorway "Your phone is ringing"

Chloe hadn't even heard the ringing of Beca's phone until it was pointed out to her, and she looks down at the phone to see Katie's number, swiping at it quickly "Hey, are you here?"

 _"No. Get back to campus, John just showed to his English lit class. I gotta go, I'm driving. I'll be at the campus in a few, so I'll wait for you"_

Katie hangs up before she can answer and she looks up at Aubrey before shoving the phone back into her pocket "We need to get back to Barden. Her father's in class"

* * *

Chloe's hands were shaking so badly she thought she was going to die. If he took Beca and went back to class like it was nothing, what does that mean? Does it mean her girlfriend was tied up, beaten and alone somewhere? Or that Beca wasn't with her anymore.

"Hey" she looks over at Jesse as he talks to her and lets her gaze drop to the seat between them "She's fine. I believe that"

"You just _want_ that" she says quietly, turning her head to look out the window again. The waiting was driving her crazy, and she has to see people outside, being so _normal_. They had no idea that her world was being destroyed.

Chloe was more apprehensive about taking off out of the car this time. She couldn't run across campus and into a room with someone she knows is dangerous. Still, as soon as they all started walking, her body was screaming at her to run. To go find out where her girlfriend is by any means necessary.

"We should think about this. We can't go blasting in there and attack him in front of a bunch of people" Aubrey says as they walk together, killing Chloe's hopes of doing just that.

"He isn't just going to tell us where she is. We don't even know if it _was_ him" Jesse sighs and looks over at her, but all she can do is walk silently and try to focus on staying mad instead of getting upset again.

"We could wait outside until his lecture is over, then we can blast in and attack" Stacie's suggestion would have been better had there not been such a lengthy time until the lecture was over. Beca could be dying right now.

The four of them come to a stop outside the building holding the room where they need to be. Katie was waiting outside for them and approached quickly. Chloe was still hoping for any sign that Beca was just going to pop out and yell 'surprise' at her.

"Was there anything at the house?" was Katie's first question, and the response was a collective unhappy look that makes Katie sigh and look right at Chloe. "Are you okay?"

"We just need to find her" Chloe says, trying desperately to not let her emotions out. She couldn't break yet, not when they were about to question Beca's father.

"I think I should go in and ask" Katie says, turning to Jesse with a soft smile "Do you wanna come with? Maybe we can convince him that you want Beca back or something"

Jesse turns to her and touches her arm for a moment before walking away with Katie and going into the building.

"God, I hope this works" Aubrey was quiet, and she wasn't sure if the blonde even meant for her to hear it.

Chloe moves forward into the building to follow behind Jesse and Katie until they walk into the room. Waiting was becoming harder for her to do, especially when she had no idea what was happening. "He could have killed her already" she says quietly, staring at the door for an answer to her burning question.

"I doubt he would" Aubrey's arm moves around her shoulder, and Chloe just feels worse being comforted knowing that Beca doesn't have that right now.

Chloe's restlessness kicks in again, forcing her to spin around and start pacing around the area outside the door into the lecture hall. Eventually she was going to give in to her urges and go through the door to confront him herself.

Minutes tick by. Minutes that felt like hours, which makes her want to start ripping her hair out from the stress. "What's taking so long?" she says as she paces back and forth.

Chloe was about two seconds from walking through the door when Jesse and Katie come rushing out looking more serious than when they walked in. Her sinking heart starts pounding in her chest as she waits for them to finish looking at each other and turn to her.

"He isn't going to tell us, but we need to find her" Jesse says, stating the complete obvious "I mean quickly. He resigned, because he's leaving. Which means he's taking Beca somewhere"

"Washington" Katie says, looking directly at Chloe. "He said he's going to save her"

* * *

She should have known not to answer the door. She knew it was weird that someone was knocking in the middle of the night, and like an idiot, she answered the door to get kidnapped by her dumbass father. The last thing she got to see through the struggling was Chloe asleep.

She's been sitting in this motel room all fucking day tied to a chair, and as much as she pulls and tries to free herself, she gets nowhere. All she can think about is how freaked out Chloe will be.

The motel room was dead silent, which made the passing time seem ridiculously slow. Her only form of entertainment were the walls in the dimly lit room. The only light was cast through around the curtains from the daylight outside. She knows exactly which place she's at, which makes this so much worse because she couldn't call anyone and tell them. She couldn't tell Chloe to calm down, because she's fine.

Her eyes close as she imagines the redhead smiling at her outside as they walked hand in hand. At least she got to have a real outside girlfriend for about an hour, which was oddly worth it. She was happiest in that moment, so it only makes sense that something horrible would follow.

Her father had spent the morning telling her about his plans for her exorcism. Which is most likely going to end in her laughing and getting hit for it. He hadn't actually hit her at all yet, which was almost a scary thought. He was probably saving it for his dumb exorcism. He'll probably just end up reading out Bible verses and throwing water at her.

Beca has no idea how long she'd been sitting there, or even what the time was. There was a noise at the door, the sound of a key turning over the lock and opening slowly. And she didn't quite expect Emma to be the one walking in with a suitcase and some shopping bags.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she says, staring over at the black haired girl and only getting side-eye in return. She watches as Emma closes and locks the door again before moving to the table and dropping the bags down. "So have you always been into pedos?" Beca stares at the back of the girl's head, and the only noises she hears are those of the plastic bags moving. "What, did he bite off your tongue while you were shoving it down his throat?"

"Will you shut up?" Emma turns to her with a glare and moves across the room to approach "Your dad said if you give me any trouble, I get to put you in your place"

"How does it feel to be disciplining your boyfriend's daughter, who just happens to be the same age as you are? Gross, right?" Beca stares the girl down, which works well enough, Emma turns around again and walks back to the table to return back to her with a foam box.

"I'm here to feed you"

"How about I feed myself and save you the trouble" Beca says nodding towards her arm "Untie me"

"I'm not stupid" Emma states while moving the fork up to her mouth and holding it, waiting for her to take it, which she doesn't. It could be poisoned. "Come on, Beca"

"Go fuck yourself. Oh wait, you don't have to. You can fuck my old ass father" Beca turns away when Emma tries to force the food into her mouth instead.

"Fine! Starve!" Emma says, dropping the box onto her lap before moving across the room to the suitcase and wheeling it over to the bed.

"What are you doing with that anyway? Are you moving in to be my nanny now?"

"No" Emma says, unzipping the case and rummaging through it until there's a laptop being placed on the bed. Now she just misses her laptop. She misses watching Chloe on her laptop.

"He's abusive, you know. He beats me, Katie, his wife. He beat my mother" Beca narrows her eyes slightly in curiosity as she watches Emma moving to the table to set the laptop up. There was no reaction at all. He's probably already brainwashed the girl. "Are you Christian?"

"Yes" Emma never looks up from the laptop, and she takes a few moments to try and think if a way to convince this girl to get the hell out of here.

"You know I'm the devil, right?" No reaction. Not even a twitch. Beca sighs loudly and goes back to looking around the room and thinking about her girlfriend instead, humming softly to the tune of a song. "What's the time?"

"One" Emma's typing starts not long after the answer and Beca leans back slightly.

"I gotta pee"

"Hold it"

"How about I just piss myself? I can do that instead. I'm sure it'll be a great smell for you" Beca smirks proudly when Emma finally looks over at her.

"I'll just sit outside then" Emma picks up the laptop and walks over to the door, unlocking it before walking out and closing it again.

"Well that worked" Beca mumbles to herself.

* * *

Eventually, Beca heard the voices on the other side of the door which grow louder until her father and Emma were walking into the room to look at her, completely unimpressed with a box of food still sitting on her lap.

Her father walks over to her and picks up the food to try a second attempt at feeding her, which she turns away from. "Beca. Eat"

"I'm good"

"I won't allow you to starve yourself in protest. This is for your own good" Beca rolls her eyes at her father's words and keeps her head turned. The door clicks shut again and her father's hand grabs her jaw to turn her face forward. Typical that he'd make Emma leave the room before he gets violent. Gotta keep that brainwash strong. "Open your mouth" Beca's refusal earns her a hard backhand. "Eat!"

"Fuck off" Another backhand dazes her for a second and he ends up moving away from her, probably to get a belt or some kind of thing to hit her with instead. He returns with a Bible. Which is something she should have expected.

"Read chapter six, verse nine"

"Sixty nine? Gross, dude" Beca chuckles after the next slap hits her cheek and she looks down at the Bible before leaning in slightly "Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers…" Beca raises an eyebrow and looks up at her father. "Are we here to exorcise me, or you?"

"The last part"

Beca's gaze drops back to the book again so she can finish the last four words "Nor effeminate, nor homosexuals"

"I will save you, Beca. You will be righteous when we get to Washington" Her father closes the book loudly and moves across the room to grab a chair from next to the table and drag it over to sit in front of her.

"I'm not going anywhere with you"

"Yes, you will. Whether you like it or not, Beca. You will go to Washington, and you will be wed" He leans back into the chair, staring at her widening eyes.

"Dude, what? Unless you plan on surprising me with Chloe at the altar, I'm not marrying anyone"

"Yes you will. Your future husband is a good Christian man, he will make you happy. Keep you satisfied and we'll keep you from this sinner's lifestyle"

Beca wished she could projectile vomit on cue. She pulls at the ties around her wrists a few times in anger, her rising heartbeat signalling her loss of control, only she was trapped and her tunnel vision emotion intensifies. "Let me the fuck go! I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!"

"That's your demon talking, Beca. You must be strong" He opens the Bible again to start reading to her, which doesn't stop, even through all of her struggling against the ties and swearing at him.

* * *

Beca was in the backseat of the car with her hands tied tightly behind her. Emma was in the passenger seat, holding hands with her father as he drives. They'd left hours ago. She was being taken away from her girlfriend to marry some stranger guy. She should really just somehow move up and pull the door open, jumping out of a speeding car would be a better alternative than marrying some pervert who just goes for anyone.

She just has to trust that Chloe will find her, no matter how long it takes. She'll end up untied soon, then at her first opportunity, she's getting out. Anywhere. Just as long as she never reaches Washington.

Her father was unfortunately smarter than she hopes he would be, he parked the car in the far part of the lot to go pick up food. Which meant Emma had tried to feed her again. She wasn't starving herself, really. She had no appetite. She couldn't even think about food, she was essentially being sold.

The night ended at a motel, and Beca was tied again, this time her father tied her feet to the bed so she could lay down and get sleep. Only he wouldn't stop reading verses at her until she did fall asleep reluctantly.

Her dreams were full of her girlfriend, like a highlight reel of their time together. Through all of her stupid moments, Chloe was waiting there, ready to pick her back up again and make her feel worthy.

When she wakes up, all of those dreams were ripped away from her. She was still in the motel room, her hands bound behind her, her ankles bound to the bed. She was stuck here with him. For who knows how long. She couldn't even feel angry anymore, she just felt hopeless. Depressed. Her life was one day closer to being over.

The next driving day was longer, they drove from morning until evening, with only a few pit-stops for bathroom breaks and food. Their attempts at making her eat were still going rejected, and it may be turning more into a protest the closer they get to her doom, but she still didn't have her appetite back.

Another evening of Bible verses puts her to sleep so that she can dream about Chloe again. So she can see the face that she needs to see coming to save her. To take her back home and really fix her.


	29. Chapter 29

They exhausted every lead to try and find Beca, but came up empty every time. No one had even talked to John Mitchell since he left the school two days ago. Which is about how long Chloe's been wallowing in Beca's bed, just waiting for her phone to ring to say Beca's been found. Or even better, if it was her girlfriend calling.

They tried to report to the police that Beca had been taken, only it was a situation that got ignored because they think it was just Beca leaving with John, not John actually kidnapping the brunette. No matter how much she tried to convince them otherwise, they didn't believe her.

Chloe was laying on her side, with Beca's laptop open in front of her on the bed so she can click through her girlfriend's photos and keep her sadness going. The mixes playing in the background have been taking her through their whole relationship, right from the first mix with JoJo.

Pictures of them together feel like a dagger to the heart, she might not see her girlfriend again. Washington was a huge place, but she bought a plane ticket, which doesn't leave for another two days, and by then… Beca could be long since gone, if they even go to Washington. It takes five hours to fly there, and 40 to drive. So if John was driving, she should get there as the car does. Hopefully before so she can try and figure out which part John was going. Which is basically impossible, but she's going to try it.

Chloe nearly has a heart attack when the loud rapid knocking starts hitting the door, she had to collect herself for a few moments before she got out of the bed and made her way to open the door.

Jesse and Katie were on the other side and look at her like she looked like a crazy cat lady or something. And she probably did look like that, she hardly got out of bed. "Get dressed. We have something" Jesse says

"On Beca? Where is she?" Chloe steps forward out of the room and Jesse puts his hand up to stop her

"Just hurry, we have to get on the road" He says. Chloe glances to Katie quickly and turns around to shut the door and start getting changed as quickly as she can. She moves across the room quickly to shut down Beca's laptop and grabs the headphones before shoving it all in the laptop bag and walking out with it, putting the strap over her shoulder as she exits the room and locks the door.

They were only walking for a few seconds before Katie hands over a phone with pictures of food. "Look at the picture comment" Katie says, and when she scrolls down, she reads _on the way to WA! #Nebraska_

"Who is this?" she says as she scrolls up and finds the username 'emmamazing'. Her quick breath was followed by Katie's hand on her forearm.

"We're meeting Aubrey outside. We're gonna take it in shifts and get there tomorrow" Katie says with a small squeeze against her forearm.

"How do we know she's even…"

"Because she is. We have to believe that she's fine" Katie says. Chloe sighs softly and moves her arm from Katie's reach.

They reach the car fairly quickly and pile in. Chloe sits in the back with Katie on the other side. Jesse was in the passenger seat and talking to Aubrey about the quickest way to get to a freeway.

Her mind was running rampant, she couldn't focus on anything. They had barely left and she was already restless. She has no idea how they were going to find Beca once they catch up. Going by instagram posts will be difficult, especially if Emma doesn't post a lot.

Chloe takes her phone out of her pocket and brings up the twitter app, her desperation was the only thing that made her write the update. She attaches a picture of Beca and considers deleting it before she posts, but considering it was virtually impossible to find the brunette, she posts it.

 _If you see this girl, please tweet me. Last possible location was Nebraska. Please retweet. #GFshomophobicfathertookheraway_

She posts the same on Facebook as well, and then turns the screen off to put it on the seat before leaning forward to the laptop bag at her feet and unzipping it. The first beep of her notification sounds from her phone as she pulls the laptop out of the bag along with the headphones. When she looks down at her phone, a friend had retweeted, so she turns the phone off again and pushes the power on the laptop.

She had talked to Beca once about the laptop, and how Beca was protective of it as well as the headphones. She hadn't even noticed, Beca never seemed uncomfortable with her using the laptop, and when she asked about that, Beca said it was fine because it was her. And she still remembers the way her heart skipped as soon as she heard it.

Beca's mixes soothe her anxiety to a more comfortable level and let her relax against the seat as she looks out the window.

* * *

She had fallen asleep at some point and gets woken up by the car slowing to a stop, and her excitement made her sit up and take the headphones off, only to find them at a gas station. Jesse offers to be the one to fill up and get snacks, and as he gets out of the car, Aubrey turns to look back at her.

"You okay?" the blonde asks, getting a nod in response from Chloe. "I'll kick his ass if he hurt her, I promise"

Chloe hears the notification noise and turns to look down at her phone, picking it up to find a notification telling her she was getting an unusual amount of retweets, and she opens twitter to find out that she may or may not have sent Beca viral. There were 789 retweets and twice that amount in favorites and counting.

"What's wrong?" the blonde says, and when she looks up again, she shakes her head

"Nothing, just looking at twitter" she says, returning her eyes to the screen and scrolling through the replies, which were mostly just messages of support.

Jesse returned with snacks and they were off again with a full tank. They'd only been driving for a couple of hours and weren't even a quarter of the way there, Chloe went back to listening to the songs on Beca's laptop and closes her eyes again.

Her dreams took her to a better place, one where she gets to kiss Beca, or even just hold the brunette's hand in her own and smile. She got to be happy and in love in her dreams. All she ever wanted is to just be with Beca without all of the things dragging them down. She never wanted all of this drama, but she'd do it all over again in a second just to be with Beca.

* * *

The next time the car rolls to a stop, she opens her eyes to a diner and notices the darkness of the night. She didn't exactly want to stop for food, but she couldn't tell her friends they can't eat. She looks at the clock, it was 11pm, which means they were driving so long without eating anyway. She feels bad for wanting to keep driving without breaks, so she's the first one out of the car and moving towards the diner after putting Beca's laptop away.

The diner was quiet inside, and they sat at a table near the window. The waitress came over fairly quickly to take their drink orders and wander off after writing them down.

"Where are we?" she asks as she leans against the back of the chair and looks to her side at Aubrey.

"I think..Kentucky? I don't really know. We've been driving for about five hours" Aubrey says while looking at the menu "What are you getting?"

"I'm not hungry" she looks up as the waitress puts the glass of water down in front of her and starts setting the other glasses down.

Aubrey's order had an extra side of fries, which was an obvious hint to her that the blonde was going to try and make her eat. It was typical of Aubrey to try and take care of her like that. She knows it's stupid not to eat, but she hasn't got an appetite, not when she thinks Beca isn't even able to eat. He could be starving her. She could have already starved to death.

"Have there been any new posts?" Jesse asks Katie, who instantly reaches for the cell phone on the table and searching.

"Yeah, a bathroom selfie, it doesn't have a location though" Katie hands the phone over to Jesse, and he sighs softly before handing it back.

"Well they're obviously at a motel, so that's one plus. They stay overnight in places, which means we'll catch them faster" he says, shooting Chloe a supportive smile.

She frowns and takes her phone out of her pocket to find a new batch of notifications coming in. She holds the phone under the table and scrolls through the replies again, hundreds of messages, and not one sighting. But on the upside, all of the retweets are sending it viral.

"You okay?" she hears from Aubrey, and looks up to meet the blonde's worried expression.

"Yeah" she says with a small sigh. "I just wish I knew how to find her"

"We'll find her, don't worry" Aubrey reaches over to her and rubs her shoulder for a few moments. "Even if we have to check every single motel ever"

"And what if we don't find her? What if he just buried her on the way and we've already driven past her body and I'll never get to see her again" Chloe tightens her grip on her phone and shakes her head before standing up from the chair and walking away to the bathroom, ignoring Aubrey calling for her.

She ended up in the bathroom, leaning onto the sink and looking into the mirror at herself with tears welling up in her eyes. She was trying to talk herself into being stronger for Beca, it isn't helping anyone for her to be so emotional about something that was out of her control. Her eyes close, releasing tears onto her cheeks that she leaves to roll down and drop into the sink.

She stays in the bathroom for a few minutes before she finally wipes her eyes and settles enough to walk out. Aubrey was waiting for her just outside the door with a concerned expression. "I'm fine, Bree" she says as she walks by.

"I hate seeing you so upset" Aubrey says, following Chloe towards the table.

"I know" she says, reaching back for Aubrey's hand and holds it after the blonde takes hers.

They get back to the table and stay quiet, holding hands until the food arrives. Chloe tried to eat some of the fries, but every time she ate one, she'd feel more sick to the stomach. Maybe it was her guilt because she had no idea what Beca was doing, she felt like she was going on living without knowing whether her girlfriend is or not.

"Can I have the keys? I'm gonna just sit in the car" she looks over at Aubrey, who was hesitant at first but ended up handing over the keys anyway. She gets up slowly and quietly walks out of the diner. There wasn't much around the area they were in, so it seemed like a dead town. The silence made her feel uncomfortable, there were no animal noises or any cars going by.

She makes her way to the car slowly and unlocks it so she can get in the backseat and lean back with the door left open for fresh air. The silence became less uncomfortable and more calming after a few minutes, allowing her to just sit and think about what her and Beca are going to be like when they're old.

Beca will probably be a total grump, or at least a sarcastic butthead. And just like now, she'll have to reign her girl in and make Beca be nice. Or maybe she'll be completely surprised and Beca will be perfect. Either way, they're going to be getting old together, whether Beca likes it or not. 

* * *

Beca was alone in the room for once, and trying to get in a position so she can attempt to untie her feet with her hands tied behind her back is ridiculous. Her father and Emma had left, most likely to screw each other in a different room. Which she needs to _not_ think about just in case she ends up vomiting and having to swim through it on the bed.

It takes far too long for her to shift back until her hand hit the rope around her ankles, and then tackling the ties blindly is just as difficult as getting into the damn position. She couldn't keep an eye on the door, but she was trying to listen for any noises.

She kept picking tediously at the ropes until she felt the end that she needed coming loose. "Oh jesus, yes" she says quietly as she starts aiming for that area and freeing her legs. She wasn't going to focus on her wrists just yet, she needed to get to a safe, hidden area before she was going to sit there for another thousand years trying to undo them.

After making her way across the room, she listens at the door and tries to look out the side of the curtain for movements. After seeing and hearing nothing, she turns around to turn the handle and pulls the door open. After waiting another few moments and turning around, she sticks her head out the door and looks both ways. She has no idea which direction the two assholes went, so she picks the left and starts running.

She manages to make it behind the motel in a dark area near some trees, so she tries bending down so she can step through her hands, which was surprisingly easy to do, and then she picks at the ties with her teeth until it was loose enough to get out of. Now she just has to figure out where the hell she is, and how the hell to get back.

She looks around the open area and dashes across to the trees where the reception building is. From there she can see the stores and gas station ahead with a parking lot between her and the first set of stores. Which was really well lit. She moves across the road into the grassy area that wasn't so focused on in the lights and bends down slightly to start running across the area towards the gas station.

She hasn't heard any sounds of yelling, but she had to be safe that he didn't walk out of a room and end up seeing her running across a parking lot. She reaches a small intersection across the way from the gas station and runs across to sit behind a sign and look over the top of it. There was a payphone outside of the gas station and if only she thought to grab change on her way out.

She looks towards the hotel and waits a few moments before moving out from behind the sign and making a break for the gas station, stopping briefly next to a car and looking once again to make sure she isn't about to get caught, then continuing.

She walks into the gas station and walks toward the counter slowly, where there was a youngish guy behind the counter looking at her "Hey" She says quietly as she arrives to the counter "I don't suppose I could borrow a few quarters for the payphone? I'm a little lost here"

The guy eyes her for a second and tilts his head slightly "You look familiar"

"I really doubt that, I've never even seen or heard of this place before" She says, raising an eyebrow at him as he claps and points at her

"You're that chick on that Facebook post!"

"Um.." Beca looks around at the store, and she was alone with this weird guy who thinks she's some kind of Facebook celebrity

"You can use this if you want" she looks back and down at the cell phone the guy was holding out to her. She reaches out slowly and glances up at him oddly before taking it.

She has no idea what Chloe's number is, thanks to cell phones existing and ruining everyone's memory for that. So she dials Jesse's number and turns away to look out the glass for her father.

"Hello?"

"Jesse?"

"Yeah? Who is this?"

"Oh thank god"

"Beca?"

"Yeah"

"Fuck, where are you?"

"Uh…" Beca looks over at the guy while the background of Jesse's surroundings grows into a bunch of voices at once. "Where am I?"

"Onawa" The guy says, and her confusion must have been completely visible, because he smiles at her and says "Iowa"

"Seriously?" he nods at her and she turns back to the windows again "I'm in Iowa, dude"

"Beca?" the voice that speaks to her was definitely _not_ Jesse.

"Chloe? What are you doing with Jesse?"

"We're driving to come find you, Emma posted something on Instagram and we're on our way to Nebraska. She's in Iowa" Chloe says to someone and Beca was too stunned to even speak. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am" Beca glances at the guy again and turns around to speak lower "I miss you"

"I miss you too. Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No. No, he just keeps reading the Bible and keeping me tied up. Jesus. I never thought I'd even talk to you again" Beca runs her hand through her hair and looks up out the window again, seeing someone walking across the parking lot towards the station. "Shit. I have to go, Chloe. I'm somewhere around a Super 8 in Onawa. I'm sorry, I love you" She hangs up quickly and hands the phone over to the guy "Is there a back exit?"

The guy looks out the window and nods at her before pointing to the side "There's a door out the back through the kitchen, but you sure you wanna run out there if he's gonna be looking for you?"

"Well, my options are limited" Beca says before rushing in the direction and pushing through the door into the kitchen and looking at the door for a moment before deciding against running and moving down to open a cupboard and climb into it.

It takes minutes before she hears a very distant voice calling out her name, she can't figure out which area it was coming from, whether her father was in or out of the store, so she stays completely still.

Everything falls silent, and she still stays still with her knees against her chest in the cupboard. This was one of the only moments where she's glad she's so small. Minutes go by before she starts to relax and lets herself find a slightly more comfortable position.

Eventually she loses all sense of time and moves closer to the cupboard door to listen before she shoves it open and jumps when the guy sitting at the table in the middle of the kitchen flies up from a chair and swears. "Sorry" she says quietly before looking around the kitchen.

"Jesus, girl. You gotta have some kinda warning system before you do shit like that. I nearly crapped my fucking pants" he says, holding his chest and moving forward to hold a hand out to her, which she takes and stands up. "He's gone, he was looking around outside for a while before heading off to the motel again"

"Thanks" Beca says, brushing herself off

"You wanna lift anywhere? I can close the shop for a while"

Beca stares at the guy for a moment before raising her hand at him "I'm not...gonna get in a car with you, no offense. I'm just…"

"Don't worry, I have a girlfriend and I'm no creep" He says, taking out his phone again and swiping a few times before holding it up to show a selfie of himself with a girl. "That's my girl"

"She's pretty" Beca says awkwardly before sighing "Okay. Is there another motel, or a town or something? I need to sort of get away from here so that guy doesn't find me again"

"Your father, right? The Facebook post says he's a pretty bad homophobe. I ain't gay or anything, but you do you" Beca nods at him slowly and stays quiet. "Anyway, take this so you know I'm not gonna do anything to you" He hands over a wallet and she looks down at it for a moment before shaking her head at it.

"I don't need it, I'll take the chance" He nods at her and shoves the wallet back in his pocket before moving back slightly.

"I'll bring the car 'round here and we'll take off then. Gimme a few" He says as he walks back into the store.

She stands there for a while and moves slowly towards the door after she hears a knock, slightly worried that she was going to open the door and find her father on the other side. When she pulls it open slightly, she sees the car and opens the door wider. This guy may be restoring her faith in strangers. A small country town with a non-creepy guy? Horror movies are really fake now.

She moves to the car and climbs into the passenger seat, and the guy drives off slowly. "I can take you to Oakland, it's outta the way and in Nebraska, so I doubt he'll think you went past a town or two" he says as he exits the parking lot and starts on the way.

She looks out the back at the motel they're driving away from and exhales with relief. "Thanks for driving me out here, really. And letting me use your cell phone"

"No problemo. You're probably gonna have to use it again though, I know you've got no money and I don't exactly plan on payin' for a room"

Beca huffs out a small laugh and looks over at the guy "I won't make you pay for it"

After a while of driving, he starts looking up in the mirror a few times and starts speeding up. "We got company"

Beca turns in the seat to look out the back window at the headlights behind them and over at the guy again "How do you know they're following?"

"Lets find out" He says, slowing down to take a right turn. She looks back out the back again and sees the car turning in after a while. "See? Told you so"

"Yeah. Great. Perfect time for an 'I told you so'" She says with a sigh. When she moves to sit back against the seat, he takes a sharp turn and she has to catch herself against the door before she crashed into it. "Dude!"

"I'm sorry, I'm tryin' to lose him" Another few moments and he takes another right. Then he turns off the lights and rolls into a small court.

They wait for minutes in silence and no cars go by. He turns around out of the court and rolls up to the intersection to look out where they had turned from, then he turns the lights on and drives out in the direction they came from. Beca stays looking around the area, trying to see her father's car anywhere, then the brakes slam on and she looks out the front where her father had parked across the road to block them. "Shit"

"Man, this guy is cray" The guy says, and she stares out the windshield as her father gets out of the car blocking them. "Hold on" The guy says before putting the car in reverse and turning to hold the back of her chair and look out the back. He plants his foot and sends the car backwards, then reverses into the street they'd originally turned down and puts the car back in drive to turn in the other direction.

Her father's car didn't take long to follow behind them again and she leans forward to cover her face with her hands and groan. "You might as well just stop, he won't let up"

"Nah, guys wait their whole lives to get a reason for a car chase" He says, taking a turn into a dirt road. "I feel like I'm Vin Diesel right now"

She looks out the back as the guy enjoys this far too much, and the cloud of dust around the car behind them makes her father back off. "Do you know this area?"

"Nope, not well" He says as he hits the brakes and makes her grab the chair. The car slides around a corner and comes extremely close to hitting a tree before finding its grip and taking off again. "Sorry 'bout that"

"I'm definitely dying today, aren't I?" Beca says, feeling a growing urge to start praying now.

"No, we got this" The guy slows down and turns hard, finding them on a road again. He speeds off and looks up in the mirror constantly until the car in the far distance turns onto the road. He hands over the cell phone "Look us up on maps, I got no clue where fifty-one is from here"

She swipes at the screen and brings up Maps, and it finds them fairly quickly heading towards a turn off "Take a left as soon as you can, that road leads right to it" She looks back again and finds the car at the same far distance.

* * *

Eventually they had lost him by taking a thousand detours and ending up taking two and a half hours to make a forty minute trip. The Inn they got to was tiny, and it was about 3am, so she did feel bad when they got out and the guy rang the bell on the door.

She turns to him as they wait "What's your name, by the way?"

"Jake" He says, holding out his hand and shaking hers when she takes it. Their hands part again when the light flicks on and a woman walks to the door in a robe and unlocks it.

"Ya'll are here late. You been driving all this time?"

"You can say that" Jake says, and the woman waves them inside and walks over to the counter.

"Just for tonight?" The woman asks and Beca nods and leans onto the counter

"Is it okay if we do a phone payment? My friends are on their way and my best friend has my card" She asks nervously, and the woman eyes her for a moment before holding up an electronic card machine.

"I can do that no problem" The woman says, and picks up the phone to put it on the counter. "You wanna call from here or you got a phone?"

"Oh, thanks" Beca says, glancing over at Jake before she looks down at the phone and picks it up to dial Jesse. She had called him in the car a while ago when they were close to the Inn to ask if he had brought her card, which he didn't, but she was going to pay him back when she gets home to Barden.

"Hello?"

"Jesse, hey. It's me. I'm at the Inn, can I put you onto the lady for the payment?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'm ready to go"

Beca hands the phone over and the woman starts talking to Jesse, then she turns to Jake and holds her hand out again "Thanks for getting me here and not giving me up to my father"

"No problemo" Jake says, shaking her hand again "If you're ever in the area and need a getaway vehicle, you know where to find me"

She smiles at him and he takes his hand away to pat her arm and start moving out of the office. She watches him leaving and turns back to the woman who hangs up and hands over a sheet of paper and a key.

"You're in room two and this is your receipt for your friend" The woman says, walking around the counter and waving her over in the direction to start leading her down a hallway. "You need anything to eat?"

"No thanks, I just need some sleep and a shower" Beca says. It only took them a few moments for her to get to the room and unlock it, thanking the lady before she steps inside and locks the door, along with sliding the chain across it.

The room was a nice looking place, and she slides down the door to sit on the floor and lean her head back. "Jesus. That was a fucking night" She murmurs to herself as she closes her eyes.


	30. Chapter 30

Chloe had cried pretty much instantly after Beca hung up on her, half out of relief and half out of fear that Beca's father had found her girlfriend and left again. Then she cried again when Beca had made it to the Inn and Jesse had paid for the room. She couldn't talk to the brunette again, the owner had been the one talking to Jesse.

She felt sick with concern, Beca's father followed the car all around the place until this guy Beca was with had lost him. It wasn't enough that she was worried about Beca's father, now she has to worry about a strange guy knowing exactly where Beca is. And she has no idea if her girlfriend was alone in this room or not, what if the guy bursts in. What if Beca's _father_ bursts in.

They still had about eight hours or something to go, and she was more than over the distance and radio silence from her girlfriend.

"Chloe" She looks up at Jesse holding out his cell phone at her and she takes it quickly to look down at text messages from the number Beca had called from

 _'if u need 2 call her shes A Js Inn i dont no wat room tho'_

Chloe takes her phone out and searches for the Inn where Beca was left at and dials the number. There was no answer and she sighs loudly, then hands Jesse's phone back. She'll have to wait for a reasonable hour to try calling back.

"At least we know she's okay" Katie says from next to her

"Seriously" Aubrey agrees. "We're gonna get there in no time"

"Thank god for small town folk, right?" Jesse says with a smile at Aubrey and then back at her.

Chloe attempts a smile and finds a small one, but she loses it after a moment and looks down at her phone to start scrolling through her twitter DMs.

* * *

She had to find every kind of distraction possible for the next four hours until she could call the office again, and the battery was running down on Beca's laptop, so she left it off and in the bag in case Beca wanted it. Her phone apps were proving to be useless in her restless attitude and as soon as it hit 7am, she started calling the office every 10 minutes until someone picked up at 8am.

"Yello?" A man answers

"Hey, sorry to be a bother, but there's a girl there who got there at like three last night, I was just wondering if I could have her room number? Her name's Beca"

"Let me just take a look here. You happen to have her last name?"

"Mitchell" Chloe looks out the window and waits a few moments, chewing nervously at her lip the longer it takes.

"One second, please" he says, then puts her on hold. The piano music playing instantly makes her anxious that Beca had been found or something. A minute goes by and she holds her breath when the music stops and a clicking noise happens.

"Chloe?" Beca's voice hits her ear and she exhales loudly

"Hey" she says quietly, staring down at her lap.

"Hey. Where are you guys?"

"I have no idea. I haven't seen a sign for ages, I think we should be about four or five hours away still. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. That Jake guy wasn't weird at all, so that's a plus. Except that he likes country music over everything else."

Chloe smiles softly and leans to the side against the door. "He obviously hasn't found you"

"Nope. I don't plan on leaving the room, either. The door will stay locked until you guys are here. I wish you could be here right now"

"Me too. You think they'd mind if we just spent the next four hours on the phone?"

Beca laughs softly and she smiles wider. "I think they might, yeah. Besides, I'd be a little worried for your bill after four hours"

"It'll be worth it"

* * *

They only got to talk for about forty minutes before her phone died. Chloe was so disappointed that she had to throw it and ask for Jesse's phone, only to be denied, because they need it to have power in case Beca needs them again. She huffed loudly at that and took Aubrey's phone from the middle console instead, which the blonde yelled at her for, but she was already searching for the Inn again.

"Chloe, give it back or I'll turn this car around!" Aubrey says, making Chloe's jaw drop open. She looks up into the mirror at the blonde's glancing eye. "We're only three hours away, give it back"

"But my phone died, what if she thinks I died? I just want to let her know" She hugs the phone to her chest and hears the quiet laughter from Katie.

"If you spend more than five minutes on that phone.." Aubrey gets cut off by her squeal and she moves the phone away to continue her search and call Beca back.

"Yello?"

"Hello, could you please put me through to room two?"

There was a moment of silence before there was a huff and then a ringing. "Hello?"

"Beca?"

"Your phone didn't die?"

"No, it did. I'm on Bree's phone. I don't have long"

"I actually feel a little bad for the girl right now. You're driving them mental, aren't you?"

Chloe chuckles softly and catches Aubrey's glaring eye. She sighs loudly in reaction "I should go. Bree's gonna turn around if I talk to you forever. You're still safe, right?"

"Very safe. _I_ don't even know where I am"

"Good. I love you, Becs. I'll be there in a few hours"

"I love you too"

"Hang up"

"You first"

"No, you! I'm the one who called, so you're the one who has to hang up" Chloe looks up after Aubrey's loud sigh sounds off, making her smile even wider.

"I don't think they're the rules. The older one has to hang up, and you've got like eight years on me"

"I am _not_ eight years older than you. And just for that insult, you have to hang up"

"Chloe!" Aubrey says loudly, making her turn her body towards the door in some attempt at ignoring the blonde.

"I'm too vulnerable and sad to hang up. I'm gonna need you to do it" Beca says with a following quiet laugh that she probably wasn't supposed to hear.

"I can't hang up on you if you're sad, fix it"

"Fix it? I can't just poof out a new emotion, Chloe"

"I'm going to kill her" She hears from the blonde.

"If you don't poof out a new emotion, Aubrey's gonna murder me. So unless you want me to die, you better hang up"

"At the same time"

"Okay…. One… two… three" She bites her lip and stays quiet, narrowing her eyes after a few moments. "You didn't hang up, did you?"

"Neither did you, I can hear the music playing"

"Ugh. Hang up, Beca!"

"Okay fine. I'm hanging up. Goodbye" She waits for the click for a few moments and narrows her eyes while she smiles. "Goodbye, Chloe"

"Bye Beca"

"I love you" She opens her mouth to reply to Beca and hears the click and the beeping, then her mouth stays open in offense as she looks down at the phone.

"Butthole" She mumbles to herself with a pout and leans forward to drop the phone back into the console between the two front seats. "Thanks, Bree"

"Like I had a choice. You're welcome" The blonde says with a growing smile.

"I wonder what she's gonna do until we get there" Chloe says, staring down at the seat in front of her as she tries to imagine Beca alone in a hotel room. Which only makes her dirty minded, but that's a lot better than being scared for Beca's life.

"I bet she's going to die of boredom" Jesse says "She really isn't a people person when it comes to people she isn't interested in. Which is everyone now"

"I don't believe that. She's really good at the cafe. People like her there" she says, tilting her head slightly to look at the back of Jesse's head until he turns to look at her

"That's because you're such a good influence"

Aubrey snorts at him and glances up in the mirror at her "Chloe? Someone who broke her wrist trying to get a really stupid piggyback ride? Someone who is _constantly_ late for practise, rarely studies, is way too open when it comes to sex talks, likes to confront people in the most awkward of ways just so she gets what she wants"

"We get it, Bree. I'm perfect" Chloe says with a wide smile. "Don't be jealous. Stacie thinks you're aca-mazing"

"I'm well aware of how much my girlfriend loves me. And you are _so_ perfect" Aubrey says with a sarcasm that could out-do Beca's.

Chloe leans back against the seat and sighs as she looks out the window. She felt so much lighter now that she knows Beca's at a safer distance. She was still worried that she was going to get there and find Beca all kinds of beaten and broken though. She can nurse Beca back to health, even if it's just with one arm for a couple of months.

* * *

Beca still had a few hours to go until her friends show up, and all she had for entertainment was a TV and, shock horror, a Bible in the drawer. So she flicks through the channels until she settles on morning cartoons and sits on the bed, restless and nervous about how everything is going to turn out once she gets back to Barden.

Her father's always going to be a terrible thorn in her side unless she does something drastic, but she has no idea how he can get the hint that she really hates him. Saying it makes no difference, hitting him makes no difference. She can't even say that she's the Devil to make him leave. Nothing seems to be getting rid of him.

She closes her eyes after some time and imagines what she'd be like if she had a normal father. She'd be happy, less of an idiot. She would have dated Chloe honestly and exclusively and just been...right. Not that she isn't good right now, she can't imagine hurting Chloe like that again. Her previous way of living had driven her into a downward spiral, sucking everything around her into this whirlwind of stupid decisions and hurt feelings.

If she had normal, and nice parents… maybe that never would have happened. She definitely wouldn't be sitting in a motel in Nebraska if she had nice parents. Maybe her mother would still be alive, too. She can't even remember what her mother was like, or what her mother looked like. Probably like her. Maybe that's why her father hates her so much.

Her eyes open with a soft sigh and she stares at the muted TV, watching as bunnies talk to each other and grimacing in irritation that this was the only thing that was actually watchable. She could go for a walk, but the look of this place… it just looked like a house in the middle of a field, there was really nothing to see.

She shifts to the edge of the bed and stands up to look around at the floor and find a good place to kneel down and get into a push-up position. She lowers herself slowly and instantly hates Chloe for being able to do so many of these. Her arms were shaking after one push-up. She gets to about five and drops onto the floor with a huff, then rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling. Motivation to exercise is just as bad as motivation to read the Bible when her father used to make her study it.

She takes in a deep breath and starts her crunches, which were easier than push ups, but twice as strenuous. She tries to remember not to count how many she does, Chloe says that makes her too aware and hurts more. Which right now just feels like bullshit.

"Jesus.." she mumbles to herself as she lays on her back again after the tightening in her stomach makes her ready to die. She should exercise more often, Chloe had that body that just…. well, yeah. So she should make some kind of effort for Chloe's appreciation. They should just make a miracle pill that makes you fit and Chloe Beale level of hot.

She drums on her stomach and turns her head to look over at the door when she hears a noise, staring at the line underneath where there were the shadows from feet stopping outside of it. A quiet knock sounds into the room and she rolls over to get up and stand a few feet away "Who is it?"

"It's Valerie. We met last night" A woman says through the door, and she walks over to slide the chain off and unlock the door to open it and look at the woman holding a plate. "Just wanted to bring you some breakfast"

"Oh.. you didn't have to do that" Beca says, staring back up at the woman. "I'll pay for it once my friends get here"

"Nonsense, sweetie. It's just some bacon and eggs, with a little toast and some juice. Also if you want coffee, we have a lovely new machine that I'm excited about" Valerie smiles at her and she smiles back awkwardly, reaching up for the plate that the woman starts shoving forward.

"Thanks.." she says quietly "I could use some coffee, I guess"

"Come out and eat it in the dining room!" Valerie starts pulling at her arm until she's out of the room and watching the woman close the door before walking forward. She follows with the plate in her hands.

"I wasn't expecting everyone to be so nice out here" she says from behind Valerie, who gives a quick glance back at her

"We're a small town, everyone is nice out here. Except Reginald. He's an old grump on a farm just outside of town. Everyone hates Reginald"

* * *

She ended up making pretty good friends with Valerie through breakfast. The woman had joined her with coffees and they talked for ages about everything appropriate she could think of to ask. Family, how long Valerie had owned the Inn, why it was in a small ass town in the middle of nothing.

It felt like hours had gone by when it had only been just over one hour, Valerie had left to go find someone and she made her way back to the room. It was still a good amount of time that passed, at least it wasn't ten minutes. Now there was only a couple of hours left to go and she was just about ready to start running down the road to get closer. If only she knew which direction her friends were coming in.

She decides to try exercising again, which she gets through about ten minutes of before she gives up and showers. Nothing is more torturous than needing to wait so fucking long for something and having it be hours away. Nothing ever passes the time, all she can do is just sit and wait. Forever.

She does just that. Sits and waits. After almost ending up in the fetal position from being so impatient, she did start doing a few back and forth laps of the inside of the Inn. Which didn't pass much time at all, but she was in the final hour and it was actually the worst damn one.

When it came to the time when they were supposed to arrive, she moves outside and looks around before moving off to the side of the large house looking Inn and stays out of sight of the road while she waits.

She _thinks_ she saw Aubrey's car, but it sailed right by the place, and after about 5 minutes, her assumption was proven right when that car returns and actually drives into the parking lot, which sends her nerves insane. It had only been a few days, but it felt like years.

Her breath catches in her throat as soon as the back door and Chloe gets out and stands there, staring around the area without even noticing her. She exhales sharply and rushes out from the side of the building. She catches Chloe's eye and the redhead runs at her and lands against her with a thud, knocking the wind right out of her and making her grunt.

Chloe hardly even took notice that she had to gasp for her air to return, the redhead was hugging her tightly and she moves her arms up to wrap around her girlfriend, keeping them attached to each other. "I love you" she hears whispered into her ear, and the sniff following makes her realise the redhead was crying. She reaches up to the back of Chloe's head and holds her there.

"I love you too" she says softly, closing her eyes as she turns her head downward to kiss the shoulder in front of her. "I missed you so much" She adds. Chloe moves back quickly, startling her for a second until she feels lips against her cheek and forehead, leaving a trail of kisses around her face until the redhead kisses her lips and stops time dead in its tracks. They move apart slowly and she opens her eyes to the bright blue eyes start darting down across her body, and the hands were soon to follow, pushing at her chest and ribs. "I don't have any weapons, Officer" she says with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm just… checking" Chloe says, lifting her shirt up. In the middle of a parking lot. With their friends _feet_ away and staring. She reaches up quickly and shoves it back down again, holding it there and staring at Chloe.

"Dude. No."

"But I-"

"He didn't hurt me. He just read the Bible to me and tied me up" She says, and Chloe didn't look that convinced, but she reaches up to cup Chloe's cheek anyway and hold the gaze of the redhead "Stop worrying, you can check me all over later, okay?" Chloe smiles with a huff and nods at her.

"Glad to see you're still alive" Her hand drops from Chloe's cheek after Jesse's interruption and causes her eyes to stray from the redhead to look at him.

"Thanks, guys. For coming all this way" She looks at Aubrey and holds the blonde's stare "Really. Thanks"

Aubrey gives a soft smile and a nod before looking over at the small Inn "Do you mind if we stay here for the night? We can leave first thing, but driving a million miles.."

"Yeah, no. That's cool. Take as long as you need, I really doubt he'll find me here" Beca says through her awkward stance. She never could be completely comfortable around the blonde, hopefully one day she can.

"I'll go get a separate room, since you two are gonna be….yeah." Aubrey makes a noise with a shudder as the blonde turns to walk away from them.

"So how was the drive?" She asks Jesse

"It was… long" He says, glancing over at Chloe, which makes her turn to look at the redhead curiously.

"What? I was fine, don't listen to them" Chloe says, waving the hinted accusation away.

"We were _all_ going crazy with worry" Katie mentions quietly and stares at her "What was he planning to do? Just take you to Washington and keep you tied up forever?"

Beca looks over at Chloe before deciding against honesty and back to Katie again with a shrug "I guess so"

"He's an idiot" Jesse says with a clear hatred. "I'm gonna go catch a room as well"

"Can we share?" Katie asks Jesse, which instantly makes her eyebrow raise as she looks between the two.

Jesse looks at her, and she shrugs at him as if she didn't care, which… she doesn't. Even though it was going to be weird to explain to people who think she was dating him.

She watches as the two walk away from her and Chloe, and when she turns around, she finds her girlfriend grinning at her. "What?"

"I missed you" Chloe reaches up to stroke her hair, and she swears the redhead's eyes were glossy with tears. "I thought you'd be hurt, or worse"

"And I'm neither of those" Beca moves forward against Chloe again, which makes the redhead move quickly to the side and press their lips together. Her stomach swirls with her excitement and pushes her to part her lips, letting her concern for their surroundings to drop away from her so she can kiss Chloe as much as she needs to, no matter where they are.

She's not one for PDA in any cases, really. At least she never thought of herself to be, but this wasn't exactly a busy area, Aubrey's car was the only one in the lot. Which her back ended up thumping against with Chloe's direction and making her eyes spring open during the kiss before she pushes her girlfriend back a few inches to break the kiss and calm them down.

"I'm n-" Chloe's lips cut her words off with a more desperate kiss, and the hand grabbing at her shirt ends up underneath the material. Her hands spring up to push her girlfriend's shoulders back, keeping the girl at a distance while she catches her breath "Okay… Can we just...go inside first?"

Chloe's eyes dart around the area and her stomach flips when the redhead's lip gets sucked back between teeth and forms into a sly grin "I don't see anyone around. You scared?"

Beca's head retracts slightly after Chloe's challenging question. "Um.. No? I just don't want to be disrespectful to the couple who own the place"

Chloe's eyes narrow slightly and the redhead's sly grin turns into a soft smile "Did you make friends?"

Beca sighs softly and drops her hands from Chloe's shoulders to take the good hand in hers and walking towards the Inn. "I made _best_ friends" she says

Chloe swings their arms back and forth and locks eyes with her as they walk, the blue eyes all but turn into cartoon hearts while Chloe stares at her with a wide smile.

"You're gonna run into something if you keep staring at me like that" Beca says with a tilt of her head.

"I don't care, I just need to look at you forever" Chloe tightens the grip around her hand and she rolls her eyes during her smile.

* * *

She missed Chloe like crazy as soon as her father took her. And as soon as Chloe kissed her in the privacy of the room, all of her feelings for her girlfriend intensified at once. She had Chloe on the bed in moments and they lost all track of time during their reconnected love-making.

She never thought she'd be able to stay in bed with her girlfriend again. Not like this, with both of them staring silently at each other and most likely thinking the exact same thing.

"I'm never gonna go to sleep again, you know" Chloe says, shifting closer to keep their lips close enough for her to feel the breath from her girlfriend.

"You better sleep. I don't want you going crazy on me"

"He took you...while I was asleep. It scared me so much"

Beca reaches over to rest her hand on Chloe's hip and smiles softly "It isn't your fault, Chloe. That was all on that douche. You need to sleep"

"I'll only sleep if I'm on top of you. _That_ way, if someone wants to kidnap you, they have to roll me off and wake me up" Chloe says, while rolling towards her and flattening down over her body, making her chuckle and wrap her arms around the redhead. "I kinda trended you on twitter"

"You what now?" Beca says, letting her arms falter and loosen slightly, but tighten again when she remembers that's how Jake recognized her.

"I know it was stupid, and I really didn't think it would get that much attention" Chloe says, raising up over her to look down. "I-"

"Don't apologize. I would have probably done the same thing" she says, staring up at her girlfriend and reaching up to push and hold a few strands of Chloe's hair back. "I can't even tell you how much it means to me that you followed"

"Well, after all of the stuff we've been through, how could I just let you get taken away from me?" Chloe smiles down at her and leans down for a quick kiss.

Beca smiles softly and moves her hand down Chloe's cheek to brush her fingertips over the redhead's lips before moving up into a better kiss, one that she doesn't let finish until she hears the soft moan from her girlfriend.

* * *

They did eventually drive into town to get food, which only happened thanks to Aubrey's voice sounding through the door and interrupting them. Neither of them had even noticed how long they were talking and rolling around with each other, so it was surprising when they walked out and found darkness.

"Holy crap, were were in there that whole time?" Beca asks Chloe quietly as they move to the car.

"Yes. And you should also know your room borders ours so…..thanks for that" Katie says with an awkward expression

Chloe's giggle was the only noise to follow, Beca was too horrified to speak, and Jesse was grinning at her, totally aware that she wanted to die right now. "Whatever" she says through a feigned indifference.

They pile into the car, and Chloe's arm instantly wraps around her shoulder and yanks her against the redhead's side, squeezing her and refusing to lighten up.

Beca was mostly caught off guard by the way Chloe was keeping their bodies attached, and she knows what it is. Chloe was letting her know that she was protected, in a very clear move. She doesn't say anything about the move, just lets herself settle in against her girlfriend's body. Allowing herself to be the one who gets protected, instead of being the aggressive one who attacks.

"So I think we only have two things to choose from, Val said there was a diner down the street or we can drive a bit and get Chinese food in the next town." Aubrey says, turning around in the driver's seat to look back at them.

"How can you have trouble picking? Chinese wins _every_ time" Chloe says, trailing fingers lightly over Beca's arm.

"I'm okay for anything" Beca shrugs.

"Yeah, if you want to drive out to the next town, we totally can. It's your car" Jesse says, staring at Aubrey from the passenger seat.

"Okay, well since _Chloe_ is the only one who gave an answer, we're getting Chinese" The blonde says, turning around in the seat to start the car.

"Hey Bec, you missed seeing Katie actually talk sense into your step mother" Jesse smiles slightly, staying turned in his seat to stare back at them while the car moves. His eyes changing direction to glance at Katie, making her eyebrow raise.

"And you guys just happened to be hanging out at the time, huh?" Beca says with an accusing tone and a smirk.

"Well… yeah. But we were just-"

"It's cool, dude, really" Beca interrupts with.

"Wait, what?" Katie glances back and forth between Jesse and her, making her smirk turn into a full smile. "What?" Katie asks again, a growing concern spreading across her stepsister's face.

"Nothing" Beca says with a shrug, her hand dropping to Chloe's leg. The redhead's casted hand moves to hers, leaving the exposed fingers against the back of her hand. She hears Katie's questioning continue a couple more times as she stares down at the cast, smiling slightly instead of feeling horrible.

Chloe's lips press to her cheek, making her smile grow again and turning to the redhead when the lips smack and move away. "I love you" Chloe mouths to her, which she copies and sends back to her girlfriend before leaning in and kissing Chloe.

"Don't go getting it on back there" she hears Jesse say.

"Seriously" Katie's voice says, making her move back from the kiss with a soft sigh. "Haven't you guys had enough?"

"Never" Chloe says blissfully, leaning forward to smile at Katie.

"I am slightly jealous of you guys" Her sister says, making her look at the girl with an odd stare. "Not in a weird way, you guys just seem so right. You're opposites but… you fit so perfectly that it doesn't even matter"

"That's so nice!" Chloe says excitedly, moving the hand off her arm and pushing against her to reach out to Katie and pinch her sister's cheek like an annoying grandma.

Katie swats at Chloe's hand with a laugh, causing the redhead to bring the hand back to her arm with a chuckle and squeeze around her again. The casted arm flies up for some kind of attempt at a hug and had she not turned down to look at the movement, she wouldn't have been conked right on the nose.

"Jesus" she says, her hands moving up to cover the pained area.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry, are you okay baby?" Chloe says, both arms moving from her to try pulling at the hands covering her face.

"I'm okay" Her voice sounds from behind her hands with a slight muffle. The hands pull harder, making them come off her face, and the small gasp and rush forward makes her concern jump.

"Bree do you have any tissues?" Chloe says loudly, making Jesse turn around and widen his eyes at her. Now she knows her nose is bleeding, thanks to everyone's shocked reactions.

"Oh Christ , Beca. I thought that only happened in s.. Um. In the glove compartment" Aubrey says after catching the sentence and making Jesse move forward and search.

Her eyes move to a very guilty redhead smiling back at her, and if she wasn't bleeding to death out of her nose, she'd probably say something. Jesse passes her a wad of tissues, which she takes and scrunches up before putting them to her nose.

"It is kinda odd to see this though, like I'm used to associating this with dirty time" Chloe takes a few more tissues from Jesse and starts wiping at her mouth and hands while she holds the tissues against her nose.

"I know. I feel kinda dirty right now" she says with a little grin forming under the tissue wiping at her lips.

"I'm really sorry, Becs . I didn't mean to hit you, I wanted to hug"

"I know, you're fine" she says, dropping one of her hands to Chloe's leg for a quick couple of pats before returning to her nose.

The car rolls to a stop when they eventually reach the restaurant, and she shifts out of the car without touching anything in case her hands were still bloody. The tissues still pressed against her nose with one of her hands as she stands next to the car.

Chloe's hand moves up to pull at her wrist softly, taking it away from her nose and letting the redhead inspect her, which is something she grew used to when she had the nosebleed situation before. "Its stopped" Chloe says, taking the tissues from her hands and looking around until she finds a nearby trashcan.

Beca watches the redhead moving away from her to approach the trashcan and return again to take her hand and follow behind the group heading into the restaurant.

Her first step in the place was the bathroom to wash her hands, it was a quick trip, so it was odd to her that Chloe followed and talked in her ear about how the restaurant looks. She couldn't help but to glance up with her hands under the water and ask "Are you worried that he's going to find me here?" completely cutting off the commentary on the pretty restaurant.

Chloe's face falls slightly, making her regret the question "I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared. Am I bothering you?"

"No, no. Not at all, I just don't want you to be so worried. He doesn't know where I am, he can't find me here"

Chloe didn't look convinced in the slightest and looked away from her "I just want you close now. I almost lost you for the fiftieth time" the redhead says quietly, prompting her to move forward and hug her girlfriend, wet hands or not.


End file.
